My wife WAS in Intensive Care | Forums

[doug.d]

We were both flattened by a really nasty flu last weekend and feebly managed to help each other through it. Haven't felt so awful in decades.

To make matters worse, I had to fly out of town on business on Monday.

Bloody hell! What a week! We were both still feeling **** from the flue on Monday but stable and seemingly improving, so I got on the plane, hoping to be fit to start work on Tuesday and that Terry would continue to feel better, as I was.

I'd no sooner arrived on Monday night, when Terry called me to say she was feeling really awful, like that night in December that she collapsed, and it was getting worse by the minute. She was really afraid and said she didn't want to go to sleep because she did not know if she would wake up again and she didn't want to die alone. I spent Monday evening on the phone, organising my son to spend the night with her, the doctor to see her at dialysis on Tuesday and the chemist to instantly deliver whatever the doctor prescribed. The situation at home eventually stabilised.

I optimised my work so I could leave early but I found that once the airlines have you by the balls, they won't let go. I spent hours sitting at the airport on "standby" because all the flights back were full, watching all the gold and silver 'Voyager' flyers pitch up whenever they felt like it, jump to the top of the standby queue and fly out. Eventually, I gave up and then, having booked out of my hotel, started scratching for a place to spend the night. After about 20 calls, I located a rather nice B&B who had a room. Finally flew out of there on the 08h00 flight on Thursday.

Spent all afternoon yesterday panelbeating life back into shape at home and thankfully, Terry responded well and is ok for now.

The decision has been taken for me, I'll be applying for early retirement so I can be at Terry's side for the time we have remaining to us. I realise there are probable negative financial implications but I no longer give a hoot, my "work" and looking after Terry must become one and the same thing now.

[Grymmjakk]

Wow Doug , I am sad to hear you 2 have had such a rough go of it lately. All I can say is I wish you both the best and am pulling for you folks. As far as early retirement goes well you have your priorities as you see them and you are following them as I think any one of us would.
The important thing here is that you look after yourself and Terry.She depends on you and you depend on her I think thats what its all about.
Keep your chin up and know that we all are in your corner.

[Ant__.]

I think what you are doing, 'retiring', in order to devote all your time to Terry is very courageous, and I suspect it's probably a little daunting for Doug but I'm sure you have made the right decision for both of you. Keep us posted, and as ever I wish you good luck.

[Celeon999]

Doing it for a person you love, it can only be the best thing to do

[doug.d]

Sentence has been passed. The doc ordered the taking of 2 of the 3 immuno-suppresents to cease immediately, effectively sentencing Terry's kidney to death. The third is Cortisone which will be phased out slowly, a sudden stop could be deadly to the other organs which are used to functioning with it.

On the bright side, Terry will slowly rebuild her immunity to minor bugs and infections and her tissue paper skin should get stronger and its healing capacity should improve dramatically. Incidently, the last of her leg wounds has closed, no more dressings needed. Another plus, no more standing in long queues at the ladies loo. The only way for fluids to leave her body will be through the dialysis machine.

Terry's had some really bad dialysis sessions recently, leaving her physically and emotionally wiped out. She discussed this with them and it turns out they set the machine to remove Potassium, which most kidney patients have too much of. Terry however, has always suffered from low Potassium and they could have killed her! They changed the machine type, filters and settings and todays session just left her hungry, so out to dinner we went tonight. I hope this trend continues.

An ominous sign is that she has lost feeling in her feet and this sometimes spreads to her lower legs, fingers and hands. It's quite common in kidney failure and longer term dialysis patients, that blood flow to the extremeties weakens and sometimes stops altogether. Then gangrene sets in and the extremeties must be amputated.

I doubt Terry will let things go that far. She insisted I draw up a 'Living Will', also known as a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order, which she signed today. Another 'December 06' shall never happen again and next time, the awful life or death decision will not be mine to make. It has already been taken.

I heard today that my early retirement proposal was signed as supported by all the necessary levels of management in my company. All that needs to be done now, is for me to obtain, complete and submit the official application paperwork and it should happen. OMG! I'm likely to be unemployed before Christmas!!! Part of me feels like I've won the lottery but the rest of me is having a panic attack! Ever done a calculation a dozen times and got the same unwanted answer, then switched off the calculator and gone ahead anyway? Oh well, I'll just call it my 'leap of faith'.

Anyway, it's been a good day. Full tummys, drowsy and all mellowed out after a good evening out. Tomorrow belongs to tomorrow.

[Ant__.]

Doug, your posts as ever always draws the immediate attention of your friends here. Thanks for the update.

It's difficult to know what to say to be honest my friend, other than we are all thinking of you both and we are behind you all the way.

God bless you both.

[HW3]

What he said.

[doug.d]

It's a girl!!!

One way of getting through tough times is to set goals, which Terry is doing. One of those goals which she set for herself in rehab in March, was to see the birth of her 4th grandchild. She made it!!

Generally, Terry has been on a fairly stable plateaux for the last few weeks and hasn't dipped below the ˜critical' line since that horrid week at the end of August. Dialysis has been going better but she's on the limit of how much fluid they can remove in 2 sessions a week and the spectre of 3 a week is looming.

She's been off the immuno-suppressants for a couple of weeks now and we've seen a slight improvement in the strength of her skin. It doesn't tear as easily and bruises heal quicker. The dosage of the last of these nasties, cortisone, has been halved and hopefully it will be safe to stop it altogether soon. The doc forgot to tell her kidney however, it's still showing signs of life and sending her to the toilet a couple of times a day. We may have to beat it to death with a stick.

Terry's next goal is my early retirement. Looks like everything is on track for end November. Wrote out a cheque to settle my car and will do the same for my house before month end, to get rid of monthly money drains. Another goal is to enjoy this summer and Christmas, the last one was blanked out and she didn't even know it was happening.

Just waiting for a long-lost cousin of Terry's who emigrated to Oz and is out here for a couple of weeks, to come visit today. Terry is excited and even. painfully but successfully, did some baking for the occasion.

Relative of course, but currently, life is great.

[Celeon999]

Thats good to hear Doug

[HW3]

Thanks for keeping us posted Doug. All my best wishes to you and Terry.