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Member
sends an empty beer keg rolling towards the sailors crying over the broken vodka botle and jumps back over the bar for cover...
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Senior Member
A typical night (and early morning) at the All Ranks, Joint Service Club, downtown anywhere troops are stationed.
Our hero sits at a small table engaged in a Civil Affairs project with some local "talent". He must be doing OK in winning their hearts and minds because they both promise to "love him long time". In the back of his mind he remembers the Chaplin's briefing, "treat the local girls like they were your sister". The good news is, our hero is an only child, and the rest of the guys are from down south (let's see if we get another thread going with that one).
Suddenly he is under fire. Canteen cups that smell faintly of stale cool aid. Must be the doggies over by the kitchen. Beer bottles with straws, OK, spotted the Jar Heads by the bar. Paper cups with little umbrellas in 'em, Squids at 9 o'clock. Sippy Cups?, great, the pilots want to play with the big kids.
Totally out numbered, he pulls out his trusty URC-10 and calls in for close support and a hot zone pick-up. The FAC (well actually one of his buddies in the balcony), tells him to pop smoke, he lights a Marlboro. Close air support begins as ash trays and empty beer bottles rain down from above. Here comes the hoist, looking very much like a couple of table cloths tied together.
With the timing and skill of a Puma taking down its prey, he leaps for the hoist cable, catching it with his teeth. In a daring move that would make Douglas Fairbanks Jr proud in one of his old pirate movies, he uses his momentum to swoop up a small Asian bar girl under each arm.
Safely hoisted aboard, he sets the girls down and begins removing their clothing checking for injuries. Another successful snatch and grab with a "happy ending".
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Senior Member
the coolest man on all this confusion that is called the Sky Walkers Bar, captain Deepbluewolf, stands up from behind the bar and scans the room with the eyes of someone that has seen the worst of war scenarios, notices the barrage of ash trays at 8 o'clock and someone holding a hoist with is theeth...nothing to be done...the all thing was to quick, so he turns his attention to the special OP's guys holding beer botles with a straw and asks his RIO to lock on target and prepare for ground(POUNDER) attack...he shoots flames up his six that light some dumb sailor hair on fire(wedd tought they would know better then to light a flame when a FLY boy is passing wind), and he's airborne...he quickly banks and does a barrel roll while focusing on the fast aproaching target, evades enemy beer botle shaped air to air missiles while is RIO fires shaft bursts (well...sugar packs was all he had) and on a final roll he fires a Smarties bomb( just run out of M&M's) that lands right on the target's head...
But then tragedy strikes in the form of an air to air beer missile, and he spuns out of control to the ground...everything is happening at once, the RIO call's smoke in the cokpit and he quicly extinguishes is Malboro, but by now is to late, so he bails out and lands hard on a table in enemy territory compleatly surrounded by sailors and ground pounders...
will our hero manage to extricate himself....
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Member
From a dark corner, the cold blooded heartless spec op "does not officially exist" type lobs two stun grenades in the direction of the sailors, two more at the zoomies and finally, five tear gas grenades at the marines, just for fun.
He then picks up his paint ball gun that he smuggled past the lack of zoomie security and proceeds to spray everyone as he makes his way to the pizza buffet, thankful for the backpack paintball magazine for the weapon.
Upon reaching the buffet table he notices that someone ordered a pizza with anchovies....
"Alright, who is the knuckle head that ordered fish on a pizza? Anchovies are used for bait, not for human consumption!"
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Senior Member
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Senior Member
Lane sits quietly in the corner, a game of Spades with Rose, Annabell, and Cookie. Priorities after all.
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Senior Member
hey lane 
that's so not fair...while were here busy in haaaa...huh...defending the virtues of our branches, you are stealing Rose from me 
(throws a barrage of cocktail cherrys at lane, followed by the lemon slices)
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Senior Member
Since when are bar fights 'fair'? 
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Senior Member
true my friend true 
i think that this must be one of the best threads ive seen here in a while...i just love the ways you guys made it. my hat goes of to all of you
but on a more serious thought ...Lane have you noticed how the squids and jar heads are not really able to defend themselfs 
(throws all the sliced tomatos from the buffet bar at the jar heads)
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Senior Member
(*****ducking the beer bottles*****throwing the spitoon*****).....I dunno, that master chief walking over don't look too happy! 
