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View Full Version : Let's make a deal!



Sgt_Starbuck
08-17-2005, 08:16 AM
Okay, I'll quit my rotten job and play only in realtime with 100% realism. No time compression and I'll sleep near the computer in case the captain is needed. Now, to do this I'll need $100 a month from each of you guys but but I'll keep you all posted on my adventures via e-mail. Is this a great deal or what?!

Sarge

ILikePortillos
08-17-2005, 08:31 AM
That sounds like a bargain at any price. You know, I was thinking, what we really need is a full time Captain. Glad we finally had someone to step up to the plate. Would you possibly need a war correspondent on board? I'm growing tired of my job and could use the time off. I'd only need to be on for a patrol or two. I promise I won't require to much in the way of provisions.

bogusheadbox
08-17-2005, 09:40 AM
Flak gunner reporting for duty sir!

L.Sword
08-17-2005, 09:42 AM
Intriguing idea. There are, of course, a catch or two... I'm sure this has been covered in another thread, but ICBA to look.
These are a few catches that popped into my head:

1. You have to do all your shopping before the patrol. If you run out of food, then... well, start chewing your shoes.
2. No smoking (not that I do, but I try to cover all the possibilites here) inside the sub. You never know if the LI has forgotten the batteries on charge mode and are boiling the cells... Nasty.
3. For extra realism, share the loo with 50 other people.
4. No showers, unless you are on a XXI. If you live near the sea/a lake you can take a bath there, but don't talk to anyone and don't pause the game.
5. You are limited to one beer per patrol, more if you steal your crewmembers bottles.
6. Turn off your cellphone. Communicating with the "real" world would be unrealistic, and they give away your position anyway.

KaosxMeach
08-17-2005, 09:42 AM
Oh Oh...can I be the one that that gets to order the food for the sub...you know the guy that resides in port and fills in the forms?

http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

L.Sword
08-17-2005, 10:13 AM
Oh, almost forgot... I want to be BdU. Your orders are to patrol grid CG959 for 24 hours. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

Sgt_Starbuck
08-17-2005, 11:33 AM
You're all hired. Now we need about 40 others. We may need to raise the rate to $200 per month. I'm having a radio setup for communication. Did they deliver pizza to subs?

Sarge

L.Sword
08-17-2005, 11:44 AM
Hoorah for that!
IIRC they could bake bread on the milk cows, so why not pizza? I myself plan to stay at Kerneval though, and enjoy the good life in a french mansion http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

By the way, this was my first appearance here on the forum, so I guess I should say hello or something.
Hello!
There.

Dominicrigg
08-17-2005, 01:08 PM
OK i volunteer as radioman, tuning into dance music stations all day and piping Britney spears through to the crew to raise/lower morale!

Since radio isnt modelled very well i will have the easiest job http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif and i get to play with the enigma machine, and forget to throw it overboard when we get boarded by the Royal marines. Not that im a mole or anything... Hail hitler! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/1072.gif

Sgt_Starbuck
08-17-2005, 01:26 PM
Should we smuggle women on board?

Sarge
http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Maj_Solo
08-18-2005, 12:29 AM
This project is doomed if you don't get stinkhammer to do the shopping and the cooking. One of you guys have to wash all the dishes since as you have seen he has this very expensive 1600 or 1700 outfit.

Another thing that probably will cause this mission to fail is the other sex, it is the topedoes that should be greased not that other little thinky of yours. If you keep it dry your eye sight will be on its peak, not that other thing, too much of that and you can go blind you know.

You need some pros on this mission I can see that .....

Messervy
08-18-2005, 07:21 AM
to raise/lower morale!
At least you are honest! Sieg Hail!

Braunbecker
08-18-2005, 07:26 AM
who is stinkhammer ?

Stormbird_262
08-18-2005, 08:16 AM
Ill be the propaganda officer if you don't mind and ill write you all up as communists and have you all shot. HA HA HA just kidding but its the easiest job i'd just bludge around get in everyones way and stuff. Or ill be the sonar man if you don't want a prop-off aboard. I got 8 weeks leave up so as long as the patrol isn't too far im good.

EFileTahi-A
08-18-2005, 08:33 AM
Originally posted by Braunbecker:
who is stinkhammer ?

Well stinkhammer is a user of this forumn. Why do you ask? Did he also picked on you? LOL!

laineedog
08-18-2005, 09:38 AM
Sounds like a plan, but if you are going to do it right, you are going to have to implement some of these suggestions...Believe me most of them will accurately simulate shipboard life.

http://www.bluejacket.com/humor_navylife.html

Braunbecker
08-18-2005, 12:37 PM
Originally posted by EFileTahi-A:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Braunbecker:
who is stinkhammer ?

Well stinkhammer is a user of this forumn. Why do you ask? Did he also picked on you? LOL! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, I ASKED WHO HE IS http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif? are you stupid ?

L.Sword
08-18-2005, 01:22 PM
Originally posted by Braunbecker:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by EFileTahi-A:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Braunbecker:
who is stinkhammer ?

Well stinkhammer is a user of this forumn. Why do you ask? Did he also picked on you? LOL! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, I ASKED WHO HE IS http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif? are you stupid ? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think we have found a suitable first officer! EFileTahi-A: Are you feeling up to the task? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Sgt_Starbuck
08-18-2005, 02:01 PM
Originally posted by laineedog:
Sounds like a plan, but if you are going to do it right, you are going to have to implement some of these suggestions...Believe me most of them will accurately simulate shipboard life.

<A HREF="http://www.bluejacket.com/humor_navylife.html" TARGET=_blank>
http://www.bluejacket.com/humor_navylife.html (http://www.bluejacket.com/humor_navylife.html</A>)[/url]

I read that! Too much realism!

Sarge
http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Dominicrigg
08-18-2005, 02:02 PM
If stinkhammer is onboard i put in a request for a transfer.

I will be moved to repairs of the uboat, and i will leave a spanner in the induction valve http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

ohh **** there i go again giving the plans away... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/1072.gif

EFileTahi-A
08-19-2005, 04:32 AM
Originally posted by Dominicrigg:
If stinkhammer is onboard i put in a request for a transfer.


http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

EFileTahi-A
08-19-2005, 04:37 AM
Originally posted by L.Sword:
I think we have found a suitable first officer! EFileTahi-A: Are you feeling up to the task? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

EFileTahi-A rep.. report... AATCHUUUNG! AAAAAAATCHUUUUUUG!...reporting for duty sir!

Sir! I apologize for those new medals on your uniform sir!

dasgespenst
08-19-2005, 07:58 AM
PWEEEEase... let me be the guy who handles the Enigma machine. I've got good credentials: my boss tells me every day that I can turn the smallest tasks into something utterly unintelligible (his words...)

They'll never know what we're doing or where we're going http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/53.gif

L.Sword
08-19-2005, 09:02 AM
Hmm, Dominicrigg already volunteered for that position. Well, I guess it's Sgt_Starbucks decision in the end, but do we want a torture specialist or a cryptography expert? Maybe both?

dasgespenst
08-19-2005, 04:17 PM
Very true, L.Sword - I didn't read the part after the thing about women and the rise of......morale...

Anyway, I'd love to go, maybe I can take care of raising and lowering the periscope, paying due attention to the afore mentioned morale thing http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

Anyways, Sarge - if you read this - what's the name of the boat ? It's yours, so you get to decide - I'm sure evryone is curious http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/10.gif

Sgt_Starbuck
08-19-2005, 10:20 PM
Originally posted by dasgespenst:
Very true, L.Sword - I didn't read the part after the thing about women and the rise of......morale...

Anyway, I'd love to go, maybe I can take care of raising and lowering the periscope, paying due attention to the afore mentioned morale thing http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

Anyways, Sarge - if you read this - what's the name of the boat ? It's yours, so you get to decide - I'm sure evryone is curious http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/10.gif

The U-TOO
Bono just signed up.

Sarge

FI-Aflak
08-19-2005, 11:44 PM
if you get sunk you have to drown yourself in your toilet. Sorry.

TASKFORCE1x1
08-19-2005, 11:49 PM
Originally posted by Sgt_Starbuck:
Okay, I'll quit my rotten job and play only in realtime with 100% realism. No time compression and I'll sleep near the computer in case the captain is needed. Now, to do this I'll need $100 a month from each of you guys but but I'll keep you all posted on my adventures via e-mail. Is this a great deal or what?!

Sarge


To make it more realistic best to be in the basement wwhere all the leaky pipes are and if one bursts you surely will have to shore up the damage quickly or all is lost http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Messervy
08-20-2005, 12:33 AM
I am NOT paying 100 $ a month to a guy that cannot fix a leaky pipe.

Sgt_Starbuck
08-20-2005, 06:29 AM
Metal or PVC?

Sarge

blastomatic1759
08-21-2005, 07:00 PM
If im going on a boat its gonna have to be named das Bootinator or das Todesboot. Oh yeah im pretty good at steering and standing around and making it look like im working

Faamecanic
08-22-2005, 10:13 AM
I want to be the Chief Petty Officer in the engine room. IRL I am a jet mechanic, so Im already greasey and smelly...and somewhat crazy from inhaling petrol fumes http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/53.gif kinda like the dude in Das Boote (what did that captain say about Engineers http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif )

U107Wolff
08-22-2005, 01:01 PM
Heck, I got no life anyway: SIGN ME UP!!!

I volunteer to be watchmen. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

Sgt_Starbuck
08-22-2005, 01:18 PM
We need a medic. From what I've read they better be schooled in Geriatrics.

Sarge

Diggerless
08-23-2005, 09:26 AM
Surely Psychfilm should be logging reports... http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif