English is a funny language | Forums

[GanajaD]

Lets face it
english is a stupid language
there is no egg in eggplant
no ham in hamburger
and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple

english muffins were not invented in England
french fries were not invented in france
we sometimes take english for granted
but if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor its a pig

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing
if the plural of tooth is teeth
shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
if the teacher taught,
why didn't the preacher praught

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
what the funk does a humanatarian eat?!
Why do people recite at a play
yet play at a recital?

Park on driveways and
drive on parkways
how can the weather be hot as hell one day
and cold as hell on another
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
of a language where a house can burn up as
it burns down
and which you fill in a form
by filling it out
and a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
and it reflects the creativity of the human race
(which of course isn't a race!)
That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
and why it is that when i wind up my watch
it starts
But when i wind up this poem
it ends.

[MTSuonare22]

French horn was invented in Germany.

Cactus---cacti
purpoise---purpi?

swim-->swum
skim-->scum?

[RetiredRonin]

You missed that shipments are on cars and cargo is on ships.

[TRGoodGrief]

Iv read that before somewhere. XD

[Barrybarfly]

French horn was invented in Germany.

Cactus---cacti
purpoise---purpoises

swim-->swam
skim-->skimmed

Let me fix that for you.

[sparkierjonesz]

actually french fries are french

most likely history of it is
some french guy sold in in paris first but it didn't sell very well
then he tried it to sell in belgium and it sold very well
first got popular here
than it got popular everywhere

[GanajaD]

I just read it from an article my instructor gave me so i thought i'd share
The reason why i have included the authors name and source is because it's unknown

[NSP_I_VeNoMz]

Quicksand that 'takes you down slowly' doesn't exist those 'quicksand moments' that you see in the films is a made up myth xD you actually float on quicksand similar to water

[mutetus]

Bellybutton is my favorite word. But here's an English-Finnish comparison:
Bellybutton / pole: Napa
Even without your poleless as well: Navattomittannepahan.
And KatamariUK and CannibalShogun are still trying to learn it.

[MTSuonare22]

French horn was invented in Germany.

Cactus---cacti
purpoise---purpoises

swim-->swam
skim-->skimmed

Let me fix that for you.

It was to show nonparallel plurals among words. I'm not that dumb