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View Full Version : What IS the noobiest question of all time?



SkyChimp
11-29-2004, 08:26 PM
I nominate:

"Do I need a joystick for this game?"

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

georgeo76
11-29-2004, 08:38 PM
"why is my gunsight off center?"

RedDeth
11-29-2004, 08:49 PM
"what does noob mean?"

SkyChimp
11-29-2004, 08:52 PM
Should we provide answers to these questions?

steve_v
11-29-2004, 08:57 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SkyChimp:
Should we provide answers to these questions? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>No. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

How do I end a mission?

GR142_Astro
11-29-2004, 08:59 PM
Seen often online:

"Where is the fight?"

Second place is also seen online, though not a question:

"Help."

WTE_Galway
11-29-2004, 08:59 PM
where can i download free aircraft ?

ZG77_Lignite
11-29-2004, 09:56 PM
'Which plane is the best?'

And in my own opinion, all the questions are legitemate, and people shouldn't feel bad about asking questions. Just because they've been answered ad-infinitum+1 times doesn't mean they are any less puzzling to someone who doesn't know. We were all new once, even Skychimp, or so it is written in the registration dates http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Gibbage1
11-29-2004, 10:18 PM
"How do I raise the landing gear in the Ju-88/P.11c/J8A/Val?"

For Netwings/IL2 Center, its

"How do I download/install these aircraft?"

Gib

tttiger
11-29-2004, 10:22 PM
Astro,

I've been flying sims for more than 10 years and I still ask: "Where is the fight?" if the guys I am flying with are such dolts that they can't give a contact call (BRA = Bearing, Range, Altitude from a known point).

Someone who just types "Contact" or "Tally" without any additional information, well, they probably fly only in "every man for himself" DF arenas.

I have long advocated banning the word "noob." Newcomers are welcome in my book. Labeling them is high school stuff.

At least they have the guts to fly on line. I think I've seen Sky Chimp on line exactly once http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Where's the fight?

ttt

Bearcat99
11-29-2004, 10:22 PM
Who's Oleg?

This thread is all in fun... hey we NEED noobs..... Sort of like Raisins at Great Lakes.

Copperhead310th
11-29-2004, 10:45 PM
"how do i rearm?" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

VMF-214_HaVoK
11-29-2004, 10:51 PM
Alright whos cheating!!!!! (Nobody is cheating...thats lag) Dont tell me nobody is cheating my game just told me there is cheating going on!!! Liar!


http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

GR142_Astro
11-29-2004, 11:57 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by tttiger:

Where's the fight?

ttt <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I was just posting in an all-in-fun thread. Seems that fine print disclaimer is going to become the norm from now on. Of course newcomers are welcome. I envy that the game is still new and fresh for them, and am still one myself in a number of areas.

For the record, I always tell the ppl asking where the fight is if I can, and I always answer the cries of "Help" trying to get their map coords and alt.

Disclosure:
All words found within this post are the property of GR142_Astro and may not be reproduced without the written consent of the FAA, USCF, NFL and NCAA. No animals were harmed in the creation of this post, and no harm was intended towards human beings, implied or otherwise.

Member FDIC.

Maj_Death
11-30-2004, 12:19 AM
1) Why doesn't the gunsight work in german planes?

2) How do I end the mission?

3) Why does the Fw-190 suck so much?

4) How do you find enemies with icons off?

5) How do I rearm?

Tully__
11-30-2004, 12:22 AM
It's a toss up between:

"How can I drive the tanks?"

and

"How do I fly an F-16 in this game?"

WTE_Snowhawk
11-30-2004, 01:01 AM
There's oil on my windshield, how do I clean it off?

Why does my plane roll when I pull up?

Where's the radar screen?

The_Ant
11-30-2004, 01:15 AM
In pf the favourites are.

How do i get the landing gear up (wildcat or I-16)
Why cant i start/fly away from the carrier(chocks)

Why is my Sight Black (ki-43 or sbd or val)

Does the combat flaps make you turn tighter.

And the ultimate favourites i have seen online in aep or Fb is.

How do i Chat. LOL (i laughed too death almost)(after a second later the person answered that he meant chat within the same team).

How do i Start the engine. (whooa)

Dolemite-
11-30-2004, 02:03 AM
"The I-16 landing gear is broken, they better patch it or im going back to CFS 2!"

"What is Crimea? Is it a country"

"P-80 but no Mig-15/19/21/25 ?"

DIRTY-MAC
11-30-2004, 02:13 AM
PLEASE CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT WWII STANDS FOR?

tsisqua
11-30-2004, 02:38 AM
"Can I see my house on the Smolensk map?"

or, (as a whine) "Why can't I see my house on the Smolensk Map? It was there during the war!"


Nobody loves new guys more than:
Tsisqua (Who still has a noob question once in awhile http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif)

Schutze_S
11-30-2004, 03:08 AM
"Who is Bob?"

Asked by myself http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Howie A
11-30-2004, 03:25 AM
That is funny Schutze, I've seen it before and was thinking of that. You're not the only one who's asked... but you are a real guy http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

dieg777
11-30-2004, 03:44 AM
IS the noobiest question of all time
"What IS the noobiest question of all time?"
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

dieg777
11-30-2004, 03:51 AM
or is it

"IS the noobiest question of all time
What IS the noobiest question of all time?"

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

or is it..........

"or is it

IS the noobiest question of all time
What IS the noobiest question of all time?"
I think iv just invented the perpetual motion thread

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/1072.gif

bazzaah2
11-30-2004, 03:59 AM
when's Il-3 coming out?

Maj_Death
11-30-2004, 04:02 AM
Silence you. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-tongue.gif

knightflyte
11-30-2004, 04:21 AM
Bazzaah2 said:
when's Il-3 coming out?



NO FAIR... I WAS DRINKING OJ.......
(goes to clean up monitor and keyboard) rastafrasta!!! ruckin sum bum!!! stinkin!!! ....

I'll get you!

MajorBloodnok
11-30-2004, 05:41 AM
"Your kidding. The Russians were fighting on our side in World War 2? LOL!111111"

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-mad.gif

AlGroover
11-30-2004, 05:48 AM
What's wrong with my plane? I can't hit anything.

TooCooL34
11-30-2004, 05:51 AM
"Is TrackIR that good?"

Monty_Thrud
11-30-2004, 06:03 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> when's Il-3 coming out?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
A true classic...however cereal is quite painful when being spat through your nose, please give warning next time ty http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

One quote online a couple of years ago was "are there any cheats for this game" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif i replied, sure press Ctrl + E...this gives u more cannon...5 secs later 5 people bailed out http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

Stanger_361st
11-30-2004, 08:03 AM
How do I map the (Any Key).

BBB_Hyperion
11-30-2004, 08:41 AM
Hmm maybe some of these to add.

-Since il2 my stick is uncentered plane drifts off to the side special on take off.

-My engine sounds damaged after i engage mw50.

-why my plane is so much slower than all others ?

-Is there any better plane than La7 / ki84c ?

gombal40
11-30-2004, 09:28 AM
posting in orr
I just mailed oleg that the bar in a 190 is to big. I just know he will fix it soon.

The190Flyer
11-30-2004, 09:53 AM
LOL great one's fellas, but my favorite is still. "Come down here and fight like a man!!" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif
The MW50 is also one of the best. Can't forget
"Why do my engine's catch on fire in the 262 when I throttle up http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif?"

S! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

WOLFMondo
11-30-2004, 10:01 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bazzaah2:
when's Il-3 coming out? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Capt._Tenneal
11-30-2004, 10:02 AM
" What does WTF (or IBTL, IMHO, etc.) mean ? " http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Unburied_Nat
11-30-2004, 10:07 AM
"Do you need the Internet to play online?"
"Why does my monitor go black when I turn the plane- Is this a bug?"
(You can see the class of people I'm flying with)

Chuck_Older
11-30-2004, 10:12 AM
I can't finish the Dam level in FarCry. How?????

ABQc_Shark
11-30-2004, 10:27 AM
S!

Another 1

"There is a bug, when my pilot got shot and die, my screen goes black. Do you know when there will be a patch to correct this"

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

NorrisMcWhirter
11-30-2004, 10:51 AM
Hi,

A few I've come across:

"Why are you cheating? Your plane is for cheaters."
"Why not try it?"

(Few minutes later)

"That plane is rubbish - it takes ages to turn..this server is full of cheaters"

-------

As said, 'Help' is a good one...You reply with 'Alt and location?' and you get back a 'who me?' or 'what is alt?'

Cheers,
Norris

Capt._Tenneal
11-30-2004, 11:06 AM
Another popular one nowadays : " How do you get PERFECT water ? You know, like what's on the box. Help ! "

swingman
11-30-2004, 11:14 AM
And of course the classic "Why does Oleg hate X so much?" Substitute X for any plane or country (I think I've seen them all.)
_
/Bjorn.

Gato__Loco
11-30-2004, 11:59 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SkyChimp:
I nominate:

"Do I need a joystick for this game?"

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif I don't have a joystick... and I've been playing this sim since IL-2 came out.

Gibbage1
11-30-2004, 01:09 PM
"Who is BoB?"

Sir.Robin-1337
11-30-2004, 01:42 PM
"How does Sr.Robin kick so much ar$e?!"

A. He flies the Mustang, you point virgin!

blue_76
11-30-2004, 01:52 PM
"OK. I start on the runway and push the the throttle forward, but the dumb plane wont even start!"

"Whats a taxi? U mean to say pilots had taxies? So I have to drive a taxi to get to the plane?"

Cajun76
11-30-2004, 02:01 PM
"Did the Mustang win the war?"


To which I always reply, "The Mustang was the noob who was firing at the LW after the Jug shot it's wing off."

But possibly the best one of all time:

"CFS3 any good?" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/784.gif

John_Stag
11-30-2004, 02:57 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> What IS the noobiest question of all time? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Where's the 'ON' switch?

LeadSpitter_
11-30-2004, 03:19 PM
What IS the noobiest question of all time?

bird_brain
11-30-2004, 03:34 PM
Who is LOL? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif

VMF-214_HaVoK
11-30-2004, 04:52 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bazzaah2:
when's Il-3 coming out? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif classic

SkyChimp
11-30-2004, 06:12 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Holy cow, this thread took off! Yes, it's all in fun.

jamesdietz
11-30-2004, 08:42 PM
I don't know , but I'm relatively sure I asked it.....

ImpStarDuece
11-30-2004, 10:56 PM
"do i need a joystick to play this game properly?"

"where is the gladiator?"

bolillo_loco
12-01-2004, 12:09 AM
I have seen a few guys in the hyper lobby ask where they can down load this sim. they are always shocked when they find out they have to buy the game.

my favorite is, "how do I join a game?"

BM357_Raven
12-01-2004, 12:34 AM
why is everyone so mean to me?

And

how do I get this ape off my system?

LeadSpitter_
12-01-2004, 12:54 AM
Good one havok it made me crackup.

WTE_Ibis
12-01-2004, 01:16 AM
Could it be "What is the noobest question of all time". http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

WTE_Ibis
12-01-2004, 01:20 AM
Bugger have just noticed someone allready said that,sorry. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif

dieg777
12-01-2004, 04:51 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/351.gif
another entry to the never ending question http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/53.gif

Stonerox
12-01-2004, 06:20 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Gibbage1:
"How do I raise the landing gear in the Ju-88/P.11c/J8A/Val?"

For Netwings/IL2 Center, its

"How do I download/install these aircraft?"

Gib <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I guess you ment Ju-87???????? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Worf101
12-01-2004, 02:01 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chuck_Older:
I can't finish the Dam level in FarCry. How????? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now THAT wasn't funny. It took me darn near a solid week of gaming to kill them varmints and Mercs. Not funny...

Not funny at all!!!!

Da Worfster

Typhoon_Timmy
12-01-2004, 06:39 PM
"How do i make my plane teleport like that guys?"

Herr_Rausch
12-01-2004, 07:37 PM
This thread should have been locked since day one.
There is an underlying culture in the flight sim community wich reflects the real world flying communinity;"I'm great, you suc, go away"

In real world aviation anyone will sell out there own mother for an Airline job, even if it means chucking baggage.

Here in the flight sim world the tone is the same. You call new players "NooBs" and treat them like dirt. You tease and troll, and when a new player asks a question you boggle them with stupid return questions.

No wonder this forum is considered a joke amongst the entire flight sim realm.

GvSAP_Wingnut
12-01-2004, 07:44 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Gibbage1:
"Who is BoB?" <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ROFL... reminded me of an old joke. Don't think I should post it here though http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Capt._Tenneal
12-01-2004, 07:50 PM
Whoops, somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed today.

Not everyone here likes to discuss climb rates and .50 cal dispersion or dot size in 3.02mb all the time. Sometimes we need a funny thread to lighten up the mood. I've been a 'noob' and in some ways still am and I've asked 'noobish' questions myself. The difference is I know how to laugh at myself and don't get too serious all the time. I'd rather read and reply to topics like these than another Oleg -bashing -whining ramble. Just my 2 cents.

(sorry for the diversion, carry on with the great questions)

Bull_dog_
12-01-2004, 09:01 PM
how about "why doesn't my print screen button work?"

VF-29_Sandman
12-01-2004, 10:26 PM
how about...how do i shoot down planes in deflection. LOL http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif
another 1: how do i start engines in the twin engine planes(in complex engine management servers)

wayno7777
12-01-2004, 10:51 PM
In two weeks?

Cajun76
12-02-2004, 02:45 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr_Rausch:
This thread should have been locked since day one.
There is an underlying culture in the flight sim community wich reflects the real world flying communinity;"I'm great, you suc, go away"

In real world aviation anyone will sell out there own mother for an Airline job, even if it means chucking baggage.

Here in the flight sim world the tone is the same. You call new players "NooBs" and treat them like dirt. You tease and troll, and when a new player asks a question you boggle them with stupid return questions.

No wonder this forum is considered a joke amongst the entire flight sim realm. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So which one did you ask? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Seriously, the only stupid questions are usually the ones not asked. Then agian, there are help threads, links and tutorials aplenty, but I never hesitate to try and answer any and all questions from new guys, or older hands discovering new things. I also read quite a bit and learn my fair share too. The only reason this place might be considered a joke is apparently someone is allowing you to post unsupervised.... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

sapre
12-02-2004, 07:25 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr_Rausch:
This thread should have been locked since day one.
There is an underlying culture in the flight sim community wich reflects the real world flying communinity;"I'm great, you suc, go away"

In real world aviation anyone will sell out there own mother for an Airline job, even if it means chucking baggage.

Here in the flight sim world the tone is the same. You call new players "NooBs" and treat them like dirt. You tease and troll, and when a new player asks a question you boggle them with stupid return questions.

No wonder this forum is considered a joke amongst the entire flight sim realm. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Open a dictionary and look for: h-u-m-o-u-r, "humour" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

D-XXI
12-02-2004, 10:32 AM
Who are the knights who say "NI"?

beze7
12-02-2004, 10:42 AM
The title question of this thread is my nomination. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

MajorBloodnok
12-02-2004, 10:44 AM
+3

Hiriyu
12-02-2004, 02:42 PM
Noobiest question I've asked:

"What makes these so-called 'Noob-Planes' (LAs, PBs etc) a 'Noob-Plane'?"

Best response to above question (was this you SkyChimp?):

"Any plane is a Noob-Plane if it's being flown by a Noob."

NawlinzVoodoo
12-02-2004, 07:34 PM
Yours! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

WTE_Gog
12-02-2004, 10:18 PM
What does S` mean? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

darius779
12-03-2004, 02:17 AM
So... Whos going to write the FAQ? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

BSS_Goat
12-03-2004, 05:56 AM
What does IBTL stand for?
Whats the deal with the rubber chickens?
Are ya'll insane?