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slo_1_2_3
08-01-2006, 07:27 PM
I just gotta post this one it makes me laugh everytime I think of it. Sunday night I flew in a co-op it was some spits and bf-109's with bombers on both sides but thats kinda irelevant to the story. So I flew an early spit I think I shot up a few ju-87's but got peppered myself so I rtb'd I was almost theree an my engine pooped out, so I had one go to land at the airbase so I tried to lose some speed but still came in fast and broke off my right wheel and then my right wingtip and then the other wheel an d finally stopped right in the middle of the runway. So I figured whew I made it I'm not a smokin hole . SO I sat and watched the rest of the fight and seen AFSG_Ghostbear take out alot of ju-87's in his beaufighter he got alot of them and I don't believe he got hit even once so then he ran outa ammo or enemies and rtb'd . He made a nice approach and good landing but I thought he was gonna hit my broken spit in the middle of the runway so I was just kinda thinking well I might as well save myslef so I bailed as soon as I jumped out I was just like aw dang! because by then he had his plane turned enough to miss my plane, unfortunetly the same wasen't so for my pilot . I ran right through his left wheel and wing and took him right down to the dirt, taking off his entire left wing so he just kinda rolled over and skidded down the runway while my completely unharmed pilot just kept going

THE END


I thought it was realy funny as did everyone else watching even ghostbear found it amusing even thought I screwed up his great flight. Ok so post your funny stories I love reading them

slo_1_2_3
08-01-2006, 07:27 PM
I just gotta post this one it makes me laugh everytime I think of it. Sunday night I flew in a co-op it was some spits and bf-109's with bombers on both sides but thats kinda irelevant to the story. So I flew an early spit I think I shot up a few ju-87's but got peppered myself so I rtb'd I was almost theree an my engine pooped out, so I had one go to land at the airbase so I tried to lose some speed but still came in fast and broke off my right wheel and then my right wingtip and then the other wheel an d finally stopped right in the middle of the runway. So I figured whew I made it I'm not a smokin hole . SO I sat and watched the rest of the fight and seen AFSG_Ghostbear take out alot of ju-87's in his beaufighter he got alot of them and I don't believe he got hit even once so then he ran outa ammo or enemies and rtb'd . He made a nice approach and good landing but I thought he was gonna hit my broken spit in the middle of the runway so I was just kinda thinking well I might as well save myslef so I bailed as soon as I jumped out I was just like aw dang! because by then he had his plane turned enough to miss my plane, unfortunetly the same wasen't so for my pilot . I ran right through his left wheel and wing and took him right down to the dirt, taking off his entire left wing so he just kinda rolled over and skidded down the runway while my completely unharmed pilot just kept going

THE END


I thought it was realy funny as did everyone else watching even ghostbear found it amusing even thought I screwed up his great flight. Ok so post your funny stories I love reading them

polak5
08-01-2006, 07:59 PM
LOL nice one

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

flakwagen
08-01-2006, 08:01 PM
The damage model can be a laugh riot at times. Never put the leading edge of a Ki-43 wing up against that of a P-40. You will lose. Ask me how I know. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/touche.gif

As for funny incidents, months ago I joined a server with a mostly biplane plane set. A monowing got on my tail while I was low to the ground and gave me a scare. I panicked, dropped my bombs, and pulled streight up. This fellow duplicated my path, as pursuers often do, and was caught in the blast just as his nose pitched up. His wings fell off like bits of paper. It was very satisfying. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

I miss specialty DF server maps like that. Going up against K4s and Ki84s all the time gets old.

horseback
08-01-2006, 08:51 PM
My funniest Il-2 moment has to be a mission back when I was stil playing the original Il-2: I was deep into the Operation Barbarossa campaign, flying a 109G-2, and on this particular mission, billed as a fighter sweep, my base was attacked by over a dozen Sturmoviks.

My flight and I scrambled; the second flight was mostly caught on the ground and destroyed. After a few frantic moments, during which I was able to take a couple of Sturmos down with cannon to the rear or wings, I found myself following most of them back as they headed for home.

Starting at the rear of the column, I carefully snuck up under each of them, and gave 'em a short MG burst in the oil cooler, taking a few hits from the rear gunners, but nothing immediately disabling.

I'd set their oil coolers smoking, and then move up to my next victim. I counted at least a dozen by the time I ran out of ammo, and struggled back to base streaming my own little smoke stream.

For a very long ten minutes or so, as my engine got ever rougher, I waited for the expected "enemy aircraft destroyed" message, to no avail.

Instead, I heard this over the radio:

"This is Number Three: He's going down!" One dozen times!

I landed & ended the mission, but instead of my expected 13 or 14 additional kills, I had only increased my 'bag' by a measley two victories, so instead of hitting the Apply button, I hit "Record this mission" and then watched what happened.

My Number Three had latched on behind me and used me as a bullet sponge while he followed me & methodically put rounds into each of my 'smokers' before it crashed, thus gaining credit for each of them when they went down.

Naturally, I reflew the mission, and shot my Number Three down first -on that mission and every mission thereafter or the rest of that campaign.

cheers

horseback

mandrill7
08-01-2006, 09:04 PM
My funniest AI moment came when I was test flying a Corsair mission from my Okinawa USMC campaign. I was rtb-ing with my wingie. I landed okay, but he flew too low. "I'm hit! I'm hit! I'm bailing out!" he shouted. (Given his own silly screw-up at zero altitude, this in itself was funny). But then I shift/F2-ed and saw the pathetic wuss. He was now floating with his lazy feet up in the tiny dinghy in a little creek a hundred yards or so away from the airstrip!!

strider1
08-01-2006, 10:08 PM
Does weird count? I've seen a couple of other threads about strange occurences in the game and love the unintended anomalies. After landing and taxiing up beside a parked Beaufighter about 20m form the taxiway to admire the modelling, another Beaufighter landed on the taxiway, came to and stopped right beside my location. I watched the props slow to a halt when suddenly the canopy blew off and the pilot and co-pilot came flying out the top in the horizontal boogie position. Of course, there was no time for their chutes to open and they hit the ground face-down. The rear gunner must have thought this a smart way to get to de-brief fast (and then the club for a cool one!) because he immediately re-enacted the same canopy-eject-face down plop to Mother Earth. All three simutaneously got up and started running for some distance (each in a different direction) and performed the same nose-bustin' drop on his face. I watched the Beaufighter for about 5 seconds, expecting it to explode but it just disappeared like it had been beamed up by Captain Kirk!No flames, no smoke, no debris. I have only had this game for 11 days and look forward to more such fascinating episodes from "The Twilight Zone". Thanks for the help in getting my Fighterstick set up, horseback!!!! Best regards to all. S! Strider1 http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

VW-IceFire
08-01-2006, 10:34 PM
Recently I had a slightly amusing time where I was flying an IL-2M3 online. This is the one with the rapid fire anti tank 37mm cannons. Anyways, I got attacked and I ended up being in a desperate situation with a 109G-10 right infront of me flying at me guns blazing.

Well he managed to totally miss me, meanwhile I returned fire with a single burst....incredible luck I hit the 109. At first nothing happened. I saw the explosions from the cannons but the 109 went salling past me. Looking out the back the 109 suddenly exploded...totally destroyed...nothing left. I thought it was hilarious http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

adlabs6
08-01-2006, 11:02 PM
I don't think it's possible to play IL2 online without seeing more funny things happen than can be remembered.

I've bailed out of a buring plane that skidded off the runway, only to have my pilot run across the runway and into a taking off plane.

I've bailed out and seen the pilot run into nearby water and drown.

Survived the trip to the bombing target, only slightly tattered from enemy fighters, lined up the perfect approach, and nailed the target... only to have forgotten to set bomb delay.

Dogfighting and having an accidental collision with the foe, he's destroyed, I fly away unharmed. Hilarious to watch the chat window when he realizes.

Watching a player accidentally drop bombs on the spawn point and kill himself. Then respawn into the burning wreckage and die again. More players spawn, die, wreckage grows while players wait impatiently for wreckage to disappear. Then someone spawns too soon... wait more... (I think this was patched out?)

I once collided with a foe in a fight, my Me262 lost it's entire tail and elevators. I flew back and landed at base, right on the runway.

If you land a TB3 in rough grass, and it noses over easily so it sits on it's main gear and nose, if you bail all the crew fall a few feet to the ground in rapid succession... and are killed.

fordfan25
08-01-2006, 11:33 PM
well tonight i was in a FW being chased by someguy in a 109. now being the super smart guy i am i refused to turn a dog fight wich of course promted him to start calling me names. instead of breaking off and finding another fight he chased me across the map for better part of 20 minuts. there after i ran outa gas. now being the complete A-hole i am i nosed down and crashed resulting in 20 minuts of waisted time for us both but mostly him as i thought the whole thing roaringly funny. wich as you can picture did not sit well with the chaser LMFAO. ahhh being a jerk sometime's, ....has its moments of greatness heheheh

FoolTrottel
08-02-2006, 12:10 AM
Getting a Seafire back on the deck of the carrier, but not in one piece. Well, one larger piece was left, with me in it.

It started smokin', so I thought I'd better get out.

Bailed out, ran, dived ... over the side ... into the see.... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

slo_1_2_3
08-02-2006, 12:32 AM
I also find it to be a butt load of funny when you bomb a guy in a fighter, dont' mater what kinda bomb you use or what plane ,just as long as it has bombs ,then you set a ten second delay and get the heck away, after the 10 seconds are up and in his eyes he just exlodes for no reason but then find s when the server says . <he> was killed by slo123 they get the picture then but they still don't know how I did it. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif Some reason it's just plain funny everytime I do it , not so much fun on the recieving end though http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-indifferent.gif

vocatx
08-02-2006, 12:52 AM
I was flying on Zekes vs. Wildcats last year on a map that's sadly out of rotation. There was always a big fur-ball out over a large grassy plain. Ki-43s and P-40Cs everywhere. I got behind one and put rounds into his engine, causing it to start smoking. He is one of the better sticks over there, so I figured I'd better make sure he goes down. Just as I drop back in behind him, his canopy flies off, strikes my propellor, and kills my engine...and no, they won't restart after that.

cawimmer430
08-02-2006, 04:39 AM
Damaged a C-47 in a B-109F-2. The C-47 was laden with paratroopers and they began to bail out. I was a few meters below the C-47 at its tail trailing at around 35% power as I was trying to finish him of bit by bit. The first or second paratrooper slammed into my propeller: Engine Inoperable. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

HotelBushranger
08-02-2006, 04:45 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif That's a good one mate!

cawimmer430
08-02-2006, 05:36 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by fordfan25:
well tonight i was in a FW being chased by someguy in a 109. now being the super smart guy i am i refused to turn a dog fight wich of course promted him to start calling me names. instead of breaking off and finding another fight he chased me across the map for better part of 20 minuts. there after i ran outa gas. now being the complete A-hole i am i nosed down and crashed resulting in 20 minuts of waisted time for us both but mostly him as i thought the whole thing roaringly funny. wich as you can picture did not sit well with the chaser LMFAO. ahhh being a jerk sometime's, ....has its moments of greatness heheheh </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Shouldn't he have run out of gas first? I mean, BF-109. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

F6_Ace
08-02-2006, 06:14 AM
Heavily damaging Leadspitter's plane up then have him follow me all the way back to base and vulch me!

Breeze147
08-02-2006, 07:04 AM
After many training flights practicing carrier landings, I was ready for the real thing in a campaign. I came up the starboard side of the carrier, made a perfect break turn over the bow, reduce throttle, flaps to combat, canopy open, seat up, use the throttle expertly to control my angle of attack on approach, gear down, flaps to landing, pass over fantail, perfect landing. Yeehaw!! The Corsair keeps right on going. Oh no! I KNOW I hit at least a 2-wire. Desperate braking and pulling back on the stick. Over the bow, run over by the carrier and killed.

I had completely forgotten to put the frickin' tailhook down! Idiot!!

BBB_Hyperion
08-02-2006, 07:07 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">What's your most memorable funny IL*2 moment? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Finding UBI 1C:Maddox Games General Discussion Forum http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

rnzoli
08-02-2006, 07:14 AM
i am in big trouble, i can't recall any memorable funny moment in IL2 from my own book, although i fly regularly. Can anybody tell me if this is normal or not? Is it a MUST to have those moments?

Anyhow, a funny story from a friend, as he presented it. When he got PF, he wanted to try the PTO maps, attached a huge bomb to his craft, flew accross the map to get to Perl Harbor, went into dive bombing ... and then in quick succession, his left wing, then his right wing separated. He had a few more seconds to play with the useless stick, but he just continued riding the bombload way down to the target. And he missed.

Haigotron
08-02-2006, 09:24 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/23110283/m/600...001020054#6001020054 (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/23110283/m/6001020054?r=6001020054#6001020054)

it says it all there includes screenies http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif...more memorable then funny...but now that i think about the gooden days...it is funny http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Worf101
08-02-2006, 09:38 AM
I'd just joined the 99th in earnest after years of badgering by Birthday Boy Bearcat. We're in a Pacific Coop. Bearcat had fouled the deck but there was enough room for me to land. I then figured I'd skirt around him on the deck and get further towards the end to allow for the rest of the squadron to land.

I folded my wings unlocked my tail wheel and scooted around him perfectly. Then in an alzheimers moment I pushed the throttle forward instead off back. I had too much speed. I'm frantically pressing the brake button all the while screaming "NOOOOOOOO" into the coms... Of course I placed my perfectly fine Corsair into the briney.

Flyby and WindDancer almost laughed till they died. I was docked a months pay for "drag racing" on the carrier.

Da Worfster

Divine-Wind
08-02-2006, 09:43 AM
During one of the early LaGG-3 offline campaigns in IL-2, my flight was tasked with intercepting a flight of bombers. Upon reching them, I happend to dive just below one without knowing it, and pulled up, stopping just below the sucker. I looked up, and low and behold! there she was, less than 10 feet away. I immediately switched to outside view, and saw my tail fly off as I shot forwards from underneath the Heinkel.


... Now that I think about it, it's not all that funny now...

fordfan25
08-02-2006, 11:08 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by cawimmer430:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by fordfan25:
well tonight i was in a FW being chased by someguy in a 109. now being the super smart guy i am i refused to turn a dog fight wich of course promted him to start calling me names. instead of breaking off and finding another fight he chased me across the map for better part of 20 minuts. there after i ran outa gas. now being the complete A-hole i am i nosed down and crashed resulting in 20 minuts of waisted time for us both but mostly him as i thought the whole thing roaringly funny. wich as you can picture did not sit well with the chaser LMFAO. ahhh being a jerk sometime's, ....has its moments of greatness heheheh </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Shouldn't he have run out of gas first? I mean, BF-109. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>i had mistakenly took 25% load out http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

Haigotron
08-02-2006, 12:00 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">i had mistakenly took 25% load out </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

once i took 25% AND EMPTY loadout by accident, i was amazed at how well i was flying, how "easy" the controls were...aha! till i tried shooting...