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JohnsHomegirl
02-11-2008, 07:40 AM
Alright guys, I just started my new job as a hostess at Red Lobster last week and encountered a big problem already.

So far I love my job, and have even made some friends, but I had a wrench thrown into everything.

Friday night I sat a couple down at a table and continued to walk to the front to continue my job when one of the waiters stopped me and took me to the side. He pointed out the woman and told me, "See that woman over there? If you ever see anymore women with low cut shirts like that, bring them to my table." I felt very uncomfortable at this point, but I just said ok and went about my business. Even though I wasn't going to adhere to what he said, we're not allowed to deliberate with waiters and pick and choose based upon the people, but I didn't want any trouble, so I pretended like I was going to listen to him. Anyway, I worked a 13 hour shift Saturday, and basically had trouble from the beginning.

Saturday morning this woman and her children came, so I sat them at a table that just so happened to be that same waiter's table. He took me to teh side again and said, "I don't want no F'n kids at my table. If you bring F'n kids to my table I will cuss you out, Melonie!" Instead of standing my ground like I shoudl have, I just cooperated because I was scared. However, when I walked past him throughout the day I wouldn't look at him or anything, because he freaked me out. After walking past him a couple of times, he said, "You don't walk past me without acknowledging me." I didn't want him to sense my fear, so I smiled and said ok. Even though I still continued not to. So after a couple more times he grabbed my arm and said, "You ain't going nowhere without acknowledging me." I tried to walk away even after he grabbed my arm, but he wouldn't let go, so I quit resisting. I didn't want to make an episode in front of all the guests. I just laughed and he handed me his tray, randomly, considering I never have to touch a tray. I put his tray up and went about my business normally. Later on he asked me if I was scared of him, and I said no, because I didn't want him to know.

Last, but not least, he was inapropriate with me again that night. I was stationed up front taking names down for the waiting list. The waiter needed to get something out of the podium, and he needed me to move. Most people withh touch yoru shoulder or something to give you the idea, but instead, he patted me on the side of my butt. I didn't know who it was at the time, since I was talking to a guest, and if it was one of the women there I wouldn't have thought anything about it really, but when I moved I noticed it was him, and I didn't respond at all since I had a guest there talking to me.

So that's that. I called John and told him after I got back from work that night, and needless to say, he freaked out... to say the least. He was ready to call Red Lobster right then and there, or my Dad, one or the other. It was late though, I worked nearly 13 hours that day, so I was ready for bed, I had to get up early for church in the morning. So anyways, I told Mom yesterday (Sunday), and after I got home from church, they were going out to lunch, and I guess she told Dad then. She called me and said, "You need to call your manager, your dad is at Red Lobster right now, I couldn't stop him." Dad was infuriated and talked to the manager about it. So I called, they told me I needed to submit everything in writing, etc.

After that I wrote everything down, went to work, and gave it to the manager. He took me into the office with another manager and I told them both everything yet again. They told me that they were going to do an investigation, and that this was not going to be tolerated.

So that's that. I'm about to get ready for work now and am kind of nervous. Sorry to vent like this, but I'm nervous about going to work, and I can't talk to John about it because he's still sleeping and apparently his phone is turned down or something, because he's not answering. But anyways, I just needed to vent, this has been very hard for me. It's nto fun being in this position, but I'm making the best of it that I can.

Mom and Dad told me I should have been more aggressive, and if he ever does anythign like that again, I need to stand my ground. There's a bunch of people there, so he can't do anything in front of all them. So I'll keep that in mind from here on out.

Thansk for listening guys. http://media.ubi.com/us/forum_images/gf-glomp.gif Love y'all! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/inlove.gif

JohnsHomegirl
02-11-2008, 07:40 AM
Alright guys, I just started my new job as a hostess at Red Lobster last week and encountered a big problem already.

So far I love my job, and have even made some friends, but I had a wrench thrown into everything.

Friday night I sat a couple down at a table and continued to walk to the front to continue my job when one of the waiters stopped me and took me to the side. He pointed out the woman and told me, "See that woman over there? If you ever see anymore women with low cut shirts like that, bring them to my table." I felt very uncomfortable at this point, but I just said ok and went about my business. Even though I wasn't going to adhere to what he said, we're not allowed to deliberate with waiters and pick and choose based upon the people, but I didn't want any trouble, so I pretended like I was going to listen to him. Anyway, I worked a 13 hour shift Saturday, and basically had trouble from the beginning.

Saturday morning this woman and her children came, so I sat them at a table that just so happened to be that same waiter's table. He took me to teh side again and said, "I don't want no F'n kids at my table. If you bring F'n kids to my table I will cuss you out, Melonie!" Instead of standing my ground like I shoudl have, I just cooperated because I was scared. However, when I walked past him throughout the day I wouldn't look at him or anything, because he freaked me out. After walking past him a couple of times, he said, "You don't walk past me without acknowledging me." I didn't want him to sense my fear, so I smiled and said ok. Even though I still continued not to. So after a couple more times he grabbed my arm and said, "You ain't going nowhere without acknowledging me." I tried to walk away even after he grabbed my arm, but he wouldn't let go, so I quit resisting. I didn't want to make an episode in front of all the guests. I just laughed and he handed me his tray, randomly, considering I never have to touch a tray. I put his tray up and went about my business normally. Later on he asked me if I was scared of him, and I said no, because I didn't want him to know.

Last, but not least, he was inapropriate with me again that night. I was stationed up front taking names down for the waiting list. The waiter needed to get something out of the podium, and he needed me to move. Most people withh touch yoru shoulder or something to give you the idea, but instead, he patted me on the side of my butt. I didn't know who it was at the time, since I was talking to a guest, and if it was one of the women there I wouldn't have thought anything about it really, but when I moved I noticed it was him, and I didn't respond at all since I had a guest there talking to me.

So that's that. I called John and told him after I got back from work that night, and needless to say, he freaked out... to say the least. He was ready to call Red Lobster right then and there, or my Dad, one or the other. It was late though, I worked nearly 13 hours that day, so I was ready for bed, I had to get up early for church in the morning. So anyways, I told Mom yesterday (Sunday), and after I got home from church, they were going out to lunch, and I guess she told Dad then. She called me and said, "You need to call your manager, your dad is at Red Lobster right now, I couldn't stop him." Dad was infuriated and talked to the manager about it. So I called, they told me I needed to submit everything in writing, etc.

After that I wrote everything down, went to work, and gave it to the manager. He took me into the office with another manager and I told them both everything yet again. They told me that they were going to do an investigation, and that this was not going to be tolerated.

So that's that. I'm about to get ready for work now and am kind of nervous. Sorry to vent like this, but I'm nervous about going to work, and I can't talk to John about it because he's still sleeping and apparently his phone is turned down or something, because he's not answering. But anyways, I just needed to vent, this has been very hard for me. It's nto fun being in this position, but I'm making the best of it that I can.

Mom and Dad told me I should have been more aggressive, and if he ever does anythign like that again, I need to stand my ground. There's a bunch of people there, so he can't do anything in front of all them. So I'll keep that in mind from here on out.

Thansk for listening guys. http://media.ubi.com/us/forum_images/gf-glomp.gif Love y'all! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/inlove.gif

pinkcar36
02-11-2008, 08:05 AM
i was gonna say that you should tell the manager that is on duty, that guy sounds like he needs a anger and sexual harrassment course or maybe even fired. he sounds like a total jerk, i dont know if they have a security camera where you work at but if they do can they get anything from that? well anyway i whish you luck hun. hope he gets what he desreves!!!

RoaringMad Mac
02-11-2008, 08:58 AM
Stand your ground. If he starts anything with you just motion for the Manager. If he tries to do things not in the presence of the other waiters or customers. Just stand you ground and tell him to leave you alone. Make a scene about it. The number 1 thing that resterant does not want is someone around disrupting business. You don't worry about getting fired that ain't going to happen. They can't fire you now anyway since a complaint has been made.

Like I said again Stand your ground and tell the manager everytime something happens. Believe me this guy is a class a Jerk. He will try to intimidate you every time he gets a chance but will chicken out around other people. Just keep communications with a manager and have someone around when you leave.

CoastalGirl
02-11-2008, 10:46 AM
I can imagine how bad that would be... I'm really tall, so I generally don't get messed with, but if I do, I don't back down - if a guy even tried to touch me, they'd lose their hand, along with their ability to father children.

Have you ever taken a self-defense class (not that I think you should necessarily beat the **** out of him; having that knowledge can just help make you feel more confident in situations like that)?

Jackie Fiest
02-11-2008, 11:46 AM
Melonie, you are dealing with a psycho. I mean, you are just a normal person so I see no reason for you to have to acknowledge his existence. You did the right thing going to your manager. I used to manage a restaurant and that's what I would have hoped my employees would have done. This guy is going to have a hard time collecting tips from women with low cut tops when he doesn't have a job. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

ThePheonix1030
02-11-2008, 01:43 PM
I'll beat him up for ya. That jerk http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif


This guy does sound kind of crazy. Some serious manner/polite issues he's dealing with. Is he an ugly man? Just curious http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

Jason-Bourne223
02-11-2008, 02:03 PM
Wow, they should fire that jerk. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

MadamTampini
02-11-2008, 02:03 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-mad.gif That makes me mad. No one should ever be treated that way.

insanity76
02-11-2008, 02:09 PM
Needless to say you're doing/you did the right thing by going to the manager about it. Here's to the lowlife s.o.b. getting fired. Typical vain, arrogant p.o.s. primitive male jerkweed.

JohnsHomegirl
02-11-2008, 03:20 PM
Thanks for the support everyone. http://media.ubi.com/us/forum_images/gf-glomp.gif

@Phoenix. This guy's kinda old, like late 30s - early 40s. And personally, I think he's ugly. I don't know how relevant that is, but yeah. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

Just got back from work. I saw the man this morning, and he was staring right at me, standing where I needed to be to put my coat up. I put my coat on another table instead and pretty much ignored his existance.

Anyways, he had to leave because the managers put him on suspension until they get to the bottom of this. No one knows except for the managers, me, and him now. The other crew members are talking amongst themselves, wondering why that particular waiter wasn't there, but I never told them anything, I let them just talk about it lol. I don't want to cause any gossip or anything.

The general manager took me into his office and asked me about any witnesses that may have been present. It was awkward for me, because honestly, I have no idea who saw anything. I wasn't paying attention to who I was around when all that happened, so I really don't know. I told him some people that I knew were waiting tables around the area, so they may have seen something, but other than that I did not know. The manager told me that he faxed my letter to the official Red lobster people, whatever you call them, and they were going to give their suggestions of what should be done.

So I guess we'll see... For now I'm still going to work here, but I might end up finding another job. First of all, I want to feel safe where I'm working, and secondly, I don't want to be in the middle of a bunch of drama. So we'll see what happens.

Thanks again for all your support. http://media.ubi.com/us/forum_images/gf-glomp.gif

WhiteKnight77
02-11-2008, 04:10 PM
Make sure you document the dates and times that he accosted you with what he said or touched you. Document the fact that you reported him to your managers and to whom that magager is and on what day.

Hopefully they fire him as it is unprofessional for waiters to be drooling down a customers blouse. No man should touch you at work whether a fellow employee or a customer. He is a typical boor and exhibits typical boorish behavior.

It is good that you reported him to your managers. I wonder how many other waitresses he has accosted as he has you though. I hope that the others are questioned about it too. The demands he has made of you may very well have been made of others. Waiters have no say in who gets seated at their tables or whether your not a fellow employee should acknowledge them.

I hope you don't have to quit as it seems as if you would like your job if it weren't for him. Hopefully he is fired so you can stay.

Gypsy816
02-11-2008, 05:30 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by pinkcar36:
i was gonna say that you should tell the manager that is on duty, that guy sounds like he needs a anger and sexual harrassment course or maybe even fired. he sounds like a total jerk, i dont know if they have a security camera where you work at but if they do can they get anything from that? well anyway i whish you luck hun. hope he gets what he desreves!!! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Uh yeah pretty much. When I was a waitress I had some lady come in with her underage kids who she was letting smoke and she said her son thought I had a nice ***. Sexual harrasment filing time! Got their asses right out the store.

Anyway I'm sorry you had to deal with that. It's a really frustrating topic.

savior2006
02-11-2008, 06:14 PM
Mel, you are too good to take that kind of ****, and I doubt that anybody knows that better than your family and us. Do what everybody says and the asswipe should be out the door in no time.
Good luck with the job. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/inlove.gif

GrImReApEr192
02-11-2008, 06:42 PM
I vote everyone pulls money together for a ticket for John too fly in,give Melonie a hug,and then open a can of whoop *** on that guy.

MeloniesHomeboy
02-11-2008, 06:55 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by GrImReApEr192:
I vote everyone pulls money together for a ticket for John too fly in,give Melonie a hug,and then open a can of whoop *** on that guy. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh I was ready to get on an airplane right that second when she told me, I felt like I could of literally killed the guy right there if he was near me, ive never felt that way ever before, people that know me, know im a super laid back person, but WOW, I could killed the dude right then and there. Anyways, I hope they fire the dude and would rather Melonie not work there anymore just for the fact that he knows where she would be if he wanted to try anything.

ThePheonix1030
02-11-2008, 07:45 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by JohnsHomegirl:
Just got back from work. I saw the man this morning, and he was staring right at me, standing where I needed to be to put my coat up. I put my coat on another table instead and pretty much ignored his existance. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Talk about awkwardness http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif


If he doesn't get fired, then it's gonna be uncomfortable working there. Wouldn't want you to quit the job you enjoy to do, though...

VTAssault
02-11-2008, 09:39 PM
My sister is currently going through something similiar, some dude she works for (at her college she's an apartment assistant) and this dude is a total ******/sleeze bag. He calls her constantly, picks on her, abuses her (not physically), and just is a plain old piece of ****.

She finally got fed up on it, and is threatening the school with a lawsuit because he does it to ALL the girls. It isnt even the first complaint.

Anyway, It seems like your followed the proper course of action melonie.

Three step rule, 1.)Warn a superior 2.)If problem persists, warn the offender 3.)If no action is taken by superiors, and no attention heeded by perpetrator

KICK HIM IN THE NUTS!

Im not kidding, if he is sexually harassing you, or even talking to you in a way you find inappropriate I dont think anybody will be angry at you for doing it (except maybe management for disrupting, but hey they had their chance).

When I worked as a dishwasher at a Chinese restaraunt, this server dude was a complete ******* to me (and he always came to work high). Luckily he quit about a month and a half after I started, but he was on the path to some part of the three step program.

savior2006
02-12-2008, 08:00 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by ThePheonix1030:
If he doesn't get fired, then it's gonna be uncomfortable working there. Wouldn't want you to quit the job you enjoy to do, though... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think avoiding the risk would be worth finding a new job, though. You gotta put distance between those types of people if you can. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

l31ade
02-17-2008, 12:11 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">This guy's kinda old, like late 30s - early 40s. And personally, I think he's ugly. I don't know how relevant that is, but yeah. Razz </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

lol