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sgilewicz
02-22-2006, 08:47 AM
Ralph arrived at his Internal Revenue Service audit accompanied by
another
>man. The IRS agent assumed the other man was Ralph's attorney.
>
>Going over his records, the IRS official said, "Well, sir, it
appears that
>you live at a much higher level than your reported employment
income. How
>do you explain that?"
>
>Ralph replied, "I love to gamble and I usually win."
>
>The skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look.
>
>"I can prove it," said Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"
>
>The official thought a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
>
>Ralph said, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my
own eye."
>
>The auditor thought a moment and said, "No way! It's a bet!"
>
>Ralph removed his glass eye and bit it.
>
>The official's jaw dropped. Ralph said, "Now, I'll bet you two
thousand
>dollars that I can bite my other eye."
>
>The official could tell Ralph wasn't blind, so he took the bet.
>
>Ralph then removed his dentures and bit his good eye.
>
>The stunned official was now three grand in the hole!
>
>"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asked. "I'll bet you six
thousand
>dollars that I can stand on your desk and p*ss into that
wastebasket by the
>door over there and never get a drop anywhere in between."
>
>The auditor, twice burned, was cautious now, but there's no way
this guy
>could manage that stunt, so he agreed again!
>
>Ralph climbed up on the auditor's desk, missed the wastebasket
completely,
>and pretty much peed all over the desk.
>
>The official grinned. He had just turned a huge loss into a huge
win! But
>then he noticed that Ralph's friend looked ashen and was visibly
shaking.
>"Are you okay?" he asked.
>
>The man replied, "Not really. Before we arrived, Ralph bet me
>twenty-thousand dollars he'd p*ss on your desk and you'd be happy
about
>it!"

sgilewicz
02-22-2006, 08:47 AM
Ralph arrived at his Internal Revenue Service audit accompanied by
another
>man. The IRS agent assumed the other man was Ralph's attorney.
>
>Going over his records, the IRS official said, "Well, sir, it
appears that
>you live at a much higher level than your reported employment
income. How
>do you explain that?"
>
>Ralph replied, "I love to gamble and I usually win."
>
>The skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look.
>
>"I can prove it," said Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"
>
>The official thought a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
>
>Ralph said, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my
own eye."
>
>The auditor thought a moment and said, "No way! It's a bet!"
>
>Ralph removed his glass eye and bit it.
>
>The official's jaw dropped. Ralph said, "Now, I'll bet you two
thousand
>dollars that I can bite my other eye."
>
>The official could tell Ralph wasn't blind, so he took the bet.
>
>Ralph then removed his dentures and bit his good eye.
>
>The stunned official was now three grand in the hole!
>
>"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asked. "I'll bet you six
thousand
>dollars that I can stand on your desk and p*ss into that
wastebasket by the
>door over there and never get a drop anywhere in between."
>
>The auditor, twice burned, was cautious now, but there's no way
this guy
>could manage that stunt, so he agreed again!
>
>Ralph climbed up on the auditor's desk, missed the wastebasket
completely,
>and pretty much peed all over the desk.
>
>The official grinned. He had just turned a huge loss into a huge
win! But
>then he noticed that Ralph's friend looked ashen and was visibly
shaking.
>"Are you okay?" he asked.
>
>The man replied, "Not really. Before we arrived, Ralph bet me
>twenty-thousand dollars he'd p*ss on your desk and you'd be happy
about
>it!"

Waldo.Pepper
02-22-2006, 09:39 AM
Old jokes are the best!

PBNA-Boosher
02-22-2006, 11:54 AM
LOL!