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KL, forgive me absence. Naturally I would have posted pictures but read on and you'll understand why I can't.
They came for me in the middle of the night. How they got through the high tech security measures at Jambo Towers I couldn't say. They were professionals, and knew exactly what they doing, moving swiftly through the grounds, into the East wing by way of blowing a library window (not that much mess, fair play to them) but I was powerless to resist. Jeeves, bless him in his advanced years suffered a flash back, fled and hid behind the visitors check in desk mumbling 'It's a long way to Tipperary! It's a long way to go!'
Silhouetted in the light from the Billiards Room I stood framed in the doorway to the library. A unique sight I thought - what with me in just my velvet Wallace & Gromit slippers.
"I didn't order a Taxi" I offered.
Some clothes were thrown at me and I was told to dress.
"You have got be mad! Do you really think you'll get away with this? I shouted furiously
"Brown cords and a Red T-Shirt! Brown AND Red! I wouldn't be seen dead wearing this lot together!" Then I thought I shouldn't have mentioned the word Dead' and reluctantly got dressed.
Despite my protestations that I had some threads left unchecked (and a beer) and that I was actually quite tired I was nevertheless blindfolded, bundled into the boot (alright, alright - trunk) of a large black Chelsea Tractor (4x4) and driven at high speed to airfield. The car drove straight into the back of a large aircraft, a C-47 perhaps. We immediately thundered down the runway and lifted off disappearing into the black of night.
I tried to time how long we were flying, and note every turn we made, in an attempt to calculate where we were going - or rather, where I was being taken. Eventually they let me stretch my legs in the cargo hold, and removed the blindfold. I tried to break the ice by asking what the in-flight movie was going to be but none of the black fatigued and balaclava'd henchmen would speak to me.
I was shoved into a cargo net seat and motioned to buckle up as I felt the huge aircraft dip. We had begun our descent to land. I figured my chances of leaping over to the emergency escape window and pulling its handle was slim. Anorexic even.
"No Duty Free trolley then? - Mrs. Jambo loves those Toblerones, and they're much bigger than the ones in the shops back home" I quipped, figuring I had nothing to lose.
Pulling off the runway we slowed to a stop inside a huge hanger, occupied only by a sinister looking black limousine.
"Before I go and wait at the carousel for the bags you didn't allow me to pack, can I just go outside for a cigarette? I'm gasping! You know those baggage crews, take ages don't they!" I chanced. No dice. Stony silence again.
"My friend, just an observation - for punctuality, for an airline I can't fault you, but customer relations? Well, there is some room for improvement I dare say. Just a little smile wouldn't hurt" Surely that balaclava isn't that tight it doesn't allow you to smile?" Perhaps he'd make a note of it later I hoped.
Manhandled down the steps from the aircraft I was pushed towards the black limo.
"Nice touch! The walk from the gate to the terminal building can take forever sometimes can't it eh?" I said.
I had four big goons, all in their black fatigues behind me, and the limo in front of me. The rear window was put down an inch. A cloud of cigar smoke billowed out from the rear seat.
"Oooh, steady There's a smoking ban now, you just can't do that anymore in taxi's the public go in however long they are"
"Real Jambo, Sir" One of the goons grunted.
"Ah you were just shy! You can speak! Wasn't so bad was it?" I said turning to the goon in charge.
The door of limo opened and I was pushed towards it. "Never been in a limo! Do they come with the girls and booze as standard or do we have to stop off and get those later?" I questioned?
"Can you hear me driver? You're a long way away eh?" I called out as I sat down inside. No reply came.
"Been to the same charm school as you're cabin crew colleagues I see" echoed down the length of the car.
The engine starts and we pull away, heading out of the hangar.
Another update tomorrow KL. It'll all make sense, trust me!
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Within the hour you'll know Pharman17. I suggest (provided you are above the legal age in your town) you fix yourself a stiff drink.Originally posted by pharmman17:
Well i'm a bit confused. Is the war over? Did Socko win? Will Lane be the new First Citizen?
Can I come out from under my desk now? Nobody tells me anything!!
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