1. #1
    I was pondering recently a question: why is it that, despite being repeatedly slaughtered by the Assassins, the Templars are always on top?

    Then the answer struck me: because the Assassins are idiots.

    Sooooo, I think a list of their idiocies might be in order. Please contribute!


    1. When confronted with a tall unclimbable fence, they resort to using an experimental and highly dangeous flying machine instead of... a ladder.
    2. When overwhelmed, assassin recruits would NEVER run away. Even fighting an entire Janissary camp on their own, they would not run away. They just wouldn't.
    3. "The hookblade has two parts, you see... the hook, and the blade." Need I say more?
    4. They wore hoods in cities where literally NOBODY wore hoods, and highly obvious outfits.
    5. Certain Assassins, like Altair, acquired highly useful items (eg Armour of Altair). Instead of passing these down through the Order, they would hide these for centuries in convoluted tomb-raider-like puzzles.
    6. Other Assassins, like Ezio, would find said items (*cof* Altair's Apple *cof*) only to leave them where they were, solely on the basis of "I'm retiring".
    7. Ezio had no compunction about recruiting people whose loyalties were highly questionable -- pickpockets, for example. It's wonder the Order's ranks weren't entirely composed of Templar agents.
    8. Despite the Templars being aware of Assassins' fondness for haystacks (in the words of the Deacon: "Go hide in your haystack!"), the Assassins continued to leap into them from outrageous heights, never suspecting that the Templars might have filled them with rocks or anything.
    9. They had free access to one of the most famous genii of all time, Leonardo Da Vinci, for decades... and yet the Templars were the ones who got him to build them war machines.

    Add more! We need to get to 101!
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  2. #2
    Id rather not trololol xD
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  3. #3
    LordWolv's Avatar Senior Member
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    All good points
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  4. #4
    6. Other Assassins, like Ezio, would find said items (*cof* Altair's Apple *cof*) only to leave them where they were, solely on the basis of "I'm retiring".
    okay so, let me get this straight. ezio is getting on in his age, and you think he should've taken Altairs apple?

    In an altair memory, altair says something along the lines of: I should have stopped and just carried on with my life. ive wasted it.

    and ezio, in my eyes took this to heart and said; ive seen enough for 1 life.

    now, by your thing of saying that the assassins are idiots because Ezio has seen enough and did his part means that you are just someone who doesnt understand what he meant by it. if youve watched embers, you will understand. im not trying to flame but this is my view on it ;p
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  5. #5
    Limed_-'s Avatar Banned
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    10. Ezio created a giant chain effect is Cappadocia, which cost many lives.

    11. They created massive conflict in a.. *cough* Den Defence *cough*

    12. They go around the kingdom collecting stupid flags.

    13. Instead of jumping straight to the point, Ezio had to complete a large amount of side missions before focusing on his task.

    14. Assassin recruits run into walls..
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  6. #6
    GLHS's Avatar Senior Member
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    lol this stuff is pretty funny but I hope that's all this thread is for. Humor and making jokes. Cuz if it were serious then I'd be kinda mad.
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  7. #7
    LordWolv's Avatar Senior Member
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    15. They went undercover as Janissaries and killed their target in the most difficult way they could think up instead of just throwing twenty bombs over the walls.

    16. Every time they assassinate someone they go through a speech and a whole chat show with the target before standing up to see the twenty guards surrounding them, by which course the assassin is of course dead anyway about twenty times over.

    17. Instead of using silent, deadly and completely reusable throwing knives they cooked up a design that is so loud it would alert all the guards within half a mile and using bullets that just break up.

    18. They wear full armouries, white cloaks made out of fine materials that no civilians whatsoever will wear and expect to be able to walk the streets incognito.

    19. They work in the dark to serve the light, yet happily fly their symbol over the whole of the city and openly own towers.

    20. They don't consider the possibility of templars putting drawing pins in the bottom of hay bales for a laugh.
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  8. #8
    DavisP92's Avatar Senior Member
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    LOL

    21. Ezio wears the same cloths for days and years, they must smell horrible.

    22. Assassin recruits can't even swim

    23. Noone but Ezio can swim.

    24. NPCs don't tell guards that there is someone killing a group of other guards

    25. Ezio may not be a stealthy assassin but he is a great soldier. Soldier's Creed
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  9. #9
    I don't mean to insult anyone,even if this post isn't meant to be taken too seriously,BUT if you think assassin's creed isn't realistic enough and doesn't make sense,try leaving the house and experience real life instead of video games.
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  10. #10
    pacmanate's Avatar Senior Member
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    26. Assassin recruits shoving each other of buildings (sometimes into rivers) resulting in a death

    27. The Assassin's want to help the people yet they pickpocket even the poorest of souls

    28. Ezio not needing Viagra to have children
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