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[MrBdur]

Most people here know me I think. I just wanted to take a moment to apologize for weird behaviour from me. To everyone.

Maybe I shouldn't be apologizing. I feel bad but maybe it isn't my fault.

I do in fact have either ADD or ADHD. My therapist confirmed that for me this morning. Not sure which one yet (or maybe they are actually one in the same?).

Anyways, I feel compelled to ask folks to try taking me with a grain of salt when I'm not making sense as I am actually a very logical person. If I am not speaking from a place of logic, it is likely not truly me speaking.

When I get triggered, I tend to just spout out the overly emotional thoughts off the top of my head. They aren't my true thoughts. They are emotional reactions.

Patience is a virtue. All I ask is that people try to not get so offended by me when I'm in a tail spin. The best thing to do would be just making me aware that I'm triggered and reacting.

If that is brought to my attention during my tail spin, I feel like it would be greatly beneficial and I may even just snap out of it right then and there and go "oh sh*t".

I have quite literally been victimized by MY OWN BRAIN. Like, f*ck you brain!! You stop that!!

That's all. Just a heads up that while I am a very laid back and logical person, I become something else entirely once I've been triggered by something.

I am going to be working on triggers a lot in therapy though so hopefully I can stop rage posting. It hurts me more than it hurts any of you so trust me when I say I NEED this to stop, and I'm the only one who can stop it.

[LightUpTheEyes]

Hey man, you're acting like add/adhd is like some uncommon disorder. I also have dealt with it all my life, been off and on Ritalin and Adderall for as long as I can remember. It's not some disease that takes over your mind randomly and types words for you.

[MrBdur]

Hey man, you're acting like add/adhd is like some uncommon disorder. I also have dealt with it all my life, been off and on Ritalin and Adderall for as long as I can remember. It's not some disease that takes over your mind randomly and types words for you.

Everyone is different dude, and you're right, it doesn't take over your mind and type words for you, but it does influence your decisions and when it goes completely unchecked for 29 years, it is actually quite easy to progress to where I have gotten.

I have been made to feel totally crazy for as long as I can remember. I have always felt like there was SOMETHING going on, but no one ever believed me, especially since I wasn't aware of what it was, just that SOMETHING was off.

Just because your experience with it differs from mine doesn't make mine any less valid. This is just a brand new discovery for me and the emotional outbursts are just the result of me not realizing I had ADD/ADHD and just taking on all the failure as a personal burden. It warps your perception man.

Now that I am aware of it, I instantly find it easier to manage myself.

You can try to discredit me all you please but I am literally telling my therapist about all the sh*t I do and say and under what circumstances and he just nods and smiles and says "yep, that's the ADD brain at work".

The fact that you have the same disorder and here you are trying to make me feel bad about this revelation is... strange...

Makes me think you are either lying, or your medication is simply doing it's job and has been for so long that you've forgotten what it feels like.

Anyways, thanks for giving an honest opinion at least!

Cheers!!

Clarification:

My therapist has already explained to me that just like any disorder, there's a spectrum to ADD/ADHD. You can be mildly affected or severely affected or somewhere in the middle.

Evidence suggests, based on what we have both expressed, that my ADD/ADHD is simply more severe than yours.

It could also just be that you were diagnosed young and have had awareness all your life and have also tried medications.

I am 29 years old, have suspected something for well over a decade with no one ever believing me, and have suffered thinking I just fail at life.

Lol. This right here. This rambling. ADD/ADHD. You should know this, bud!! That is, if you're actually telling the truth...

[Goat_of_Vermund]

I never noticed an issue with you. Well, my wife maybe has something like that, so I might be accustomed to that.


I would like to say that some of my aggressive behaviour comes from something like this, but I am probably just arrogant, and feel better when I put people to their place.

[garr1999]

I've been through ADD in had the same experiences ever since elementary
coupled with aspergers it only made it worse since communicating
my thoughts without understanding how the other would react was
a big problem of mine.

So I get what your going through bdur n hopefully it'll die down after awhile
because it is possible to suppress it.

[King_of_Xibalba]

I have a little (functional)asperger myself lol, resistant to drugs depression(both diagnosticated) , perhaps a mildly ADD (unable to focus on boring tasks, unable to focus unless is a thing that is interesting for me, unable to focus on repetitive no intelectually related activities so I cant work in simple jobs)
"Mensean" IQ and sometimes I can develop celotype. I can read corporal language with pretty high accuracy. That makes me isolate myself, cause I know when people is disgusted by me or they are rejecting me.

I recommend to test your IQ with the professional so you can understand in much deeper form your complexities and traits. For example I cannot work with bosses that are idiots and treat people like ****, cause normally I know more than them and at the same time I reason that money is a mere tool not a right to treat people like dogs for an ego trip, so I will resign on the spot even if I don´t have any money on my account.No amount of money can suppress my reasoning, also I´m nearly invulnerable to emotional manipulation, pointing out the flaws in the "argument" of the person that tries. I love dogs by the way, just hate persons that think employees are.

If your IQ is high, well , any form of ADD can produce this: lack of discipline because you always relied on pure brainpower, you didn´t improve much the Grinding skill. I never had the need of study more than some hours to pass my exams,never did any homework, passed with mediocre gradings due my refusal to do homework. I learned to speak in english by seeing movies and playing games, never had any former training. Homever due the lack of discipline even now I can´t fully talk in english with a 100% proficiency. Again lack of selfdiscipline. Lack of mental energy. A 1 month course would suffice, but oh well...lazyness.

also I´m depressed cause my mind is always looking for flaws or things that can be improved. The most depressing thing for me apart of not feeling truly loved and understood by women and my family, is living in a third world country I think living here makes my depression worst and actually makes my IQ a little less due the necessity to adapting myself to an average IQ of 88 , a country that doesn´t invest in tech and science, a country with actually a lot of geniuses that abandon this mess to work in NASA or around the globe to never return.

When you are treated with the correct drugs , holy ****! world is much much better and productivity will rise like never before. But drugs can also have severe secondary effects, that´s why I don´t use them anymore.

So well, we can say FH is complex enough to maintain my interest and attention and even to prevent my depression.I can train and play this toxic pseudogirlfriend for 6 hours straight.

[MrBdur]

I never noticed an issue with you. Well, my wife maybe has something like that, so I might be accustomed to that.


I would like to say that some of my aggressive behaviour comes from something like this, but I am probably just arrogant, and feel better when I put people to their place.

Lol you're good people man, I always liked you

How do I grab multiple quotes in one reply and at the same time know where to type to have my responses appear beneath each corresponding quote?

[MrBdur]

I've been through ADD in had the same experiences ever since elementary
coupled with aspergers it only made it worse since communicating
my thoughts without understanding how the other would react was
a big problem of mine.

So I get what your going through bdur n hopefully it'll die down after awhile
because it is possible to suppress it.

I appreciate the understanding man. Nice to know my feelings are valid and not imagined. Thanks

[MrBdur]

I have a little (functional)asperger myself lol, resistant to drugs depression(both diagnosticated) , perhaps a mildly ADD (unable to focus on boring tasks, unable to focus unless is a thing that is interesting for me, unable to focus on repetitive no intelectually related activities so I cant work in simple jobs)
"Mensean" IQ and sometimes I can develop celotype. I can read corporal language with pretty high accuracy. That makes me isolate myself, cause I know when people is disgusted by me or they are rejecting me.

I recommend to test your IQ with the professional so you can understand in much deeper form your complexities and traits. For example I cannot work with bosses that are idiots and treat people like ****, cause normally I know more than them and at the same time I reason that money is a mere tool not a right to treat people like dogs for an ego trip, so I will resign on the spot even if I don´t have any money on my account.No amount of money can suppress my reasoning, also I´m nearly invulnerable to emotional manipulation, pointing out the flaws in the "argument" of the person that tries. I love dogs by the way, just hate persons that think employees are.

If your IQ is high, well , any form of ADD can produce this: lack of discipline because you always relied on pure brainpower, you didn´t improve much the Grinding skill. I never had the need of study more than some hours to pass my exams,never did any homework, passed with mediocre gradings due my refusal to do homework. I learned to speak in english by seeing movies and playing games, never had any former training. Homever due the lack of discipline even now I can´t fully talk in english with a 100% proficiency. Again lack of selfdiscipline. Lack of mental energy. A 1 month course would suffice, but oh well...lazyness.

also I´m depressed cause my mind is always looking for flaws or things that can be improved. The most depressing thing for me apart of not feeling truly loved and understood by women and my family, is living in a third world country I think living here makes my depression worst and actually makes my IQ a little less due the necessity to adapting myself to an average IQ of 88 , a country that doesn´t invest in tech and science, a country with actually a lot of geniuses that abandon this mess to work in NASA or around the globe to never return.

When you are treated with the correct drugs , holy ****! world is much much better and productivity will rise like never before. But drugs can also have severe secondary effects, that´s why I don´t use them anymore.

So well, we can say FH is complex enough to maintain my interest and attention and even to prevent my depression.I can train and play this toxic pseudogirlfriend for 6 hours straight.

I feel this so much. Like, I just get it. It makes sense. It's nice. Lol

It's quite the burden when you aren't fully aware of it and I'm sure I still have many challenges ahead but I'm so ready to finally succeed.

Dude, if you want a better place to go, just come to Canada (after the pandemic most likely).

Canada is chill as F*CK. It's also the home of Ubisoft Montreal, the main hub of For Honor's Maker.

LOL

DO IT

JOIN US

BECOME A CANADIAN

Just show up at the border, apologize for everything you do, crack a beer, smoke a joint, and you'll just become Canadian right there on the spot. If you reach in your pocket, you'll find a Canadian Passport. It's yours. Welcome to Canada!!

Ahahahaha

Edit:

I forgot to mention Tim Horton's. Get coffee and donuts from Tim Horton's. They'll just assume you're already Canadian and let you in.

[King_of_Xibalba]

hahaha! Right now I was reading the forms and FAQ of the Canadian government online page about migration matters lol
well maybe I will do it in a few years.
I hope you can get the best treatment, trust me, with the right drugs your higher attention and focus will be a game changer.If you encounter some secondary effects(probability is low) just find the correct drug mix, I maybe need to look an alternative to my first treatment but here the drugs are costly and hard to find.
cheers.