I was sitting here
Typing words
When suddenly a wasp appeared
Buzzing loudly
Obviously annoyed
And looking very weird
A massive wasp
It must have weighed
A couple of pounds!
Heading straight for me
To some eerie
Buzzing sounds
Then it disappears
Down the neckline of
My shirt
Starts stinging me
And JESUS
Did it hurt
In panic now
I tear my shirt from
Off my back
But it slides down
And continues
it's attack
I'm terrorised
As it moves into
My boxer shorts
Buzzing round
Evoking
Dreadful thoughts
I rip my trousers off
And throw them
to the floor
And then my shorts
No clothes on
anymore
The wasp flies off
Here stands a naked
But thankful man
Then, in horror I notice
My newly purchased
WEBCAM!
Welcome To The Real World!
http://www.cryingshame.org.uk
I was sitting here
Typing words
When suddenly a wasp appeared
Buzzing loudly
Obviously annoyed
And looking very weird
A massive wasp
It must have weighed
A couple of pounds!
Heading straight for me
To some eerie
Buzzing sounds
Then it disappears
Down the neckline of
My shirt
Starts stinging me
And JESUS
Did it hurt
In panic now
I tear my shirt from
Off my back
But it slides down
And continues
it's attack
I'm terrorised
As it moves into
My boxer shorts
Buzzing round
Evoking
Dreadful thoughts
I rip my trousers off
And throw them
to the floor
And then my shorts
No clothes on
anymore
The wasp flies off
Here stands a naked
But thankful man
Then, in horror I notice
My newly purchased
WEBCAM!
Welcome To The Real World!
http://www.cryingshame.org.uk
I was sitting here
Typing words
Checking my wall calendar for inspiration
I looked at the date
Friday the 13th
I froze in paralysation
Start thinking
'Bout accidents
How would I survive
This day's brought me bad luck
Ever since
I was alive
Nervous
Shaking like a freak
Start to sweat out of fear
Slowly turned around
And got up
Out of my chair
Headed for my bedroom
To lay down
And take a nap
Stumbled on the carpet
Fell down
Cracked my kneecap
Hurt a LOT
Screamed in pain
Scared my St Bernard
It got defensive
Attacked my arm
-"You F**kin' ****** !"
Was gonna kick the dog
With my other foot
Missed, Hit the bookcase instead
-"NOOO, MY $ 8.000 CHINA"
But at least
The dog was dead
Got up on my feet
Was gonna turn off my comp
To let it cool
As I reached for the button
The mobo got fried
By some dripping drool
Backed off
To get away
From the burning hull
Collided with my sofa
Fell backwards
Cracked my skull
I screamed like insane
Scared my dog
Back from the dead
With my wide-open fracture
It began eating
Straight outta my head
With half my brain splashing 'round
I impaled my dog
With the remote-control
Whilst burping my brain
It fell to the floor
Got knocked out cold
Spending an hour to get up
I stretched my back
Happy to stand
Stretched my arms
Got my hands chopped off
By the ceiling-mounted fan
I let out a ROAR
Dog lifted its head
UNSPEAKABLE PAIN
Squashed its intestines with my foot
Through its open wound
And it died off again
I headed for my phone
Blood flowing down my cheek
Imminent death was undisputed
Once at my phone with my blood dripping down
Into the computer's electric socket
I got electrocuted
I screamed once more
Dog wagged its tail
Wish I could show this to my gal
Never again would she buy
That God Damned
Peddygree Pal
I'm laying there on the floor
Taking my last breath... ... ...
-"Well, F*CK ME !!"
The number on the calendar
Ironically says:
"2003"
If you always expect the worst...
...things can only get better, Right ?!
*Positive Thinking*
and i thought i had problems!!!!
Welcome To The Real World!
http://www.cryingshame.org.uk
Hehe - I got bored. Good thing to make something creative out of it, don't ya thing ?
I should probably tell you all that I'm ok though. I don't even have a calendar anyway near my computer.
(BTW, it's your turn, Crying-Shame, to keep the thread going.)![]()
If you always expect the worst...
...things can only get better, Right ?!
*Positive Thinking*
Ok SweSent i'll keep it goin..but we will probably be moved to off topic!!!!
A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat.
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bites.
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A curser used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out.
Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile.
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a back up happened to your commode.
Cut you did with a pocket knife.
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu.
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens, they'll wish they were dead
now i'm struggling.!!
Welcome To The Real World!
http://www.cryingshame.org.uk