View Full Version : Oleg versus bill Gates

12-22-2004, 07:11 PM
Not too many moons ago a Flight Sim developers Council used to exist and for the inaugeral meeting the two main speakers were to be Oleg and Bill.....

On the morning of the summit, Oleg digs out his old leather flying jacket, goggles and leather skull cap, throws a white silk scarf around his neck jumps on his bicycle and heads towards the grass strip...

After carefully hand crankinkg the old radial engine over oleg jumps up into the cockpit of his 1930 bi-plane shouts "contact" and Mrs Oleg swings the prop, with a splutter and a huge cloud of oily smoke the old engine kicks into life... struggling to keep the old bird ( bi-plane not mrs Oleg) straight he coaxes the rickety ship into the air......

Setting a course for the convention he just about manages to cruise at 105 Knts (indicated) at1500 ft, strong headwinds made Oleg realise he was gonna be late for the council and was wonderin what to do when all of a sudden.........

Woosh a Silver lear jet with M$oft logo plastered all over the fuselage swoops past at 500knts... Oleg just has time to look at the registration... it was B_GATES....

Oleg fights to keep the flimsy biplane under control as the wash from the Learjet throws him around, Cursing Bill he realises that his ship is getting away from him and with a cry of "I hate you Gates" our hero augers into the ground.......

On his final ever flight upto the Gates of Saint Peter, the master of combat sims knocks on the pearly gates and none other than St. Peter himself answers the door...
"Name please"
"Oleg Maddox"
"The Oleg Maddox of IL2 and Forgotten Battles and Pacific Fighters?"
"er... Yes" replied a sheepish Oleg
"welcome " cried st Peter "we have been waiting an eternity for a developer of your stature"... " i do believe the big G wants to talk to you about an idea he has for a Mediteranean Sim"... " but in the meantime pick any cloud you like and you can stay here in peace and harmony for eternity ( no forums up here)"
Oleg thinks for a moment and then asks Peter... " well I could live in peace and harmony but I need to know one thing first"... "OK shoot" prompts Peter
"Well you must promise me that BiLL Gates is never gonna get into heaven"...
"Now Let me see" ... "nope No Bill Gates in My List".... "If he ain't on my list then he ain't comin in period"
Oleg brethes a sigh of relief and takes his place on a very nice cumo-nimbulus with excellent views.....

All is peacefull in heaven for nearly 2 weeks then just as Oleg is settling in for a PF session on Hyperlobby........

Woosh a silver Learjet mith M$oft logos blasts past at 50 ft... Oleg glances up as he was blown off his cloud and sees the registration B-GATES.... this is too much ...Peter promised me...

In a furious mood Oleg storms through reception and into St. Peters Office....
"You Promised me that Bill Gates wasn't coming to Heaven" Yells Oleg... " I was sitting on my cloud (the one with the nice view) and this silver Learjet with M$oft logo's flew so low it knocked me off my cloud... the registration was B-Gates"... whats he doin here?

"Calm down" said Peter " You got it all wrong"..."Thats not Bill Gates".... "Its just God he thinks he is Bill Gates"

Happy Holidays all


12-22-2004, 07:30 PM

12-22-2004, 08:07 PM
Why do you people hate that man so much?

"an idea he has for a Mediteranean Sim"

is going to be released in your all hated bill gates published game. How ironic.

12-22-2004, 08:58 PM
Although iv'e never seen what oleg looks like i think he could take ole bill ! Bill looks a little scrawney and with all that $ he's probably a little soft ! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Also competition only makes it better for us!!
Bring em all on !!

12-22-2004, 09:39 PM
first thing that popps into my mind is HALO

that game was first developed for PC, and was about 75% done, when MS bought Bungie, and gave them a substantial amount of money for deleying the PC release by 6 months, so the Xbox ver. could be made and sold.

2. thing: MSie 4 (yes the mouse) that mouse only has ONE above, the Razer Mamba, but stil. overal due to a crappy mousewheel, it's on last place. i don't want it even if i was payed 1000$ by MS to use it.

3. MS is too big, neuff said

12-22-2004, 11:06 PM
No offense Fritzofn, but as a Mac user I claim first dibs on being pissed about MS buying Bungie. The X-Box would be a hideous failure without Halo as an exclusive. When that left the PC/Mac market what were we left to look forward too ? Duke Freaking Nukem ?

12-22-2004, 11:59 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Fritzofn:
that game was first developed for PC <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

incorrect, it was a MAC game 1st.

12-23-2004, 03:30 AM
Perhaps I shoulda put...

THIS IS A JOKE GUYS.... Meant to make ya SMILE..

Please note the carefull corruption of corperation trademarks.... not havin my A$$

Chill Guys


12-23-2004, 03:55 AM
Then I accuse you formally of...

TRADEMARK CORRUPTION! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-mad.gif

Now leave the gun on the table and follow me... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif


12-23-2004, 01:52 PM
they should definatly team up and also get the xplane designers.

Would be the best flightsim ever

olegs models, cockpits, water, ammount of well made content, anti cheating system, damagemodels look, aircraft skin dls

but have 4 fields for them

pilot skin
aircraft skin

and have them loadup not in game but during the games loading process, each time map changes the new skins load up for current users at higher speed instead of messing with in game play.


microsofts, dynamic weather, full world terrain, sounds, cem, changable droptank selectors, fuel dump, dive speeds, energy management, stick pressures, torque effect, stability of landing gears and all the great visual effects it has.


xplane physics team all alts, cem dive accelaration sounds etc

Janes WWII fighters in game menu theater and museum section along with overstressing airframes, sounds as well.

To me that is what the perfect wwii sim would be.

People from all countries having equal say in aircraft specs and when somthings overmodeled all voting on the solution.


12-23-2004, 02:01 PM
Bill Gates probably doesn't care one whit about the M$ flight sims. The M$ hombre you should focus on is Paul Allen, I think. He even collects old warbirds for his MUSEUM (http://www.flyingheritage.com/TemplateTopImages.aspx?contentId=36)