View Full Version : Post your quotes here or else!

Pages : [1] 2

06-16-2005, 06:35 AM
ok enough of this 4.01 whining, i want everyone to post here a quote, fromany source they like. When posting the quote, you must say who it is and where from e.g. what book or film, i look forward to hearing them. I will start you all off, if no1 posts back their quotes i shall be very disapointed.

"If you are out of A-20s, its allright, ill just go home" - John Smith on his aircraft choice after graduation from advanced flight school 1943. Needless to say, they stuck him in a B-24. This quote is from "Wild Blue" by Stephen Ambrose, author of Band of Brothers.

06-16-2005, 06:35 AM
ok enough of this 4.01 whining, i want everyone to post here a quote, fromany source they like. When posting the quote, you must say who it is and where from e.g. what book or film, i look forward to hearing them. I will start you all off, if no1 posts back their quotes i shall be very disapointed.

"If you are out of A-20s, its allright, ill just go home" - John Smith on his aircraft choice after graduation from advanced flight school 1943. Needless to say, they stuck him in a B-24. This quote is from "Wild Blue" by Stephen Ambrose, author of Band of Brothers.

06-16-2005, 06:41 AM
"Better to work towards an impossible good rather than a possible evil".


06-16-2005, 06:42 AM
You want me to back it up. I made it up myself for one of my characters in a story. There may be similar, but I definitely thought this one up...

06-16-2005, 06:57 AM
From the Film 'Magnum Force', " You work with Briggs on this one Callaghan or so help me I'll flop you lower that whale sh*t..... (Callaghan) speaking of whale sh*t Briggs, what have you turned up"

06-16-2005, 07:16 AM
My two all time favorite quotes:

1) "Imagination is more important than knowledge"...Albert Einstein

2) "Leave the gun, take the canolis"...Clemenza

TgD Thunderbolt56
06-16-2005, 07:24 AM
"Buzz" Beurling describing the lack of enthusiasm on the part of the attackers over Malta (exerpt from his book Malta Spitfire)

"...The Ities and Jerrys seemed more inclined to eat the "cold meat" and seemed to have little appetite for the "hot roast"..."

Referring to the later stages of the battle over Malta and the attackers' lack of desire to engage the high-flying Spitfire pilots who had more than proven their mettle.

Another one from the same book describing one of his good friends and a French pilot who winged with him. There was always a competition so to speak to see which element could get to altitude the quickest and spot the bombers.

"I see the bombairs!...I go there..." He was never seen again.


06-16-2005, 07:32 AM
"better the devil you know" Kylie Minogue

Still as true today as it ever was!!

06-16-2005, 07:35 AM
I have heard that in war
Haste can be
But have never seen
Delay that was

The Art of War


06-16-2005, 07:51 AM
"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift."
-Steve Prefontaine

"If I am still standing at the end of the race, hit me with a board and knock me down, because that means I didn't run hard enough"
-Steve Jones

"How does a kid from Coos Bay, with one leg longer than the other win races? All my life people have been telling me, 'You're too small Pre', 'You're not fast enough Pre', 'Give up your foolish dream Steve'. But they forgot something, I HAVE TO WIN."
-Steve Prefontaine

"Man imposes his own limitations, don't set any."
-Anthony Bailey

06-16-2005, 07:55 AM
My favourite quote about the Spitfire is still Gerald Stapleton's quote (a Spitfire pilot from 603 Squadron) whilst talking to a captured Me-109 pilot during the Battle of Britain;
"Do you know why the Spitfire is a better plane than the 109?"
"No" came the reply from the German
"Because any idiot can fly a Spitfire". http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif

06-16-2005, 07:57 AM
"If you're gonna shoot, shoot. Don't talk."

Tuco from The Good, The Bad & The Ugly gives advice to hollywood villians.

06-16-2005, 07:58 AM
"You're gonna need a bigger boat." Roy Scheider, Jaws.

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Michael Corleone, Godfather 2.

"That's some catch, that Catch 22." Doc Daneeka, Catch 22.

06-16-2005, 08:03 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by christopher65:
"better the devil you know" Kylie Minogue

But was it not Stock, Aitken & Waterman who wrote her songs http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

06-16-2005, 08:06 AM
these are exactly what i had in mind keep em comin guys, ill post some later on 2nite.

06-16-2005, 08:08 AM
thats true of the early years but hey with a **** like that who cares!!

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/heart.gifKYLIE Think ive lost the plot a bit!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

06-16-2005, 08:10 AM
don't worry chris I'll hold the drool bucket for you http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

06-16-2005, 08:16 AM
"In Soviet Army it takes more courage to retreat than to advance." Josif Stalin

"I don't know what kind of weapons will World War 3 be fought with, but World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones." Albert Einstein

06-16-2005, 08:22 AM
Darth Vader in the latest film Episode III :

" Noooooooooooooo !! " http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

06-16-2005, 08:23 AM
Quote in Sig!

06-16-2005, 08:31 AM
"Not only am I an online ace and award winning internet humorist, but I am also a good sport and wonderful human being." - RayBanJockey

06-16-2005, 08:44 AM
check the sig http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

its from the poem "To a Louse" by Robert Burns

also like

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time."

by Abe Lincoln

06-16-2005, 10:19 AM
Clint Eastwood in one of his police movies (can't remember which one.)

"...but anybody who paints a car that colour, should have his a$$ removed."

06-16-2005, 10:29 AM
'Two weeks'
Annon. (Not my favorite quote).

06-16-2005, 10:37 AM
"never in the field of human conflict, has so much been owed by so many, to so few". We all know that one, im sure Mr Churchill needs no introduction.

06-16-2005, 10:47 AM

'Once more onto the beach'

David Hasselhoff.


06-16-2005, 10:51 AM
"Killing for peace is like whoring for virginity"
Dont know who said it but i like it

Yoda- "Do or not do, there is no try"

06-16-2005, 10:53 AM
"Life's tough; tougher if you're stupid." John Wayne

"We have done so much, for so long, for so little, they think we can do everything, with nothing, forever." Anonymous

"Do not rejoice in his defeat, you men. For though the world has stood up and stopped the bastard, the ***** that bore him is in heat again." Bertolt Brecht

06-16-2005, 10:54 AM
"The air is the only place to be free of predjudice" -- Bessie Coleman 1892 - 1926

Link to her story (http://www.bessiecoleman.com/)


06-16-2005, 11:03 AM
The best quote ever!

"(There's) nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time".

From All You Need is Love by The Beetles. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

06-16-2005, 11:09 AM
'Airoplanes are alright why?'

By Catherine1995

06-16-2005, 11:15 AM
"If you can't fix it, Feck it, so no other Fecker can fix it"...... http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

"The strongest part of a chain is its weakest link"

"Alcohol... the cause and cure of all of lifes little problems"
Homer Simpson

06-16-2005, 11:19 AM
"Once I figured out the right gun convergence on my Hurri,I was shearing wings off like Martha Stewart in a garden."-Me

"She's sweeter than a candy cane at christmas time.But the fresh kind,not that stale sh** thats been hanging on the tree."-Me

"Oh yeah!Well your momma wears tube socks!Now put that in your pipe and smoke it"-Me (again http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif)

06-16-2005, 11:34 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by major_setback:
'Airoplanes are alright why?'

By Catherine1995 </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


06-16-2005, 11:44 AM
"If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off" - unknown.

06-16-2005, 11:57 AM
in the sig http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

06-16-2005, 11:58 AM
Who said this, "Never interupt your enemy when he is making a mistake"

06-16-2005, 12:09 PM
I bring you a warning... (http://members.cox.net/wasaf2000/thing16.wav)


06-16-2005, 12:19 PM
"I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means."
Oscar Wilde, upon being told the cost of an operation

Humour at its finest LOL! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

06-16-2005, 12:28 PM
" Nice lookin' Beaver "
- Unknown

Austin Powers: Wait Vanessa, I can explain. You see, I was looking for Dr. Evil when the Fembots came out and smoke started coming out of their jomblies. So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding.

06-16-2005, 12:46 PM
"We couldn't possibly accept your surrender, we haven't the facilities." Parachute officer at Arnhem in response to a request for terms by encircling German forces.

06-16-2005, 01:04 PM
read below

06-16-2005, 01:24 PM
"where the F*ck did he go?" famous last words

"NUTS!" BG McAuliffe's official answer to the Germans' demand to surrender at Bastogne.

We Roll tonight
To the Guitar Bite.
For those about to rock, we salute you. ACDC

The Effect of the Pangalactic Gargleblaster is like having your brains smashed by a slice of lemone wrapped around a large gold brick. Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy

Azrael:[asking for a cocktail] Get me a Holy Bartender.
Bartender: Never heard of it.
Azrael: He doesn't know how to make a Holy Bartender. You do, don't you Muse?
Serendipity: Don't...
Azrael: Ahh, ANYBODY? No? Well, I know how to make a Holy Bartender...
[Azrael pulls out a submachine gun, shoots the bartender, then laughs]
Azrael: Get it? Dogma

Were you to hear God's true voice, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode inside your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out. Dogma

Sex is a joke in heaven?
The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here, too. Dogma

I just love this movie http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

06-16-2005, 01:36 PM
Draft beer; not people. ~Author Unknown

Everyone's a pacifist between wars. It's like being a vegetarian between meals. ~Colman McCarthy

I think war might be God's way of teaching us geography. ~Paul Rodriguez

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ~Author Unknown

War is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy.
-- Bart Simpson

When I take action, I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive.
-- George W. Bush

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
-- Bertrand Russell

I do not know with what weapons World War 3 will be fought, but World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones.
-- Albert Einstein

"We are outnumbered, there is only one thing to do. We must attack!"
- Admiral Andrew Cunningham, 11 November 1940.
Before attacking the Italian fleet at Taranto

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a *****."
- Attributed to General Tommy Franks

"The Ruhr will not be a subject to a single bomb. If an enemy bomber reaches the Ruhr,
my name is not Herman Goering; you can call me Meier!"
- Reichsmarshal Herman Goering, 9 august 1939.

"You're planning to make a ship sail against wind and tide by lighting a fire below deck?? I don't have time to listen to that kind of nonsense!"
- Napoleon, about Robert Fultons plans to make a Steamboat.

"Just drive down that road, until you get blown up"
- General George Patton, about reconnaissance troops

"All right, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us...they can't get away this time"
- Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller, USMC

It takes a brave man to be a coward in the Red Army
- Joseph Stalin

06-16-2005, 01:42 PM
War is delightful to those who have not experienced it.

Desiderius Erasmu, Duch writer of the 16th century.

With that in mind, and knowing I have never seen a gun fired in anger, I happily and without scruples enjoy the beauty of seeing an enemy plane spin to the ground, out of control and trailing smoke.

06-16-2005, 01:52 PM
"While the lead is still flying there's still hope." - my defensive tactics and firearms instructor from the recruit academy.

I try to keep it in mind while I'm getting chased all over the sky by a gaggle of 190's like a hawk being harrassed by sparrows armed with tommyguns.

06-16-2005, 01:53 PM
Another one, a version of the much quoted statement of General William Tecumseh Sherman :

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded
who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation. War is hell."

06-16-2005, 01:54 PM
Playing golf, Sammy Davis Jnr was asked what his handicap was:

"I'm a black, one-eyed jew"

06-16-2005, 02:08 PM
"I never thought there could be a battle where everyone died." - British infantryman in a letter home written after the Battle of Waterloo

"The bomb racks under your fighters were not placed there by accident." - orders to the 8th Air Army (VVS) in Feb '45 to encourage the fighter squadrons to take part in close air support

Have not I myself known five hundred living soldiers sabred into crows' meat for a piece of glazed cotton, which they call their flag; which had you sold it at any market-cross, would not have brought above three groschen? - Thomas Carlyle

06-16-2005, 02:36 PM
Piece of Cake

06-16-2005, 03:13 PM
is that one true? I really dont believe it but it would be incredible if that actually happened.

06-16-2005, 03:18 PM
"She turned me into a newt. But I got better."

Monty Python on witch hunting.

06-16-2005, 03:44 PM
"The universe we observe has precisely the properties we would expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil and no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference... DNA neither cares nor knows. DNA just is. And we dance to its music"

-Richard Dawkins

"Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."

-Carl Sagan

06-16-2005, 03:53 PM

"A true Warrior does not go into Battle with hate for the people in front of him, a true Warrior goes into Battle with love for people behind him.


Gen. George Scott Patton-

"We're gonna grab em' by the nose, and kick em' in the @$$"

Bill Clinton-

"I did not have sex that women, ..."


06-16-2005, 03:56 PM
"Don't get mad, get even."

- Otter in Animal House

06-16-2005, 04:12 PM
"You gotta enjoy life while you can, because no one makes it out alive." - my Great Uncle Freddy, former USMC and veteran of Tarawa,Saipan,Tinian, Okinawa, and "a whole bunch of stupid little places only the Japanese would die for".

06-16-2005, 04:42 PM
Band of Brothers...."We're Paratroopers... we're supposed to be surrounded!"

Winston Churchill on Operation Sealion....."We are waiting for the long promised invasion... so are the fishes..."

06-16-2005, 04:58 PM
"The P-47 was more like a Cadillac...... and the Mustang was more like a Corvette."
Sam Rhodes Tuskegee Airman

"It is a time for martyrs now, and if I am to be one, it will be for the cause of brotherhood. That's the only thing that can save this country."
Malcolm X, February 19, 1965 (2 days before he was murdered by Nation of Islam followers).

"You can always tell a fighter pilot.... you just can't tell him very much."
Felix Kirkpatrick 332nd FG

"But when the aft tank was full, you had to be carefull. as if you were trying to balance the Encyclopedia Brittanica on the head of a pin. Dogfighting was ill advised in such circumstances. And worse if you pulled out of a dive with too much enthusiasm, and the plane tried to swap ends, the "G" forces could tear the wings off the Mustang."
Clarence "Bud" Anderson..... To Fly and Fight

06-16-2005, 05:03 PM
"Our description of the world around us says more about us than of the real world"

Think I got that right,,,,, some philosopher somewhere.

I still like

"I think, therefore I am"

06-16-2005, 07:30 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by danjama:
"never in the field of human conflict, has so much been owed by so many, to so few". We all know that one, im sure Mr Churchill needs no introduction. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

My favourite is Moggy Cattermole's response to this in Derick Robinson's novel 'Piece of Cake'...

"Somebody must have told him about our back pay."

06-16-2005, 07:34 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by TROOPER117:
Who said this, "Never interupt your enemy when he is making a mistake" </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

That was Napoleon

06-16-2005, 08:43 PM
On the Oscar Wilde theme - supposedly on his deathbed he said, looking around:

Either that wallpaper goes or I do.

06-16-2005, 10:47 PM
"When I hear the word culture, I reach for my pistol" -Hermann Georing

LADY ASTOR:"You sir, are drunk!"
WINSTON CHURCHILL: "You madam are ugly, at least in the morning I will be sober"

....and on another occasion....

LADY ASTOR: "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea!"
WINSTON CHURCHILL: "If you were my wife I'd drink it!"

It seems that Winnie & Lady Astor didn't get on very well.

06-17-2005, 12:07 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Nick_Toznost:
"When I hear the word culture, I reach for my pistol" -Hermann Georing

LADY ASTOR:"You sir, are drunk!"
WINSTON CHURCHILL: "You madam are ugly, at least in the morning I will be sober"

....and on another occasion....

LADY ASTOR: "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea!"
WINSTON CHURCHILL: "If you were my wife I'd drink it!"

It seems that Winnie & Lady Astor didn't get on very well. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL!! Nick, I had heard the first Churchill quote before but not the second one. Hilarious. Here's an obscure quote:

"Winston Churchill is better thought of in the U.S. and Canada than he is in England." -- British co-worker (who's catching a plane soon for a vacation in GB).

If this is true, can anyone explain why?

[anticipates smart@$$ remarks] Not why is the co-worker catching a plane but rather why is Churchill ill thought of in his home country? If it's true that is.

06-17-2005, 01:10 AM
"Hitler ist Deutschland und Deutschland ist Hitler" Hess

"Do Your Worst and We Will Do Our Best" Winston Churchill

"Give us the tools, and we will finish the job" Winston Churchill

"December 7, 1941. A Day that shall live in Infamy" Roosevelt

"We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old." W Churchill.... I really admire that guy

06-17-2005, 01:20 AM
Come on guys let's hear it for the big man! (waffen clapping)


06-17-2005, 01:23 AM
Churchill's not really ill thought of but here, but we did get to enjoy some of his government's domestic policies which included calling out troops during the General strike. Churchill was a conservative and an imperialist. He very much was into defending the status quo, which was a good thing when it came to the Nazi threat, but he could have done to be a little more progressive when it came to domestic politics.

06-17-2005, 01:31 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Old_Canuck:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Nick_Toznost:
"When I hear the word culture, I reach for my pistol" -Hermann Georing

LADY ASTOR:"You sir, are drunk!"
WINSTON CHURCHILL: "You madam are ugly, at least in the morning I will be sober"

....and on another occasion....

LADY ASTOR: "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea!"
WINSTON CHURCHILL: "If you were my wife I'd drink it!"

It seems that Winnie & Lady Astor didn't get on very well. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL!! Nick, I had heard the first Churchill quote before but not the second one. Hilarious. Here's an obscure quote:

"Winston Churchill is better thought of in the U.S. and Canada than he is in England." -- British co-worker (who's catching a plane soon for a vacation in GB).

If this is true, can anyone explain why?

[anticipates smart@$$ remarks] Not why is the co-worker catching a plane but rather why is Churchill ill thought of in his home country? If it's true that is. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

he was recently voted the greatest briton in a bbc poll. he's held in the absolute highest regard in the uk.

he did have some bad sides though and people do remember that.

06-17-2005, 02:15 AM
Marvin E. Martian: "Ew that rabbit makes me so mad! I'm going to shoot him with my uranium U-236 space exploder modulator"

Chicken Hawk: "I'm a chicken hawk see and I eats chickens"

From the movie "The Big Sleep" 1946
Carmen Sternwood (played by Martha Vickers)
Philip Marlowe (Humphrey Bogart)

Carmen: "Is he as cute as you?"
Bogart: "Nobody is"

same movie
Vivian Sternwood Rutledge (Lauren Bacall) tries to slap bogart in the face, he grabs her arm and says "I don't slap so well this time of the evening"

Treasure of the Sierra Madre

Mexican bandit says: "badges we don't need no stinking badges"

Johnny Cash: "I've been everywhere man"

06-17-2005, 04:06 AM
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
Me to free patch whiners. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

06-17-2005, 04:52 AM
Best break up line ever, courtesy of Homer Simpson (appologies if not exactly word for word)

"dear baby, welcome to dumpsville, population, you!" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Also Jake Grafton in flight of the intruder,

"fighter puke make movies, bomber pilots make history!"

06-17-2005, 04:59 AM
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance"

Union General John Sedgwick spoke these words just moments before being shot dead by a confederate sniper at Spotsylvania

"That old man...had my division massacred at Gettysburg!"
- George Pickett said these words to John S. Mosby shortly after paying Lee a visit in Richmond

"Well, it made you famous"
- Mosby's reply to Pickett

06-17-2005, 04:59 AM
"Every war when it comes, or before it comes, is represented not as a war but as an act of self-defense against a homicidal maniac."

George Orwell, whose prescience never ceases to amaze.

06-17-2005, 06:32 AM
Just about anything from Hot Shots! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif Part Deux was not as good, but had some good ones as well...

Admiral Benson: <span class="ev_code_RED">Thompson wasn't that good a pilot, anyway. He only had a small family. The kids are a pain in the ***. The wife's on the sauce. Hell, poor bastard's better off dead. What size shoes do you wear?</span>
Lt. Commander Block: <span class="ev_code_GREEN">A nine, sir.</span>
Admiral Benson: <span class="ev_code_RED">Good. It's settled then. We'll send Harley to the front.</span>

================================================== ================

Topper Harley: My whole life, all I've wanted to do is fly. Bomb stuff. Shoot people down.

================================================== ================

Topper Harley: Can you save him?
Doctor: Can't be sure. I'm not a very good doctor.

================================================== ================

Lt. Commander Block: Are you alright, sir?
Admiral Benson: Of course I'm alright! Why, what have you heard?

================================================== ================

Admiral Benson: Ah. I look out there on all you wonderful guys and I say to myself "What I wouldn't give to be 20 years younger... and a woman". You know, I've personally flown over 194 missions and I was shot down on every one. Come to think of it, I've never landed a plane in my life.

================================================== ================
(Walters is being tortured)

Rufshaad: <span class="ev_code_RED">I can see you're no stranger to pain.</span>
Col. Denton Walters: <span class="ev_code_GREEN">I've been married.</span>
Rufshaad: <span class="ev_code_RED">Ah.</span>
Col. Denton Walters: <span class="ev_code_GREEN">*Twice*.</span>
Rufshaad: <span class="ev_code_RED">Oy!</span>

================================================== ================

Topper Harley: I want to meet your parents and pat your dog...
Ramada Rodham Hayman: My parents are dead Topper, my dog ate them.

================================================== ================

Topper Harley: These men have a supreme vow of celibacy, like their fathers, and their fathers before them...

06-17-2005, 07:21 AM
"What manner of men are these? They are, in fact men apart - every man an emperor."
Monty talking about the Parachute Regiment.

06-17-2005, 08:27 AM
Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.
Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001), Arthur Dent in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Whenever you have exhausted all possible avenues in searching for a way to fix a problem there will suddenly appear one simple solution, shining and obvious to the first passer-by.

06-17-2005, 08:45 AM
Murphy's Military Laws.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
Friendly fire ain't.
The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

06-17-2005, 08:48 AM
'Me fail English? That's unpossible!' - one of the kids receiving his grades, in The Simpsons.


06-17-2005, 08:54 AM
The best and one of the most accurate quotes I ever read was by Oscar Wilde:

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes!"

06-17-2005, 10:00 AM
"Who told you that you were naked?" -God to Adam, Genesis 3:11 (history's first recorded straight line)

"Gee, the Alps sure are pretty!" - Ralph (Kidd) Hofer, on the first escort mission to Berlin, early March, 1944.

"Lieutenant, we don't have that part. The ship's Supply Department doesn't have that part, and contrary to what you may believe, we can't sh*t you that part. I wouldn't authorize one of my people sh*tting you that part even if he could. It would be painful, dangerous to his health, and generally unhygienic." -Senior Chief Bill Walker to the OE Division Officer, USS DAVIDSON, during WESTPAC, 1978-79.



06-17-2005, 11:38 AM
"I was born as a poor black child"
Steve Martin in The Jerk
Hilarous movie.

06-17-2005, 11:56 AM
Colonel to SAS trooper leading a group of soldiers: "Are you in charge? What rank are you?"
Trooper: "I'm a trooper, sir."
Colonel: "But troopers can't command troops."
Trooper: "Oh, I don't know sir, it's dead easy really. I do a day's work, send a signal to HQ, and then the next day I do it again."


06-17-2005, 12:55 PM
From some old Twilight Zone episode entitled "To Serve Man":

"It's a COOK book!!"

Perhaps someone that's been to West Point knows this one from Major Francis L. Dade:

"Have a good heart; our difficulties and dangers are over now..."

(Not long after he spoke those words, he and 107 other soldiers were ambushed and wiped out by the Seminoles near Bushnell, Florida)


06-17-2005, 01:02 PM
From batletech universe..

"If brute force does not solve your problem.... then you are not using enough!!"

06-17-2005, 01:44 PM
Apologies for the adult nature of the first:

"The f***ing f***er's f***ing f***ed"

- an un-named worker at my factory describing the problem to a fitter who'd come to fix his machine.

"If you're an alien, why have got a northern accent?"

"Lots of planets have a North"

- Dr Who.

06-17-2005, 02:31 PM
"Oooh, you're really F*cked now!"

- Eddie Vergeraxsson's family motto/warcry, from Island in the Sea of Time series, by S.M. Sterling.



06-17-2005, 05:17 PM
Spock!~ all

.Seawolf. ::<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">
I think the whole "Salute" thing is goofy and I chuckle everytime I see it. It's like treckies at a convention doing the Spock hand salute.lol </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

06-17-2005, 05:29 PM
"They seek him here,
They seek him there,
Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.
Is he in heaven,
Or is he in hell,
That ****ed elusive pimpernel."
- Scarlett Pimpernel

Ohh, first time I typed a word that got *'ed. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-surprised.gif

06-17-2005, 05:32 PM
p1ngu666's rather large sig is full of colourful comments.

Hunter82 ~ I want Sharks with laser beams attached to their freakin' heads in PF.


06-17-2005, 09:06 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by WOLFMondo:
.... [Churchhill] was recently voted the greatest briton in a bbc poll. he's held in the absolute highest regard in the uk.

he did have some bad sides though and people do remember that. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thanks WOLFMondo. Have searched for that poll (link below) and will email it with joy to that British co-worker. Have personally admired Churchill since I was a child -- not long ago http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Churchill Poll (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/2509465.stm)


06-17-2005, 09:15 PM
life is an Unfair game with Great Graphics

06-17-2005, 09:55 PM
"Must go faster"

Jeff Goldbloom in Jurassic Park AND Independence Day.

(Not to mention every 190 driver I get behind http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif )

06-17-2005, 10:27 PM
BadSight:: <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">life is an Unfair game with Great Graphics </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Hey that's good. But all the other players (the Artificial Intelligence) always Cheats in the game of Life. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/cry.gif

06-17-2005, 10:35 PM
Here's five bubbles...

Klaus -

German-speaking goldfish €" the result of a CIA experiment gone seriously wrong €" who has an unhealthy crush on Francine.


06-17-2005, 11:17 PM
"The only good human is a dead human" -- General Aldo (Planet of the Apes).

How famous is he? Think of it - even Churchill hasn't become an action figure yet http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/1072.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif.


06-17-2005, 11:20 PM
Colonel Sydney Rowell:

"We need a victory in the Pacific and a lot of poor b@stards have got to get killed to provide it"

06-18-2005, 04:56 AM
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

Ferris Bueller, in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off".

06-18-2005, 05:13 AM
"Preparing for number four attck....Number four attack - GO! Dammit, dammit! Change, change! Prepare for number three attack. Number three attack...Aargh!"

06-18-2005, 06:05 AM
"War gives the right of the conquerors to impose any conditions they please upon the vanquished"
"I came, I saw, I conquered"
"In war important events result from trivial causes"
"It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who
are willing to endure pain with patience."
"Men are nearly always willing to believe what they wish."
"Let the die be cast"
"And you, Brutus?"
Gaius Julius Caesar

06-18-2005, 06:49 AM
A funny one.

"Now, where were we? Read me back the last line.
'Read me back the last line,' read back the corporal.
'Not MY last line line, stupid!' the colonel shouted. 'Somebody else's.'
'Read me back the last line,' read back the corporal.
'That's MY last line again!', shrieked the colonel, turning purple with anger.
'Oh, no, sir,' corrected the corporal. "That's MY last line. I read it to you just a moment ago. Don't you remember, sir? It was only a moment ago.'"

And a sad one.

"Man was matter, that was Snowden's secret. Drop him out a window, and he'll fall. Set fire to him and he'll burn. Bury him and he'll rot like other kinds of garbage. The spirit gone, the man is garbage. That was Snowden's secret. Ripeness was all."

Book: Catch-22 http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif
Author: Joseph Heller (1923-1999).


06-18-2005, 07:30 AM
From an old episode of 12 O'Clock High:
Pilot - "Is our wing damaged?"
Co-Pilot - "If by damaged you mean missing...then yes, our wing is damaged."

Oscar Wilde:
"History teaches man that he learns nothing from his history."

Winston Churchill:
"I have taken more from alcohol than alcohol has taken from me."

Winston Churchill: (his last words, on his death bed)
"I'm bored with it all."

06-18-2005, 08:38 AM
"Bring on the newbies, but leave the 'noobs' behind." -- ImpStarDuece

06-18-2005, 11:10 AM
"The majority are too easily satisfied with mediocrity."



06-18-2005, 11:27 AM
"Empty heads are not truely empty, they are full of rubbish, hence the difficulty of forcing anything into them."

Forgot who said that, but the quotes staid with me for a few years.

06-18-2005, 05:21 PM
wow there is really some excellent quotes in here, thank you all for such a good response, i never thought id ever get this many replies...ever! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

06-18-2005, 06:38 PM
"Why be difficult? put some effort in and be impossible!"

and my alltime favourite:

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes!"

06-18-2005, 08:30 PM
€Love is fragile, but yet it is strong, strong enough to shatter a heart.
Dark P.

€Love is a illusion born from our solitude and loneliness.
Dark P.

yes, i am very proud of them http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

han freak solo
06-18-2005, 09:57 PM
"As they watched it the bomber seemed to swell up very gently with a soft whoomph that was audible far across the sky. It became a ball of burning petrol, oil and pyrotechnic compounds. The yellow datum marker, which should have marked the approach to Krefeld, burned brightly as it fell away, leaving thin trails of sparks. The fireball changed from red to light pink as its rising temperature enabled it to devour new substances from hydraulic fluid and human fat to engine components of manganese, vanadium, and copper. Finally even the airframe burned. Ten tons of magnesium alloy flared with a strange greenish blue light. It lit up the countryside beneath it like a slow flash of lightning and was gone. For a moment a cloud of dust illuminated by the searchlights floated in the sky and then even that disappeared." -from Bomber by Len Deighton

06-18-2005, 10:11 PM
"Hitler built a fortress around Europe. He just forgot to put a roof on it." - FDR

And, the classic scene from "Casino" when all the old school mob guys are deciding whether or not to have Joe Pesci's character killed..
guy 1 -"Hey, he's a good kid..he'd never rat"
guy 2 -"Yeah, I agree, he's a good kid"
guy 3 -"He won't rat"
guy 4 -"nah, he's a good kid"
guy 5 (they one with the most power "Yeah, but why take a chance?" http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

06-19-2005, 03:26 AM
"Only he is lost who gives himself up for lost"
- Hans Ulrich Rudel, Stuka Pilot

Knight's Cross with Golden Oakleaves, Swords & Diamonds

518+ Tanks
700 Trucks
150+ Flak and Artillery positions
9 Fighter/Ground Attack Aircraft
Hundreds of bridges, railway lines, bunkers, etc.
Battleship October Revolution, Cruiser Marat, and 70 landing craft

06-19-2005, 08:29 AM
The wise man speaks because he has something to say, the fool speaks because he has to say someting"


Kinda like these forums.

Also one i can't remember who by

"Life is not a rehearsal"

06-19-2005, 10:00 AM
"You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can pick your friend's nose"

06-19-2005, 10:12 AM
"It's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a fool then to open your mouth and remove all doubt"

Don't know who but it applies to many.

"If you fall and break your neck, don't come running to me."

Mom, she never went to medical school.

"In the end, all that remains, is hope."

Don't know who but it applies to my 4 year old pc.

"One single person, and this applies to the vast majority of people, show many signs of intellegence, while people in mass show no sign of intellegence. Without people in mass, all politicians would be unemployed."

Me, confused by this reality.


06-20-2005, 03:51 AM
Probaly apocryphal but good anyway,

Stalin on being asked about the discrepency in quality of the forces facing him.

"Quality is better than quantity"

Stalin " Ah yes comrade, but quantity has a quality all of its own!"

06-22-2005, 08:23 AM
I found some more Winston Churchill quotes:

On Neville Chamberlain...

"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last."

and smugly...

"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."


"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm"

Odd but true metaphor...

"Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room."

From a comedy sketch I once saw...

OSCAR WILDE(at US customs): "I have nothing to declare except my genius!"
CUSTOMS OFFICER: "So, er, nothing then."

Arthur Dent from HHGTTG by Douglas Adams

"Just when I thought life couldn't get any worse, I end up in a giant sewage-filled model of my own ear being shouted at by a bunch of demented bird-people"*

*This quote is how I remember it, it should be accurate give or take a word or two.

Still looking......

06-22-2005, 08:28 AM
check the sig. autor unknown

06-22-2005, 08:41 AM
"If you're going through hell, keep going."
-Winston Churchill

06-22-2005, 09:07 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by F0_Dark_P:
€Love is fragile, but yet it is strong, strong enough to shatter a heart.
Dark P.

€Love is a illusion born from our solitude and loneliness.
Dark P.


How true http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/cry.gif

06-22-2005, 09:08 AM
'If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,-
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.'

-Wilfred Owen

06-22-2005, 10:10 AM
"I'm not as think as you drunk i am" http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

06-22-2005, 10:21 AM
"The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can, and keep moving.
--Ulysses S. Grant"

"Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry"

06-22-2005, 10:39 AM
Take your pick. All money.

Jules Winnfield: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.

Vincent Vega: Yeah but bacon tastes good. Pork chops taste good.

Jules Winnfield: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy mother-fu**ers. Pigs sleep and root in sh**. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eating nothing that ain't got sense enough to disregard his own feces.

Vincent Vega: How 'bout a dog? Dog eats his own feces.

Jules Winnfield: I don't eat dog either.

Vincent Vega: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?

Jules Winnfield: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy, but they definitely dirty. But, dog's got personality; personality goes a long way.

Vincent Vega: Ahh, so by that rational, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?

Jules Winnfield: Well, we'd have to be talking one charming mother-fu**ing pig.

07-11-2005, 06:49 PM
Just thought I'd ressurect this thread because it's great.

07-11-2005, 07:08 PM
Woman who lie on spring in spring have offspring next spring.

07-11-2005, 07:28 PM
"oh, and by the way, I faked every orgasm" Frank Drebin

07-11-2005, 07:30 PM
"Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges.
I don't have to show you any stinking badges!"

--Gold Hat, as played by Alfonso Bedoya
"The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" (1948)

07-11-2005, 07:38 PM
"Ive got two zeros cornered over the island."

07-11-2005, 07:45 PM
"BIG BEAR....BIG...BIG...BEAR.....BEAR BIG.." JOHN CANNDY. in the movie "the great out doors"

or " I think were going to need a bigger boat" JAWS

07-11-2005, 08:02 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Nick_Toznost:
"oh, and by the way, I faked every orgasm" Frank Drebin </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


07-11-2005, 08:09 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Megile:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Nick_Toznost:
"oh, and by the way, I faked every orgasm" Frank Drebin </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


07-11-2005, 08:44 PM
Seen on a toilet wall in a pub....

First Author- "I f*cked your mother!"
Second Author- "Dad, go home. Your p*ssed"

07-11-2005, 10:13 PM
Waitress to my dad."Sir, are you all right? My dad, "No, I'm half left."
Kinda explains me...

'Dumb but Lucky, Confessions of a P-51 Fighter Pilot in World War II'. New book by Richard K. Curtis. A quote...
"One thing for sure; if war was he!!, then this was one he!! of a war."

"Wir greifen an!" (We attack!) 7 July 1943 Erich Hartmann

"I believe I've got it."On the day that he shot down five to bring his score to 23. Hans-Joachim Marseille. 24 September 1941

"Elbe One to Elbe Two--Hast du den Aufschlag gesehen?"(Did you se them crash?), Pottgen replies:Elbe TWo to Elbe One--Victor, Victor." radio conversation between Hans-Joachim Marseille and his wingman, Reiner Pottgen after downing a sixth Tomahawk in 11 minutes...

The 3 above from 'The Greatest Aces' by Edward H. Sims

07-11-2005, 11:14 PM
Full metal Jacket, the 'source' of some good citations
Legendary Gunnery Sgt Hartman's best-off (IMHO)

"Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fuc*ing walrus-looking piece of s*it. Get the fu*k off of my obstacle. Get the fu*k down off of my obstacle. Now. Move it. I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world. I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo."

"Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fuc*in' seconds, to wipe that stupid lookin' grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull f*ck you."

"Bull$hit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's as* and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress."

"What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?"

"Pyle, you climb obstacles like old people f*ck."

"Holy dog s*it. Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you s*ck d*cks?"

"You're so ugly you could be a modern art master piece."

"You had best un-f*ck yourself or I will unscrew your head and sh*t down your neck!"

That movie give me some real good laugh.

07-11-2005, 11:33 PM
That's very colorful...

07-11-2005, 11:41 PM
"This isn't a peace treaty, it's a twenty years armistice"

-Marshal Ferdinand Foch, Supreme Commander Allied Forces at the end of WW1, on the 1918 Versailles treaty.

"Of all enemies to public liberty, war is, perhaps, the most to be dreaded, because it comprises and develops the germ of every other. War is the parent of armies; from these proceed debts and taxes; and armies, and debts, and taxes are the known instruments for bringing the many under the dominion of the few"

-James Madison, primary author of the US Constitution.

Peace, like charity, begins at home.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

07-12-2005, 02:57 AM
Said by a friend of mine in a different forum:

"The reason men like women in PVC and leather is the smell of new car"

And two Norwegian proverbs:

"The Devil holds his hand over his own"

"If the snow crust can hold a man at Midsummer Day, it€ll be a late spring."

07-12-2005, 03:07 AM
Sorry about no caps!
should it be my good fortune to be engaged in another action, i shall take care that only one gramaphone is taken into the turret. we had one in the gunhouse and one in the working-chamber and during every lull these two were playing simultaneously each with a different record. the result was one of the real horrors of war.

royal navy turret officer, hms indomitable, jutland, 1916

no.5 commando was very anxious to be chums with lord glasgow, so they offered to blow up an old tree stump for him and he was very grateful and he said don't spoil the plantation of very young trees near it because that is the apple of my eye and they said no of course not we can blow a tree down so that it falls on a sixpence and lord glasgow said goodness you are clever and he asked them all to luncheon for the great explosion. so col durnford-slater dso said to his subaltern, have you put enough explosive in the tree. yes, sir, 75 lb. is that enough? yes sir I worked it out by mathematics it is exactly right. well better put a bit more. very good sir. and when col d slater dso had had his port he sent for the subaltern and said subaltern better put a bit more explosive in that tree. I don't want to disappoint lord glasgow. very good sir.
then they all went out to see the explosion and col d slater dso said you will see that tree fall flat at just that angle where it will hurt no young trees and lord glasgow said goodness you are clever. so soon they lit the fuse and waited for the explosion and presently the tree instead of falling quietly sideways, rose 50 feet into the air taking with it a half acre of soil and the whole of the young plantation. And the subaltern said sir, i made a mistake, it should have been 7.5 lb not 75. lord glasgow was so upset he walked in dead silence back to his castle and when they came to the turn of the drive in sight of his castle what should they find but that every pane of glass in the building was broken. so lord glasgow gave a little cry and ran to hide his emotion in the lavatory and there when he pulled the plug the entire ceiling, loosened by the explosion, fell on his head. this is quite true.

evelyn waugh to his wife, 31 may 1942

no one seeks out the truck to go back to camp until the pubs close up shop at ten and turn their customers out into the foggy, pitch-black night.

you can see nothing as you wait at the rear of the truck in the phenomenal quiet that pervades during a blackout even in a city. here, there isn't even a chuckling diesel bus motor idling at a nearby bus stop to break the stillness. and apart from a faint tinkle of female laughter now and then, and distant "cheerio"s as friends part, there is only the rustle of dozens of shuffling feet making their way home along nearby narrow streets.

then one voice - a distinctly welsh high-pitched tenor - begins to sing: "we'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when - but I know we'll meet again some sunny day..."

instantly, on all sides, voices take up the song in full-throated harmony, in a manner reminiscent of a well-drilled mass choir at a song festival. the sound grows and swells until at last it seems the whole town is reverberating with song.

it is an experience so splendid, that if you live to be a hundred you will not likely forget this earnest, beautiful rendition of a lovely song by random choristers bursting forth spontaneously in the night.

could this happen anywhere in the world but here in wales? tears well up in your eyes as you recall the stories told you this very afternoon by an older resident - stories of days of poverty before the war when these people of merthyr tydfil suffered the worse hardship from unemployment in all of britain.

there must be more than one way to measure wealth.

sunday night in wales 1942, 4th canadian artillery

george g. blackburn, where the hell are the guns

note: the unemployment rate referred to was 68%

life is short. art is long. opportunity is brief. experiment is dangerous. judgement is difficult.

hippokrates, aphorisms
the first cup is to health, the second to love and pleasure, the third to sleep, the fourth to violence, the fifth to uproar, the sixth to drunken revel, the seventh to black eyes, the eighth to the summoner, the ninth to bile and the tenth to madness and throwing chairs around.

euboulos, on wine
to plunder, to slaughter, to steal, these things they misname empire, and where they make a wilderness, they call it 'peace.'

the study of beauty is a duel in which the artist shrieks with terror before being overcome.


07-12-2005, 08:01 AM
"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"I get no repect."
Rodney Dangerfield

07-12-2005, 01:41 PM
thanks Nick, im glad u like the thread i started. I had no idea it would be this popular! Glad you all replied, i appreciate it and ive read every single one, top stuff!

07-12-2005, 02:00 PM
Some excellent 80's movie quotes. I'm feeling nostalgic. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

"If it bleeds, we can kill it."

"What's the matter? The CIA got you pushing too many pencils?"

"If he dies, he dies"

07-12-2005, 02:09 PM
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity."

- Albert Einstein

07-12-2005, 02:47 PM
French prime minister Daladier when riding in an open car through the steets of Paris, after return from Munich, looking at crowd of enthusiastic people who just heard that "peace was saved":


Marshall Georgiy Zhukov to gen. Eisenhower:

"When our infantry encounters a minefield, they advance like there was no minefield."

Sparta's answer to Philip II demanding they joined Filip dominated League of Corinth after battle of Charonea "for i just cant let you be out of the League":

"You can do nothing else but let us die for our homeland"

Sparta's answer to Philip II demanding they gave up, after he conquered entire country apart from capitol, and threatening he would kill all men and sell women and children as slaves: (quite distinctive reply in history of diplomacy http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif)


"Violence never was a solution"
Ghengis Khan

07-12-2005, 03:10 PM
"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot. But don't let that fool you. He really IS an idiot."

- Groucho Marx

07-12-2005, 03:39 PM
Some time before another October Revolution anniversary, Polish city walls were covered with large posters: the picture was Lenin giving speech to the crowd of workers, it said below "LENIN IN OCTOBER"

someone wrote underneath:

"and cats - in march"

07-13-2005, 01:12 AM
"If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." -Brooke Shields

07-13-2005, 02:28 AM
'A true general first seeks victory, then battle.'

Sun Tzu, the art of war, of course

'If you can't stand the heat, find a fridge!'

Yogi Bear

07-13-2005, 02:43 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by CWH1089:
"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
Monty Python and the Holy Grail

'They could have been brought here by swallows..'

'Now look here fellow, that's ridiculous, it's just a matter of air speed velocity. A two ounce bird couldn't possibly carry a two pound coconut!'

'Well, an African swallow could.'

'Oh yeah, an African swallow could, but they're not migrational'

(the same conversation, a bit later on..'

07-13-2005, 02:49 AM
Quote: "People who post here are stupid."
Unknown author. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

07-13-2005, 02:52 AM
'Now look here fellow, strange women lying in lakes in the middle of the night distributing swords is NOT a good basis for sovereignity'

Taken from a discussion between two peasants and King Arthur in 'the search for the Holy Grail' from Monty Python

07-13-2005, 03:18 AM
"Bugger Bognor." - King George V's last words which were subsequently reported by the ever loyal Times of London as "how is the empire?"

07-13-2005, 05:39 AM
"Bring out your dead!" (bong)
"Bring out your dead!" (bong)

"I feel happy!"
"I feel happy!"

More Python

07-13-2005, 06:42 AM
'Post your quotes here or else!' --- Danjama


han freak solo
07-13-2005, 06:52 AM
"Mid-air head-on collisions are brutally terminal." - Han Freak Solo http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

07-13-2005, 08:27 AM
Here's some more Douglas Adams quotes from HHGTTG.

"It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear."

" Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws"

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job"

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't"

and some of my favourite George Dubya Bush quotes:

"The French don't have a word for entrepreneur"

"I think we agree, the past is over"

"You work three jobs? €¦ Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." €" to a divorced mother of three.

"It's a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life."

"Justice ought to be fair."

"I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft."

"I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. You're doing a heck of a job. You cut your teeth here, right? That's where you started practicing? That's good. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."

"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."

"Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling."

"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator."

07-13-2005, 09:44 AM
A day without wine is a day without sunshine (old french proverb)

A clever man has the intelligence to find his way out of a problem that a wise man would not have got into. (Old Chinese proverb)

I've got a bad feeling about this (old Star Wars proverb)

Smeg! (Old Red Dwarf proverb)

Feck! (Old Father Ted proverb)

Shot down in flames! Ain't it a shame! (AC/DC)

Smoke too many Lamberts did he! (Yoda in an interview in Maxim about where Darth went wrong)

14 million dollars isn't money - it a motive with a universal adapter attached (James Caan in Way of the Gun)

He...llo (Leslie Philips - too many occasions but it cracks me every time)

Flash, Flash, I love you but we only have 14h to save the Universe!

and too many others to mention...

07-13-2005, 10:28 AM
Ooh. Bushisms, my favourite. The follows is buy George Dubya...

"The relations with, uhh €" Europe are important relations, and they've, uhh €" because, we do share values. And, they're universal values, they're not American values or, you know €" European values, they're universal values. And those values €" uhh €" being universal, ought to be applied everywhere."

"It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way."

"I want to thank you for the importance that you've shown for education and literacy."

"I'm not the expert on how the Iraqi people think, because I live in America, where it's nice and safe and secure."

"I want to thank the astronauts who are with us, the courageous spacial entrepreneurs who set such a wonderful example for the young of our country."

"I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?'"

You betcha' George.

07-13-2005, 04:49 PM
'If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving' Anon

'Dyslexia rules, KO!' Anon

Aussie MP to Prime Minister Menzies- 'Go on then, tell us everything you know. It shouldnt take long'
Menzies retort- 'I'll tell everyone what we both know, it wont take any longer'.

07-13-2005, 05:47 PM
John Milton: The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven.

Wallace Stegner: Most things break, including hearts. The lessons of life amount not to wisdom, but to scar tissue and callus.

Roman Tombstone:-

Do not pass by my epitaph, traveler.
But having stopped, listen and learn, then go your way.
There is no boat in Hades, no ferryman Charon,
No caretaker Aiakos, no dog Cerberus.
All we who are dead below
Have become bones and ashes, but nothing else.
I have spoken to you honestly, go on, traveler,
Lest even while dead I seem loquacious to you.

Oscar Levant: There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Robert Orben: To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Laurence J. Peter: Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.

Bill Hicks:-
I have been a comedian for a long time, so forgive me while I plaster on a fake smile and plough through this sh1t one more time.

Positive drugs News story - Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we're the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather.

I was talking about bl0wjobs and a woman in the audience shouted "You ever tried it?" I said "Yeah.... Almost broke my back..."

07-14-2005, 04:35 PM
From Sir Patrick Moore, one of my heroes, famous British astronomer and xylophonist.

On the subject of horoscopes:

"Absolute complete and utter rubbish, in fact since this tosh was first invented the heavens have moved to such an extent that there are 2 new star signs, absolute rubbish"

08-01-2005, 05:59 AM
since were bringing back old posts, heres a BUMP for me.

08-01-2005, 06:20 AM
One of my favorite wartime quotes was made by a 101st Airborne trooper as the Germans cut the roads and isolated Bastogne during the Battle of the Buldge.

"Looks like the Krauts have us surrounded...The poor bastards"

09-23-2005, 03:36 PM
"When you wake up, you realise...Thats not the bird i thought it was, shes fu*kin mingin, and you know, the fuc*ers only pretendin to be asleep caus she knows, youre definately not the bloke she thought u was last night when she made you Cheese and Toast with lea and perrins, then proceeded to $hag you on the mantle piece" - Kelly Jones

09-23-2005, 04:33 PM
I saw this one on a bumpersticker

"Don´t steel, the goverment dosen´t like competition"
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif
MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

09-23-2005, 05:07 PM
Moe: What kind of a fool do you think I am?

Curly: Why is there more than one kind?

09-23-2005, 05:27 PM
You can pretend to be serious; you can€t
pretend to be witty.

I would post a bunch of george carlin quotes but the burgerking cardboard cutout mod crowns will ban.

09-23-2005, 06:29 PM
The more he talked about honor, the faster we counted our spoons.

09-24-2005, 12:33 AM
"For an evil genius, Drakken is pretty stupid. *pause* Oh come on! He steals a 3 billion dollar technology and just gives it away with a burrito?? And yet he ditches the bendy straws?? This man does not know how to run a fast food business!"
Ron Stoppable, So the Drama

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

09-24-2005, 01:25 AM
OK, great thread....

Here's a few of my fave's:

If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make
something out of you.
-- Muhammad Ali

"There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home."
--Ken Olson, President of DEC, World Future Society Convention, 1977

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired
signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not
fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not
spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the
genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way
of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is
humanity hanging on a cross of iron.
-- Dwight Eisenhower, April 16, 1953

Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom:
No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats --
approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.

"[T]he real measure of a Man is what he does when no one else is looking:
when he is guided by his own sense of right and wrong."
-Ted Hoffman, "Murder One", ABC

I didn't understand this at first, but YOUR CONVINCING USE
-- J. Nairn

If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.
--Chinese Curse

Always buy a good bed and a good pair of shoes.
If you're not in one, you're in the other.
-- Gloria Hunniford

Evil isn't a cosmological riddle, only just selfish human behavior.
-- Joyce Carol Gates

"At this point you just wind up the B.S. doll and see what come out!"
-- Merritt Gardner (Goshen College math prof.) on what to do when you
get stumped in a proof

Russel W.: Ahhh! Mithess wahner, ah gah ih ah ma tahn!!!
Mrs. Wagner: (without looking up from her grade book) Shut up, Russel.
(Russel chewed on an erasable pen too much and it blew up in his mouth.)

No one beneath you can offend you. No one your equal would.
-- Jan L. Wells

* _54th_Speeder *

09-24-2005, 01:38 AM
Can't remember who has this quote in thier sig but it's one of my favs.

<span class="ev_code_BLACK">It is hard to soar like an eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys</span>

09-24-2005, 03:19 AM
"There are no desperate situations, only desperate people" - Heinz Guderian

09-24-2005, 03:43 AM
One of my favourite quotes:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">
Date: 23 Mar 2006
Fetish supplies Ltd (Margate)

Qty : 3
Item: Top hat (large)
Stck: 4382823/43
Unit: 14.33
Totl: 42.99

Qty : 1
Item: Bouncy castle with air pump
Stck: 4242-242-4343
Unit: 250.00
Totl: 250.00

Qty : 7
Item: Baked beans, 50 ltr drum
Stck: 34/43-BB
Unit: 17.32
Totl: 121.24

SubT: 414.23
VAT : 51.27

Totl: 465.50

Once order has been placed, cancellation will result in 20% admin free.

Thank you for your custom


09-24-2005, 03:57 AM
"That's the 'oo. This is a noise!"

Keith Moon to irate hotel manager who had told him to keep the noise from his stereo down - immediately before blowing another hotel door off it's hinges.

09-24-2005, 04:42 AM
I often quote others but this time I quote myself.

"If U cant do what U want, U have to want what U can."

It works better in swedish though where there is some more melancholy.

"Om man ej kan vad man vill, f¥r man vilja vad man kan."

Strangely this thought became my forced way of life. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif


09-24-2005, 05:20 AM
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.

09-24-2005, 05:23 AM
"I think I'll have to reformat." HH Quazi.

09-24-2005, 06:36 AM
"Can´t do the order, this used to be my place, MINE. Im losing everything I ever cared about"
Ron stoppable, So the Drama

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

09-24-2005, 07:15 AM
I liked "Oleg giveth some,Oleg takes some" by Badsight. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

09-24-2005, 07:59 AM
Reasonable men adapt themselves to thier surroundings.

Therefore; all progress is due to unreasonable men.

G.B. Shaw

09-24-2005, 08:03 AM
<span class="ev_code_RED">"What the hell would I want to go to a Place like Mombassa for? I can just see myself in a boiling pot of water with all those natives dancing around me!"</span> - The mayor of Toronto after being offered a trip to Mombassa , for a talk with the Olympic Comitee of Africa, to solicit support for Toronto holding the 2008 games. he turned it down!

Not my favourite quote as its slightly nasty...but I found it funny anyway! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

09-24-2005, 08:31 AM
Peter O'Toole playing King Henry IV in the movie The Lion In Winter.

"I've had women in my life. I could have ruled the world, but I've had women in my life!"

From the book, Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance.

"Ah, tequila! That spiraling vulture that rapes the ascending souls of dying virgins!"

09-24-2005, 08:41 AM
"Let the beating of the blades and the beating of your heart merge together, you and the mixer become one"
Ron Stoppable, Two to Tutor

"We gave our souls to God, Our hearts to Poland, Our bodies to the British soil."

humans are the stupidest creature on earth, and some are stupider than others"
My own

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

09-24-2005, 08:46 AM
Theres some excellent quotes here, keepem comin please, maybe when i get 200 posts here it shud get made a sticky http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/icon_twisted.gif

09-24-2005, 09:04 AM
Homer Simpson getting ready to make an announcement - "If i could say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker."

T-Shirt worn by an overweight co-worker of mine that says " I beat anorexia"

09-24-2005, 09:43 AM
"The first time I ever saw a jet, I shot it down."
-Chuck Yeager

"I had my mechanics remove the gunsight because I didn't need it. That's how close you must get to ensure a kill, and that's how close I got."
-Gottfried P. Dulias

09-24-2005, 09:48 AM
"The first time I ever saw a jet, I shot it down."
-Chuck Yeager

Thats ****ing cool!

09-24-2005, 10:12 AM
"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer."
Homer Simpson.

"A woman drove me to drink, and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her."
WC Fields

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry."
Robert Benchley.

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
Dave Barry.

"Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol."
NF Simpson.

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Henny Youngman.

"I drink to make other people interesting."
George Jean Nathan.

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
Humprey Bogart.

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day."
Dean Martin.

"If wine, women and song are too much for you...give up singing."

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Joe E Lewis.

"I have taken more from alcohol than alcohol has taken from me."
Winston Churchill.

"The groom may have a drinking problem. Yesterday he blew 2.5% on a police breathalyzer test and he hadn't had a drink in four days!"
Me. (making fun of the groom at a wedding reception)

09-24-2005, 11:08 AM
a German figher pilot ace teaching a class of pilots.

"The Bf109 could compare with the p51, but the p51 could fight much longer.... The tactics how to bring a p47 down? just shoot it."

09-24-2005, 11:17 AM
"Can't talk, gotta shoot." ~ Bud Anderson


09-24-2005, 11:23 AM
Logic seldom prevails.
W Wydler

09-24-2005, 11:48 AM
A friend of mine in a discussion on the blessings of life:

The reason we men like girls in rubber and leather is that they smell like new cars.

09-24-2005, 02:02 PM
"Saying what we think gives us a wider conversational range than saying what we know."

- Cullen Hightower

09-24-2005, 02:08 PM
"Half a wit is worse than none"

09-24-2005, 04:24 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by GR142_Astro:
"Can't talk, gotta shoot." ~ Bud Anderson

http://www.oldgloryprints.com/CANT_TALK_GOTTA_SHOOT.jpg </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Dan Zoernig is the greatest aviation artist alive today!
Have you seen this one?
It's called, "Gunfight in the channel"


09-24-2005, 04:50 PM
The first three are from the movie "The Long Kiss Goodnight"

Mitch: "When I first met you, you were all 'Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins!' Now you walk into a bar, and ten minutes later, sailors come running out. What up with that?"

Charlie: "I got myself out of Beruit, I think I can get out of New Jersey."
Mitch: "Oh yeah? Others have tried and failed. The entire population in fact."

Thug: "And this is a big gun."
Mitch: "This ain't no ham on rye pal."
Charlie: "What the h*ll do you think you're doing?"
Mitch: "Saving your a**. I would have been here sooner, but I was thinking up that 'ham on rye' line."

Buckaroo Banzai: "Hey, hey. Don't be mean. We don't need to be mean. 'Cause no matter where you go.... there you are."

Unknown: "The difference between Communism and Captialism is that in Communism, man exploits his fellow man, while in Capitalism, it's just the opposite."

Carl Sagan: "Astrology is based on the belief that the positions of the stars and planets at the time of my birth had a profound affect on my subsequent life. But I was born in a hospital, in a room with no windows, so no light or radiation from these bodies could reach me. This leaves gravity. But the gravitational attraction of the Obstetrician was infinitely greater than any of the planets or stars. The planets are a lot bigger, but the Obstetrician was MUCH closer."

"Sledge": "A poor plan, violently executed, is better than no plan at all."

09-24-2005, 09:31 PM
"If I had all the money I'd spent on drink, I'd spend it all on drink"

Vivian Stanshall

09-25-2005, 02:52 AM
Hahaha you were all "Zap Zap!" and i was like "Pow pow!" and now your all "Boohoo!"
Evil Ron Stoppable, Bad Boy

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

09-25-2005, 03:36 AM
Best you take a long run up at it.
Said by my brother to a kayaker who wanted to take an 18 ft waterfall in North Wales, could be applied to just about anything with little chance of a good outcome.

09-25-2005, 04:33 AM
"The things you own, end up owning you" - Tyler, from the film Fight Club.

09-25-2005, 04:42 AM
a woman screams to Churchill "if i were married to you i would put poison in your tea!"
Churchill replies "if i were married to you i would drink it"

09-25-2005, 06:31 AM
Who is Ron Stoppable? Maybe I've been in Japan too long.
Some great quotes in here. I like the one above
" A poor plan, violently executed, is better than no plan at all."

09-25-2005, 07:12 AM
This is Ron Stoppable

We're not afraid of any attack.
I say "Yo, KP, we've got your back!"
Ron Stoppabel & Rufus, Naked Mole Rap

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

09-25-2005, 07:27 AM
Keep em coming! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

09-25-2005, 09:09 AM
I think the best has to come from Rumsfeld. He's got a never ending supply.
As you know, you go to war with the Army you have. They're not the Army you might want or wish to have at a later time.

Beware when any idea is promoted primarily because it is "bold, exciting, innovative, and new." There are many ideas that are "bold, exciting, innovative and new," but also foolish.

Control your time. If you're working off your in-box, you're working off the priorities of others. Be sure the staff is working on what you move to them from the President, or the President will be reacting, not leading.

Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war.

Don't be a bottleneck. If a matter is not a decision for the President or you, delegate it. Force responsibility down and out. Find problem areas, add structure and delegate. The pressure is to do the reverse. Resist it.

Don't say "the White House wants." Buildings can't want.

From where you sit, the White House may look as untidy as the inside of a stomach. As is said of the legislative process, sausage-making and policy-making shouldn't be seen close-up. Don't let that panic you. Things may be going better than they look from the inside.

I can't tell you if the use of force in Iraq today will last five days, five weeks or five months, but it won't last any longer than that.

I'm not into this detail stuff. I'm more concepty.

If a prospective Presidential approach can't be explained clearly enough to be understood well, it probably hasn't been thought through well enough. If not well understood by the American people, it probably won't "sail" anyway. Send it back for further thought.

If in doubt, don't. If still in doubt, do what's right.

If in doubt, move decisions up to the President.

If the staff lacks policy guidance against which to test decisions, their decisions will be random.

If you develop rules, never have more than ten.

In politics, every day is filled with numerous opportunities for serious error. Enjoy it.

Inspectors do not have the duty or the ability to uncover terrible weapons hidden in a vast country. The responsibility of inspectors is simply to confirm evidence of voluntary and total disarmament. Saddam Hussein has the responsibility to provide that evidence, as directed, and in full.

It is very difficult to spend "federal (the taxpayers') dollars" so that the intended result is achieved.

Keep your sense of humor. As General Joe Stillwell said, "The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind."

Know that the amount of criticism you receive may correlate somewhat to the amount of publicity you receive.

Learn to say "I don't know." If used when appropriate, it will be often.

Look for what's missing. Many advisors can tell a President how to improve what's proposed or what's gone amiss. Few are able to see what isn't there.

Move decisions out to the Cabinet and agencies. Strengthen them by moving responsibility, authority, and accountability their direction.

One of your tasks is to separate the "personal" from the "substantive." The two can become confused, especially if someone rubs the President wrong.

Our task, your task... is to try to connect the dots before something happens. People say, 'Well, where's the smoking gun?' Well, we don't want to see a smoking gun from a weapon of mass destruction.

Plan backwards as well as forward. Set objectives and trace back to see how to achieve them. You may find that no path can get you there. Plan forward to see where your steps will take you, which may not be clear or intuitive.

Reduce the layers of management. They put distance between the top of an organization and the customers.

Secretary Powell and I agree on every single issue that has ever been before this administration except for those instances where Colin's still learning.

The Federal Government should be the last resort, not the first. Ask if a potential program is truly a federal responsibility or whether it can better be handled privately, by voluntary organizations, or by local or state governments.

The way to do well is to do well.

Here's my alltime favorite.!

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know



09-27-2005, 12:24 PM
"All way that works are good ways"
It pop up in my head today http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

"Let the beating of the blades and the beating of your heart merge together, you and the mixer become one."
Ron Stoppable, Two To Tutor

"He who controls the remote, controls the future."
Ron Stoppable, Oh Boyz

"Lather, Rinse And Obey! It's Time To Was Your hair Today"
Dr.Drakken, Rappin Drakken

"An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind"

"In Soviet Army it takes more courage to retreat than to advance."
Josef Stalin

"Life is dangerus no one has survived it"

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

09-27-2005, 01:10 PM
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
--Benjamin Franklin

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif How true...

09-27-2005, 01:43 PM
Stalin :A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic

From memory and probably wrong

09-27-2005, 05:17 PM
hehe I'll see that quote and raise you:

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

10-01-2005, 08:50 AM
"There is still one power left, the power of imagination. Yeah your right I got nothing."
Ron Stoppable, Go Team Go

"That would be so cool if it wasn't gonna hurt us."
Ron Stoppable, Crush

"Do you believe in love at first sight? Cause I'll walk by again, seriously."
Motor Ed, Steal Wheels

"An open mind is like a fortress with it´s gate unbarred and unguarded"
Brother liberian Isador Akios Blood Ravens 3th company, WarHammer 40.000 Dawn of War

"You must know your enemy to defeat them"
Captain Gabriel Angelos Blood Ravens 3th company, WarHammer 40.000 Dawn of War

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

10-01-2005, 09:44 AM
In sig...and

Capt. Cole - Brothers In Arms - "If It Moves, Shoot It! If It Screams If German, Shoot It Again!"

Saving Private Ryan , On The Beach :

Sgt. Horvath - "Captin, If Your Mother Saw You Do That She'd Be Very Upset."

Capt. Miller - "I Though You Were My Mother."

10-01-2005, 09:53 AM
Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things "Goerge Carlin" I think

A dog that $hits fast dont $hit long "My Dad"

10-01-2005, 11:42 AM
Admiral Halsey on the bridge of his flagship in Pearl Harbour:"Once this is over, japanese will be only talked in hell!"

Stalin:"Loyalty is a disease of the dogs"

10-01-2005, 02:46 PM
Okay Trollis, just to show that you're not the only Kim Possible fan:

Ron Stoppable: "Killer zombie snowmen... somehow I always knew that's what would get me."

and "...Place Of Evil!" (referring to "Camp Wannaweep")

And from the movie "1776"

John Adams (William Daniels): "Franklin did this, Franklin did that, Franklin did some other d@mn thing. Franklin smote the ground, and up sprang George Washington, fully grown, and on his horse. Franklin then electrified Washington with his miraculous lightning rod, and the three of them, Franklin, Washington and the horse, conducted the entire Revolution single-handed."
Benjamin Franklin (Howard Da Silva): "I like it."

Benjamin Franklin: "Mr. Dickinson, calling an American an Englishman is like calling an Ox a Bull. He's thankful for the title, but would much rather have restored to him what was rightfully his in the first place."

John Dickinson (Donald Madden): "When did you first notice they were missing?"

More 1776 quotes here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068156/quotes

10-01-2005, 04:47 PM
All war is based on deception.

~Sun Tzu

10-01-2005, 05:44 PM
I know this post is pretty ancient but what the heck. Just finished reading "Inside the third reich" by Albert Speer and he recalls a conversation between Goering and General Galland about the ability of US mustangs having the range to fly into Germany. Goering in denial declares "what must have happened is that they were shot down much further to the west. I mean, if they were very high when they were shot down they could have glided quite a distance before they crashed"
Galland replies "Glided to the east sir? If my plane were shot up..."................


10-01-2005, 05:58 PM
'Are you gona eat that ?' - tHeBaLrOgRoCkS

10-02-2005, 01:10 PM
"Women and trucks, allways needed never appreciate"
German trucker

"All artist make something good during there time in the ramplights"
My own

"Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten"
Lilo & Stitch

"Pessimists are right more often than not, and when they are wrong they are pleased to be so"
George F. Will, Newsweek

"Was it over when the GERMANS bombed Pearl Harbour...No!...It ain't over until we say it is"
John Belushi (Animal House)

"Breaking up is SOOO not easy!"
Ron Stoppable, Emotion Sickness

Ron Stoppable, Emotion Sickness

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

10-02-2005, 05:57 PM
I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Groucho Marx

10-02-2005, 06:33 PM
Something from the board...

.Seawolf. <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">
I think the whole "Salute" thing is goofy and I chuckle everytime I see it.
It's like treckies at a convention doing the Spock hand salute. lol </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Spock! All

10-02-2005, 08:06 PM
"why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?..after all, fiction has to make sense"

sam clemens

10-03-2005, 01:19 AM
Unknown - "Perfect paranoia is perfect awareness".

Mr.Blonde - "Are you gonna bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite".

Bad Guy - "Just once I would like to hear you scream in pain".

Good Guy (Bruce Willis) - "Play some rap music".

Oh and everything the drill instructor from "Full Metal Jacket" says.

10-03-2005, 03:08 AM
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts"..

Bertrand Russell

10-03-2005, 03:41 AM
"if Dyslexia involve have trouble being able to spell and write why did they give it such a complicated name"

Dyslexic scottish friend ^_^

10-03-2005, 05:38 AM
I agree Kenji......

oh yeah, a quote...."thats what I thought I said".....Curly. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/53.gif

10-03-2005, 05:48 AM
"This is my kind of place. You have to shoot down Japs to land on your own field."

- Thomas B. McGuire -

10-03-2005, 01:40 PM
"I'm a sucker for the classics"
Ron Stoppable, A Sitch In Time

"It´s better to die for your empereor than live for your self"
Dreadnought warrior WarHammer 40.000 Dawn of War

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

10-03-2005, 03:55 PM
Wots normal then?

Jimmy, Quadrophenia

10-03-2005, 03:58 PM
'she turned me into a newt but I got better.'

It's happened to me a lot.

10-04-2005, 05:27 AM
Not sure if this has been already posted but...

'the first time i saw a jet i shot it down' Chuck Yeager

'the first time i saw chuck yeager I shot him down' unknown. potentially apocryphal!

'give me some sugar, baby' Bruce Campbell

'see this? this is my BOOMSTICK!' Bruce Campbell

10-04-2005, 01:27 PM
"The health inspector shut us down when he saw a live rodent, you know, serving the food..."
Ron Stoppable, Two to Tutor

"Let the beating of the blades and the beating of your heart merge together, you and the mixer become one."
Ron Stoppable, Two to Tutor

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

10-04-2005, 07:22 PM
" Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven.......Cause it hasn't" Bugs Bunny

10-04-2005, 11:27 PM
There once was a girl from Nantuckett.... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/1072.gifWrong forum, sorry http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif.....

10-05-2005, 03:24 AM
"if blind lead blind how they find each other???"

me realise cousin not so inocent ^_^

"kenji why it called joystick, becuase it look like one and men like play with it by themselves?"

then on call flight stick i do ^_^

10-05-2005, 01:45 PM
"I can't even get to the counter to order. This used to be my place. Mine. I'm losing everything I ever cared about."
Ron Stoppable, So the Drama

"It finally happened! She's dating that loser! Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable are dating!"
Bonnie "Bon-Bon" Rockwaller, So the Drama

"A war nerver ends until the last soldier got his funeral"
My own

"And it's something quite peculiar, something shimmering and white. It leads you here despite your destination, under the Milky Way tonight." The Church, "Under the Milky Way", from Green, Black, and Blue

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhsrdsson

10-05-2005, 02:10 PM
LMAO there is some great quotes here. I cant believe one of my posts has lasted this long. Keep em coming eh, they are interesting http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

10-05-2005, 03:15 PM
On first seeing people turning on their landing lights as a "Don't shoot me" sign when landing on a DF server (myself saying),

"They are just making it easier for me to shoot them, what do they think this is - a game?"

10-05-2005, 04:11 PM
Pepperland is a tickle of joy on the blue belly of the universe. It must be scratched. Right, Max? Chief Meanie http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif

10-09-2005, 06:14 AM
"If you see Michael Eisner or anybody who looks like him on the street ... go to them ... kick their @$$ hard ... and tell him to F#*K Off!"

"Don´t worry, be happy"
Bobby McFerrin, Don´t Worry Be Happy

"It´s a mans world, but it would be nothing without a womans heart"
James Brown, Its_a_mans_mans_mans_world

"Syntho-dude, you are going down!"
Ron Stoppable, So the Drama

"Caution! Objects that appear in this mirror are behind you"!
Can be found on rearmirror on Pontiac and others cars http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

10-09-2005, 07:59 AM
DNA - National Dyslexia Association

"The Whole Point Of War Is Not To Die For Your Country, But To Make The Other Bastard Die For His."

10-09-2005, 08:40 AM
"Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy." -Gary Busey

10-09-2005, 10:20 AM
1. "Work, the curse of the drinking classes"

2 "I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy"

10-09-2005, 01:05 PM
"He who controls the remote, controls the future."
Ron Stoppable, Oh Boyz

"Time can be a great thing. At the same time, it can be annoying because when you are waiting for somthing time stays still. While when you are happy it just flies by not waiting for you."

"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and whoever lives and believes in me shall never die."
John 11:25,26

"Hey all you Kriminals"!
Finnish prime minister Ahtti Karjala on visit at Krim happy talking to the crowd outside http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif
(This happend during the Sovjetepoch)

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

10-13-2005, 11:47 AM
"Im working whit a man called MonkeyFist
My evilcareer is so in the toilet"
Shego, A Stich In Time

"Th..They cancelld Snowman Hank?
Ron Stoppable, A very Possible Christmas

Kim Possible, Coach Possible

"Cha!.........and I've got 30% more don't care!" (Kim Possible, Team Impossible)

"I don't know...but I know we'll find them...(Starts Crying) Unless they get away again."
Kim Possible, Emotion Sickness

"Everyone has fear. I mean, fearless people are crazy."
Joe Rogan

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

10-14-2005, 12:08 AM
"I was crazy when crazy meant something" -- Charles Manson.

10-14-2005, 12:35 PM
"What the American people have seen is this incredible disparity in which
those people who had cars and money got out and those people who were less
fortunate died."

-- Ted Kennedy on Hurricane Katrina


--Mary Jo Kopechne


10-14-2005, 01:33 PM
"Yeah, you know, all that stuff was bad, KP, but you know what was worse? Spending a whole summer away from you."
Ron Stoppable, So the Drama

MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson

10-14-2005, 01:42 PM
"In war: resolution.
In defeat: defiance.
In victory: magnanimity.
In peace: goodwill."

- Winston Churchill

10-14-2005, 01:42 PM
"...get a Mustang instead of our beloved Spitfires? That American piece of junk? Our squadron had to pay a lot for the damage we did to the NAAFI when we heard that news." - žorsteinn E. J³nsson (pilot in my sig) - "Dancing in the skies"

"Only the spirit of attack, born in a brave heart, will bring success to any fighter aircraft no matter how highly developed it may be" - Adolf Galland -

"Our P-40's are more maneouverable than a Zero.." - Ben Affleck in Pearl Harbour

"If you can sit, don't stand, if you can lay down, don't sit" - Winston Churchill -

"You is wrong" - Oleg Maddox -

"The major difference between a thing that can break down and a thing that cannot possibly break down is when the thing that cannot possibly break down, breaks down, it's impossible repair it or get at" - Douglas Adams -

"I am the viking!!!" - J³n Páll Sigmarsson (when he won the World strongest men championship for the first time) -

"I got pilot licence no. 13, not because I was the thirteenth pilot in Iceland, everyone else before me declined to have that number on their licence" - žorsteinn E. J³nsson -

"War is not nice" - Nancy Reagan -

From the movie "Patton":
Unknown soldier: Hey general, where are you going?
George C. Scott (as Patton): To Berlin, I'm gonna kill that painter myself!

"It was like being pushed by an angel" - Adolf Galland, when he flew the Me-262 for the first time -

10-14-2005, 01:51 PM
Traffic Policeman: "You could have killed someone..."
Sir Arthur 'Bomber' Harris: "Young man, I kill thousands of people every night."

Max Hastings - 'Bomber Command'

10-14-2005, 02:32 PM
" The only constant in the Universe is the undeniable fact that everything changes." --- Faith_Healer..

and my all time favorite.. "He's dead Jim !!" --- Bones on Star Trek...

10-15-2005, 03:58 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Faith_Healer:
" The only constant in the Universe is the undeniable fact that everything changes." --- Faith_Healer..

and my all time favorite.. "He's dead Jim !!" --- Bones on Star Trek... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>What the ****was that --mayor of hiroshima 1945