1. #1
    Yep. I stink. I stink like a great big steaming pile of hippopotamus ****e, baking in the midday sun.

    I have all the situational awareness of a drunken monkey falling out of a tree.

    I have the pilotting skills of a man in a straight-jacket.

    I spend hour after hour, mission after mission, flying in a tight circle, shooting the hell out of every single, nasty little air molecule that gets in my way. Sometimes there's a blur of movement in my forward view....I think its a plane. I fire at it. It could be friend, foe, or Father Freaking Christmas for all I care, I just want to kill it. Or hurt it. Or scare it. Or just let the bugger know I'm there...Cooee, its me: **** head.

    Success the other day. I killed....a car. By crashing into it at about 500 (million) KPH. Well, what did it expect? It looked at me funny. Just hope it was Adolf's staff car, and IM even flying for the Germans.

    The rare times I even get close enough to ID a plane as an enemy, it flashes past, out of view, and thats it, it might as well have gone through a wormhole, or jumped to sodding lightspeed, for all my chances of seeing it again.

    Immelman, Scissors, Split-S? You what!? How about managing to turn 8 different types of plane on their backs without even leaving the runway? What about that time when I tried out a stuka and managed to destroy my entire 8 plane squadron on the runway....oops.

    I stink at this game, I love it, but I'm absolutely **** at it! What can I do? I've read tutorials. They make my eyes bleed. I've done training missions, shot at balloons, bombers, trees and small, Latvian weasels and still can't hit anything.

    Oh, I did blow up a bomber with rockets...but I was so close I blew my own wings off too.

    People on the ground stare up at the sky, watching me performing the most amazing acrobatic stunts, swoops, rolls, dives, etc, etc, but IM JUST TRYING TO TURN BLOODY LEFT!!!

    Caution: do not adjust elevator trim whilst at 8X time compression...

    So, my question to you good folks, is: Am I ready to try multi-player?
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  2. #2
    Sure you're ready for multiplayer play

    Just get in a Heinkel or B25, sit on the tarmac and take on the Vulchers. Make sure you load up with the heaviest load you can put and as the vulcher passes over your AC unload your bombs. This takes some timing, but I'm sure you'll take him out...maybe some friendlies...what's your pilot name again?
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  3. #3
    I don't have one yet...Perhaps Latvian Weasel will do..?

    Look out for that name. Free kills.

    I like your idea of the vulture turkey shoot. However, with my current ability level, even a REAL vulture would be able to get past my guns, into my cockpit, and peck my eyes out before I'd even settled into my seat and put my goggles on....
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  4. #4
    LOL. Of course you are ready. You know what is the biggest difference between online and offline? Thrill.

    The No1. reason why I sometimes stink big time online is gunnery. Not because I'm bad at it, but because sometimes in the thrill I simply am not 'cool' enough to squeeze trigger at the right time.(snap-shots anyone?)

    But however, the best way to know you are ready for online gaming is related to your success in QMB.
    If you can regularly shot down 4 ACE fighters (for example you in Bf109G6AS vs. 4 Yak3Ps at 1000m, advantage none), then I'd say you are going to do just fine.
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  5. #5
    Of course you are ready. Even experienced people online need some target practice

    Seriously, you will learn a lot online both in terms of how different people are from the AI + the fact that you're likely to have good human players covering you...mostly unlike the AI who prefer to shoot your kills down. Plus, you have people to learn from.

    Best of luck.

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  6. #6
    I'll give it a go sometime real soon.

    I don't know about taking on four aces just yet....If they were retired, and I managed to strafe them in the pension queue...then maybe, just maybe. I'd still bet on the unarmed, stationary, flightless, geriatrics though.
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  7. #7
    M8, you don't even have to do that.. I say you will do fine if you can regularly shot down 4 AI ace fighters (I said that mostly because many new players have tendency to unload their gun with low hit ratio (below 5% -- notice that depends of the numbers of guns used on plane as well -- it is not the same thing if u fly Jug with 8xMGs and Me109 with 2MGx1Cannon), and that is their biggest disadvantage IMO.

    You may as well count your missed opportunities to hit enemy in one combat.. if you manage to land some lead on enemy a/c most of the times when you have a chance, that is also good sign (for example 5 opportunities hit, one missed etc.).

    But anyhow, if you can't do that, does not really matter. What really matter is fun.
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  8. #8
    Fun's good I'm registering hyperlobby thingy right now.

    The Latvian Weasel will (tomorrow) be taking (briefly) to the skies. Come one, come all, bag yourself a rare kind of flying (sort-of) weasel...
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  9. #9
    What's your hyperlobby name m8? Maybe we can fly together some times..

    Mine is Atomic_Marten same as here.
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  10. #10
    I have signed up as Latvian Weasel. Its giving me a headache right now, and I have to be at work in four hours....

    But, I'd happily be shown the quickest, flamiest way to die online by you at some point, Mr crazy, Green-eyed Bull/Moose Thing...

    Whats your lobby name?
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