View Full Version : Tales of the Inadvertent Pacifist part 1

02-25-2006, 07:22 PM
Adventures of The Inadvertent Pacifist

By Richard B. Scott
Chapter 1: The Great Jewelry Store Heist of 1943

What€s the difference between a fairy tale and a sea story?
One begins with, €Once upon a time€¦€,
The other begins with, €œThis is a no-****ter€¦€.
Old sailors joke

This begins the chronicles of my Father, Ray Scott, a non-chronological account of his adventures in World War 2. My father was born on June 1, 1923 on the railroad tracks at 3rd St. in San Mateo, California in a 1923 Buick my seafaring grandfather had bought after paying off from a voyage. Considering his father€s occupation and the location of his birth, my father could be said to have been born with the wanderlust. Moving to San Francisco as a child & following his father down to the sea in ships in 1939, Ray was 2 days out of Pearl Harbor as an able seaman aboard the SS Lena Luckenback on Dec. 7, 1941. As a merchant seaman at the outbreak of the war, his job was deemed critical to the war effort so he received a draft deferment for the entire war. Since his job turned out to consist of taking invasion troops and supplies to the invasion beaches, then dropping them off, you can see how they would make that decision. Of course, no decision is forever, but that story and it€s consequences are for another chapter.

This tale concerns Ray and his fellow shipmate & San Franciscan, Dudley. Dudley later became a rodent inspector for the City of San Francisco and was renowned for tending bar for years in the old Jack Tar Hotel on Van Ness Ave. while he was on city time. This story concerns their adventures in New York City in late fall of 1943. Having returned from the Mediterranean Theatre after the invasions of North Africa, Sicily, Salerno and Anzio, Ray and Dudley had been in the Big Apple for 2 months. By this time, they had pretty well blown all the cash they paid off their ship with and had another ship lined up in San Francisco. Unfortunately, for them, they Had blown all their cash and had to find some travelin€ money quick. Between the 2 of them, they had a total of 50 cents & had been locked out of their hotel room until they could pay the back rent.

Now both Ray and Dudley were known to have a larcenous streak in them as both were products of the San Francisco Reform Schools of the €˜30s. So Dudley hatches this scheme to knock over a jewelry store in Manhattan for a big score to get out of town. Unfortunately, 50 cents would not buy them the arm they needed for the armed robbery. So Dudley€s idea is to wear this great overcoat. Instead of a rod, he purchases the biggest banana he can find and stuffs the fruit into his coat pocket simulating a weapon. Now my father was 5€7€ tall but weighed 170 lbs of muscle. Dudley, on the other hand, was 5€11€ and weighed 150 lbs soaking wet. However, Dudley figured his greatcoat would make him loom larger for the shock value. So they decide that Dudley will be the €œtriggerman€ while Ray will act as lookout as he was more non-descript.

So the duo proceed to the Diamond district and a small shop on one of the side streets that Dudley had cased the day before. It was a late October day with a threatening sky & the taste of the 1st snow in the air. Ray, dressed in Frisco Jeans, a foul-weather jacket and his ubiquitous watch cap separated from Dudley, swimming in his greatcoat, at the corner as Ray took up his lookout position there while Dudley proceeded into the jewelry store, empty except for the older balding Jewish proprietor.

€œPut your hands up!€, ordered Dudley in his most menacing voice, pushing the banana against the coat pocket to accent his words.

€œDon€t shoot! Don€t shoot!€, cried the owner, throwing his hands in the air.

At that moment, Dudley begins to panic, afraid someone will see the owner with his hands up and call police.

€œPut your hands down!€, Dudley barked, getting more flustered while pushing the fruit once again for emphasis.

€œDon€t shoot! Don€t shoot!€, repeated the owner, dropping his hands like they were made of lead.

Then Dudley gets more flustered and thinks the owner may have a gun behind the counter.

€œPut your hands up! Put €˜em down! Put €˜em up! Put €˜em down!€, Dudley yelled in increasing panic and frustration as the owner, struggling to obey, moves his arms up and down like a windmill.

€œDon€t shoot! Don€t shoot!€, the owner repeats like a mantra.

Finally, Dudley gets so panicked that he pulls the banana out of his pocket, sticks it directly in between the owner€s eyes and screams,
€œGive me all your money or I€m gonna blow your ****ing head off!€

Through all of this, the owner, arms still waving up and down, eyes wide with fright, repeats the same words,
€œDon€t shoot! Don€t shoot!€

At this point, Dudley, panic-stricken, reaches across the counter and grabs all the bills from the ones slot of the till. Then, still holding the banana to the owner€s forehead, grabs for the nearest jewelry he can reach. In this case, a handful of $2 watch fobs, runs out of the store & around the corner to a subway station.
Right behind him, arms still windmilling, The owner followed. Only now the mantra had changed to,
€œHelp! Robbery! Police!€

By now, though, Dudley had made a clean getaway so Ray decides to hang around to see if the owner gave a good description. A few minutes later, one of New York€s Finest arrives on scene to take the report so Ray joins the small crowd outside the store. When the cop asked the owner for the description, the flustered old man described Dudley as 6€ 4€ tall, weighing over 250 lbs. With the biggest gun the owner ever saw, at least a .45.

When the 2 met up to divide the spoils their big score was $54.00 and another 30 in watch fobs. This turned out to be just enough for 2 bus tickets to San Francisco with a little left over for food. So onward they went to their next adventure.

Copyright Richard B. Scott 2005 all rights reserved

02-26-2006, 12:19 AM
Finally, Dudley gets so panicked that he pulls the banana out of his pocket, sticks it directly in between the owner€s eyes and screams,
€œGive me all your money or I€m gonna blow your ****ing head off!

I guess i'd fear a man threatening me with a banana more then one with a gun http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif