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Dominicrigg
02-11-2005, 03:28 PM
Tips to improve your writing

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

3. Employ the vernacular.

4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

6. Remember to never split an infinitive.

7. Contractions aren't necessary.

8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

9. One should never generalize.

10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

12. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. Understatement is always best.

15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

17. The passive voice is to be avoided.

18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

20. Who needs rhetorical questions?

21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

22. Don't never use a double negation.

23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point

24. Do not put statements in the negative form.

25. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.

26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

28. A writer must not shift your point of view.

29. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)

30. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!

31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.

32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

36. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

37. Always pick on the correct idiom.

38. The adverb always follows the verb.

39. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They're old hat; seek viable alternatives.

Hope that helps!

RedTerex
02-11-2005, 04:02 PM
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word ?

U-551 Kapitan
02-11-2005, 04:07 PM
[kapitan takes note]
dam funy u r domm keeep itup

blue_76
02-11-2005, 04:27 PM
if i follow all these rules, i'll never finish a sentence! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

ParaB
02-11-2005, 05:13 PM
I'd be already happy if at least the guys that speak English as their NATIVE language would try to write a sentence without mistakes or use a spell checker...

Some posts are...embarrassing.

icrash
02-11-2005, 05:32 PM
Pronouns are nouns that have lost their amateur status right?

sdcruz
02-11-2005, 10:28 PM
Mate, how about you improving your grammer - there is no such word "bestest"

Regards
Shelton.

Dominicrigg
02-12-2005, 05:17 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/351.gif Someone doesn't get it, someone doesn't get it!

Ohhh a body blow, dom falls to the ground mortally wounded by the attack on his english skills. His will to write destroyed, this may be his last post ever...

(Hurray, there was much rejoicing)

p.s. How about improving your funny bone?

Touché

Gbucket
02-12-2005, 05:31 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by RedTerex:
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word ? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Due to the inherent nature of linguistics relative to fourteenth century etymology , the word "abbreviation," a derivative of the word "brief," comes via Old French "bref" from Latin "brevis" meaning "short," which is probably related to Greek "brakhus" -"short," from which English gets the combining form "brachy-" as in "brachycephalic." Latin produced the nominal derivative "breve," meaning "letter," and later, "summary," which came into English in the 14th century in the sense "letter of authority" (German as' 'brief simply meaning 'letter'). The notion of an 'abbreviation' or 'summary' followed in the next century, and the modern legal sense 'summary of the facts of a case' developed in the 17th century. This formed the basis of the verbal sense 'inform and instruct,' which is the 19th century. "Briefs," that is, "underpants" are 20th century.

The musical use of the noun "breve" began in the 15th century when, logically enough, it meant "short note." Modern usage, in which it denotes the longest note, comes from Italian "breve." Other derivatives of "brief" include "brevity" [16th], introduced into English via Anglo-Norman "brevete;" "abbreviate" [15th], from late Latin, "abbreviare" (which is also the source, via Old French "abregier," of "abridge" [14th]); and "breviary"-meaning 'book of church services' [16th], from Latin "breviarium."

Therefore, due to the lengthy explanation of the etymology of the word, "abbreviation," the exacerbation of such an elucidation, and the cramps in my fingers caused by the circumlocution of this explication, this is why abbreviation is such a long word.

hauitsme
02-12-2005, 06:04 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> UbiRazz:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>RedTerex:
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word ? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
.... due to the lengthy explanation of the etymology of the word, "abbreviation," the exacerbation of such an elucidation, and the cramps in my fingers caused by the circumlocution of this explication, this is why abbreviation is such a long word. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v325/hauitsme/bestwishes.gif http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v325/hauitsme/flowers.gif http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v325/hauitsme/sunny.gif http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v325/hauitsme/CapSmile.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/heart.gif

STEFOSTEF_FRANC
02-12-2005, 06:15 AM
bump http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

Dominicrigg
02-12-2005, 06:23 AM
Hey someone get Ubirazz a doctor!! Hes gone Hyperlinguistic, i think we're losing him...

Antrodemus
02-12-2005, 07:05 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Mate, how about you improving your grammer <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

rofl... http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

A.

U-551 Kapitan
02-12-2005, 07:40 AM
Ah, you are mistaken, that tis spelling, that tis not grammar.

Antrodemus
02-12-2005, 08:02 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

A.

Dominicrigg
02-12-2005, 08:04 AM
I think Antro meant glass houses and stones type things, sorry i had to say that... Silent again now http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

U-551 Kapitan
02-12-2005, 08:14 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-mad.gif

U-551 Kapitan
02-12-2005, 08:37 AM
OK, I've done myself in now. You are free to speak, just don't go overboard with it.

Messervy
02-12-2005, 08:40 AM
You do realize this is a childish spam, do you?

U-551 Kapitan
02-12-2005, 08:47 AM
Nothing has been spammed in this topic. The only hint of spamming I have done is in the "What's going on on the submarine during cruising?" thread. And I've stated my reasons there.
http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

BobV_07
02-12-2005, 08:56 AM
Hey, I got a good tip for a post. Dont be such a grinch! Say positive things not destructive things! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif And be nice!!! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

http://www.stickergiant.com/Merchant2/imgs/250/ss176.gif

U-551 Kapitan
02-12-2005, 09:09 AM
YES!!! I've just been having a rant about how people should be nice here.

BobV_07
02-12-2005, 09:48 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by U-551 Kapitan:
YES!!! I've just been having a rant about how people should be nice here. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Yeah, tell me was it the "What's going on on the submarine during cruising?" thread? I just got done checking that one out. And yes, I know exactly what you mean! Most of the time hauitsme can be a bad little tomatoe! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif Right along with some others.

http://www.stickergiant.com/Merchant2/imgs/250/ss176.gif

der|zerst0rer|
02-13-2005, 04:01 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Antrodemus:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Mate, how about you improving your gramm_e_r <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

rofl... http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

A. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Good one http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

SailorSteve
02-13-2005, 12:18 PM
Good one, Dom! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif