@orchid, good for you man! We've got our first gig next weekend at some dorky teen center, not that big of a deal but we're still nervous. Ive written songs for her before but because i am basically the worst at singing, i would never be the one that actually sends the message, so the songs ive written about her stay locked up i guess you could say.
@420
I have never experienced rejection but im the same way as you.
The *** hole thing made my day start off well.
Member
roll up a big fat joint, relax......and be HAPPY!
Senior Member
eh, women, sometimes I don't understand 'em! (That was for you antg)
Your situation sounds a lot like one I was in a year or so back, eventually I clocked on that she was just stringing me along so I removed her from my life completely. Worked pretty well lol and now she continues to try and contact me.
Trust me you're better off without those kind of people in your life buddy.
Senior Member
If life could just be like an xbox friendlistOriginally Posted by T4KShadoweh, women, sometimes I don't understand 'em! (That was for you antg)
Your situation sounds a lot like one I was in a year or so back, eventually I clocked on that she was just stringing me along so I removed her from my life completely. Worked pretty well lol and now she continues to try and contact me.
Trust me you're better off without those kind of people in your life buddy..........
Senior Member
I was all ready to crack out that joke and you stole itOriginally Posted by HappyflowIf life could just be like an xbox friendlistOriginally Posted by T4KShadoweh, women, sometimes I don't understand 'em! (That was for you antg)
Your situation sounds a lot like one I was in a year or so back, eventually I clocked on that she was just stringing me along so I removed her from my life completely. Worked pretty well lol and now she continues to try and contact me.
Trust me you're better off without those kind of people in your life buddy.
Senior Member
Originally Posted by NonRedOrchidI was all ready to crack out that joke and you stole itOriginally Posted by HappyflowIf life could just be like an xbox friendlistOriginally Posted by T4KShadoweh, women, sometimes I don't understand 'em! (That was for you antg)
Your situation sounds a lot like one I was in a year or so back, eventually I clocked on that she was just stringing me along so I removed her from my life completely. Worked pretty well lol and now she continues to try and contact me.
Trust me you're better off without those kind of people in your life buddy.
Obviously I gave her an ear full first, but then I got around to the removing.
Apparently, I crossed a line and she is furious at me now. I don't even know what I did, but whatever.
@Shadow: I want to move on, I really do. I just can't do it when i have to see her so much. I am not excited for practice Thursday though, because i am pretty sure there will be yelling.
This is exactly what she told the OCD bassist:
"I guess me and Aaron are in a fight right now. I haven't talked to him in like a week. He crossed a line."
I just realized what line I crossed. K, as you already know, has serious emotional issues. She absolutely hates when people tell her "I'm sorry." Pity is what she hates more than anything. And that's exactly what I gave her... only once. But this was after she told me she just wants to be "really good friends". I just don't know, I feel like if we were supposed to actually be something, there wouldn't be these problems. Quitting sounds like a good option at this point.
I again apologize for continuing to ramble on about this.
Senior Member
The best way is for you to move on to the next girl. Until now you haveam assuming) only had one girl. Girls are in general very seductive... maybe one addiction can help you get over the other. It is like with marijuana and cocaine XD.
I felt like i should update this thread with what happened last night.
Last night, I was at a kid named Ryan's house with the overly nice rhythm guitarist and our British friend, Chris. We were hanging out because our bassist was filling in for a gig with his dad's band and we didn't have any money to get in. The band nerd drummer and his family(that includes K) went out to see them play, because it was the drummer's dad's birthday, and they had nothing better to do.
P.S. if you care, our first gig was swell.
BUT back to the story. K, who i hadn't talked to in 3 weeks, texted me, asking me why we didn't come. I'm going to go on and put this conversation in here right now.
I don't really know what I make out of this because i haven't thought about it hard enough yet... I'm just putting it here to tell someone.K: Chris told me you guys weren't coming to see Aj tonight! Why not?
Me: We're having more fun. NOTE: attached was a picture of us screaming
K: Okay. That's fine. Its just my opinion that you should've come. It was a lot of fun. But that's okay, i got to know Jordan more. Who knew he was SO nice. I was shocked. NOTE: Jordan is another friend of ours.
Here, Ryan takes my phone, and sends this: have fun playing him too
I slapped the **** out of him, and sent: That was not me.
K: What? I don't plan on playing him? I was just saying he was so nice because he's always mean to me. Well who said it?
(We missed with her a little bit here, because none of them like her at all now.)
Me: The person who took the picture.
K: Just tell me. I want to thank the person that just made me feel awful after a GREAT night. It was rude.
Me: I'd rather not tell you.
K: Awesome. You guys have a GREAT night then. Don't forget to gossip of how big of a player I am. Because I'm just the ***** that goes around. Yup. Have fun.
For the record, we weren't talking about her at all.
Me: Okay... You go ahead and make assumptions.
This is where the story opens up and stops being bull ****, I'm coloring it to make you notice it sooner, in case you want to skip the crap.
K: I will. I'm just tired on how everyone tells me I played you. Playing someone is when you intentionally meant to hurt someone. I didn't mean to hurt you in any way. I did not intentionally want to hurt you. And I did in a way and I feel awful. So you know what? Do me a favor and tell that ******* to make a joke about me being a *****.
(at this point i stopped letting them read the texts)
Me: I am not calling you a *****. I'm not shallow.
She double texted me here:
K: I wouldn't play someone I care about when i know what it's like to be hurt intentionally.
K: I know its not you. But I want you to know I didn't play you. But the person you won't tell me the name of basicslly called me a ***** when they don't know me. So yes, that joke he made about me playing Jordan was not funny, not humorous, not nice at all. And THAT kind of thing is not okay.
Me: I didn't do anything. I knew it was wrong, and I had no control over it.
K: I just want to know who said it. That's all.
Me: It was Ryan.
K: I figured. He already pissed me off. He told me I was a "guest" living in brad and tracys house. Him saying that and making that joke rubbed me the wrong way. Sorry for bothering you. I could tell you something mind blowing about my life right now but I'm not going to. (she does later lol)
Me: I'm glad you won't tell me right now because they would try to take my phone again. But you won't tell me at all probably. You aren't bothering me though. I'm glad you're talking to me.
K: It's something no one knows but a select few. And I would tell you. If you don't tell me you pity me. That hurt me. Really bad. Only because pity is something I hate.
Me: I know. I'm sorry. I know you don't like it. I shouldn't have said what i said. I was still really hurt by you at the time, I just didn't know what to say.
K: (She gives a weird speech about how we're humans and then) I'm over what you said. I'm not going to hold anything against you or anything. That's childish.
Me: The way you treated me after that hurt me even more honestly. You made me feel like i didnt even exist. And that hurt. A lot.
K: Yeah. I'm aware of this. I'm not good at facing these kind of situations. So i walk away from them. And right now I don't want to talk it out and face it. I feel like it won't go anywhere. What I did was wrong. I know that me treating you like that was wrong and that it would hurt you. I'd be the same way what happened has already happened. It won't change. I know that's mean to say, but i can't deal with this. Especially in the state I am.
Here, we have an insignificant arguement, and i say this:
Me: Okay. This is why we dont talk anymore. You get mad at me for everything I say. I know your going through a tough time, and life is hard, but why do you do this to me? You confront me like this everytime we talk now. ( by confronting i mean she tells me not to something that pisses her off)
CLIMAX
K: I'm not mad right now. I don't mean to confront you like this, it just happens. And yeah, lifes hard. Try being diagnosed with depression and having to take anti depressants to help you be happy so you don't try killing yourself again. Yeah, lifes hard, and this is something I am trying so hard to understand of what you want to get. (Didn't make sense to you? same, lets not worry about it.)
Me: Is that what's happening to you right now...?
K: Yeah it is. I get angry easily. I get upset easily. I want to kill myself everytime someone says something that makes me feel worthless all over again. I take anything to heart now. It's hard to joke and its been happening since i grew distant from you. So yes, this is whats happening. Glad to know the real reason why my feelings change? I cant handle anything. Its hard. And its hard to admit this.
Me:
K: I don't hate you. I told you this since i've already told you other things before. I've already had similar talks like this from tracy, brad, mom, dad, brothers. I just need to work on myself and im trying to do that. So if we can no just talk about what happened between me and you, id like that. Please dont tell the others. Id like to keep this a secret. I may not trust you alot(im saying wtf out loud here), but i trust you with this.
Me: I'm not going to tell them. I know you trust me, and your trust means a lot to me. I will talk to you about anything. At anytime.
K: Thank you. I really appreciate it.
end of conversation
Senior Member
Wow that took a long time to read through!
Ok so before I start a little disclaimer, I'm only talking from my own experience and I don't know you or any of these people so it's just some random dude's opinion.
I've seen/been in situations like what you seem to be in. It's toxic and unsustainable, she's is using you as an emotional punching bag and you have to stop it. You can apologise and talk about her feelings for the next two years of your life and it will bring you nothing but pain. She's talking about depression and suicide. This is emotional blackmail to make you feel sorry for her. She says that she doesn't want pity but that is exactly what she's using you for. She's making you feel sorry for her and taking her issues out on you when you show any sort of sympathy. Again, signs of a toxic and controlling person.
Look, I know you won't listen to me but I'm going to say it anyway.
She is not your problem. You might think you really care about her in your mind but that's just what she wants. Trust me, you're so much better off as a person if you can identify headf*cks like this and completely remove them from your life.
By her putting her "depression" on you is selfish and pathetic. Honestly, I've seen this card played by more than one woman who is looking for attention and it's sick. If she actually does have depression then no matter what you think, you are not qualified or remotely experienced enough to even begin to council or help her.
It's really tough when all the chemicals in your brain are telling you that you care about someone but she IS using you and you really need to ditch that dead weight. I can tell from the way you write you're a decent, caring guy. You don't need that kind of **** in your life, it's hard enough as it is. Nobody deserves to be treated the way she seems to treat you and you might think that she can change or that things will get better but they won't man. You need to start looking after yourself and stop taking on all of this silly *****'s problems.
Just remember man, you are the most important thing in your life, not her.
