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catmeister
05-14-2007, 07:55 PM
It was a blustery January on the Atlantic Ocean. The German U-Boat glided majestically under the surface of the rippling water.

This U-Boat was captained by Heimlich Struganoff, the most famous captain in Germany.

Just then, Daniel Thomas, who was working on the periscope, called,
"Captain! Ship spotted about 39 to starboard!" The ship was soon identified - it was a Russian battleship.

"We must evade it, for we have no torpedoes or ammunition. Hurry!" Captain Struganoff ordered.

"Ack! Down periscope! Dive! Dive! Dive!"

50 metres below sea level...

The submarine crew thought they were safe at this depth. They shoudn't have been so sure, because that Russian battleship had sailed over where the submarine had dived. It was at this moment that the depth charges rained down. The crew thought they were done for.

<span class="ev_code_PINK">This is my first attempt at writing a story based on a submarine, so critique would be very much appreciated!</span>

hueywolf123
05-15-2007, 03:59 AM
You will find your best critic to be yourself. This is a very good effort and creates an instant picture, always try to 'hint' at atmosphere and let the readers imagination fill in the blanks.
Write, write and re-write in a word doc till you have the full story, then hit us with it.
I can't wait, bring it on......

flyingrabids
05-15-2007, 10:29 AM
cool story catmesiter http://media.ubi.com/us/forum_images/gf-glomp.gif

catmeister
05-17-2007, 06:27 PM
Thanks for your comments.

suad_199512
05-18-2007, 10:17 AM
Is there going to be a second part

catmeister
05-19-2007, 02:02 AM
Ooh, I dunno yet, Suad. What do you think?

flyingrabids
08-26-2007, 12:09 AM
Originally posted by suad_199512:
Is there going to be a second part

I bet so,suad buddy. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Foehammer-1
08-26-2007, 07:57 PM
Good story. One thing though... Russian battleships weren't able to get out into the Atlantic. The base in Kronstadt was blockaded in a way I don't know yet, and the Black sea navy was stuck in there as well. They had destroyers, minesweepers and other assorted craft guiding convoys though the Arctic into Murmansk and Archangelsk, but that's about it. Later in the war, the Black sea naby wento into the offensive, but mostly in the rivers... So no battleships unfortunately. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/10.gif

wh1skea
08-27-2007, 06:50 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gifI have this feeling that this trio aims to make fun of us and out taste of games. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif