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Psychfilm
09-28-2005, 02:25 PM
~A lone U-Boat Captain fighting a battle of wits in the Atlantic€¦completely unarmed

Taken from the personal War Diary (Kriegstagebuch) of Captain J. Smitlack

Shore Leave
12 November €" 8 December 1940

Leave passes rather uneventfully. Which means that I am face down for most of it. I report in for U-1€s next patrol.

9 December 1940

I don€t feel well. Truth be told I don€t feel well at all. I order the crew to load 2 T-I€s and three T-II€s before heading over to the doctor.

The doctor diagnoses my condition as a severe hangover and recommends more beer as a remedy. We head down to the pier. The winter wind whipping through the docks chill me to the bone. U-1 is scheduled to depart just after noon. I order the diesel engines Flank Ahead so that we can tear out of the harbor like the cool guys we all are and move down below to get plastered with the doctor ignoring the cheer of the groupies who have gathered on the pier. We are heading for BE 39. It is the farthest we have ever been out in the Atlantic and I have trouble finding it on the chart at first.

The crew and I spend the next several hours drinking and singing songs about drinking. My favorite goes€¦

AND WE€LL FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
AND WE€LL DRINK DRINK DRINK
AND WE€LL FIGHT AND WE€LL DRINK

I think that repeats several times or it might just have been the hollow echo I heard in my head. I head up top around 22:40 to see how things are going and make a startling discovery.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1nightdeparts.jpg

We€re still tied up to the pier. A small cluster of groupies, who probably stuck around just to see how long it would take us to figure out that we were still stuck to the pier, laugh and wave at me. They laugh harder when I order All Stop.

I ask the Chief if we can still make it with all the fuel we€ve wasted. He says not a chance. We will be stranded out in the middle of the Atlantic if we head out with our current fuel levels. I move around the bridge restlessly the wind whipping my coat and cutting through me like€¦. well like a cold wind. My eyes fall on the U-boat docked across the pier from us, the U-54, they think they€re so smug with their full fuel tanks. I get an idea. I order my First Officer to swim over to U-54 and siphon off some diesel€¦ just enough to top our tanks off I don€t want to leave them completely in the lurch that just wouldn€t be nice.

As Number One gives me a dirty look and plunges into the icy water towing a fuel line behind him. I walk around the dock to ask the Captain of U54 if I might borrow a cup of sugar. The Captain is receptive and gives me a cup of sugar but makes me dance for it first. I almost start laughing when I see Number One choke on the fuel that he was sucking out of the other boats tanks but I keep a straight face, finish my dance and head back to U-1. I forget to take the sugar and when I go back to get it I have to dance for it again.

10 December 1940

The fuel transfer takes most of the evening. We get under way just before sunrise. Number One doesn€t look so good so I order him to his bunk and take over his watch. That€s just the kind of guy I am.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1Sunrise.jpg

Nothing else happens really. The air turns colder the farther from shore we get. We are steaming almost directly west heading for our patrol grid.

11 December 1940

Number one is found dead in his bunk. The doctor diagnoses it as a combination diesel fuel poisoning and hypothermia brought on by prolonged submersion in cold water. I tell the doctor he is mad. Diesel fuel can€t kill you and there is no cold water for miles around. Just to be on the safe side I take Diesel fuel off the menu and then stand my watch spending hours starring out at a vast ocean of icy water.

12 December 1940

02:59 we arrive at AN €"39 and begin our patrol.

In the bottom of my sea bag I spot an old holy sock and it dawns on me that there are two socks in every pair. This is Socko€s twin brother. I need a new first officer. I€d be crazy not to do it. I pull the curtain on my bunk and with needle and thread go to work. I emerge several hours later with my new first officer Sockmo. I am about to introduce him to the crew when he calls them all bagpipe hating sissy men with this thick Scottish accent. He then regales us for hours with tales of the highlands as well as busting our eardrums with some really horrible bagpipe music. When he finishes he stares at me long and hard with his single brass button eye before turning in.

13 December 1940
Our patrol of BE-39 appears to be a bust. I am just about to order a new course heading when the watch spots a ship on the horizon. It turns out to be a Tribal Destroyer.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/Tribalnight.jpg

I order us Ahead Slow down to periscope depth and rig for silent running.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1Submerge.jpg

We spend several anxious hours below as the Tribal circles before moving on. I overhear Sockmo asking the Chief about his brother Socko but am not able to make out what the Chief says back to him.

14:14 We surface into rough seas.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1StormySeas.jpg

I doubt we will spot anything in this mess but I set up a zig zig pattern search grid just the same. The crew eyes me warily.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/Stormylook.jpg

14 December 1940

We spend the day tossing about in the winter storm. Sockmo calls me a baby rocking bed wetter but says little else. Occasionally through out the day I feel a small spot of heat on the back of my head and when I turn I find only Sockmo€s eye burning a hole in me. It is almost as if he is bidding his time. Of course I could be just paranoid.

15 December 1940

Night begins to fall on another day of fruitless searching. I am just starting to think that we are going to be out here until Christmas when the watch spots a Coastal Merchant, again in the middle of nowhere without a coast within a hundred miles, plying the water off our port bow.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/CoastalMerchanttorpinbound.jpg

I don€t even bother to submerge. I just program a T-I and send her on the way.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/CMtorphit2.jpg

The crew lets out a cheer as the coastal starts to go down by the bow. Sockmo merely watches the fireworks from the bridge while puffing on his brother€s pipe. I ask him what he is thinking about but he only stares at the sea and then tramps down below. I am starting to get worried.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/CMgoingdown.jpg

The coastal slips into an icy watery grave and we continue on with our patrol.

16 December 1940

Sockmo seems to be in a slump as of late. I think that I will let him take command the next time we spot a ship. It is not good to have your laundry angry with you as I know all to well. (see any patrol with Socko)

It turns out I do not have long to wait. At 08:46 the watch spots a C3 cargo ship on the horizon.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/C3Storm3.jpg

I give Sockmo command of U-1 he orders that we submerge and we do. He sets up a two shot spread in the TDC and then moves to the periscope. At 8:52 the spread is fired.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/C3explosionthruP.jpg

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/C3stormPremature2.jpg

Both torps detonate prematurely leaving us with two torpedoes. Sockmo flies into a rage of cursing and through it all I am reminded so much of his brother€s use of the language, fowl language that is. He weaves a stream of curses into a violent quilt of shear hatred.

Sockmo orders us to the surface and Flank Speed Ahead. He fires the final two torps without even aiming and jumps on the megaphone to yell obscenities at the Captain of the C3.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/C3U1collide1.jpg

Sockmo orders up course corrections that put us right in the wake of the large ship. I holler to be heard over the wind, waves and megaphone but Sockmo is not hearing any of it.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1inthewake2.jpg

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1inthewake3.jpg

U-1 is ground under the water by the large ships propeller.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1inthewake4.jpg

I think to myself that this is a sad way to die and a stupid way to die, which makes it perfect for this boat and this crew.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1inthewake5.jpg

But alas it was not meant to be. U-1 bobs to the surface and I take over. I order the boat away. Sockmo continues to hurl curses at it as we pull away.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/C3frombridge1.jpg

With no torpedoes left we steam back towards Brest. Sockmo does not talk to me the entire trip back.

17 December 1940

We pull back into port having sunk only one ship the entire patrol. I blame the weather. Sockmo and the crew blame me. As if this wasn€t bad enough we find out that U-54 is lost at sea. Their last radio communication stated that they were out of fuel and drifting.

I head off to report and hope that we are not called back until after the holidays. I don€t think I could take another patrol that soon. As I head off the boat I wonder how much longer this war will last and if Sockmo will continue to be his affable self or if he may very well turn sinister in his intentions towards U-1 and I.

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif

Thanks as always to all of you who read the adventures of J. Smitlack. I haven€t posted in a while as I have been working on the book. I am happy to report that the 3rd revision is done and I am actively shopping it around to publishers. I will of course keep you posted as to what, if anything comes out of that. I was also considering posting on the BattleField 2 forum. That is not to be at this time. I am in the process of exploring possibly posting on the City of Heroes forum. That seems to be the direction I am heading in my gaming but I will of course let my fans, both of you, know when I start posting there. Thanks again. Keep hunting.

Psychfilm
09-28-2005, 02:25 PM
~A lone U-Boat Captain fighting a battle of wits in the Atlantic€¦completely unarmed

Taken from the personal War Diary (Kriegstagebuch) of Captain J. Smitlack

Shore Leave
12 November €" 8 December 1940

Leave passes rather uneventfully. Which means that I am face down for most of it. I report in for U-1€s next patrol.

9 December 1940

I don€t feel well. Truth be told I don€t feel well at all. I order the crew to load 2 T-I€s and three T-II€s before heading over to the doctor.

The doctor diagnoses my condition as a severe hangover and recommends more beer as a remedy. We head down to the pier. The winter wind whipping through the docks chill me to the bone. U-1 is scheduled to depart just after noon. I order the diesel engines Flank Ahead so that we can tear out of the harbor like the cool guys we all are and move down below to get plastered with the doctor ignoring the cheer of the groupies who have gathered on the pier. We are heading for BE 39. It is the farthest we have ever been out in the Atlantic and I have trouble finding it on the chart at first.

The crew and I spend the next several hours drinking and singing songs about drinking. My favorite goes€¦

AND WE€LL FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
AND WE€LL DRINK DRINK DRINK
AND WE€LL FIGHT AND WE€LL DRINK

I think that repeats several times or it might just have been the hollow echo I heard in my head. I head up top around 22:40 to see how things are going and make a startling discovery.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1nightdeparts.jpg

We€re still tied up to the pier. A small cluster of groupies, who probably stuck around just to see how long it would take us to figure out that we were still stuck to the pier, laugh and wave at me. They laugh harder when I order All Stop.

I ask the Chief if we can still make it with all the fuel we€ve wasted. He says not a chance. We will be stranded out in the middle of the Atlantic if we head out with our current fuel levels. I move around the bridge restlessly the wind whipping my coat and cutting through me like€¦. well like a cold wind. My eyes fall on the U-boat docked across the pier from us, the U-54, they think they€re so smug with their full fuel tanks. I get an idea. I order my First Officer to swim over to U-54 and siphon off some diesel€¦ just enough to top our tanks off I don€t want to leave them completely in the lurch that just wouldn€t be nice.

As Number One gives me a dirty look and plunges into the icy water towing a fuel line behind him. I walk around the dock to ask the Captain of U54 if I might borrow a cup of sugar. The Captain is receptive and gives me a cup of sugar but makes me dance for it first. I almost start laughing when I see Number One choke on the fuel that he was sucking out of the other boats tanks but I keep a straight face, finish my dance and head back to U-1. I forget to take the sugar and when I go back to get it I have to dance for it again.

10 December 1940

The fuel transfer takes most of the evening. We get under way just before sunrise. Number One doesn€t look so good so I order him to his bunk and take over his watch. That€s just the kind of guy I am.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1Sunrise.jpg

Nothing else happens really. The air turns colder the farther from shore we get. We are steaming almost directly west heading for our patrol grid.

11 December 1940

Number one is found dead in his bunk. The doctor diagnoses it as a combination diesel fuel poisoning and hypothermia brought on by prolonged submersion in cold water. I tell the doctor he is mad. Diesel fuel can€t kill you and there is no cold water for miles around. Just to be on the safe side I take Diesel fuel off the menu and then stand my watch spending hours starring out at a vast ocean of icy water.

12 December 1940

02:59 we arrive at AN €"39 and begin our patrol.

In the bottom of my sea bag I spot an old holy sock and it dawns on me that there are two socks in every pair. This is Socko€s twin brother. I need a new first officer. I€d be crazy not to do it. I pull the curtain on my bunk and with needle and thread go to work. I emerge several hours later with my new first officer Sockmo. I am about to introduce him to the crew when he calls them all bagpipe hating sissy men with this thick Scottish accent. He then regales us for hours with tales of the highlands as well as busting our eardrums with some really horrible bagpipe music. When he finishes he stares at me long and hard with his single brass button eye before turning in.

13 December 1940
Our patrol of BE-39 appears to be a bust. I am just about to order a new course heading when the watch spots a ship on the horizon. It turns out to be a Tribal Destroyer.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/Tribalnight.jpg

I order us Ahead Slow down to periscope depth and rig for silent running.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1Submerge.jpg

We spend several anxious hours below as the Tribal circles before moving on. I overhear Sockmo asking the Chief about his brother Socko but am not able to make out what the Chief says back to him.

14:14 We surface into rough seas.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1StormySeas.jpg

I doubt we will spot anything in this mess but I set up a zig zig pattern search grid just the same. The crew eyes me warily.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/Stormylook.jpg

14 December 1940

We spend the day tossing about in the winter storm. Sockmo calls me a baby rocking bed wetter but says little else. Occasionally through out the day I feel a small spot of heat on the back of my head and when I turn I find only Sockmo€s eye burning a hole in me. It is almost as if he is bidding his time. Of course I could be just paranoid.

15 December 1940

Night begins to fall on another day of fruitless searching. I am just starting to think that we are going to be out here until Christmas when the watch spots a Coastal Merchant, again in the middle of nowhere without a coast within a hundred miles, plying the water off our port bow.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/CoastalMerchanttorpinbound.jpg

I don€t even bother to submerge. I just program a T-I and send her on the way.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/CMtorphit2.jpg

The crew lets out a cheer as the coastal starts to go down by the bow. Sockmo merely watches the fireworks from the bridge while puffing on his brother€s pipe. I ask him what he is thinking about but he only stares at the sea and then tramps down below. I am starting to get worried.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/CMgoingdown.jpg

The coastal slips into an icy watery grave and we continue on with our patrol.

16 December 1940

Sockmo seems to be in a slump as of late. I think that I will let him take command the next time we spot a ship. It is not good to have your laundry angry with you as I know all to well. (see any patrol with Socko)

It turns out I do not have long to wait. At 08:46 the watch spots a C3 cargo ship on the horizon.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/C3Storm3.jpg

I give Sockmo command of U-1 he orders that we submerge and we do. He sets up a two shot spread in the TDC and then moves to the periscope. At 8:52 the spread is fired.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/C3explosionthruP.jpg

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/C3stormPremature2.jpg

Both torps detonate prematurely leaving us with two torpedoes. Sockmo flies into a rage of cursing and through it all I am reminded so much of his brother€s use of the language, fowl language that is. He weaves a stream of curses into a violent quilt of shear hatred.

Sockmo orders us to the surface and Flank Speed Ahead. He fires the final two torps without even aiming and jumps on the megaphone to yell obscenities at the Captain of the C3.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/C3U1collide1.jpg

Sockmo orders up course corrections that put us right in the wake of the large ship. I holler to be heard over the wind, waves and megaphone but Sockmo is not hearing any of it.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1inthewake2.jpg

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1inthewake3.jpg

U-1 is ground under the water by the large ships propeller.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1inthewake4.jpg

I think to myself that this is a sad way to die and a stupid way to die, which makes it perfect for this boat and this crew.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/U1inthewake5.jpg

But alas it was not meant to be. U-1 bobs to the surface and I take over. I order the boat away. Sockmo continues to hurl curses at it as we pull away.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/Psychfilm/Patrol%2014/C3frombridge1.jpg

With no torpedoes left we steam back towards Brest. Sockmo does not talk to me the entire trip back.

17 December 1940

We pull back into port having sunk only one ship the entire patrol. I blame the weather. Sockmo and the crew blame me. As if this wasn€t bad enough we find out that U-54 is lost at sea. Their last radio communication stated that they were out of fuel and drifting.

I head off to report and hope that we are not called back until after the holidays. I don€t think I could take another patrol that soon. As I head off the boat I wonder how much longer this war will last and if Sockmo will continue to be his affable self or if he may very well turn sinister in his intentions towards U-1 and I.

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif

Thanks as always to all of you who read the adventures of J. Smitlack. I haven€t posted in a while as I have been working on the book. I am happy to report that the 3rd revision is done and I am actively shopping it around to publishers. I will of course keep you posted as to what, if anything comes out of that. I was also considering posting on the BattleField 2 forum. That is not to be at this time. I am in the process of exploring possibly posting on the City of Heroes forum. That seems to be the direction I am heading in my gaming but I will of course let my fans, both of you, know when I start posting there. Thanks again. Keep hunting.

WilhelmSchulz.-
09-28-2005, 02:36 PM
Not another Sock offcer! And can you ever keep a human first offcer. Great story. But still GET A BIGER BOAT!!! You could duke it out with DD's. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif
P.S Good Luck with the book.

Kaleun1961
09-28-2005, 02:42 PM
Hilarious reading! I can't help but wonder what "fowl" language Sockmo would sound like: $%&$ quack! *%@# honk!

Good luck shopping the book. Hope to hear from you again, soon.

Celeon999
09-29-2005, 02:43 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif

Psychfilm is back again !

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif

2 socks in every pair. I should had known it. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

But in every twin pair there is an good and an evil one.

Now the horrifying question is.......

Was Socko really the evil one ?

OR IS IT SOCKMO AND THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET MORE OUT OF CONTROL THAN THE TIME BEFORE ? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Dominicrigg
09-29-2005, 07:28 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I think that repeats several times or it might just have been the hollow echo I heard in my head. I head up top around 22:40 to see how things are going and make a startling discovery.

We€re still tied up to the pier. A small cluster of groupies, who probably stuck around just to see how long it would take us to figure out that we were still stuck to the pier, laugh and wave at me. They laugh harder when I order All Stop. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

LMAO! Everyone at work was looking at me like im mad as i read this. I kept laughing away to myself. Thats too funny! Dont tell me i have missed previous episodes of this stuff.

Very funny man im impressed, a nice writing style and wicked sense of humour.

U107Wolff
09-29-2005, 01:40 PM
As usual http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

The_Silent_O
09-29-2005, 03:12 PM
Hmmmm...Silent_O begins to wonder what pair of socks he put on today?

...Looks suspiciously below desk at boots...

Nice Ploy...cup of sugar, eh?

Don't succumb...Keep Old U-1 forever, I want to see U-1 all souped up with the Schnorkel in radar in 1945 duking it out with the allied best....by then they might have 'synthetic' socks! (aliens!) http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Daloten
09-29-2005, 06:17 PM
Funny post. I too like drinking songs, but I never remember the words.

Yen Lo
09-29-2005, 08:01 PM
Great to see you back!!!!! Thanks for keeping us posted!!! Good luck with the book.

Gunnersman
09-29-2005, 08:04 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Wow...
Where have I been?
Your in a class all your own.

zuluDROOG
09-29-2005, 11:01 PM
Hahahaha! Creativity abounds! I gotta find the rest of this stuff... need more... need MORE! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Skarphol
09-30-2005, 05:18 AM
That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time!! It's slightly embarrasing to sit at your desk at work, laughing silently on your own, but I just did...

Skarphol

Psychfilm
09-30-2005, 03:16 PM
Hey Everyone,

Thanks for the wonderful replies. I'm glad you enjoy the stories. I will post the links to the other stories when I get back to work on Monday. Have a great weekend and keep hunting.

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif

Psychfilm
10-03-2005, 08:35 AM
Hey Everyone,

Hope you all had great weekends. Here is the link to the other Noob Patrols. Thanks so much for reading and I will do my best to keep posting. Take care and as always happy hunting.

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

Noob Patrol 1
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/ubb.x/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/7781002923

Noob Patrol 2
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/ubb.x/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/4491040033

Noob Patrol 3
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/ubb.x/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/4551034033

Noob Patrol 4 (Christmas Patrol)
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/ubb.x/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/1401047033

Noob Patrol 5 (Roman Holiday)
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/ubb.x/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/3111072133

Noob Patrol 6 (The Untimely demise of Ping Pong)
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/ubb.x/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/6081000233

Noob Patrol 7 (Socko€s Madness)
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/ubb.x?a=tpc&s=400102&f=857101...201016233#9201016233 (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/ubb.x?a=tpc&amp;s=400102&amp;f=857101043&amp;m=9201016233&amp;r=92 01016233#9201016233)

Noob Patrol 8 (Rise of Captain No Pants)
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/ubb.x/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/5431071333

Noob Patrol 9 (The Return of Socko)
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/ubb.x/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/9941079333

Noob Patrol 10 (Merchant War)
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/ubb.x/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/1541020533

Noob Patrol 11 (Socko€s Revenge)
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/ubb.x/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/5251080633

Smitlack Returns
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/5861040443

Noob Patrol 12 (Unsound Judgment)
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/...831032643#4831032643 (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/4831032643/r/4831032643#4831032643)

Noob Patrol 13 (Unlucky Yeet)
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/1771018743



Noob Patrol 14 (2 Socks in Every Pair)
http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/8171038163