So just to get straight into point with this salt fueled post, why have the gameplay designers done everything in their power to make this game as unfun as possible?
Majority of the games heroes i would rather just leave the match than fight against, obviously a slight exaggeration, but it's not far and while you might have expected a long list, this is pretty much the only complaint that matters. I can live with ****ty match making, barely but still, i can live with targeting and especially switching your target being more or less garbage, but the fact that playing against half of the characters is such an absolute chore where fun has left the whole continent the moment i see the enemy loading in, is just awful.
It's getting hard to fathom how impossible it seems to understand that not every character should be able to have absolutely everything, granted, currently that only applies to a small handful, while the rest are forced to play ''optimally'' aka spam the move that leaves your opponent with the highest chance of guessing wrong. It should be obvious that neither of these things are a good thing, but wait, why not just play these god awful heroes since they are so good? Because i'd like to even feel good in that an opponent i beat wasn't just slapped in the face because my character takes about as much skill as dropping my face on the keyboard.

Suppose i should just slap here a list of things i feel like are not enjoyable, just by the off chance someone meaningful dares to have a look, while i get bombarded with all the manner of ''encouraging'' messages from the monkeys maining these bundles of joy.

Warden's shoulder bash is the best kind of fun with gambling on if you guess right or not, while obviously having hyper armor so there wouldn't be a chance to stop it from happening
Conqueror's gameplay, while having somewhat decent bits, mostly boils down to shield bashing, while not being anything too horrible, it is still a most dull way of playing a game like this with so much potential.
Lawbringer is another hero in a very sad place, fights with one take years as the poor thing can barely initiate with anything and would usually rather just sit there and wait to parry or block, once again just thrilling game play there.
Surprise to nobody, a casual scrub complaining about Centurion, granted i'm quite aware he isn't great, but the fact that if you make a single mistake, you get to grab a sandwich instead of playing while he does his straight out of youtube guide combo and more or less slaps you until you die, sure punishing for mistakes is great, but come on, even a friend of mine who plays him agrees that his gameplay isn't too interesting as all you can do is hope for a wall nearby and combo away.
The fact that glad's zone is still so safe is still a miracle, mained them quite a bit myself, but even i can agree that it's a little dumb, short bit there.
Oh hey, everyone's friend, Black prior, hero who can do absolutely anything, such joy! From fast lights to strong heavies, shield bashes, fast recoveries, unblockables and two hit combos with finishers being undodgeable, add a sprinkle of unblockables on top and oh what fun it is to get to try and do anything against the wonder knight who doesn't even need to know how to do anything but spam away with their shield, but just in case the player has looked at the moveset for more than 2 minutes, now they can ruin your fun even better. Seriously i've said so many horrible things about the person who designed Vortiger's kit that it should be illegal and even with a list like this, i feel like i'm forgetting half the reasons why i despise this character and even with knowledge of how to slam this slab of metal around on a certain character, even then it's just an absolute chore to do.
Kensei's dancing across the field and soft feints galore could just go rot in a ditch, either gamble on what to parry and where or dare to try and dodge, only to get slapped in the face with a homing Asian across the field since they just love to ooze after you if you dare to have more than a single foot between you and them, side dodge is also out of the question since that glorious nippon steel is longer than this rant list and will definitely catch you if you happened to dodge a frame too early.
Shugoki's rework was just a most horrendous display of just how great gambling is in a game like this and who doesn't love some healing and stamina regen in the middle of a fight, oh i know, the guy fighting against you who didn't toss the coin correctly and caught a big homing hug, granted, the whole rework is new and most likely dealable with more experience, but that experience will come with a lot of salt and swears as the timing is so, so tight.
Oh hey, Orochi, the grandest weeb with attacks so fast you can't even switch your guard stance in the middle of that slapping, seriously though, the sound effects on their attacks are still as horrific as ever, anime schwings and wet noodle slaps, come on. Most of my personal salt against Orochi comes from him being a counter assassin, which, to nobody's surprise, is what i play as most, but all these immensely fast slaps and homing dashes just leave me avoiding them every single time if possible, still though, being unable to switch your guard in the middle of the slapping is annoying to say the least.
Oh hey, more gambling based heroes, Aramusha. Let's make a character that's based on feinting everything and leaving your opponent having to gamble what to do and just for the sake of it, an infinite combo nobody will use because spamming the feint button is too ''optimal'' also toss in an all guard for those who can pay attention to the moveset for more than a minute for a nice reward so they can feel their character is truly hard to master.
Big boi Warlord or ledgelord falls in the same fun category as Conqueror, spam your unblockable and chip away to victory, such fun for both parties involved with the added ability of delivering your opponent to another continent, i wouldn't say that latter bit is much of a complaint, but this felt empty without it, also to add to chipping, surprisingly fast zones for the extra level of cheese.
Berserker was just clearly the copy part of pasting Aramusha, before adding things to him, yay gambling with feint spamming, so much joy.
Everyone's favorite crazy gal, the headache of every person who doesn't main her for easy wins, Shaman. This was the first clue on the game devs just wanting to throw everything at a single character, healing, check, fast lights, check, massive damage, check, soft feint literally everything, cheeeck and to add insult to injury, easy ledging for when you just don't feel like causing a brain hemorrhage on your opponent, or when you feel like doing exactly that, depending obviously on just which happens to suit you at the moment most. A little something that feels important to me as someone who isn't a professional gamer with the reaction speed of a NASA computer, soft feints aren't fun as they are most of the time just gambling on what your opponent might feel like doing next, especially with Shaman since she can feint eeeverythiiing, another genious mind here behind her who i've damned through the depths of earth for coming up with this magic.
Lastly, little yelling asian who dances around all over you Tiandi, who i was ever so ''glad'' to see hadn't changed a single bit, or clearly enough, from the days i found them in the closed beta of marching fire, while being dealable, having assassin speed lights, all the invulnerability frames in the world and some unblockables for the cherry on top, getting frighteningly close to just having a little too much good on a single character here, just an overall pain to fight against, not that high on the list, but immense potential to salt my groceries for months.

While i'm at it, i might as well slap the rest of my issues that i can think of, first one as someone who plays plenty of assassins, deflects being just, bad, on most characters.
With the timing being what it is, why is the reward for doing this, such a pathetic mess on all but two heroes, those being valkyrie and shinobi, especially poor Nuxia who got the shaft heavily with her deflect being very much blockable and her parry punish having a horribly messed up timing, with the fact if you dare to touch your guard during the three day waiting period, she just throws a light.

Two feats also come to mind, both being rank 4 and both being preventable by execution sure, but come on, even everyone who i've heard of using these agrees that these are just dumb, Last laugh and Auto revive. Sure, we can all laugh at these when they happen and do something, but it is mostly just a sad laughter, with everyone wondering why on earth were these put in the game, both are easily preventable, add little to nothing and if you happen to get killed as a result of either of these, you mostly just feel cheated.

As last bits, Forge is an awful map, being the only one to easily turn immensely unbalanced with the other team practically spawn killing the other with so little distance between the points and them being on the other team's spawn, somewhat attacker favored too? Can't exactly confirm that, but also, it with Harbor being the maps that just always pop up in Dominion if you just start it without being allowed to vote for a map.

Oh and also, guard breaking feels inconsistent? I can't put much weight on this, but sometimes it just feels unclear why it happened, sometimes characters dashing in closer to grab, sometimes not, sometimes interrupting attacks while other times not feeling like it, this might just be something i need to watch a guide on or something of the sort that explains all these differences and happenings, but figured i'd slap it here while i'm writing my salt rant.

Suppose i should slip in this last bit of disclaimer or something, i know i'm not that great at the game, but that feels like a bad reason to be disallowed fun, most of the time i'm playing this, i'm just hoping for an enemy team that doesn't consist of all salt farming heroes, leaving me wonder why i've sank nearly 200 hours into this when i only rarely get to have fun in it and when my prayers are not answered and i get to fight against the usual 2 Black priors and 75 orochi shaman mixes that are now fused into two heroes, i just have to sigh in sad amazement at how absolutely far this game has fallen with these heroes being designed in such unfun ways.
I wish i was able to provide some actual constructive feedback on these issues, but at this time of writing this, i'm afraid it'll just be a list of complaints without any solutions.
For salt everyone.