Senior Member
*Usual Disclaimer*
This is just for fun. Any inference to any one real or not real is purely subjectional by those involved. Due diligence has been taken to ensure nobody is unfairly portrayed. Nobody was harmed (very badly) in the making of this production and the animals used were fed well (Not our fault they didn't eat what was offered to them, sorry).
OK, let's get started. I'll say this now – If you think the story is slow – You are correct, because I have to type this with one hand whilst holding a sleeping 4 month old.
Ladies and Gentlemen: Please take you seats. If you don't have a seat – please, at least crouch down as best you can so those behind you can see too.
<hr class="ev_code_hr" />
Act One. Quiet now.
<hr class="ev_code_hr" />
The scene opens and we find ourselves in Berlin. In a post Socialistic apartment to be precise. A man is tending to his Budgerigars – tweeting softly to them as taps the cage.
He calls out aloud, as if to prompt a forgetful child ...
˜Monitor monitor on my wall, who is the best Captain of them all? Mmm?'
The PC monitor sprung to life and bathed the walls with a soft light.
˜Why, Celeon is the best Captain of them all, of course' it replied.
The man continued to coo to his birds, and smiled.
˜Just checking, Monitor' He said, as a satisfied grin spread across his face.
Meanwhile, Maverick is starting to get cold, stood there dripping from the shower with the phone to his ear, so let's go back to him...
˜Maverick? That you? KLCarroll here. I just had to call you to let you know that there's a BIG wind coming your way - you might want to make sure there's no animals left out tonight, especially any little dogs you might have that called Toto, OK Buddy?'
˜Erm, OK, thanks Kl, that's kind of you to call. We don't have any dogs though' Maverick replied, a little confused.
˜Aw dammit! Has RJ changed the storyline again? You were supposed to get a Tornado – My specialty – and we were gonna have to go find the Wizard of Ubi to get home again – That was the plan! Sorry to trouble you Mav - I'll catch up with RJ in the Moderators Lounge and find out what's going on and come back to you.
Sorry to get you out the shower and all that'
'No problem' Said Maverick, now even more confused, and shivering with cold as the last of the soap suds pooled around his feet.
<hr class="ev_code_hr" />
The next day, Celeon is feeding his Budgie's again and calls aloud...
'Oh monitor monitor on my wall, who is the best Captain of them all?'
The monitor thinks for a moment and replies...
'Why, DGrayson is the best Captain of them all, of course'
Instinctively, the birds in the cage fell silent. An incandescent rage began to boil up within Celeon.
'WHAT!'
'Dgrayson?' Celeon spluttered in anger.
The monitor thought for another moment, knowing this was hard news for Celeon.
'Why, Dgrayson has achieved a higher tonnage per patrol, combined with a lower Torpedo usage factor, and therefore is the best Captain of them all' the monitor explained.
'This cannot be true! why monitor, I have a mind to unplug you! DGrayson? I need to check your warranty, monitor!'
In shock at losing his title, Celeon set about planning DGrayson's downfall. The Budgerigars would have to fend for themselves for a while, but they were thankful they hadn't actually been in Celeon's hands when the monitor had broken the news.
Celeon took to his PC, knowing the only way to remove DGrayson, was to prevent him getting to his PC. Which meant getting Dgrayson away from home for a while. He began searching Google earth for any forests near to where DGrayson lived.
Senior Member
Senior Member
Senior Member
Member
Senior Member
Thank you everyone. Ash – Have you ever considered applying for a job as a film trailer script writer by the way?
Trust me, there are plenty more chapters, with plenty of 'players' to come as the story evolves. I appreciate your support
Onwards we go. Act Two.
<hr class="ev_code_hr" />
After 24 solid hours of Googling, Celeon clenched both fists, slamming them down upon his keyboard in frustration. Startled, the Budgies leapt from their perches and batted against the wire cage in a bid to escape.
˜Nothing! No forests for miles near DGrayson!'In desperation, and in need of reassurance, he wrote a pleading PM....
˜Do me a favour would you? Tell me, who, in your opinion is the best Captain around?' He asked, stabbing the send button over a dozen times.Every response said the same thing, serving only to confirm his fears. Some even added a smilie at the end, as if to just to rub it in.
˜Why, DGrayson, of course Celeon – Everyone knows that'
Flinging back the sliding door to his balcony, he stepped out and paced up and down, sucking in air through clenched teeth as his mind raced. The problem: Why was Dgrayson the best Captain?
...Because he played more patrols. In his twisted anger, a bitter solution was born.
˜Muah ha ha ha!' He bellowed. His eyes narrowed, and had we the technology, one of those clever sparkly glints would have appeared in his right eye.
˜What if, perchance, just perhaps, say, possibly, I mean, who knows, Dgrayson couldn't play ANY patrols? THEN what would happen to his ˜Best Captain' status mmm?
What do you think my dear Budgies? Do you think Daddy Celeon would be rightfully declared the BEST CAPTAIN?!' Again, the Budgies bounced around the cage, not seeming to care for the brightly coloured feathers that floated to the carpet.
Celeon knew what he had to do. Ten minutes later he was at the local grocery store. Like a man possessed, he headed straight for the fruit section, and made for the red apples.
Meanwhile, Mittelwaechter, pushing his trolley idly along, was running down the list of shopping he had to get, ticking items off verbally as he went.
˜Apples. Red' were the last items. He smiled as he spied there was one bag left. He reached in to pick it up when the shop turned upside down.
Or rather Mittelwaechter did. Looking up, he saw Celeon prising the Apples from his hand.
˜Celeon! What are you doing here?'
˜Give. Me. The. Red. Apples' Celeon hissed.
˜But it's the last bag, and to be fair, I got here first' Mittelwaechter countered.
Celeon, his face now flushed a deep red and his eyes bulging, went nose to nose with Mittelwaechter.
˜I NEED these Apples. I must have them' He hissed. Noticing how stressed he seemed, Mittelwaechter asked
˜Well, er, good for you, eating healthily. Um, are they going to help your blood pressure, Celeon?'
˜In the long run, hopefully yes!' Celeon replied, pulling the bag away.
<hr class="ev_code_hr" />
Several hours later, a DHL van pulled up outside Celeon's post Socialistic apartment block. The driver was checking which floor he needed on his clipboard as he walked towards the entrance doors for the collection when a box landed with a thump beside him on the pathway.
A voice called down from above. Looking up, the driver saw a man leaning precariously over the edge of his balcony, clearly agitated, who shouted:
˜By 9AM tomorrow! Just like your guarantee states – No later!' The driver picked up the box, and read the note attached:
˜To my great friend, DGrayson. The best Captain of them all'
'Congratulations on your ˜Best Captain' status. Having enjoyed that position (until recently) I urge you to enjoy this Red Apple, as a gift from me to you. I often found eating ALL of a Red Apple enabled me to enjoy a more... fruitful patrol'
Senior Member
I'm on the edge of my seat here! More!!
) . . . . 
