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tsisqua
11-19-2008, 06:55 AM
Hello all.

I know that there are still plenty here who remember me, and its those I wish to speak to:

I am 9 months clean from alcohol, and some VERY bad drugs. I tried to get my life together on my own, but soon realized that this wasn't possible. I was out of my home for several months, and am currently active in a faith-based 12 step recovery program. I have always considered the "old-timers" here to be a part of my extended family, and as much as this is only a web forum, many of the newer folks won't really understand that I feel a responsibility to this family, and want them to know that I'm sorry for abandoning my input for so long. Its an important part of my recovery to make amends to those I've wronged due to my addictions, so I am here to do that now.

Those who remember, I left off teaching music at the university where I worked to pursue a career in performance. I'm still after that, but you can be sure: there will be no more drugs or booze associated with that venture.

I'm still trying to pull things back together, but right now I am working on recovering my family life with my wife and kids.

Thanks for years of enjoyment and the many friendships I've made here.

Tsisqua

tsisqua
11-19-2008, 06:55 AM
Hello all.

I know that there are still plenty here who remember me, and its those I wish to speak to:

I am 9 months clean from alcohol, and some VERY bad drugs. I tried to get my life together on my own, but soon realized that this wasn't possible. I was out of my home for several months, and am currently active in a faith-based 12 step recovery program. I have always considered the "old-timers" here to be a part of my extended family, and as much as this is only a web forum, many of the newer folks won't really understand that I feel a responsibility to this family, and want them to know that I'm sorry for abandoning my input for so long. Its an important part of my recovery to make amends to those I've wronged due to my addictions, so I am here to do that now.

Those who remember, I left off teaching music at the university where I worked to pursue a career in performance. I'm still after that, but you can be sure: there will be no more drugs or booze associated with that venture.

I'm still trying to pull things back together, but right now I am working on recovering my family life with my wife and kids.

Thanks for years of enjoyment and the many friendships I've made here.

Tsisqua

Feathered_IV
11-19-2008, 07:12 AM
Great to see you back! Even better to see you on the mend. Sincerely hope everything works out for you and your family. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

x6BL_Brando
11-19-2008, 07:14 AM
It's good to hear you are in recovery and getting well.

Best wishes to you http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

brando

SlickStick
11-19-2008, 08:01 AM
One Day At A Time.

It works when you work it.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Best of luck to you, tsisqua. Stay close to your sponsor and always remember to share your experience, strength, and hope to help others who might also need what you now have. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

FlatSpinMan
11-19-2008, 08:26 AM
Gutted to read what happened there mate. Glad to hear you're pulling it all together again. You had so much.
There's someone in Japan pulling for you man. you were always one of the good guys.

HayateAce
11-19-2008, 08:48 AM
Nice move Larry,

Accountability will go a long way towards a real recovery. The real danger for you in the coming months will be if/when the storms start calming and things begin to smooth over. That is when any addiction will sneak up to see if you're still game for "just one." Find a local mentor who will be willing to meet with you periodically. Someone who you will really be honest with. Give your wife and kids transparent access to all your activities. Watch out for long blocks of unaccountable time alone.

Trust is knocked down in an instant, and can take years to fully restore....but it can happen.

Best wishes and prayers for you,

Hopeful.

tsisqua
11-19-2008, 08:51 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by SlickStick:


... always remember to share your experience, strength, and hope to help others who might also need what you now have. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeppir . . . what could have killed me has in a way become a gift that can help others, and its always good to be reminded of that.

Thank you so much, Flatspin . . . When substance abuse causes so much guilt its good to remember that there were good things in my inventory as well as bad.

Tsisqua

SlickStick
11-19-2008, 09:00 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by tsisqua:
Yeppir . . . what could have killed me has in a way become a gift that can help others, and its always good to be reminded of that. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Cool, that's what's known as "Keeping it green". http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

F19_Orheim
11-19-2008, 09:02 AM
Not been there, not done so, therefor I can't even imagine what a rocky road you've been on mate for the past few months.

I have no words of wisdom to share, no good advices.

All I can do is to express my fullest support and biggest clap on your shoulder, and say; Good for you!!! Future is there, bright as ever, with still a few bumps on the road... but you'll handle 'em.

Indeed glad to see you back, but even happier that you are on the right track.

well done mate!

PS: Guilt I know a lot of... it's crap AND destructive. Get rid of it too! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

tsisqua
11-19-2008, 09:04 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by HayateAce:
Nice move Larry,

Accountability will go a long way towards a real recovery. The real danger for you in the coming months will be if/when the storms start calming and things begin to smooth over. That is when any addiction will sneak up to see if you're still game for "just one." Find a local mentor who will be willing to meet with you periodically. Someone who you will really be honest with. Give your wife and kids transparent access to all your activities. Watch out for long blocks of unaccountable time alone.

Trust is knocked down in an instant, and can take years to fully restore....but it can happen.

Best wishes and prayers for you,

Hopeful. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

All very good advice. I've worked in nightclubs for years playing music, and I enjoy doing that. But I need to work with clean musicians, and different venues that are more family oriented like fairs, festivals and schools. My sponsor has become my big brother and spiritual mentor. I have an accountability partner who is also a musician, and see him at least two or three times a week outside of group. Most important is my higher power without whom I would be dead or in prison right now.

Thanks for your prayers.

Tsisqua

Airmail109
11-19-2008, 09:05 AM
Heh Tsisqua

Freaking musicians (said from experience). Hope all goes well

tsisqua
11-19-2008, 09:09 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Guilt I know a lot of... it's crap AND destructive. Get rid of it too! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Orheim, so good to see ya!

Yeah, the guilt does alot to hold us in the dark, and set us up for more falls. Thanks, bro. I still have the pic of you in the Gladiator.

tsisqua
11-19-2008, 09:18 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Aimail101:
Heh Tsisqua

Freaking musicians (said from experience). Hope all goes well </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


LOL . . . well, it seems we do have a reputation to uphold http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/10.gif

Thanks, Aimail

TX-Gunslinger
11-19-2008, 09:22 AM
So great to see you back Tsisqua! Really missed you commentary.

Great to see your avatar gracing the boards!

Good luck and Godspeed,

Gunny

LEBillfish
11-19-2008, 09:50 AM
Welcome back!....Sadly I can relate on snowy and even poppy plains, the craving never having left.

However, as far as I know, you have nothing to appologize for here. You simply rather quickly left from what I recall....So no hard feelings from any I know of, just that they've been missing you!

My warmest regards and wishes for you to now and always continue winning the battle...Welcome back!

K2

Sturm_Williger
11-19-2008, 11:59 AM
Hey, nice to see someone I "know" beat the sh*t.

I hope you continue to gain strength and your life continues to move upwards. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

DuxCorvan
11-19-2008, 12:06 PM
Missed you, man.

I'm so glad you're back, and that it's because you are beginning a better life, that it's like a small inner party on this side of the wire.

Welcome again, and always, Tsisqua.

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif

Aaron_GT
11-19-2008, 12:07 PM
Sorry to hear about your difficulties (never would have guessed from your posts) but glad to hear you are on the road to recovery, and wish you all luck.

SeaFireLIV
11-19-2008, 12:22 PM
I had no idea, Tsisqua. None at all. I had a m8 who was an alcoholic for many years and he finally managed to drop it. Good to see you have fought off your demons too.

Can`t see why you`re apologising to us. I congratulate you for your new strength. Stay with it, pal!

dieg777
11-19-2008, 01:11 PM
welcome back Larry

You always were someone who helped out around here and had an optimism about your posts. I really dont think you have anything to apologise for here. Im sure all who knew you are just pleased that you are around and are working things out.

My thoughts are with you and I wish you every sucess in your recovery and hope you can work it out with your family

S

dieg777

ytareh
11-19-2008, 01:43 PM
Best of luck!

Choctaw111
11-19-2008, 02:19 PM
It is good to see you here again.
There are many things in life that may take us away from these forums, and in your case you have my highest regards for what you have been, and are going through. My thoughts are with you as you are making your journey to the top of this mountain. You will get there, and it will be all good in the end.

TX-EcoDragon
11-19-2008, 02:26 PM
I'm glad to see you back, and glad to hear that you have gotten through what you have, and made a change for the better. I certainly had no idea that you were struggling with this. Your presence here, and your posts were always an asset to the community.

I was looking for a post yesterday for a friend, and was digging through the old stuff, and realizing how many names I don't see around anymore it's good to have an update now and then.

All the best!

Friendly_flyer
11-19-2008, 03:11 PM
Good to hear from you! I hope everything goes well with you and your family!

Thekid321
11-19-2008, 05:52 PM
Hey Tsisqua! I haven't been here long enough to see your posts, but from what I've read, you've made a good decision with your recovery. I wish you the best of luck with your life. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

LEXX_Luthor
11-19-2008, 06:15 PM
yea Wellcome back tsisqua

I figured another flood came along and washed you away. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

In a way, I guess one did, and you got back to shore.

CUJO_1970
11-19-2008, 06:30 PM
Stay the course, don't look back.

tsisqua
11-19-2008, 09:04 PM
Wow.

I told my sponsor tonight about this place and the friends that I have here. He said that coming back was a good thing, and now I can really see why.

I wasn't really able to speak to some of my best friends locally for a long time, and my best bud, who has posted here as Skidro, was one of them. Finally calling him up and later visiting him was a barrier that I had to break down, and this was quite like that. This "mad"-house (pun definitely intended) had become an important part of my life and sanity. Ironic isn't it http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif ! Suffice it to say that if I am to recover my life that this forum must once again be part of it.

Now, on to this crazy mod package I just installed http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/winky.gif

Thanks friends . . . brothers, . . . . sisters http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Tsisqua

wayno7777
11-19-2008, 09:21 PM
Where there is a will, there is a way. One foot in front of the other. Great to see you back, Larry and my prayers are with you, bud!

Bearcat99
11-19-2008, 09:39 PM
Tsilugi gasohi!!

Good to see you back Larry....

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by tsisqua:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by HayateAce:
Nice move Larry,

Accountability will go a long way towards a real recovery. The real danger for you in the coming months will be if/when the storms start calming and things begin to smooth over. That is when any addiction will sneak up to see if you're still game for "just one." Find a local mentor who will be willing to meet with you periodically. Someone who you will really be honest with. Give your wife and kids transparent access to all your activities. Watch out for long blocks of unaccountable time alone.

Trust is knocked down in an instant, and can take years to fully restore....but it can happen.

Best wishes and prayers for you,

Hopeful. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

All very good advice. I've worked in nightclubs for years playing music, and I enjoy doing that. But I need to work with clean musicians, and different venues that are more family oriented like fairs, festivals and schools. My sponsor has become my big brother and spiritual mentor. I have an accountability partner who is also a musician, and see him at least two or three times a week outside of group. Most important is my higher power without whom I would be dead or in prison right now.

Thanks for your prayers.

Tsisqua </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


Good advice Hayate..
Larry I found that playing in my church once I got my act together and left N.Y. was the best thing I could have done. I enjoy my Sunday mornings better than any Saturday night I ever had...

fabianfred
11-19-2008, 09:46 PM
nice to see you again...
lots been happening whilst you were gone....as you are discovering

M_Gunz
11-20-2008, 12:02 AM
Now you are in a position to see yourself and others in ways you could not have before, right?
So that means your time along this difficult journey was not a total waste by any means.
There are others who scorn those who have been through any kind of mill and reduced as a result,
I've taken abuse in PM's from one such here before but he was and probably is a sick SOB.
What people say.. "You'll get that.". If it happens to you, don't take it to heart.

Non Legitimi Carborundum! You are a better person for your ordeal and you've proven that here!

knightflyte
11-20-2008, 12:13 AM
Wow. A blast from the past... and even more important a fresh wind in the forum. You've been thought of omn many occassion by this poster. You always had a fair and even manner in your posts.

Continued good luck and well wishes in your recovery, Tsisqua.

Am I mistaken that your wife was ill for a while too? If so I hope she is well.

Tis very good to see you back, Tsisqua. I hope you'll be visiting more, but I understand there are many more pressing issues that take precident to an on line forum.

Vacillator
11-20-2008, 02:55 AM
Quite a story - glad you're straightening things out http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

I don't think you have much to apologise for here, certainly not to me as you've always been a helpful and friendly sort.

Anyway, welcome back and enjoy the new planes, maps, sounds etc. etc. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

WTE_Ibis
11-20-2008, 04:46 AM
Good to see you back tsisqua.
All the best from Oz.

huggy87
11-20-2008, 05:17 AM
Welcome back. I had wondered what happened to you, but so many old regulars are gone now I just thought you had moved on. Glad to hear you are taking control. Best of luck.

blairgowrie
11-20-2008, 06:31 AM
Larry,

Did you ever get a high speed connection or are you still on dial up?

Worf101
11-20-2008, 06:42 AM
Good to see you back. No apologies necessary, life happens. All that matters is that you're clean, sober, healthy and happier... Hang in there budd...

Da Worfster

tsisqua
11-20-2008, 08:22 AM
BC!!!!
Yeah, Man! I'm playing for my church's worship service every Wednesday night before our recovery group meets. It's called the Strong Tower, from a bible verse. Also, I will be playing with a different group for the upcoming men's retreat (something the guys from the church do every year in Dec.) We've been rehearsing in front of the teen mission there on Saturday nights. And lastly, I am playing this Sunday morning during our regular church service. You are definitely correct: its been a great way to not only keep on my musical toes, but to see something good come from my music. On the other hand, it had been my only income for so long that I simply must be able to do it for living. So that's why I mentioned other venues where some money could be made. Berry, I was really hoping that you would still be here. It's good to hear from you, and thanks, Man!

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Larry,

Did you ever get a high speed connection or are you still on dial up? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Still on dialup, BG http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/compsmash.gif. Hopefuly that will change very soon.

I spent a little time last night playing with the mods pack. My daughter is a post secondary options HS student at the university where I used to teach, so while I was out there yesterday I downloaded the mods from one of the office machines. I had trouble (at first) as it started with that v.4.09b1m thingy, and my pc doesn't like it. I went back to the AAA site and found that there was a reference to a new "readme" file in the root folder which came with this. I'm alway complaining: "WHY DON'T PEOPLE READ THE README? THAT'S WHY IT SAYS README!" http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_redface.gif I felt a bit "sheepish" about that one. I switched back to 4.08 modded, and voila! Man, the Merlins really sound like the Merlins I have heard at airshows! And is it just me, or have the new FM's given the ai a good bit more in the way of offering me a challenge? And there is a map of Italy . . . Italy!!!!! BoB!!!!!!!!With London!!!!!!!! Are people flying this alot online, particularly in squad matches? New Flyables!!!!!!!! Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suffice it to say I'm flabergasted!

Those of you who said we were in your prayers, thank you.

Those who wished us well, thank you.

Those with valuable advice, thank you.

I've always loved all you guys, even the cranky ones. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-mad.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Tsisqua

HayateAce
11-20-2008, 09:57 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Bearcat99:


Good advice Hayate..
Larry I found that playing in my church once I got my act together and left N.Y. was the best thing I could have done. I enjoy my Sunday mornings better than any Saturday night I ever had... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

At the end of the day when the dust settles from the opinion wars, most of us on this forum have quite a bit in common. I know many of us would hit it off quite well at an airshow or Lan party.

Just like Kocour, we are not all guaranteed a tomorrow. Because of all of you that post here, this place is funny, maddening, odd, entertaining and sometimes even human.

&lt;S&gt; to you all.

victor51
11-20-2008, 10:22 AM
Thanks to the program I have 3.5 years without a drink, that was after 11 hard years of twisting and turning hoping I didn't have to do that crap. I had a heck of alot of fun in my previous life, but sure paid for it. Don't forget where you come from, its your greatest asset.

triad773
11-20-2008, 11:16 AM
Meetings, meetings and more meetings helped me at one time overcome some usage issues. Especially in the beginning they helped me a lot.

I know it is dah suxxors but I also know it gets better over time. Hang in there and stick with the winners http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Wishing you every success

Triad

SlickStick
11-20-2008, 11:25 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by HayateAce:
At the end of the day when the dust settles from the opinion wars, most of us on this forum have quite a bit in common. I know many of us would hit it off quite well at an airshow or Lan party.

Just like Kocour, we are not all guaranteed a tomorrow. Because of all of you that post here, this place is funny, maddening, odd, entertaining and sometimes even human.

&lt;S&gt; to you all. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh my....did you fall and hit your head recently?!?! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif

He, he, J/K. Well said, HayateAce. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

HayateAce
11-20-2008, 12:44 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by SlickStick:

Oh my....did you fall and hit your head recently?!?! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif

He, he, J/K. Well said, HayateAce. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

That's quite alright, and well earned.

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

My competitive and opinionated nature tend to get in the way of good relations. I would never have imagined visiting a forum for a PC game this long, but it's been fun and I appreciate the community.

I wonder where BoB will take us?

SlickStick
11-20-2008, 01:12 PM
Hopefully, "To infinity and beyoooooooooooond!"

Xiolablu3
11-20-2008, 02:08 PM
Congrats on the first steps to recovery. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

The poppies gave me particular troubles... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/disagree.gif

AWL_Spinner
11-20-2008, 09:03 PM
Nice to see a familiar name from the "good old days" reappear; although I suppose, hearing this, they weren't necessarily the "good old days" for you!

All the best fella, I hope you continue to conquer the adversity you've been dealt, and that it remains in your rear-view!

Tab_Flettner
11-20-2008, 09:51 PM
Good luck to you and all the best. I've missed your avatar.

Sturmtrooper
11-20-2008, 10:04 PM
It's good to see you, Tsisqua.
Welcome back.

I feel like the "wheel of sturmovik" has come full circle.

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif

Copperhead311th
11-21-2008, 07:46 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-surprised.gif Oh wow. Man. i was wondering what happend to yas. damn bro. I KNOW what your going through in a way. If you ever need some one to talk to, or even just somebody to listen....pm me i'll give you my numbers. anytime day or night. Serously. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

Don't worry about us man. Just focus on you. becuse untill you get you right...nothing else will be.

p1ngu666
12-08-2008, 08:54 AM
goodluck mate http://media.ubi.com/us/forum_images/gf-glomp.gif

Crazy_Goanna
12-08-2008, 09:32 AM
Hi there,
I sadly to say can relate to that cr@p, both personally and as a spectator of friends abuse so I can truthfully and happily say that it is good to see you pulled through and came back to the good life.
We all have to get rid of the demons that are at the root cause of the slide into booze, drugs and the darkside of life.
Focus on your children as a means to retain your strength when the demon comes knocking again.
(Usually at those moments that you either feel low or that the other times that you feel-- 'you have got them totally beat so one more time ain't going to hurt')
What I am saying you already know-- stay on guard and refocus your strengths.
you'll be cool in the end
Good to see you back mate.

Monguse
12-08-2008, 10:41 AM
Tsisqua,

Glad you are back and on a good road. All the best to you and your family during your your recovery.

Old_Canuck
12-08-2008, 01:10 PM
I always appreciated your helpfulness and upward-looking attitude, Tsisqua. This is my third post here in over a year so I'll use it to say my prayers go with you as well.

SkyChimp
12-08-2008, 07:08 PM
I remember you!

BSS_Goat
12-09-2008, 11:04 AM
D@mn all the old crew is back ..... Good luck Tsisqua.

jakeand
12-09-2008, 11:44 AM
I remember you! #2

All the best!

jake

RedToo
12-09-2008, 12:45 PM
Welcome back Tsisqua. I'm glad you're OK. I remember you well from the days when I lurked but didn't post. Your 'show your rig' thread was epic. I bet if it surfaced now there would be some old looking kit in it!

RedToo.