1. #1

    Starfire wants to DO more reviews! Please make a request!

    Edited: Reviews so far:

    Skyrim - 10/10
    Hexen - 9/10
    Doom - 10/10

    Portal: Still Alive - 4.5/5 Star League

    Mercury HG - 4/5 A League
    From Dust - 4.5/5 A League
    Fusion:Genesis - 3.5/5 A League
    Orcs Must Die - 4.5/5 A League
    Splosion Girl - 3/5 A League


    I've been meaning to review games for a while now. So may as well start with a game 7 million people are discussing.

    Skyrim Review 1

    Skyrim is legendary! What's astonishing to me is how this open world is exciting wherever I go. This isn't at all at the standard of Oblivion, but with better graphics. No, it's so much richer than that. The atmosphere is phenomenal. The music in the title screen heralds what is a 10/10 game. The game leaves me with goosebumps and I'm left thinking about it long after I finish playing.

    So I'm thinking 10/10 for Skyrim. All reviews are subject to changes of score, but this is something I'll do for games that I will have more difficulty scoring.

    Rant 1 - Lives in Skyrim


    So I'm the kind of loon who believes that if you die, you die. I wish Skyrim did something about this, such as allowing new characters to start at a higher level and not asking the player to do all the core quests all over again. So I'm following a policy where I get an extra life every 5 levels. Good luck to my level 3 lizard and fourth character. He's gonna need it.

    Mercury HG review 2


    So you move left, right, and up by tilting the board. It's a purist speedrunning game. Most of the levels are really short, but some of the later ones are long and the bonus levels are a good length (20-30s to do a level) and I like those ones because the blob keeps getting bigger (a small story), which becomes harder to control. I like the simple, abstract visuals because it feeds my imagination. The trance-like music is a definite plus.

    I classify arcades as either B League or A league. Mercury HG gets 4/5 and is B League. It loses 0.5 for not capping the speed on the blob, allowing a small group of CENSORED to cheat. And it loses another 0.5 for having far too many really simple and boring levels.

    On the plus, it's very challenging if you want to get a fast time. It offers about 240 challenges. Not bad for its low price.


    Rant 2 - My Jewel accomplishment


    No I'm not talkin' 'bout BFTP. I'm talking about a level in Mercury HG where I embarress every other player from a pool of 15,000 players. Yes, including the CENSORED.

    In the level Antixenon I have a time of under 40s and the next fastest time is 70s. An explanation behind this anomaly? This level is a puzzle level. I split my blob a total of... lets see... 4 times and steer them to victory. Most people tremble at the idea of splitting their blob once. So to do it 4 times is AWESOME, kind of like the way Lord Voldemort split his blob 7 times, but he's a generic, shallow, and implausible character, so I win.

    Hexen Review 7

    I grew up with the Dooms, Rise of the Triad, and Wolfenstein (God I played that ****e game so many times). I played Hexen on the N64 and have a few years ago played its predecessor, Heretic.

    Hexen was the last 3D shooter that used sprites and which came out before Quake. Duke 3D used sprites but came out after Quake. Hexen was unique because it offered 3 classes, and had an rpg flavor heavy on exploration (if I remember right). The atmosphere was great too.

    However, in terms of pure aesthetics and gameplay, Hexen is a shade of the revolution that was Doom and Doom II. It's something to pick up and enJoy only after you have played those ones (and I'm very fond of Rise of the Triad too). It's perhaps one of the earliest well made rpg-like games.

    I'm thinking 9/10 and +-0.5 because I can't really say. Of course it would get a different score based on the 2011 standard.
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  2. #2

    Re: Starfire's Reviews and Rants (2 reviews and 2 rants!)

    GRReat reviews BABE! N your out of your cage.
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  3. #3

    Re: Starfire's Reviews and Rants (2 reviews and 2 rants!)

    ...Does anyone have any requests for a review?
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  4. #4

    Re: Starfire's Reviews and Rants (2 reviews and 2 rants!)

    Originally Posted by Starfire999
    ...Does anyone have any requests for a review?
    Fusion: Genesis and From Dust
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  5. #5

    Re: Starfire's Reviews and Rants (2 reviews and 2 rants!)

    Originally Posted by Starfire999
    So I'm the kind of loon who believes that if you die, you die. I wish Skyrim did something about this, such as allowing new characters to start at a higher level and not asking the player to do all the core quests all over again. So I'm following a policy where I get an extra life every 5 levels. Good luck to my level 3 lizard and fourth character. He's gonna need it.
    This is gonna be hard to maintain once you get past lvl 20. Just enjoy it and if you die you die.

    Review a Ryan Gosling movie. He's so freakin awesome it hurts.
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  6. #6

    Re: Starfire's Reviews and Rants (2 reviews and 2 rants!)

    It will take me a long time to get to level 20 as it is, so not too worried.
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  7. #7

    Re: Starfire's Reviews and Rants (2 reviews and 2 rants!)

    From Dust - review 3

    Ill keep it short. It gets 4/5 and is B League. It loses 0.5 for horrendous controls, another 0.5 for its uneventful campaign (there is an achievement related to the campaign that should have been explained in the campaign) and it loses another 0.5 for its many crappy challenge levels (it has 30 challenge levels).

    However, it gains a special 0.5 for its natural, earthly themes that I love like crazy. It is one of the best relaxation games out there. It's good therapy in my opinion. It taps into your primordial core.
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  8. #8

    Re: Starfire's Reviews and Rants (3 reviews and 3 rants!)

    Genesis - Review 4

    I haven't played much and, like all rpgs, it will almost certainly get better later on. This top-down shooter is best described as an rpg. You choose missions, you join 1 of 6 factions and migrate between them. You level up. You level up your accompanying vehicle called a sentient. You buy guns, you buy new sentients, you buy new ships, and so on.

    The game is a pain in the ***. The inventory screen is hell. The missions are bland. Given that this is a bare-bones arcade game, I cannot understand why they stuffed it with so much junk. If I want an rpg, I will more than happily play Skyrim. Don't try to be what is completely out of the range of a team of 4 people.

    Shame they couldn't have made 10 proper missions/levels and called it a day.

    Genesis gets 3.5/5 and is B League.
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  9. #9

    Re: Starfire's Reviews and Rants (4 reviews and 2 rants!)

    Any other game requests? I don't know that person Ender, and I don't know too many movies either.

    I'm thinking I should change B League to A League and up A League to Star League. That way I'm nice to everyone.
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  10. #10
    CagBall's Avatar Senior Member
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    Re: Starfire's Reviews and Rants (4 reviews and 2 rants!)

    Last film with Ryan in I saw was Drive. It was a good film but I'm definitely not a fan of his. He's like a wooden Christian Bale.
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