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GIAP.Shura
09-17-2009, 01:27 AM
I have just learned that the vicar is coming for tea on Saturday afternoon and I have absolutely no idea what plane to use. Just for information, I will most likely be wearing yellow polka-dots and as far as ammunition is concerned I prefer to start with wafers to wear him down and then finish him off with custard creams.

Needless to say, any faux-pas could be fatal.

mmitch10
09-17-2009, 01:35 AM
TB-3 ftw

Comfortable, spacious armchairs to sit in and a handy pencil for crosswords.

Low_Flyer_MkIX
09-17-2009, 02:02 AM
My previous research might help (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/23110283/m/5291054384?r=5291054384#5291054384)

http://dogmouth.net/photos/nz/tourism/mid/mangaweka-plane.jpg

FI.Spitsfire
09-17-2009, 02:30 AM
This one:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/8235326.stm

AndyJWest
09-17-2009, 03:17 AM
Well, I'm sure the vicar wouldn't want to associate himself with any of those uncouth 'mod' tearaways, so you've got me stumped, really. Of course if we were to ask our mutual friend Oleg nicely, perhaps he could furnish us with a Supermarine Walrus:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/97/RNZAF_Walrus_NZ158.JPG/800px-RNZAF_Walrus_NZ158.JPG
This aircraft would be ideal, as if the weather is suitable, you could take the vicar for a trip to the sea-side, and of course it was designed for the express purpose of rescuing damp pilots, and bringing them home for tea and biscuits. I wonder if it has a kettle on board?

PS if Oleg can't help out, what about asking his friends the Daidalos chaps?

R_Target
09-17-2009, 04:23 AM
Short Sunderland, be sure. When the topic turns to tithes, you'll have somewhere to hide.

general_kalle
09-17-2009, 05:07 AM
Short sunderland yes.

very spacius and even supplies a Toilet aswell as a small Kitchen. will also make it possible to land on a nice lake somewhere,

WOLFMondo
09-17-2009, 05:51 AM
Originally posted by R_Target:
Short Sunderland, be sure. When the topic turns to tithes, you'll have somewhere to hide.

+1!

The_Stealth_Owl
09-17-2009, 06:36 AM
PBY, B-25 and P-11c.

RAF_OldBuzzard
09-17-2009, 06:44 AM
Originally posted by FI.Spitsfire:
This one:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/8235326.stm

BAH! Amature at best.

THIS is what a PRO can do:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xp2Uc9XvmjY

AndyJWest
09-17-2009, 07:39 AM
Originally posted by R_Target:
Short Sunderland, be sure. When the topic turns to tithes, you'll have somewhere to hide.
But how are you going to land it on the village green?

Walrus I say, Walrus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, having a funny turn there, need a quiet sit down with a cup of tea and a biscuit (and none of those 'Jaffa cake' pseudobiscuits either, thank you...)

x6BL_Brando
09-17-2009, 08:30 AM
When the topic turns to tithes, you'll have somewhere to hide.

Something fitted with an ejector seat ..... a Handley-Page Victor perhaps?

B

BRASSTURTLE
09-17-2009, 09:51 AM
Though it pains to do this.. I agree with Stealth Owl on the PBY, for the same reason reason the Sunderland would be good. Galley & head. If you pick the -5A, -6A or PBN, you would get wheels to land on the village green.

DuxCorvan
09-17-2009, 01:17 PM
Distract his attention while serving him tea with the help of a female assistant, and then you can hit him hard even with a Gladiator.
http://www.venelogia.com/uploads/got-milk.jpg

Oh no, R_Target was right: the topic has turned to "tithes". http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

major_setback
09-17-2009, 01:26 PM
Needless to say, any faux-pas could be fatal...

Yep. You can't beat a well aimed faux-pas.

Otherwise use a plain biscuit. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Or maybe one of these... I don't know what they are; but they look decidedly naughty.

http://delightfullyglutenfree.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/pigs-up-close.jpg

(I tried to find an innocent picture of a biscuit on the internet - but it was impossible http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-sad.gif).

Viper2005_
09-17-2009, 01:32 PM
No biscuit is innocent of original sin.

waffen-79
09-17-2009, 04:08 PM
hahah funny

more tea vicar?

R_Target
09-17-2009, 04:56 PM
Originally posted by AndyJWest:
But how are you going to land it on the village green?

Since the service introduction of the Para-Vicar™ system, landing is optional. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

Viper2005_
09-17-2009, 06:12 PM
Originally posted by R_Target:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by AndyJWest:
But how are you going to land it on the village green?

Since the service introduction of the Para-Vicar™ system, landing is optional. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

There will be none of that. Disrupting the Cricket is a <span class="ev_code_red">Deadly Sin</span>.

The Vicar shall be quite content to merely be present in Spirit, provided that the Spirit in question has been aged for at least 15 years in fine oak casks.

The Umpire is however warned that his Eternal Place is even now being warmed, and that there are limits to the degree of absolution that even the Holiest of Holy water may be expected to procure. He would do well to look to Matthew 18:9 for Guidance in these Difficult Times.

It hath been written that the Devil sends his Beast with Wrath, knowing that the time is short. Many of those claiming understanding have reckoned the Number of the Beast at 666, but the Vicar's recent theological research, gleaned from ancient texts and obscure glosses, indicates that that when the time is extremely short and modest, sombre and respectable attire has been discarded in favour of garish, sinful colour, 296 for 8 might in fact be equally as destructive to the Spiritual health of his Flock, though an alternative reading by certain modernist Theologians has it that the most corrupting of all False Prophecy is associated with the number 606 and the siren song of the Information Super Highway.

Which numerological concerns would bring the Vicar's train of thought naturally to the subject of Tithes, were it not for the fact that due to strike action he is suffering the indignity of a Replacement Bus Service.

We each have our Cross to Bear.

AndyJWest
09-17-2009, 06:49 PM
You surely aren't suggesting I'd disrupt the cricket with my Walrus! Do you take me for a Frenchman or something? I had every intention of landing during the tea interval (and close to the boundary too, I wouldn't like to be accused of damaging the crease or something).

I'm sure the vicar will have the manners not to debate theology during the cricket. Some things are too important to disturb with mere trivia.

R_Target
09-17-2009, 07:51 PM
Rover will not tolerate disruptions of Village routine.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/96/Rover.jpg

Freiwillige
09-17-2009, 07:59 PM
Well it depends on whom you ask. The Germans preferred Heinkell 111's and lots of them!

AndyJWest
09-18-2009, 06:56 AM
Originally posted by Freiwillige:
Well it depends on whom you ask. The Germans preferred Heinkell 111's and lots of them!
And as I recall, our Fighter Boys soon persuaded them that attacking during cricket-playing hours was likely to get us a little miffed. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Viper2005_
09-18-2009, 07:36 AM
Originally posted by AndyJWest:
I'm sure the vicar will have the manners not to debate theology during the cricket.

Impossible. Any Discussion of the Game itself is by definition Theological.