jokes | Forums

[Barrybarfly]

A dyslexic man walked into a bra...

[willyums]

i cant pronounce Armageddon... its not the end of the world.

[Barrybarfly]

i cant pronounce Armageddon... its not the end of the world.

Easy for you to say!

[Morfyboy]

This just gets better..

[Barrybarfly]

SO, A PIRATE WALKED INTO A BAR …


A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said,

"Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a
Cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook?

What happened to your hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and
Got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook
But I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds
Flew over. I looked up, and one of them **** in my eye."


"You're kidding," said the bartender.
"You couldn't lose an eye just from bird ****."


"It was my first day with the hook."

[Morfyboy]

Luke skywalker n darth vader were having a saber fight when darth turns and says
'Luke..stop this fighting..i know wot you got for christmas''

Luke replies
'How do you know father'

Darth answers
'Because i felt your presents'

[rlmergeuser]

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's helm attached to the front of his pants and a midget holding onto it.

The bartender looks at the pirate and says, "Well now, sir. That there looks like a mighty uncomfortable load to be lugging about."

The pirate sneers at the bartender, "AAARRRGGGHHH! He's driving me NUTS!"

[Morfyboy]

[shamusmon]

Have you heard about the magic tractor
It went down the road and turned into a field

[LukeMSki]

Two guys are building a house and the first guy keeps throwing every other nail. The second guy says, "What are you doing"? The first guy says, "These nails were facing the wrong way so I had to get rid of them". The second guy then says, "No stupid, those are for the other side of the house".

A captain on a ship is alerted of 3 enemy ships approaching. He tells his first officer to fetch his red shirt. When the first officer returns with the red shirt, he asks why the captain wanted the red shirt. The captain replies, "So that if I get injured in battle the blood won't show through and my men will keep fighting". "Very smart", says the first officer. The next day the captain is alerted that there are 12 enemy ships on the horizon. "Fetch me my brown pants".