View Full Version : Your dumbest SH3 moment

01-17-2007, 06:27 PM
Was it the time you set your depth at 10 meters and your pistols to impact?

You surfaced in a convoy instead of going to periscope depth.

01-17-2007, 06:27 PM
Was it the time you set your depth at 10 meters and your pistols to impact?

You surfaced in a convoy instead of going to periscope depth.

01-18-2007, 02:02 AM
This was a direct result of a lack of situational awareness:

I ordered what should have been a routine 25m diving depth. The kicker was that I didn't have the shallow depth gauge up, instead I had the deep depth gauge visible. So, while at x1024 TC, I ended up turning my boat, one of my best Kaleuns and a great crew into a virtual crushed can of human soup.

Runner-up: Ordered a "Crash Dive" after spotting a flight of four B-25 Liberator aircraft... in 25m deep waters!<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e98/AO1_AW_SW_USN/th_pn-eaws.jpg (http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e98/AO1_AW_SW_USN/pn-eaws.jpg)http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e98/AO1_AW_SW_USN/th_100k1zzb0dwjpeg7kj.jpg (http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e98/AO1_AW_SW_USN/100k1zzb0dwjpeg7kj.jpg)http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e98/AO1_AW_SW_USN/th_esws.jpg (http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e98/AO1_AW_SW_USN/esws.jpg)

"Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to nail jam to a tree."

01-18-2007, 05:56 AM
Trying to man the deck gun when my sub didn't have a deck gun! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif

01-18-2007, 09:46 AM
While being attacked by a couple of corvettes I experimented with bottoming the boat to see if that would trick my attackers. It worked, they looked around for an hour, dropped a bunch of DC's, killed a large number of fish and then went on their merry way.

I cranked the TC up to around 512x and just waited, after 90 minutes of game time I decided to plot my escape. My only mistake was I forgot to decrease my depth, so as soon as I hit right click on the nav map the boat started scraping across the bottom of the ocean. And since I was at 512x I was unable save my ship before the entire sub was flooded and my crew dead.

It was a bone head move, to say the least.

01-18-2007, 10:44 AM

Great ones.

The most stupid thing that happened to me began with an attack on a convoy early in the war. I managed to sink 2 tankers and damaged 2 other ships, when a destroyer managed to find me and attacked me with DCs. My boat got a small leak in the aft-torp-room, nothing serious.
I ordered to dive to 50m, having about 60m of water under keel. Slowly following the convoy I waited for the tubes to be reloaded. Suddenly I scraped the ground.


I double checked, but the aft-torp-room was almost completely flooded. WTH? At that very moment the destroyers were above me and I got a few more leaks. I assigned a better team for the repairs and filled all the open spaces in the damage-controll-team. No effect.

As 2 other rooms were almost completely flooded, I noticed the ship was still rigged for silent running... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blush.gif<div class="ev_tpc_signature">



01-18-2007, 11:00 AM
Skulking around the mouth of Gibraltar. After dodging destroyers all night, I was forced to surface @ dawn to replentish oxygen. I thought the coast was clear since there were no hydrophone contacts anywhere & nothing visible in periscope range. So I ordered to surface the boat. As soon as the watch crew & I came onto deck, I spotted a speck in the Eastern sky. It was a Sunderland heading straight @ us! I immediately ordered a crash dive. I thought we would escape just as the conning tower began to submerge. The 1st bombs narrowly missed us & rocked the boat. But another one nailed us & the death screen immediately popped up. Thus ended my 1st & somewhat successful career on our 14th patrol. Later on the forums, I mentioned this & quite a few people told me "Gibraltar = death for you & your crew. Now you know." Talk about feeling like a moron. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif My take on it was the destroyers triangulated our position & left when planes arrived to patrol the area, knowing that we had to come up for air sooner or later.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

http://www.geocities.com/uboat_flotilla_52/U-013Sig.jpg (http://www.geocities.com/uboat_flotilla_52/index.html)


01-18-2007, 11:10 AM
My boat had about 20 meters water under the keel as i hear "Plane spotted !"

And OF COURSE i panicked and ordered an crash dive...... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

http://img354.imageshack.us/img354/7347/germanyf2t11x2ef.gif (http://imageshack.us)http://img111.imageshack.us/img111/341/sig31lu4.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

01-18-2007, 11:22 AM
My dumbest moment in SH3 happened last night. I dived to 50m and stayed under for the whole day. When I came top surface and went into crew management to put a WO on the bridge, I per chance noticed that for 14 hours straight... there was nobody manning the hydrophone and I was running on high TC!<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

Proud captain of U-95!

01-18-2007, 01:57 PM
I ran out of torpedo's, Flak Gun Ammo and 'Big gun ammo' as I call it. This was before i got to my patrol!!!

Then on my way back, I had spent such a long time tailing a HUGE convoy (well huge for me), i effectively ran out of fuel, so to conserve i do the electric engines, diesel engines trick. At max TC of course http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif Then once I surfaced (I was a small distance from Brest, certainly in the English channel), I accidentally surface right in he middle of a warpack, or taskforce (whatever they're called) went head first into a Destroyer or Battleship orsome odd warship (I'm not sure cos it was a while ago), i think i sunk it, but i had something like 5-6% HD left, and i NEEDED to recharge batteries,and had leaking in most compartments, AND I had lost almost half my crew, or maybe more...like i said, i forget.

But the main reason why i remember most of this is cos now i ALWAYS slow down and check before surfacing.

Another thing i do all the time is attack a convoy at too close a range (30-40M) to i end up crashing into them, or having to crash dive in shallow waters.

01-18-2007, 02:21 PM
Crash diving while at shallow depth and colliding with vessels as I leave port have been my biggest blunders to date. I've learned to carefully plot my departure route around vessels in port, and to always be aware of the depth under keel. The other thing is to really have a good look around before surfacing. I once thought I was safe to surface after attacking a convoy and surfaced right in view of a destroyer that was parked with engines off.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">


01-18-2007, 02:36 PM
Some of my own.

Crash diving in shallow water.

on max TC hitting D instead of S and turning my crew into Kriegsmarine mash.. This was before the TC was patched to stop at critical depth.

Dumbest yet, trying to sneak into cape town at periscope depth with my periscope extended.

01-18-2007, 02:53 PM
Hmm there have been a lot of dumb things. I think we have all made the crash dive in shallow water one, I have done it a few times.

Last week as I was puttering along south of England just bellow the surface. I put the watch crew in the engine room to squeeze a little bit more out of the batteries. Satisfied that all was well I went off to make a sandwich and do a couple other things. When I came back about ten fifteen minutes later I noticed the batteries were almost dry so I surfaced to recharge. An explosion several minutes later surprised me, as I wondered what the hell was happening I remembered I forgot to reassign the watch crew. I did not even make it to my patrol area.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

Hate the coward. Honor the dead.
Kapitän U-100 VIIB Für das Vaterland.
Soldaten gewinnen Schlachten. Ingenieure gewinnen Kriege.
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01-18-2007, 03:06 PM
Ah, yes! The infamous "leaving the crew while I go for a snack, bathroom break, etc. maneuver." Famous killer of U-boats all round the SH3 world.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">


01-18-2007, 03:49 PM
Running into the walls at Lorient. Runing into a small island(not shown on larger scales) Crash Diving in 18m water.<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

Good Luck and Good Hunting,Wilhelm

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__________________________________________________ ____________________________________
"The idea is not to die for your country but make the other basterd die for his." Gen. George S. Patton.
"Uncomon valor was a comon virtue" Adm. Chester Nimitz.
"Wars are won by a strong will for victory" Marshal Zhukov
"Tenancity, Dic.k. Stay with the bastard till he's on the bottom" Lt. Commander Dudly "Mush" Morton, USS Wahoo
"We dont jave problems, just solutions and other options" Lt. Commander Eugene Fluckey, USS Barb

01-18-2007, 04:22 PM
Well I've been plying for a little while now on my 2nd carrer. So far I think the #1 Bernard move would be instead of using the del key to lower the scope hitting the Enter key and firing a fish at nothing. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/compsmash.gif

01-18-2007, 06:24 PM
firing 6 torps at a fishing boat, then having none loaded to battle the 8000 ton C3 that was in the distance http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

Ich Muss Zerstoren Schiffe


01-18-2007, 07:46 PM
My dumbest moment is buying and plaging this game and after 23 missions---having to abandon it for 2 months. Too long to explain now, but I can only watch this forum on a low end laptop rather than experience all of it on my desktop computer....if only I had enough money to buy a laptop that could give the game its best. Is there a laptop that can make this game come alive?? Thanhks

01-19-2007, 04:37 AM
Setting my depth for daytime running, hitting TCx256, and going to answer a phone call, forgetting to pause the game.
All dead, ooops<div class="ev_tpc_signature">

You can judge the character of a man by the condition of those around him.

01-19-2007, 04:46 AM
Beaching my self a few miles from a British port is proberly my most stupid move (done by mistake), saying that however, while raiding Hartlepool after plotting a course to get into firing position on a not quite sinking ship. Turning on TC in external view to see if the last ship I hit was sinking, I forgot to check my IIs progress. After getting hit with a lot of damage messages, my boat was actually embedded in the wall and it took a while to finally pull myself out, with a few dead crew in the torpedo room and heavy flooding.

01-19-2007, 11:16 AM
Actually I've never crash dived in shallow waters...

... but once blew whole my crew up to kingdom come on return from a 56 days patrol on a mine 15 km from my home base. Just forgot there are mines and antisubmarine nets in the entrance to port. (GWX of course) :|

02-01-2007, 08:47 AM
my dumbest moment was running into a antisubnet the first time i went on patrol with the Harbor traffic mod that adds subnets. smashed right into it and sunk. had to end my career on the southern entrance to Scapa Flow

02-01-2007, 12:26 PM
I sunk a big ship, then ordered to dive without watching my course and the cargo sunk straight on my Uboot and dragged me to lethal depth. muahaha.

02-01-2007, 04:08 PM
I fired a torpedo, set for magnetic trigger, at a two masted schooner. Then I realised, wood ain't magnetic, ooops

02-02-2007, 06:29 AM

I tried to magfuse a speeding convoytanker but he slowed down short after my eel left the tube. Genius I am I surfaced to attract a DD to make him speed up and tell the wren where to go. Well he sent me some rounds and managed to hit but I dived again and stopped all engines. While doing my repairs the DD went closing in. Passing over me his hull scrached along my conningtower and disabled his engines. Raising my periscope to risk a glance this was the last thing I saw...

Direct hit into my aft section - all hands lost.

Even worse it was to recognize the torpedo was running at 12 m depth - no way to destroy the DD but great to smack into my boat.

02-02-2007, 07:18 AM
More than one and too many to list here however I'll give a few of the highlights.

1rst Patrol, just out of the harbor decide to test the crew and order a crash dive without fully understanding exactly what that would do. Nothing like flank speed into the sea floor. Mission to dig underwater trench complete.

Also 1rst Patrol sunk a ship and switched to free view to watch it when I noticed another ship on the surface go plowing right between the two halves and the fireball. Than realizing that it was my Uboat because I had neglected to stop or put it in back slow while I was rubber necking at the ship going down.

Being trapped underwater by a taskforce and thinking that I gave them the slip after six hours of slinking around on the bottom and surfacing in the middle of them all sitting idle because I neglected to do a periscope check.

and finally without a hydrophone operator or a periscope check surfacing under a DD that was just passing through. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif

Keep hunting

02-02-2007, 08:42 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Even worse it was to recognize the torpedo was running at 12 m depth - no way to destroy the DD but great to smack into my boat. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Reminds me of some sub movie:
One crewman says, "You arrogant oss, you killed us."

02-02-2007, 09:29 AM
A night attack at Casablanca - lots of targets there, once you get rid of the armed trawler. Lots of sound contacts and I eventually got them locked on the TDC. Fired eight torpedoes at six targets (which I assumed to be enemy). You guessed it - half of them were on the other sides of the dock walls. I had been concentrating too much on the TDC plot, which didn't show the harbour walls and docks, just sound contacts which eventually became 'visual' targets. Flicked over to the Navigation map and there was the harbour, about 100m away.
Even then I had sunk two, but only one, plus the trawler, showed up on my Captain's Log.

BTW - no room underneath the boat to go more than PD. In hindsight I could have duked it out with a second trawler and may have been able to loiter until dawn to see where the ships in the harbour were - several more would have been accessible.

02-02-2007, 09:32 AM
Much like Mittelwaechter, shot my first ever Falke at a DD, went ahead flank, then all stop. All this time i followed the torpedo as it searched for the DD. After a couple minutes, I saw the DD pass over a dark shape (at night). 1 Falke in the command room = instand death screen.

Plotted a course out of Wilhelmshaven too fast, damage in all compartments from scraping against a lighthouse http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

Decided to see what kind of an impact will set off a mine in the Channel. Turned out that even a slight touch will, all hands lost http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

My very first patrol- fired a Fast TI with magnetic detonator in very stormy seas at a C2 about 6000 meters away http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

Crashed into two different sub nets out of Lorient, and ran into a minefield there, first patrol with GW (rather first three attempts at a first patrol http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif)

Many more, can't think right now

02-02-2007, 09:35 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">1rst Patrol, just out of the harbor decide to test the crew and order a crash dive without fully understanding exactly what that would do. Nothing like flank speed into the sea floor. Mission to dig underwater trench complete.

Also 1rst Patrol sunk a ship and switched to free view to watch it when I noticed another ship on the surface go plowing right between the two halves and the fireball. Than realizing that it was my Uboat because I had neglected to stop or put it in back slow while I was rubber necking at the ship going down. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I remember that!!!!!!! That story was THE funniest one, IMO http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/heart.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

02-02-2007, 05:24 PM
i was told to patrol am18 , my first patrol and i went the long way north of scapa flow cause the eng channel is a hell of DD. i found a huge convoy that you coudnt distinguish the lines from the hydrophone about 50+ ships. i ignored it since it was a dark and stormy night.
when i finished the patrol i was followed by one DD cause i went to the eng chan. cause i was low on fuel soo. he DC'ed me three times and i had lost him. is set the depth by myself and because i was so spooffed by the DD i didint notice i was scraping the bottom and i was getting damage messages and i thought i was being depth charged by the DD while i was really scraping the bottom. i went to the periscope to "find" the DD i was so desperatly looking for when 5 seconds later "U-boot lost"
all hands lost and i was like what the f*ck, no f**king way, I will f**king avenge you Motherf**ker no way this cant be it when i realised i scrapped the bottom and boom dead and so it lost my uboot because of my ignorance and incompetence. that sucks cause i had everything set out and perfect and i did not save a thing when in patrol so i lost everything and i had to start over!
http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/compsmash.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/disagree.gif

02-02-2007, 09:20 PM
first patrol in a type IID. forgot the little thing dosent go as deep as my old VIIb. and i ignored that fact while running away from escort from a task force ended up dying from my own ignorence.

02-02-2007, 10:27 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Minoos:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Even worse it was to recognize the torpedo was running at 12 m depth - no way to destroy the DD but great to smack into my boat. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Reminds me of some sub movie:
One crewman says, "You arrogant oss, you killed us." </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
"Hunt for Red October" Good movie.

02-05-2007, 02:49 PM
Having a great patrol, 75,000 tons and then on 1024x smashing into the wall at brest opposite the entrance and sinking

02-05-2007, 05:30 PM
thats gotta hurt loosing 75,000 tones you sunk if ur playing DiD-dead is dead no loading previous game save

02-06-2007, 01:21 PM
Coming home to st nazaire after patrol, so i put the waypoints on the map without noticing that one of the route legs is crossing right over the little island west of st. nazaire. Then i zoom in the port and wait for my uboat in 1024x.
...needless to say it never came.

02-06-2007, 07:05 PM
I think my sub got lost in the texture folder zone

02-06-2007, 07:24 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif Nice one...! I would prefer to be lost in the pinup girls poster folder though... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/784.gif

02-07-2007, 05:49 PM
Just happened to me today:

Forgetting to set underwater speed to 2 knots and silent running when near enemy harbours http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

After being detected during the point made above, accidentally pressing C instead of Z

Trying to simultaneously take on a Small merchant, an armed trawler and a Flower Corvette while surfaced, knowing there are 5 planes buzzing overhead and a destroyer on the horizon (Speaking of which, I managed to get away, sinking both the merchant and the trawler http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif)

Forgetting that after patch 1.4b the destroyers don't automatically sink after ramming the conning tower

02-08-2007, 01:15 AM
All my dumbest moments have occured while running surfaced in the fog . like being broadsided by a T3 , and i met a Flower head on , he just appeared out of the fog , and we passed withina few feet of each other , course i think he was surprised as i was , he never fired a shot. gotta love fog .

02-08-2007, 08:42 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">he just appeared out of the fog , and we passed withina few feet of each other , course i think he was surprised as i was , he never fired a shot. gotta love fog . </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Flowers don't have a gun at the rear of them, nor do they seem to have any people looking backwards, ever. So I guess he either:
a)Didn't notice you at all, or
b)He just couldn't bring his forward gun to bear (I assume you dove right after seeing him?)

04-20-2007, 09:26 AM
I was cruising down to Gibraltar at 1024 TC. While I was waiting and watching, I picked up my little stress ball. I started bouncing it lightly on the desk next to my keyboard. I lost control of it and it bounced onto the keyboard and the letter D. Before I realized what had happened, I was at 200 M and I wasn't coming back up.

04-20-2007, 12:24 PM

There are some good ones there, but I still think my best one was this:

1939, first month of war. Me in my Type IID decides to raid Scappa and get the Royal Oak before Gunther. Cunning plan or what??


I thought so too! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/53.gif

Boy was I wrong!

Sailed into Scapa bold as brass on the surface through the main Southern entrance. Not a thing in sight - ANYWHERE!?!?!?! No patrols at the entrance, nothing in harbour. I even sailed through the anchorage to the harbour! Not a sausage! Literally!!!

humph I go. I'll raid some other port and head back out. Still nothing.

Minding my own buisness just South of the Southern entrance I hear one god almighty band and crunching crash sound. WTF I think (in the map screen) and hit bridge. I get there and the "Sub destroyed by Collision" comes up!

THe screen pans round in the backcround revealing my destroyer.....

A frigging Fishing boat! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

The really annoying thing is I had a full bridge watch, officer (watch certificate) and it was a crystal calm night!!!

04-24-2007, 02:13 AM
The dumbest that I can remember is interestingly enough yesterday.

I was playing the Naval Academy torpedo mission just because I wanted to blow stuff up and it takes about 25 seconds to load. So I see a C2 at 1800 and just a few degrees to his right a small Coastal Merchant at 800. I set up a 3 torpedo spread for the C2 and intend to send the torps under the small merchant below his keel by more than 2 meters so that they detonate beneath the C2.

One problem. I forgot to set the running depth to 10 meters. So at less than 800 meters this little ship explodes with 3 torpedoes in quick succession and I literally move my head backwards out of surprise. What a bang. I felt both stupid and very gratified at the same time.

GWX packs as much of a bang as anything else. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

04-24-2007, 06:22 AM
Starting my very first career, I left port at night. This was with version 1.0, zooming in on the map didn't show the lay out of the port.
I gave the order for Ahead Slow, and due to the dark and ignorance of the port, I tried to come to port and smacked into the sea wall. So, first 2 minutes of my career I smashed up my sub.

04-24-2007, 08:02 AM
I have several:

* Leaving Lorient at night and crashing into the sea wall.

* crashing into a sinking Bogue carrier and
getting dragged down to 200+ m depth and the
rest was history.

* Forgetting that my current patrol was in
1943 and not the previous 1940. As a result, 8 Sunderlands found me on the surface at dawn and wiped out my deck and flak guns, plus I lost my WO before diving. I also lost my rudders and rear dive planes so I was in deep do-do.


04-24-2007, 02:23 PM
My dumb SH3 moments can be found here: Oh sh*t moments. (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/9011058263?r=9011058263#9011058263)

04-25-2007, 12:38 PM
To sail out of Lorient, I plotted my course to my patrol grid, hit 1/3 ahead and went to dinner. When i came back the sub was smashed agains the shore, since i forgot to click on "return to course".

04-26-2007, 01:54 PM
The only one i can remember is
setting the time on 1024x nearing the baseport
and sailing into the quay. The uboat was
destroyed by that.

Never done that again.

04-26-2007, 07:31 PM
Forgetting to save my game before and while heading home...after a few hours of dodging escorts and armed twalers i finaly made it back to port..set my course for the dock then went into the toilet to take a wizz. Took a little longer then exspected and when I came back to the game had crashed my sub into the dock ..killing everyone. REMEMBER I said i forgot to save the game before heading back home ? I was a bit angry.

04-26-2007, 09:51 PM
I think I just had mine. I'd sailed on June 1st 1944 from Brest so I thought I just HAD TO check out the Normandy coast in time for dawn on 6th June. Stock SH3, though - nothing there. Except that the Sunderlands and Liberators were hunting in packs of 12! I finally gave up and limped home with no attack periscope, no snorkel, no flak, no deck gun. Inside the harbour at Brest it looked like I was entering the dock at a bad angle so turned a little bit more to straighten up and then hit the 'return to course' button. It turned the boat again but I hadn't noticed that I'd gone past a waypoint, so the boat tried to turn a full 180 inside the dock! Crunched the wall and - even at 3 knots - sunk myself!

04-28-2007, 12:17 AM
So far I have yet to have a really dumb moment related to tactics. I've done mainly speed up too fast and have the computer freeze. But my friend, the first day he got the game, the first launch on his first patrol. He rammed the water break just outside the port. I bring it up every now and than, he just tells me to shut up http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-tongue.gif