View Full Version : My Prince of Persia Fanfiction translated to english (at last XD)

09-25-2010, 10:17 AM
Well, after ... a long time thinking, i have decided to start translating my last fanfic. I still havent finished it in spanish, and i have one more to finish, but when i get bored i will translate it to english XD

I didnt think it would be so difficult as i have found out. I havent practiced my english in a long time. So if you find something without any sense, please tell me XD

Well, the story starts in WW, somehow i follow the line until i take it to other different line http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif In the spanish forums they like it.

I´ll leave you the prologue. (I must advice you that i love to change things from the original story and to make characters suffer xD)

Here we go ... I hope the words i had to look in the dictionary are well translated.




Much has been said about the Legends of the Sands of Time. Many are the stories told about them and the mythological creatures linked to this weird source of power. However, no ones are feared like specifically two of them. One of them is the Empress of Time. At a glance, the Empress doesn’t look like much more than a simple and harmless, beautiful woman. But the truth is quite different. When time started and the Timeline was born, a spirit of huge power was created that, among other things, could control time itself, manipulating it at its will. That spirit consisted of the Sands of Time, from where it got those skills. Every 100 years, the Gods met to see how things were going in the world of mortals. The Spirit of the Sands of Time was accepted in the Gods Family as the Goddess of Time. Centuries passed and the World of Mortals progressed. However, one day, the Goddess of Time, tired of seeing that the other Gods could use their powers while she couldn’t, decided to pull some strings in the Timeline, altering some events, destroying past. Preventing the Gods to find it out, she transformed herself into a very beautiful young woman and travelled down to the World of Mortals, seducing different monarchs to provoke then a war between their kingdoms and watch how they destroyed themselves. But the other Gods discovered her and stripped her of her charge of Goddess, and as punishment, the forced her to live among humans in that human being she used so many times to cause evil. Her powers got reduced and she was relegated from her position of Goddess until her life on earth was over. But it wasn’t so simple. If she wanted to retake her place, she would have to do something for those humans she caused so much damage before her death. So, she would get her place again. However, her pride was superior to her, and she continued creating chaos in the World of Mortals, killing them. She gained a reputation as a vile and ruthless killer, and she proclaimed herself the Empress of Time. The Gods, seeing that their plan wasn’t working, decided to apply a more severe punishment, sending the now Empress of Time to a lost island. The Goddess of Time was confined there inside the Empress of Time. Years passed and she created her own army of Sand Creatures. Some humans who knew of that Island went there to get the Empress’s head, but thanks to her power to see into the Timeline, which remained in her, she could anticipate to her enemies and kill them all.

The other creature is the Dahaka, the Guardian of the Timeline, a grotesque, dark being whose stomach sprout huge tentacles that drag his prey to a darkness cloud around him to make it disappear. This creature has no other target than ensure the safety of the Timeline, where the events passed and the events to take place are written. But this hasn´t been always this way. Long time ago, this creature terrified towns from different kingdoms, bloodthirsty. With a tens head dragon look, this creature had no foe. He destroyed everything in his path, going to a place from another hidden under the sea, swimming where he enjoyed the most, until the day when he found the ship where a powerful woman travelled. The Dahaka tried to destroy it and those who travelled in it, but that woman was too strong. As a punishment for his insolence, after beating him, the woman sentenced the Dahaka, transforming it into the monster the murals and writings of temples show, proclaiming him the Guardian of the Timeline, and so, depriving him of his freedom. But that wasn’t enough. She used her powers to transform the thing the Dahaka loved the most in a weapon against him: water. If he touched water, a horrible pain would run through his body. That woman, as you might think, was the Empress of Time, when she was free. Imprisoned, the Dahaka waited for the call of the Timeline to awake him, accumulating all his hate. With time, the Dahaka started to get impatient, because no one woke him up from his dream state and his rage grew more and more.


Thats the prologue. The first chap is longer than this, so i might take some days to translate it. I will do this faster now that my laptop broke down and all my information is away from me ... At least the hard disk didnt break down, that would be a problem O.O

So, until i get my laptop again, i will translate this story from the spanish forum.

Hope you like it http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

PS: If someone knows spanish and wants to try, i have uploaded in fanfiction my old POP fanfic (though i read them now and i say: did i really write this??? XD)

09-25-2010, 10:37 AM
Looks good so far. I like it. When will you post more?

09-25-2010, 10:44 AM
Originally posted by AurorsX:
Looks good so far. I like it. When will you post more?

As soon as I can trasnlate the next one ^^ Now that i have just started university it wont take me long time to do it. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

09-25-2010, 11:50 AM
It's a bit too vague to me, but I'll see where it's going for now =) Good luck!

09-25-2010, 12:11 PM
It's ok, but try to use the Enter key, so you won't get this holy wall of text and be hard on the eyes.

09-25-2010, 12:15 PM
Originally posted by UnDead_Knight1:
It's ok, but try to use the Enter key, so you won't get this holy wall of text and be hard on the eyes.

Its just in the prologue.

09-25-2010, 12:17 PM
I know, I'm just trying to give you advice on making it easier to read http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

09-25-2010, 01:24 PM
Why am I not surprised it's about Kaileena ? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif good job Cristi ! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

09-25-2010, 05:32 PM
Originally posted by Grafferu:
Why am I not surprised it's about Kaileena ? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif good job Cristi ! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Yeah, well ... All my fanfics have a Kaileena... And all of them change the events of "POP3" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/halo.gif But not in all she ends with the prince, huh.

09-26-2010, 02:59 AM
Nice. Kaileenabringers FTW.

09-26-2010, 02:54 PM
Awesome! I have one question though, what does the writing on the picture underneath your name mean? And how do you get a picture like that to go underneath your posts?

09-30-2010, 05:16 PM
Cristi this is awesome! You took me back into some of my favorite day dreams when i was playing ww. Please don't make us wait too long for your next post.

And oh yeah, whar Khaled said. I try to remember to hit the enter key every few sentences when formatting for e-media, and i always place each character's dialogue in its own line, if that helps. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

10-06-2010, 04:26 PM
Sorry people, my laptop broke down http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif I wont get it until this weekend. Luckily all the things inside could be saved. As soon as i get it i´ll translate another chap.

I have to use my friend´s one, and i cannot take it all day ...

10-17-2010, 04:58 PM
Um, so how's it going?

10-18-2010, 10:09 AM
My mother was so smart she didnt send me the hard disc with all the information saved, so i have to translate from the spanish forum ... I´ll try to bring it soon, college is taking all my time.

10-18-2010, 11:52 AM
I know what you mean. =)

06-14-2011, 12:00 PM
wooo ... it was difficult to find this thread ... I just wanted to say that since i´m out of the spanish forum (maybe forever) and the sequel of this story in spanish has 3 readers cos nobody comes there and the forum is dead, i´m going to give a break writing in spanish and i will translate finally this one, complete http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif As soon as i finish my exams next week!!!

I hope you guys read it, it took me more than 40 chapters with its prologue and epilogue http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif And i decided to write 3 stories after this one http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

I know the first chaps may be boring, but the story has won the fanart/fic/vid of the year in the spanish forum http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Will you read it?? Pleasee!!! I think i can bring a chat translated everyweek.

06-14-2011, 12:08 PM
Cristi! It's been a while =)

06-14-2011, 12:22 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Michae_lol:
Cristi! It's been a while =)[/QUOTE

Yeah XD I know XD

06-15-2011, 05:24 AM
Welcome back Kailee...err Cristi http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

06-15-2011, 11:44 AM
Yeah we'll read it, just post it http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

07-13-2011, 02:28 AM
Yeah yeah yeah yeah! I´ve done it!! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif In just two evenings I´ve been able to translate the first chap! (And now that I think that the first ones are the shortest ones I wanna die!!!! XD )

I´m so happy! ^^ Some parts where difficult for the grammar changes but I managed to change the words and leave the same meaning http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

So, here it is. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/typing.gif

Chapter 1: The awaken of the Dahaka

Some centuries passed since her exile, and the Empress had already created her own empire, the Island of Time. It was formed by soldiers and creatures of different forms.

The weakest ones were the Raiders, simple soldiers with skulls as masks that were more like servants. They used to walk through the castle, and if any danger appeared, they were the first ones to fall.

Then there were the Keepers, which looks reminded to pirates. They were the soldiers that watched over the Towers . Above them, there were the executioners in the Prison and the places around it. They were masters of torture.

The last ones were the Imperial Guard. Theses showed up when the Empress demanded it.

Also, in every zone, there was a greater creature that was their leader. In the Towers, the Golems; in the Prison, a Thrall, bigger than the Golems; In the Mystical Caves, an old Sanctuary, lived the Empress´s favorite one, the Griffin. It was her pet.

There were other creatures on the Island, like the Invisible Warriors, the Shadows, the servants, and the Soldiers, no stronger, but smarter.

Actually, he was only one soldier, but as he was formed by crows , he could make copies of himself and send them to watch over the Island in his place. The Empress called him the Crow Master. He was her faithful spy.

Above them all, Shahdee, the Empress bodyguard, was her right hand for decisions. She was her best creation, created from her own blood, very alike her, but darker.

Time didn’t run on the Island. The Empress made some Portals that transported those who passed through them from the Present Time to a Past Time where the Island remained just as it was when the Empress arrived there.

More than 500 years had passed, but life had not changed. Ships crashed with rocks, survivors were captured, tortured and killed, or were slaves until they died. The Empress had no piety. Inside her heart there was only hate.

So, we start our story on an usual day for the Empress of Time. In was early in the morning, and the last night, after a storm, a ship had sinked in the Present Time. While some soldiers counted the dead and captured the living travelers, Kaileena watched with Shahdee and the Crow Master near her.

Some women claimed for mercy hugging their children while the soldiers take their men away.

“Empress, the captain of the ship has survived.” Announced one of the soldiers, bringing a man with the help of other soldier. “It´s him.”

The Empress looked at him with contempt and disgust and then spoke:

“You have made a terrible mistake by coming here.” She said.
“We never wished to put our feet on this cursed Island.” – He denied.
“Pity, you´ve done it, and any of you will get out of here alive.” A smile appeared on her lips after these words. She turned to leave, but the human´s words stopped her.
“You´re a damn ***** …” – He cursed.
“What … did you call me?” She turned back with her eyes red of anger. Suddenly, the man started to feel a pressure on his throat that didn’t allow him to breath. “You should already know it. I´m the Empress of Time”

And with a small hand move, the pressure increased, breaking the man´s neck. After looking his dead body, she looked at the women, the children and the other men who were still alive.

“Kill them all.”

Suddenly, she felt something strange running through her whole body. She didn’t know what could it be. She tried to hide it to her minions so they wouldn’t be asking her what was going on. Shahdee came closer.

“Empress Kaileena, what should we do with the corpses?”
“Throw them to the Scavengers. They´ll know what to do.”
“As you wish, Empress.” She said, bowing.

Kaileena went to her room to think about what had happened. She had a headache, like if she was about to see a vision. She decided to go for a walk, thinking about everything happened in the last years. She really was the most feared woman in the world, she had a reputation.

It was a pity that she didn’t feel any love for the World of Mortals and its inhabitants. For her, being trapped in that human body was a hell, and to live on earth suffering the weakness of mortality was even worse. That world was a prison for her, and it would be so forever if she didn’t change.

She would never get old, she would never die for a natural death. Only if it was caused, death would happen. Since she wasn’t going to compensate humans for what she had done, if she died, her soul wouldn’t return to its place. She would disappear.

She had to keep danger away. She had great powers and huge knowledge of many things, and a powerful army. She had nothing to fear … or maybe yes?
As the day passed, Kaileena felt worse. Her head was killing her and she felt some illness though her body. She didn’t have much food for dinner and she went to bed soon.

After taking off her Imperial dress and getting clothed with something more comfortable to sleep with, she brushed her dark brown hair while looking herself into a mirror. She had not changed her appearance after all the centuries she had been exiled.

In some way, she had habituated to that life. She felt herself powerful; nothing or no one could defeat her. She could do whatever she wanted when she wished it. Up there, however, she could only watch years pass through the Time Line. She was not allowed to change anything. Why should she try to return? She was happy, or she would be until that night.

After hours trying to get some sleep, Kaileena finally managed to close her eyes, but her dream wasn’t beautiful. That dream, or better called nightmare, transported her to the Prison where the Dahaka slept. That place seemed to be part of hell itself.

The Guardian remained immobile, imprisoned by thousands of chains. But, suddenly, some of those chains started to break one by one. Something had happened. The Time Line was in danger.

In the armor that covered its head appeared to red bloody eyes. The Dahaka broke the chains left. He was furious, he had been there for centuries, and he was hungry. He needed the soul of the one who had awakened him. He didn’t remember why he was there, only that he had to eliminate the chosen one.

Kaileena woke up gasping for air. She was sweating, her heart seemed like if it was going to explode. Her eyes were full opened and she was trembling while lots of chills ran through her back.

Two Imperial Guards that were escorting the doors entered after hearing noises inside to see what had happened.

“Empress!” Shouted one of them, showing in the room.
“What has happened? Are you alright?” Asked the other one.
“Yes, I´m fine. It´s been a false alarm. You can leave.” She told them, still trying to calm down.
“As you wish.” And they disappeared.

Kaileena sat on her bed with the pillows behind her back. She separated her hair from her face. When she finally calmed herself, she put her head on her knees and closed her eyes.

The silence was broken by a masculine voice from the balcony.

“It seems that problems are coming …” She heard. She looked up, searching for the owner of that voice. It was her “other” right hand.
“Crow? What are you doing here?” She asked him.
“I heard your cries while I was flying over the Island.” He answered, entering his Mistress room. “What kind of vision has tormented you so much? What´s wrong with the Dahaka?”
“The Dahaka? How do you know that I saw the Dahaka?” She asked, surprised.
“I heard you speaking his name.” He said. “You seem scared. You´re still trembling.”
“Come.” She ordered.

The Crow Master, or Crow as Kaileena called him, walked closer to the Empress bed, and with no fear, he sat on its side, inclining himself over Kaileena. She moved the black tunic that covered his face and started kissing him.

It wasn’t so strange that the Empress had created a lover to break her loneliness, and being one of her subjects, he obeyed all her orders. The difference was that she couldn’t get angry with him. However, this relationship was made by convenience from both sides, and those kind or relations never last. Kaileena got pleasure from his company and the Crow was the Empress favorite, protected by her. If he acted as Kaileena wished, she wouldn’t hurt him.

The Crow moved away from her lips and looked at her.

“Every day that passes you grow more beautiful, Empress.” That made her smile. She sat on the bed again.
“You can leave, Crow. Go back to your mission.”
“Then I will fly again near your window to keep an eye on you.” In fact, that made Kaileena shudder. She felt herself observed all time.
“Don’t press your luck, Crow.” She warned him.
“As you wish.” He said, retreating. “Maybe you should look into the Time Line to make sure that everything is going right. You look nervous.”

The Crow left, leaving Kaileena alone in her room. She couldn’t get out of her head what she had dreamed and she wondered if she should look into the Time Line to make sure of that. There was something that worried her. If the Dahaka was really free, that meant that something serious happened. She had to do it.

In silence, she ran through the dark corridors of her castle to reach a chamber hidden in the Mystical Caves of the Island. No one could see her there, not even the Crow.

Closing her eyes and raising her head, she started to invoke the Time Line, which soon appeared in front of her. A golden beam moved in the room, surrounding her. She opened her eyes to the Time Line, they turned golden and then, the real vision started.

A Time Line posterior to hers. A Palace in the middle of the desert. An army had arrived there for a visit. She saw and recognized King Shahraman, a great ruler. By his side she saw his youngest son, who was 18 and was in his first battle.

India had fallen by their weapons, and they took some things as presents for the Sultan of Azad. An old Vizier was with them. They started talking.

“The Sandglass? It´s there but … full? The Sands have been created?! How?! Does this mean that my time will finally arrive and my soul will not be saved? This is my destiny if I don’t redeem?” She asked herself.

Something else caught her attention. The young boy had something in his hands … The Dagger of Time. He got closer to the Sandglass. He opened it and … The Sands of Time start to spread out, transforming everything.

“Gods! What has that crazy man just done?! If the Sands are free their power won´t have any limit. They will destroy everything!”

The vision changed. She saw the boy ally with a young girl. She was the Princess of India, the same one they had captured before. They fall in love, but everything banished when the Prince closed the Sandglass. He had avoid the Persian army to attack and to find those magical artifacts, but the damage was already done… The Dahaka had been awakened.

“That stupid man has signed his death warrant. He has created a lapsus in the Time Line.” After this, she regretted. “If I had been in my place, I would have been able to avoid this …Wait, what the …?”

There´s more yet. The vision changed. Seven years later. The young boy is now a mature man. He hadn’t reached his thirty of age yet, but he looked much older. He was really deteriorated. The Dahaka is after him. But yet he has managed to escape many times.

Everything changes again. Now she sees a boat, approaching to … The Island of Time! The vision changes once more. Now she´s in front of him. Images mix, she cannot see what´s going on. But suddenly, a clear scene gets recorded in her mind. The Prince has injured her with his blade. She falls to the ground, badly injured. She´s bleeding and she can´t move. He approach her. Everything gets blurred and finally, darkness comes over.
The Empress has died … SHE has died.

Kaileena fell to the floor. She couldn’t believe what she had just seen. Her life was about to end. She hardly crawled until reaching the stone wall. She can hardly breath. She was about to get hysteric. Her eyes started to get full of tears. For the first time in her life, she felt real panic. Desolate and confused, she stayed there crying in silence.


Well, what do you think? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif Better than the prologue ? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif I´m so excited! I think I´m gonna add a 5th part to the full story, but the main characters change in the 4th one, so ... Oh god I must write!!!!!!

If you want (and I hope you do http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif) I leave here the link to fanfiction so that you can leave a review there or something http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif http://www.fanfiction.net/s/63..._of_Persia_Deception (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6395383/2/Prince_of_Persia_Deception)

By the way, I hate that of writing dialogues "like this" ¬¬ Why doesnt this simple thing work -like this?! Arrrrg!!

07-13-2011, 06:44 AM
Surely better then the prologue http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif WW starts to make more sense now http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/53.gif great job Cristi, keep them coming

07-14-2011, 09:03 AM
Originally posted by Grafferu:
Surely better then the prologue http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif WW starts to make more sense now http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/53.gif great job Cristi, keep them coming

It seems that only you read it ... You´re the only one who has posted a comment about it ...

What I dissapointment ... I thought more people would read after what I had seen when I posted the prologue.

Thank you anyway ... I´ll start translating another chapter. My inspiration for the one from the sequel I was working on has just dissapeared. No one is reading it neither http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

Coming soon: Two destinies tied by dispair

07-20-2011, 03:41 PM
Well, as I said, here it is the second chapter. I dont know if anybody else has read the first one, but if you have, leave some comments please http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

Two destinies tied by dispair

After that night, Kaileena´s life turned, changing everything she was and everything she knew. In the following days, she barely ate or slept properly due to the fear she felt. She had lost her appetite and couldn’t sleep in peace.

She spent the days in the Thorne Room, closed and barred. Any sun light penetrated in that room. The only thing she did was to walk around and watch as her day arrived slowly. The visions attacked her in any moment, and the more they showed, the more she feared.

Far away from there, in the Great Babylon, the young man who would become her murderer wandered around the streets. He had been exiled by his own Father, after seeing how all his attempts to get rid of the monster which chased him became against him.

Blind by the fear of dying at the hands of that beast, the Prince headed a part of his Father´s Army to a certain death in the desert of Aresura, the land of the Daevas, the same he believed extinct.

They razed everything they found in their path, disobeying his Father, who he had cheated to invade lands from other Kingdoms and see himself closer to his target: The Box of Thousand Restraints. What happened when he found it? The Daevas, who had been trapped there, woke up and destroyed the Prince´s group of soldiers.

Returning home to find shelter against them, he found that the India, hurt for the treason they had suffered by breaking the pact between Persia and them when the Prince attacked, had tried to take Babylon with a vengeance. And with this, between other things, his Mother´s life was taken. After this, his Father exiled him, but the Prince declined to leave his city.

Like a wanderer, he hided himself in the dark streets, stealing food from the merchants, running away from the guards. His only help was an Old Man who lived away from the city, at the other side of the mountains which separated Babylon from the desert.

A normal day in Babylon. With sunrise, life started in the capital of the Persian Empire. The merchants set up their stalls, the vagabonds and thieves took their places among the people, begging for a coin or stealing the innocent ones. The drunks left the taverns, and some infidel men left the many city brothels.

Outside the Palace, life in Babylon was like a mortal trap. The pecking order ruled the citizens’ lives. As every day, the guards walked through the streets, and often they trapped some poor unfortunate man, calling him thief and beating him up before stealing him.

Persian society stank those days. If you were someone important you could do whatever you wanted outlaw, like luxury jewels, beautiful women and dozens of wine barrels. Nobody could touch you. But if you belonged to the ordinary people you could only go through two things: If you were a man, they would beat you up very often accusing you of treason or thief, even if you were innocent, to steal you then. And if you were a woman … Well, we could say, that or you had to enforce by hook or by crook, and usually, it was the hard way.

After a calmed night, life in Babylon ran its course. The same routine. A thief is caught red-handed and the guards beat him up until he´s half death, typical. The Prince watched this from a rooftop not far away from there, hidden with his hood so that no one could recognize him.

“It is sad to see the harsh reality of this city.” He tought.

He made sure that the guards where away enough and he went down to the streets to attend the thief. He knew him. He went closer and kneeled next to him to help him up.

“I didn’t see them coming, they were too many.” The poor man lamented himself.
“I know, Jalal. I´ve seen it.” He answered. He put his partner´s arm around his neck to help him.
“The patrols are more frequent.”
“Yes, this is out of control. There are guards everywhere.” Finally, the man was able to get up and started walking. “Come on, I´ll take you to a safe place.”

He carried him to the city suburbs, the lower districts. Houses were mostly demolished, and the worst ones had been abandoned years ago.

Jalal´s brother, Mustafa, waited for them there. Carefully, they left him on a bunch of pillows that they used as a bed.

“Take this and put it on all his wounds.” Said the Prince, giving Mustafa some ointments.
“Thank you, Prince.” Answered Mustafa.
“Don’t call me that. You know I´m no longer a Prince.” – He denied, looking down.
“You might not have the title, but your blood is royal.”
“Yeah … I suppose so. Well, I must go. I have things to do.” He said going to the door.
“Be careful. You know the guards are looking for you.” Mustafa warned him.
“I´ll be, my friend. I´ll be.”

He jumped off a window and ran through the rooftops until he reached the bazaar. It was already midday, and the smell of food made him hungry.

Carefully, he went closer to a fruit stand. He had to be cautious, because if the guards saw him he would get big troubles. He saw two of them coming and waited until they moved away. Then, quickly and in silence, he took advantage of the merchant´s cluelessness and he took a bag ready for a client.

He ran off and he hide himself in a safe place. He opened the bag but, sadly, the fruit he found wasn’t one he liked.

“Arg … Pomegranates! They had to be pomegranates!” He said in disgust. “Well, it´s better than nothing.”

With difficulty, he ate a pair of them. Meanwhile, he watched as many caravans of rulers and officers arrived to the Palace. Once he had finished, he went down to the bazaar again. There, he found a small flower tend, where waited a friend of him, Asha, an old widow who informed him about the city news.

“Good morning, Asha.” He greeted.
“Regards, Prince Cyrus.” She said emotionally.
“I bring you fruits.” – He said, showing the bag.
“Robbing again?”
“I had no other choice.”
“And have you eaten?”
“Yes, some of them. I´m not a pomegranate lover.” He answered. “Any news?”
“You noticed that the guards have doubled the number of patrols, haven’t you?”
“Yes, that makes me even harder to move through the city.” He complained.
“You must be careful, Cyrus. If they catch you, you know what will happen to you.”
“I know. But I don’t understand so much security. Does it have something to do with the caravans going to the Palace?”
“I´ve heard that there´s a party tonight in the Palace.”
“A party?” He asked, confused.
“Yes, your brother Malik´s birthday.”
“Malik! Gods … It´s been so many years.” He paused, thinking. “I must go and see him.”
“Are you crazy?!”
“It´s been too many years since we last met. I won’t let this chance go.” He insisted. – Now I must go. Thanks for the information!

The Prince ran to the city gate, where he had left his horse. He mounted and galloped to the mountains. After an hour, he reached the Old Man´s house. He left the horse in a makeshift stable and entered the house, which was like a nomad tent.

“Is anybody around here?” He shouted.
“Oh! Hi, Cyrus.” He saluted. “It´s been some days since you last came. Something happened?”
“No, nothing special. These days the patrols have grew because of a party in the Palace tonight for my brother Malik.”
“You´re not thinking of going … Are you?”
“Yes, I haven’t seen him in years. I must go.”
“Madness! You cannot risk yourself like that.”
“It is my brother who we are talking about! He´s been my model since I was a child.” He insisted.
“Good, do whatever you want.” The Old Man accepted, tired. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, but go ahead.”
“Nothing will happen to me.”
“I hope so … Are you hungry?”
“Actually … I am.”
“I´ll cook something. Meanwhile, I advise you to have a bath.”

Cyrus blushed, embarrassed when he realized that. He didn’t bath in weeks. It was time to wash himself. So, he went to the other side of the house, where there was a pit. He filled a bucket with water and had a good, cold bath. When he finished, he went in again and found a dish with food. He ate like an animal, only stopping to breathe.

Later, at night, he rode his horse and galloped again to the city. Once there, he avoided the many guards who escorted the gates to the Palace. He headed to the Hanging Gardens. He was sure that the party would be there, and he wasn’t wrong.

From a tree, he could see how everyone celebrated Malik´s birthday. He saw his Father, the Sultan of Azad, the Maharaja of India with his daughter, Princess Farah, some of the Army officers … Many of his friends were there, and he was missing it.

He couldn’t show himself, he had to bring Malik to him. But he didn’t have to. While Malik was talking to one of his partners, he sensed something moving between the trees. He said goodbye to his friend and went closer to the place where he thought he had seen something, carefully.

Prince Cyrus went down the tree to hide between the shrubbery. Malik noticed something and he unsheathed his sword.

“Malik!” He called behind him.
“Who´s there?!” – He shouted, turning ready to attack.
“Calm down, Malik. It´s me, your brother Cyrus!” He said, showing himself.
“Cyrus?” Malik looked confused, but he didn’t take long to hug his brother. “What are you doing here?! If Father discovers you you´ll have problems. Are you mad?”
“I risk my life to come and congratulate you for your birthday and this is how you welcome me? I feel flattered.” Cyrus complained with sarcasm.
“I thank you for coming, brother. But you must go as quickly as you can. Even if I´m happy to see you, I don’t want anybody to see you here. Go before it´s too late.”
“But Malik…”
“Go before the guards arrive!” He urged him.

Cyrus, disappointed, had to admit that Malik was right, and he ran off as quickly as he could. But when he climbed the Palace walls to get out of there, somebody grabbed his foot and made him fall outside the walls.

“Look who we have here!” A guard shouted. He had been discovered.
“I think he didn’t understand the meaning of the word “exiled”.” Another one said while two more grabbed him.
“Well, let´s give him a lesson then.”

And like beasts, they started a fight against him. He got kicked in the stomach and many punches before he could get them off. As soon as he got a chance, he escaped. He returned to the Old Man´s house. When he entered and the Old Man saw him, the young Prince lowed his head. He didn’t say anything. The Old Man grabbed his arm and forced him to sit down to heal his wounds.

“What happened?” He asked seriously.
“Some guards surprised me on my way here.” He answered, not looking at him.
“Did you see your brother?” After that question, Cyrus moaned in pain when the Old Man started healing the wounds from his face.
“Yes, sort of it.” There was sadness in those words.
“Sort of it? What do you mean?”
“He only told me to leave. Nothing else.”
“Malik doesn’t want any harm to you. You know he loves you. Do you think he would like to see you like this?” Cyrus didn´t say anything. “Come on, answer.”
“No.” He said. “It´s just that I´m tired of this life! I cannot stand it! I want to return home, with my Family. I´m tired of walking through the streets like if I were a wanderer, stealing the poor food I eat. This is humiliating!”
“I know, but you know that with this you have learned a humility lesson. Before being exiled, you would have never helped a vagabond or a troubled child.”
“I know … But it´s been a long time! My Father should forgive me. There must be a way to gain his forgiveness!” He looked him and his mind started working. “You don’t know any way … Do you?”
“Cyrus, the last time you tried something your Mother was killed with many citizens.” The Old Man was trying to avoid the question, but he knew something.
“I know you know something. I beg you, tell me!”
“I don’t know if it´s a good idea.” He went to another room and came back with a book. “Listen, this book holds information about what you need.”
“What is it about?” He asked reading it.
“Do you remember the story your Mother used to tell you when you were a child about a women who destroyed everything in her path?”
“The one every child is told to warn them about bad behave? Of course I do.” He answered.
“Well, according to the Legend, that woman is the incarnation of the Goddess of Time.”
“Goddess of Time?”
“Yes. According to the texts, she hated our world. She found funny to create chaos starting wars between kingdoms and changing the events of the Timeline, just as you did when you opened the Hourglass.” Cyrus looked confused. “The Sands of Time are the essence of the Goddess of Time herself. It is what´s left of her after her death.”
“Death? Aren´t Gods supposed to be immortals?”
“Listen to the story and shut up, you ignorant!” After this, he continued. “Like I said, she loved to change the Timeline, until one day the Gods discovered her, and as a punishment, they sentenced her to stay in the body she used to walk among us, becoming mortal. But it is curious, she can only die by being killed, age doesn’t have any influence on her.”
“And what happened to her after that?”
“It is believed that she lives in a cursed Island lost in the ocean, guarded by an army of Sand Creatures. After so many centuries, she has gained a reputation of ruthless murderer, and she has proclaimed herself the Empress of Time. Nobody who steps in her Island survives.”
“And what about the creature that hunts me?”
“According to the description you told me, the monster which hunts you is the Dahaka, the Guardian of the Timeline. It was the Empress herself who convicted it to that charge after a battle. The Dahaka only wakes up if the Timeline is changed. That is why it´s after you. When you opened the Hourglass, you broke the curse of the Timeline. Setting the Sands of Time free is like setting the Empress free again. If you want to redeem yourself and get rid of the Dahaka, your only choice is to travel to the Island of Time and defeat the Empress of Time.”
“But I don’t understand. If there are Sands … What happened to the Empress? She died?”
“She must have died, since we don’t have any news from her after all this time.”
“Then how am I supposed to find her?!”
“In the Island there are some Portals that will take you to the Past, when she was still alive. At least that’s what the Mahajara tells in this book. He has been the only man who has managed to go and come back. But that’s just because she didn’t find her and found only the Sands.”
“So … If I travel to the Island of Time and avoid the creation of the Sands the Dahaka will stop hunting me, right?”
“Yes, but there´s something that doesn’t convince me at all.”
“The Sands of Time. They belonged to her. Nobody knows how she is related with them. Maybe she tried to create them to use their power to get back hers and something happened, and the Sands killed her. There are many legends about that, thought that one is the best.” The Old Man explained, suspicious.
“Whatever it is, I´ll find her.”
“Cyrus, if you go there, you´ll have to face her. That´s a sentence to death!”
“She still has some of her powers. And her appearance was what she used as a weapon to start wars. She used to seduce some rulers and then she started conflicts between them. She knows very well the art of seduction. No man can resist her. If you fall in her charm, she will kill you easily.”
“I won´t let her seduce me. I prefer to defeat her and enjoy the many concubines I´ll have at my return party.”
“Cyrus, come down to earth and leave your world of clouds and dreams. This is serious! You´re facing death.”
“I´ve been running from it since that damn monster started hunting me! What do you want me to do? Sit here and wait until it kills me? Or fighting against it for my life and honor?!” He was desesperated.
“Any of the options look good to me, Cyrus. You won´t live anyway. Nobody has managed to beat the Empress.”
“Then I´ll be the first one. I´ll do whatever I have to reach my target. I won´t give up. But I need you to help me and tell me what do you know about that place.”
“Everything is in that book. There are maps, information about special places and some fragments from the murals which showed the Empress.”
“Perfect. So, I´ll need a ship and a crew. I´ll go to the city tomorrow to find some men disposed to go. Now, with your permission, I would like to sleep.” He looked at the Old Man. His face looked worried. “Don´t worry, I´ll kill the Empress and I will avoid the creation of the Sands. If all the things you have told me are true, if there are no Sands, she won´t be able to use them for her purpose, and so, her plans will twist and the Sands won´t be in the Hourglass.” He sounded sure of himself. “Good night.”

The Prince entered a room that the Old Man always had ready for him. Though Cyrus sounded sure, the Old Man was not sure about the truth of the Legends.

“I hope that the Empress death and the creation of the Sands of Time are not related to your future acts, Cyrus …” He thought.

Meanwhile, on the Island of Time, Kaileena suffered in silence. The visions attacked her more often, fragments from the Timeline, from what would happen. She was terrified, but yet she tried to keep composure.

Tired of being enclosed in her room or in the Throne Room, she went to the Gardens of the Vegetal Tower. The sunlight touched her pale skin. She was with her loved Griffin, sitting next to it, patting it while the huge beast grunted happily.

However, her mind was still focused on those visions. She had seen with details how that man pierced her body with his sword. She had seen her own blood shedding. She had never felt like that. Of course, the Crow had noticed his Mistress behavior.

“It seems that things look much worse that what you thought.” Kaileena listened his voice, not far away from her.
“What do you want now?” She asked, tired.
“You really are afflicted.” He said. “It seems that the release of the Dahaka has brought more problems than what you had in mind. What is it?”
“That is not your business.”
“It is to ensure my Mistress safety.” He answered bowing. “Tell me what scares you from that mortal.”
“Mortal?! How do you know …?!” Kaileena couldn’t believe that the Crow knew that.
“I told you I would keep an eye on you.”
“But how did you have access to the Timeline chamber?!”
“It isn’t difficult to a crow to hide in the shadows. Tell me then, what scares you?”
“If you were there, you already know.” She said, angry.
“Are you really scared of him? He´s a human. If the soldiers know about this, they will not trust in your leadership anymore. You must not show such weakness.”
“And what do you plan to do?”
“If you wish, I can fly, find him and watch his progress. Meanwhile, you can intensify the Island Defenses.”
“If I do that, the soldiers will think I´m afraid of something.”
“Not if you know how to cheat them. You didn’t gift them with intelligence, Empress. Tell any excuse.”
“Go, we´re wasting time.” She ordered.
“As you command, Empress.”

And with this words, the Crow Master transformed into a little crow that flew away quickly. Kaileena remained there, immersed in her thoughts. Was the Crow right? Should she really try to save herself? She was the Empress of Time, the most feared woman in the world, and he was just a simple human. It was all her army against only one man. She had advantage.

“I must avoid that man to reach my Island …”

The link : http://www.fanfiction.net/s/63..._of_Persia_Deception (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6395383/3/Prince_of_Persia_Deception)

07-20-2011, 10:13 PM
I like the part where the crowmaster said the soldiers were too stupid to suspect her of being afraid. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

I think an even better translation of that part would be "You did not imbue them with intelligence, Empress. Any excuse will suffice." http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

07-24-2011, 07:22 AM
“Arg … Pomegranates! They had to be pomegranates!” He said in disgust. “Well, it´s better than nothing.” http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Quite epic Cristi, good job http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

07-24-2011, 02:40 PM
Thanks for reading ^^ I´m gonna start to translate a new one right now!

There are more than 40 chapters in this story ... and at the moment I´m writing the sequel http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif but there are, for now, 4 stories sure, maybe 5. But in the 4th one, the main characters will change http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

I´m also working on some fast drawings about the relevant parts of some chapters, I asked in the spanish forum to say which ones to draw, you can also do that ^^ But its too soon yet, nothin cool happens until chap 20 more or less. Thats when Cris leaves her touch in the story ... *Evil laugh* XD

Gi2t@ Translating that to spanish it doesnt make much sense O.O It must change the meaning with the full sentence or something.

Graf@ You liked that huh?? XD I had to include that someway, at it looked like a perfect place to insert that joke XD

The next chap will be "Getting ready" http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

08-31-2011, 04:30 PM
Well people, chapter 3 is already here! Sorry it took much time ... I´ve been busy lately.

I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 3: Getting ready

In Babylon, the Prince walked through the harbor in search of a ship to take him to the Island of Time. He asked in many piers, but as soon as he mentioned the place, the owners declined. The search was going worse and worse, and the Prince started to fret. He needed a ship to get to that Island.

When he believed his luck gone, he managed to find a ship that, even if it didn’t look very resistant, it would serve. It belonged to an old sailor which had left the fishing job, and since he didn’t have any sons to leave his belongings to, he had to keep that ship with him. He saw Cyrus walking through the harbor and he talked him.

“Young man,” He said. “Do you need something?”
“Yes, well …” He answered walking to him. “I´m looking for a ship to make a journey.”
“A journey, huh?” The old man looked interested. “To where, exactly?”
“It´s a bit dangerous. I´m heading to the Island of Time.”
“The Island of Time?” He started laughing. “If you wish to die just fall off a cliff!”
“I must get rid of the Guardian of the Timeline which hunts me.” He explained begging. “It´s my only choice. I have been all the day looking for a ship, but nobody offers me one. I´m desperate. Only if I clear my name by killing this beast, my Father will forgive me for what I have done to this city.”
“Wait … Are you the Prince of Persia?”
“I was.”
“Wow …” The old sailor started to think. “Come, maybe I can help you.”
“Yes.” He took some steps and pointed his stick to a ship. “Do you see that ship?”
“The last one?”
“Yes. It´s mine. I´m been trying to get rid of it many years. It might not be in good repair, but with some arrangements in some parts it will hold the journey you wish to make.” He looked at the Prince, who was staring at the ship. “What do you say?”
“How much do you want for it?”
“Nothing. Just make that ***** who lives on that Island pay for what she has done to our lands in all these centuries and I´ll be happy.” He said smiling.
“Great! Now a just need a crew …”

The Prince started thinking which men to choose for his journey. Meanwhile, the Island of Time was getting ready for what was supposed to be its hardest battle. The Empress hided her fears to avoid a rebellion. She had ordered to strengthen all the access with deadly traps. The soldiers, unaware of what was going on, obeyed the Empress´ orders.

Shahdee, however, was confused with all those changes. The access hall to the Throne Room was a real deadly trap! Willing to get answers, Shahdee walked to Kaileena, who was supervising the assembly of one of the traps.

“Could you tell me what the hell is going on here?” She asked, bold.
“How dare you talking to me that way?! Show respect!” Kaileena felt offended.
“Explain the reason for all these traps, then!”
“Do I need a reason to strengthen the defenses of my Fortress?” She asked proudly.
“No one has assaulted this Island since you arrived here. The army is effective, so it´s stupid to strengthen the Island defenses … Unless there´s something that really bothers you.”

That left Kaileena with no defense. She couldn’t give more reasons.

“Come. I´ll explain you everything.” She said, heading to the Throne Room.

They both walked through the hall, full of traps to place yet. Even the floor, in some parts, would shift down some meters when the traps got activated, creating a ditch to avoid anyone to pass. The soldiers looked at them when they saw them walking, confused and suspicious.

They reached the Throne Room and Kaileena closed the door. She walked to her Throne quickly. Shahdee followed her slowly. She sat on the Throne and put aside a book she had there, her diary.

“Well … What´s happening?” She urged her.
“I guess you have noticed that it´s almost impossible to walk through the halls without being killed.” She started, trying to show herself calm.
“Almost impossible? Forget that! What´s coming here?!”
“Something that has been torturing me since some weeks.” She said, leaving the book on the Throne while getting up.
“What is it?”
“My death.”
“Death?” Shahdee thought about that.
“All the traps you´ve seen are to avoid it to come to me.”
“And what´s that thing that will bring you death to take such desperate measures? A divine army? The devil himself? What?! What are we about to face?!”
“A man.” She answered, turning her back on her.
“A man? You mean … A human? We´re going to fight a human?” Kaileena, still in the same position, nodded. Shahdee got angry, confused. “So much security to keep out a simple human?! Have you lost your mind?!
“Shahdee, I´ve seen him in my visions.” She turned to her, placing her hands on her shoulders. “I haven’t seen any other do what he does. His agility surpasses any other humans. I have seen him fight in his Timeline with many of our soldiers … At the same time! And he defeated them with no trouble! In some months he will reach our shores and he will kill me!”
“And what brings him here? Revenge, maybe?”
“No, the Dahaka is after him. His destiny has driven him to open the Sandglass.”
“The Sandglass? But … It´s empty.”
“Not in his Timeline. That confirms my fears. They´re not delusions! It´s real … Despair drives him, Shahdee. He will do everything and more to get rid of the Dahaka.”
“I still don’t understand why is he coming here.”
“Because he thinks that by stopping the creation of the Sands he will get rid of him. What he doesn’t know is that the Sands flow under my skin.”
“And wouldn’t it be easier to deal with him when he arrives? Meet him and come to an agreement.” Shahdee suggested.
“He thinks that I´m its creator. And I don’t deal with humans. They don’t use their intelligence. They only get pleasure from killing.”
“Just like you …” Shahdee murmured.
“What did you say?!” After so many days without rest or eating as she should, the Empress was starting to show an anger and contempt which were much higher than the usual in her. She was being drifted. “Be careful with what you say behind my back!” She threatened her with a dagger near her throat.
“With due respect, Empress, it´s the harsh reality. Since the Gods condemned you, you have sought as an escape torturing humans. You get pleasure from it.” Kaileena removed the dagger.

A crow came in flying. It was Kaileena´s right hand, her royal spy and lover. Seeing them arguing, the Crow, now in his human shape, showed a smile in his face. Kaileena shunted Shahdee aside.

“I see things start to stir …” He said, smiling.
“What news do you bring?” Kaileena asked, ignoring his comment.
“Your murderer has already found a ship to bring him here. Now he´s looking for a crew, and seeing his company, I would say he will bring thieves.” He explained.
“Thieves? Dirty snakes … They will come here to loot the Island.”
“I´ve seen that you have already strengthen the Defenses. Have you thought of anything else?”
“Duplicate the soldiers that guard the different zones.”
“That would be a good idea.” The Crow agreed.
“Shahdee” She said, looking at her. “Tell all the soldiers to distribute themselves around the Island. I want guards all the time.”
“May I ask how do you plan to keep that horde of looters away from the Island?” She asked.
“Ready a crew and our best ship. When they come closer we will sink them.”
“I have a question. Isn´t fate supposed to be unalterable? Why do you even try?”
“I am over the Timeline rules! Now do as I have told you!”
“As you wish.” Bowing, she left the room.
“She´s got a point on that, Empress.” The Crow spoke. “No one can change his fate, and those rules includes you too. You were created from the Timeline.”
“And what other thing can I do, Crow?” She asked, a bit calmed. “I know he will arrive, but the longer I can avoid it …”
“The more you´ll suffer.” He finished. The Crow was the only one on the Island who could manipulate the Empress´s feelings to make her feel insecure or even fear future events, like what was happening.
“Leave.” She ordered, covering her eyes with her hands. “I want to be alone.”
“If you need me, just call me.” And with these words, he disappeared.

Kaileena sat on the Throne and started thinking. She took a look at the Timeline a couple of times to see what was she facing. He was truly a great warrior, and what was more important, he knew how to use some of the Sands artifacts. However, the amulet placed in his armor seemed to haven´t been activated yet. The Empress begged for him not to discover that it also had powers over the Sands. At least, that would give her a chance against him. But as she looked more and more, she saw fewer options.

“There´s no way out. It´s useless.”

Babylon, one month later. The Prince had his ship already arranged, he only needed to get his crew. He sent the city thieves the message, and soon, some volunteers showed out. He had a cook, some servants and many corpulent warriors. Some were soldiers fired from the army that, just like Cyrus, hoped to get a second chance, and they saw in Cyrus their wish fulfilled.

“How many man do we have?” He asked to his right hand in this journey, Jalal.
“About 40 men counting warriors and servants.”
“Good … We only have to get some weapons and get ready for the journey …”

In his mind, Cyrus could see the Island, and he saw himself holding the Empress´s head in his hands, still bleeding. He wanted to finish that as soon as he could.

Well, what do you think??

PD: You can also leave reviews here ! http://www.fanfiction.net/s/63..._of_Persia_Deception (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6395383/1/Prince_of_Persia_Deception)

09-01-2011, 03:10 PM
Love the story! Great job Cristi! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif

09-01-2011, 03:12 PM
Originally posted by Angelripper19:
Love the story! Great job Cristi! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif

Thanks! Its good to have some comments! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

I finally managed to uplad it to DA too! Tomorrow I´ll start translatin another chap!

09-01-2011, 03:16 PM
I saw http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
And great, looking forward to the rest of the story ^^

09-01-2011, 03:25 PM
Originally posted by Angelripper19:
I saw http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
And great, looking forward to the rest of the story ^^

Great! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

09-02-2011, 09:37 AM
Another great chapter Cristi http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif your story gets closer and closer to where WW starts, poor Kaileena, she's kinda desperate now http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

09-02-2011, 10:41 AM
Originally posted by Grafferu:
poor Kaileena, she's kinda desperate now http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

I am writing the secquel in spanish, and I can tell you, after sooo many chapters, that THAT IS NOTHING!!!!

I´m so baaaaaaaad XD

09-02-2011, 05:45 PM
Sorry for the double post but I have another chap!

Chapter 4: The beginning of a journey that would become a tragedy

The Sun was rising behind the mountains that separated Babylon from the desert. The sunshine reflected on the peaceful waters of the bay, where the city was built, near the banks of the Euphrates River. The land expanded to a steep, rocky canyon which limited the bay, and through where the water flowed to the sea.

It was a strategic place for fishermen. That was the reason why Babylon had such a great fishing. In the harbor, the sailors built networks and prepared their ships while the children jumped from the rocks, away from the boats, and then swam to the towers where, at sunset, a fire was lighted to use them as a lighthouse for the travelers.

The Prince´s crew had already taken all the provisions and weapons to the ship. Everything was ready. In just some hours they would set sail to the place which no human would have ever wished to visit. But his situation was different. He had nothing to lose. If the Empress´ soldiers didn’t kill him, the Dahaka would do it. He would take with him the lives of all his men, but if he died, nobody could blame him for that.

As the preparations reached their end, Cyrus went to visit his Old mentor for last time. Again, he tried to make him change his mind.

“Are you sure you want to risk your life?” He asked.
“Old Man, we have already talked about this. There´s no way back. It´s my only chance to save my life and clean my honor.”
“Cyrus, you will take with you the lives of tens of men! How will that clean your honor?!”
“I will bring the Empress´ head with me if it´s necessary. Any proof to make my Father talk to me again!” He looked back to the maps. “According to this, the journey will take some weeks. The easier access is through this bay.”
“Do you really think that it´s so simple? The Empress will be waiting for you. She will send her soldiers as soon as you get close to the Island!”
“If they do, we will defeat them. I will kill those soldiers one by one until the Empress gets helpless.”
“I´m not going to make you desist, am I?” Cyrus looked at him and took his books and maps. “I won´t stop you from committing a madness.”
“Old Man, I prefer to try this madness that staying here, waiting to my death.” He said, firmly, heading to the door. “When I come back and my Father allows me to go back to Palace, I will compensate you for all these years you have sheltered me.”
“I don’t need and compensation, Cyrus. I just hope that you know what you´re doing. Go then, if you´re so sure of yourself.” He said. “But know this: You cannot change your fate. No man can.”

Cyrus stood near the door some seconds, doubting, but he decided to start walking. The journey would be long, hard and dangerous. Surely, most of the men that who went with him would never see their families again.

He reached the harbor. His ship and crew were waiting for him. He stayed there looking at them, thinking about all the possible things that might happen. An agitated voice brought him back to Earth.

“Brother!” Shouted the voice, getting closer. It was Malik.
“Malik, what are you doing here, brother?” He asked under his hood so that no one could recognize him.
“So, it´s true. You´re leaving.” He said, sounding disappointed. “Are you aware of what you´re doing?”
“Yes, brother. I must do it.” He answered, looking down.
“Believe or not, but Father is sad because of this. And I am too …” He hugged him and showed him a sword. “I´ve brought you my old sword. I hope it´ll be helpful.”
“Thank you, brother.” He said, holding the Eagle Sword in his hands. “I´ll do anything to bring evidences of my innocence. Even if it means bringing the Empress´ head.”
“ Return alive. That´s all we want.” And he hugged him again, this time harder. “Good luck, brother.”
“Take care of Father.”

Both Princes tried to save face and not to cry, but they knew that their possibilities of meeting again were few. Cyrus embarked and looked at his brother, who stayed there. The ship started moving to the canyon. Malik watched sadly how his younger brother walked away from his home city, until the ship disappeared behind the rocks.

The first night on the ship was a great party. The crew men drank and ate, celebrating their future victory. How innocent … The Prince stayed in his cabin, reading again and again all the manuscripts he carried with him. It was difficult to concentrate because of the noise from the party outside. He didn’t want to party. He had do check one by one every detail about that place. He couldn’t make any mistakes. But soon, he was disturbed by one of the sailors, who came to invite him to join the celebration.

“Your Highness, come and drink with us!” He suggested happily.
“Thank you for the invitation, but I´m busy.” He refused.
“Please! All the crew is waiting you. Without our captain, the party isn´t the same.” He insisted.
“Alright, I guess I can enjoy it for just one night. The journey will be long.” He finally agreed.
He walked out with the young man. All the men were sitting on the ground or ledges of the ship. One of them offered him a jug wine. As they gave it to him, he listened other men talking about the Legends of the Island of Time.
“They say that the Empress´ soldiers are so monstrous that with only taking a look at them, you feel fear.” One said.
“Well, I have heard that no one who has seen the Empress has managed to get out of her Island alive.” Added another one. “They say that her beauty is such that any man falls to her feet.”
“But that won´t happen to our Prince!” Denied one, pointing Cyrus.
“Yes! Prince Cyrus will put her in her place.” Added one.
“Prince Cyrus, what do you plan to do when we arrive?”
“When we land, we´ll look for the Empress. We´ll kill every soldier who stands in our way. Later, I´ll see if those Legends say the truth about that ***** … And then, I´ll finish her. Once we finish our mission, we´ll get her treasure and if her servants are as it is said and they´re worth it, we´ll bring some with us and we´ll make a little celebration.” He explained. “But I reserve the right to choose some for me.” He added, smiling.
“Well spoken!” Shouted one.
“Long live our Prince!”
“And let the Empress and all her army tremble with fear!”

The Empress had not slept in weeks. Every time she closed her eyes she saw her murderer, stringing her with his sword, ending her life. She never got out of the Throne Room. She had been so much time without feeling the sunshine´s touch that her skin had become pale. Her restlessness had made her behavior become more and more darker, turning into rage, that, filled with her panic, made her subjects fear her even more.

Her death was just some weeks away. She was exhausted, she needed to rest. Sitting on her Throne, her eyes closed slowly, until she got trapped into another dream that would become a nighmare.

“She was in the Throne Room. An uncomfortable silence whipped the place. She was starting to be nervous. She called her servants, but they didn’t come. Shahdee? No. Her soldiers? No. Anyone answered her call. There was any signal of them. Had they been massacred? She couldn’t know.

She senses some weight in her hands. Her blades had just appeared. But, why? Suddenly, she felt someone else´s presence in the room. She turned, waiting to see one of her people, but it wasn’t so. The one who was standing there was him, the Prince of Persia, her murderer, blade in hand.

She looked into those blue eyes. She could see bloodlust behind them. He stared at her, indifferent. The Empress didn’t know what to do. He started approaching her slowly. She wasn’t ready to face him. Her hands betrayed her and let the blades fall to the ground.

Before her murderer could jump over her, she rolled, dodging his attack. Then, the real hell started.

Kaileena tried to dodge his opponent´s attacks, who only reached to cause her small cuts. However, those cuts burned Kaileena´s skin, who felt that her heart was about to burst. She could fight, using her powers, but the fear that this man infused over her was stronger than her strength. Her legs were failing her, she wasn’t able to run. She tried to get away from him by throwing him things, but it was useless. Desperate, she invoked her Imperial Guard, but he killed all its members in just some minutes. That human wasn’t an ordinary one.

The distinct sound of skin being cut by some king of weapon made her fall to the floor. The Prince had threw her a dagger into her leg. Shouting in pain in a puddle of her own blood, the Empress crawled some meters, trying to reach the Throne Room´s doorway. However, a sword blocked her path. She could see her reflection, bleeding. She looked up and reached her enemy´s face. He still looked at her careless to her suffering. He grabbed her neck and made her stand up.

“No …” She begged. “Don´t do it.”

It was useless. The Prince drove his sword in her chest, completely piercing her. She could feel how it found a way across her vital organs, breaking some ribs, emerging through her back. She began to bleed from the wound and her own mouth. The Prince took his sword away from her and let the Empress go, who, after standing some seconds in agony, fell to the floor, dead.”

A voice brought her out of that horrible nightmare.


Still trembling, and yet breathing hard, the Empress looked around for the one who had spoken. It was de Crow.

“Are you alright?” He asked.
“Yes.” She lied.
“Again that vision?” She nodded. “Well, I´m sorry to bring you bad news, Mistress.”
“What news?”
“The Prince has left Babylon today. He´s heading to this Island and according to what I have heard … He isn’t planning anything good for you.”
“This is ridiculous.” She said to herself. “I don´t even know why I´m doing this. It will be useless. The day will arrive and my life will reach its end.”
“You have nothing to lose by trying it, Empress. Let Shahdee be the one to face him. The soldiers will be able to eliminate the Prince´s allies. Shahdee would defeat him.”
“It´s a suicide mission. He will reach the Island.”
“If you think he will, of course he will reach it. Think if for a second, the vision might not be showing you that fate just because you deny to avoid his arrive?” He asked.
“You´re right …” Kaileena started seeing things from another point of view. “But … Shahdee won´t agree to go in such a mission. It´s too risky. She´s my bodyguard. If she dies, I´ll lose an important escort.” Kaileena wasn’t sure of herself. “She´s the closest thing I´ve ever had to a friend.”
“She´s just another creature, Empress. And, just between us, I must tell you that I have heard Shahdee saying things about you that I wouldn’t like you to know.” He lied. Shahdee had always obeyed the Empress, even in the worst moments.
“Shahdee speaks of me behind my back?” She was starting to feel confused.
“Just remember what she muttered being in front of you when you told her about the mission. If she dares in your presence, what will she say behind your back?”
“Shahdee has always been very shameless. But speak of my behind my back …” She couldn’t really believe it. The problem was that the Crow was filling her heart with hatred to Shahdee.
“You´ve given her too much freedom. Her status has allowed her to avoid your rage in certain times. If you don’t straighten her now, you will probably lose control over her. Who knows? She could betray you …”
“Alright. Bring her to me.”

The Crow disappeared to look for Shahdee. Kaileena was so blind because of her fear that she couldn’t see that the Crow wanted to turn her against her own bodyguard. Shahdee had always been very bold to Kaileena, many times she spoke when other would have not said a word. But, why did the Crow want to get rid of Shahdee? Did he want Kaileena for his own?

Wow, I´ve had trouble with some expressions, I hope i have translated them well.

09-06-2011, 01:47 AM
Well, here´s another chapter. It took me long to translate it. If you find something that you dont understand, please tell me and I´ll see how can I change the translation.

Chapter 5: Threats

Sand creatures, normally, don’t need to eat because their own essence gives them strength. However, Shahdee, being a different creation, the Empress created her from her own blood, and so, she had some differences from the others. She was more human, more perfect compared with the others. She could touch the water, swim and drink it, things that any other creature was able to do. Not even the Crow. However, she had a disadvantage. She needed to sleep and eat frequently.

Kaileena had given her those qualities to make her stronger to fulfill her missions. When she created her, she thought of making her submissive. But she thought that if she created a darker version of herself, but less powerful, that would give her an avarice and anxiety to fill that power vacuum that only battle victories could fill. That sure made her Bodyguard loyal and effective.

Shahdee, even if she was a rebel and used to incite her Empress, she had never disappointed her. On this point, Kaileena was proud of her creation. She was the only of all her army that she would never destroy. The Crow hated her for that. She was her favorite one, and he wanted to have the privileges Shahdee had.

The Crow didn’t take long to find her. She was in the dining room, talking to some Raiders and some Assassins at the time she was eating. Curiously, they were speaking of Kaileena, but they didn’t say any offensive word.

“She´s very weird lately.” One said.
“Yes, she hasn’t left the Throne Room in weeks.” One of the Assassins said.
“Shahdee, you know her better than us. What do you think? What bothers her?”
“I don’t know.” She lied. She couldn’t say anyway that Kaileena feared for her death at the hands of a human. If she said that, the soldiers might revolt. “I only know that something´s coming to the Island.”
“It must be something really dangerous when she has strengthen the Castle´s Defenses.”
“Even more to send a ship to face it and finish it!” One said. “Who will go in that ship?”
“The Empress has asked me to ready a crew, but I don’t really know who to pick up. I don’t know if I should take the best soldiers with me or leave them here to defend the Island.” She sighed. “I only hope this doesn’t take very long. Every day she grows more irritated. Depletion is making her to behave more enraged than usually.”
“True, this last week, all those who have been called by her had ended dead …”
“Then, let´s hope she doesn’t call us.” She said, and right then, a voice called her.
“Shahdee.” The Crow said.
“Shouldn’t you be praising the Empress?” She asked him, irritated. She hated him, like many creatures on the Island.
“The Empress wants to see you. She wants to speak with you.” He announced.

Shahdee wasn’t able to say anything. The soldiers looked at her, fearful. Doubting, she got up and followed the Crow to the Throne Room. After what had happened that week, going there was too risky. When she arrived, the Crow stood to the Empress´ right. Kaileena was starting to show weakness for what was happening.

She was pale, her eyes were red from all those nights with no rest, and her looks revealed that she wasn’t in a good mood. Any creature on the Island would run away after seeing her like that. She was like a volcano about to erupt.

Shahdee reached the stairs to the Throne and bowed, showing the Empress respect.

“Did you wish to speak with me, Empress?” She asked.
“Yes.” She answered, seriously. “There has been a change in our plan.”
“What is it?”
“The crew must consist of Raiders. They will beat our enemy´s allies easily. The better ones must stay here.”
“But … Who will eliminate the one who retreats your life?” She asked, confused.
“Me?!” Shahdee was shocked. “Why me?”
“Are you questioning my decisions?!” She asked, raising her head to show superiority.
“No, Empress.” She denied, looking down. “But I think it would be more reasonable that I stay here with you in case that the patrol fails.”
“That’s why I´m leaving here the best soldiers. Although I trust you won´t fail me. I wouldn’t like to have to destroy you.”
“You threaten me to destroy me?!” Shahdee couldn’t believe her Mistress’ words. “I have served you since you created me! I have kept away more enemies than anyone else!”
“I know, but with the years you have become bolder and disrespectful. I don’t know if I can trust you. Think of this mission as a loyalty test.” As she spoke, she used a more serious tone. “Then, I may forgive you for what you say of me behind my back.”
“What?! Me?! Speak behind your back?!” Shahdee analyzed the situation. “The Crow has told you that, hasn’t he?” She looked at him. “You´re turning her against me to take my place, aren’t you?! Bastard!” She looked at the Empress again. “Empress, stop listening to him. He´s trying to confuse you!”
“How dare you accuse me of such thing?!” The Crow complained.
“Calm down, Crow.” Kaileena looked at Shahdee with contempt. “I know very well what I´m doing, Shahdee. Now go.”

Shahdee showed a grimace, bowed, and left. Kaileena was being brainwashed by the Crow. He had said huge lies to turn her against Shahdee. She was sure of that. Otherwise, she would have never sent her to that mission.

In the following weeks, Shahdee had reunited a group of Raiders for the mission. She had trained herself thoroughly. She had to do whatever to avoid death. And, after the mission, she would talk to Kaileena seriously to open her eyes and show her that she was innocent. She had to take her away from the Crow anyway.

The day came closer. Kaileena´s death was near. He would arrive that night. She was in the Main Hall, thinking how could the time to test her plan already arrive. “Too soon” she repeated to herself again and again. She saw Shahdee approaching her. She hoped that the guards she had sent to the Prince´s time confirmed her wishes of the ship to never arrive, but Fate wasn’t by her side.

“His ship approaches to our shores, just as the Timeline foretold.” Shahdee announced. “I´m sorry, Empress.”
“Have you done as I said?” Kaileena spoke with a soft voice. She was seized by fear in that moment. She didn’t see any way out.
“The crew is assembled and the ship is ready.” Shahdee confirmed.
“Good. Then go to his Timeline and attack him at sea …” She ordered. “And kill him! Kill them all!!!”
“As you wish …” She said reluctantly as she bowed.
“I do not appreciate your tone.” She warned her, threatening.
“You know you can´t change the Timeline, you cannot escape your fate. And yet you send me to this suicide mission!”
“How dare you?!”
“The Timeline said that the Prince would arrive! Whatever we do, he will! We´ll fail!”
“If you fail and he reaches the Island, I swear that I´ll kill you with my own hands. So fulfill your mission and do whatever you must to end with that human! Come on!” She shouted, pointing at the door. “Go!”

Shahdee looked at her one last time with hate before turning around to leave. Kaileena watched her go away, full of rage. She headed to her room, but someone stood in her way. After taking two steps, the Crow appeared in front of her.

“You´ve done well, Empress. Shahdee was starting to be irritant.”
“Go away, Crow.” She ordered, avoiding him and following her path. “I don’t wish to talk to anybody. I want to be alone.”
“But, Mistress, will you be able to sleep in such an important moment?” Kaileena stopped when she was going up stairs and turned sharply.
“Look, I don’t know what you pretend. But I´m tired of you trying to manipulate everything I do. I remind you that I´m your Empress!”
“Empress, please. I´m just worry about your safety. Admit that without me you would have gone crazy.” He went closer, took her hair aside and whispered. “You know you need me, and not only to satisfy your loneliness.”
“Enough!” She shouted, pushing him away. “I´ve been too benevolent with you … Stay away! Do what you have to do and watch over the Island!”
“As you wish.” And he disappeared, offended.

Kaileena reached the Hourglass Room. She placed her hand on it. It was empty. But if the Prince managed to kill her and her soul was sentenced to disappear, the Sands of Time would be enclosed in it, waiting to be used. The waiting was killing her. Would Shahdee defeat such a human? Would she change her fate? All she could do was to wait.

Shahdee was already on the ship, looking for the Prince´s vessel. Fate was favorable. A horrible storm whipped the Island´s surroundings. One of the Raiders asked his captain about the orders.

“Shahdee, what will we do?”
“Sink that ship.” She said, looking straight. “The storm is very fierce. If we manage to sink it, I doubt they will reach the Island alive. And if any of them do it, They´ll be weak and the soldiers there will finish them easily.”
“What do you plan to do?”
“First we´ll engage their ship. When you´re on it, we´ll crash our ship with theirs. Our prow is strong, it will pierce the flank easily.”
“And what if they try to climb to our ship?”
“We´ll stand there as long as we can and we´ll kill as many enemies as we find. You take care of the sailors. I´ll get the Prince.”

That night, the waters around the Island would become red. Shahdee was risking her life in this battle. She had to be victorious or she would die at Kaileena´s hands if she came back defeated. But if she was defeated and she didn’t manage to escape, the Prince would be the one to kill her.

I hope I translated everything right ... :S I had to change some words from the Spanish version to make sense!

09-07-2011, 11:36 AM
Wow you're on a roll, I'm short on time these days but I'll read these last 2 chapters in the weekend

09-08-2011, 02:35 AM
Great! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif But don´t worry, there´s time. You know, I started the spanish version last summer, and I finished it a year later XD This fic is bringing out more things that what I thought. On DeviantArt, there´s a guy that, if he gets some free time, he would like to ilustrate some important scenes from the story! And also, on my forum, one of the users wants to do the same.

09-27-2011, 05:00 PM
I've read up to chapter 4 (will read number 5 tomorrow), and so far I'm liking it, I like how it's told from the point of view of Kaileena, and the Island of Time co. It's nicely written.

09-28-2011, 09:48 AM
I bring another chap! ^^ Some expressions were really difficult to translate, so if you find something with no sense, please tell me and help me to translate it properly.

Chapter 6: Attack at sea

Nothing past the ship´s bow was visible because of the storm. However, the Prince could feel that they were close to the Island of Time. He told his men to be on their guard. He had some men watching the sea in search of rocks. If they crashed, they would be in trouble.

Suddenly, a beam blinded them. He thought he had seen something behind the clouds. He tried to look deeper, but he didn’t see anything, so he turned around, thinking it was just his imagination. But then, a rain of hooks tied to ropes fell over them. They were in fire, and soon, the ship started to burn as they reached its wood.

The deck was a chaos. The sailors ran around, not knowing what to do. They were confused. The enemy was taking them closer with the ropes. The Prince let his cloak fall, unsheathed his blade and shouted:

“Ready your weapons!”

All his partners found their weapons and ran to the side where the Prince was standing, watching as the enemy brought them closer. He saw the soldiers on that ship, and at that moment, the Amulet started glowing.

“Sand Creatures … But, this Amulet can hold them?” He thought, analyzing the situation.

The ship reached the other one. But they didn’t attack yet. That disturbed the Prince. Between the Sand Creatures, a feminine figure showed up, brandishing two swords.

“The Empress?” He thought. “No, it would be too risky for her.”

That woman was Shahdee. She stared at the Prince for a moment, with a smile on her lips. But she changed her face, showing contempt and then ordered her soldiers to attack.

“Kill him.”

And like if they were mad, they jumped over his men. The Prince was forced to step back to fight.

“Untie the hooks.” Shahdee ordered to the creatures who stood in her ship. “Let´s sink that vessel.”

The Prince tried to make his way through the rubble while the ship started burning more and more. He found his first opponent. That creature hided his face behind a skull of some kind of animal. After killing him, a cloud of Sand got into his Amulet. Now, one of the six circles in it was glowing. He saw the moon in the middle of it started filling up. It looked like the Dagger. He tried to press the moon button, but nothing happened.

“It doesn’t work? Why?” He said to himself, frustrated.

He ignored that and kept walking, killing as many enemies as he found in his path. Shahdee stared at him from her ship. If he continued like that, he would find the way to jump over her boat. She had to stop him. Seeing that he was next to the mast, she ordered one of her men to shoot the catapult aiming to the high part of it. Everything fell over the Prince, who fell to the inside of the ship.

“Damn him! He´s too lucky.” She turned to her soldiers. “Stop shooting and start the attack maneuver. We have to sink that ship now!”

The cellar was starting to flood and the parts away from the water were in fire. He also found more enemies there. His partners, dead. These creatures were easy to kill. Just three hits were enough to make them disappear into the Sands. He killed them all in some minutes. He could still get out through a corridor. He was about to go through it when two iron spears from the other ship broke through the wood. Water started entering in spurts. He had to get out of there! He walked the best he could though the water to the other side. Before reaching it, the other ship crashed with his and the Prince could see the prow of it going through the wood. His ship was breaking in two.

The enemy´s ship was, literally, inside his one. If he ran, he could reach it. He finally arrived to the cellar. On his right there was a rope tied to the floor, very tense. That rope was tied to the top of the sail. An idea came to him and, not thinking it twice, he cut the rope and he was shot to the outside. He softened his fall with the sail and he jumped over the other ship. Then, he saw his target: the girl in black. He approached her killing all the enemies, finishing their pathetic lives.

He reached the place where the captain waited for him. One of his men had managed to reach the other ship, getting close to her. He tried to attack her, but she cut his throat easily. The Prince walked up the stairs and watched her, waiting for him.

“You won´t reach our shores alive.” She sentenced.
“For your own sake, you better hope I don´t!”

And then, a brutal fight started between the Empress´ bodyguard and the Prince of Persia. The Prince attacked, but Shahdee blocked him crossing her two blades. She repelled his attack with a kick which nearly touched the Prince. That only enraged him even more. He threw his second sword, trying to injure her. Shahdee was faster and backed away. Then, she decided that it was time to stop defending herself and attack, and using one of the Prince´s attacks, she blocked it and tried to cut his throat. Unfortunately, she just managed to cause him a cut on his face between his eyes.

“You *****!” He shouted.

The Prince tried to jump over her, but when he landed on the floor, he found a painful surprise. Shahdee hit him right in his “royal jewels” that made him fall to the ground, screaming in pain. Shahdee kicked him more times while the injured Prince writhed in pain.

“And you call yourself a master swordsman?” She mocked. That enraged the Prince more and he got up. “You have two choices: Run, or die!”

The battle continued a few minutes more, until the Prince and Shahdee fought blade to blade, waiting for the other one to step back. Shahdee could feel it, this human wouldn’t give up. He was stronger than what she had thought. She had to distract him.

“It seems that the Empress has overestimated your abilities.” She said proudly.
“The Empress?!”

That surprised the Prince. Because of that, he let his guard down for a second, enough time for Shahdee to use her blades to throw the Prince´s sword against the wood, leaving him unarmed. It was the moment she so waited for. After throwing his sword to the wood, she turned and hit his opponent in the face with her elbow which made him start bleeding. Then, she kicked him in the face. He was stunned now. Finally, she took advantage of his position near the rail and she kicked him one last time in his neck, leaving him unconscious and throwing him to the sea.

She leaned out and the saw the trace that the Prince had left in the water after his fall and the bubbles coming out. Her soldiers did the same. Shahdee walked to the place where she had thrown his sword, took it and threw it to the sea, still watching to make sure that he didn’t stay afloat.

“Finish this and get back to the Island.”

I know this chapter is boring ... But it will become more interesant, I promise!

09-29-2011, 09:42 AM
Nah, it's not boring, there's a battle scene http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif how can it be boring ?

09-29-2011, 11:45 AM
Originally posted by Grafferu:
Nah, it's not boring, there's a battle scene http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif how can it be boring ?

Well, it´s basically the same from the game. I havent changed many things for this chapter. But the next one will start with something really violent ... XD

09-29-2011, 03:05 PM
But the next one will start with something really violent ... XD
Can't wait xD

10-05-2011, 03:47 PM
Another chapter. When I had it finished my laptop turned off !!! I hate iiiiiiit!!!!

Chapter 7: Fail. Persecution through the Island

Kaileena wasn’t able to sleep. She only turned around in her bed. She needed to calm down anyway, to vent. She wasn’t going to resort to the Crow, she wanted to stay away from him. The only thing that could relieve her despair in that moment was a bloodbath.

She still had some prisoners who had not died after all the tortures she made them suffer to get some fun. So, she went to the Prison in search of her victim. She found a young girl, probably in her last teens. She was weak, but she would be useful. She ordered to some Executioners to take her to the Sacrificial Altar. The smell of death filled the whole room.

They walked up the stairs which leaded to a circular platform with curved columns on the edges. It looked like if it was a huge hand right about to close its cold claws. The Altar was in a small room with lots of candles, with a stone monument next to the wall and dry blood everywhere.

They chained the girl to the Altar, who still, though her weakness, tried to struggle to escape.

“Leave.” She ordered to her subordinates. When they left she turned to the girl, who looked at her with tears in her eyes. Kaileena held a dagger in her hands. “You know what´s going to happen to you, don’t you?” Kaileena loved to rattle her victims before torturing them to death. “Are you scared? Do you feel distress?”
“Please! I´m begging you! Let me go!” She begged, who then cried because Kaileena slapped her.
“I haven’t given you the permission to speak.” She said. “Now I´ll have to punish you …” She said, playing with the dagger in her hands.

Kaileena charged against the girl, stabbing her in her leg and twisting it while she spent all her energy crying and begging for mercy. But she didn’t listen. She only motivated the Empress, who started stabbing her in the stomach many times. The young girl wasn’t able to speak or cry, her body was giving her up. Her blood flew from her inside to the ground at an alarming rate, going through groove to the main platform and falling off the edge, like a fountain.

Kaileena kept stabbing the body of the girl even after she stopped breathing. She didn’t realize that she had died until she got tired of it. That made her happy. But, suddenly, her glance changed when she looked at the lifeless body of her victim. Her mind, which was tired after so many visions, started to make her loose sanity, and she saw herself there, on the floor, bloody and dead, with many injures across her body. Then, she felt a chill, she looked at her hands, stained with blood and backed away.

“What have I become?” She asked to herself.

The Goddess of Time hadn’t been created for evil goals. Quite the contrary, her task to ensure the good of the World of Mortals and make sure that nothing would interfere with the Timeline. But her envy for the other Gods had taken her soul, giving path to the rage and hate she had hold back to become all the opposite of what she was supposed to be. Even if her appearance implied that she was a delicate and beautiful young woman, under her skin she had created a monster which had become the master of her soul and heart, making her despise and hate everything around her, no matter the consequences.

In the Present, the storm seemed to ease. The waves brought the remains of the Prince´s ship and some bodies of the ones who didn’t survive. Surprisingly, the Prince arrived to the shore alive, but exhausted, so he spent all night unconscious.

When he opened his eyes, his head was spinning, his body ached from the hits received, and he could still feel how the scar on his face still burned. Suddenly, he felt a ***** on his neck. Another one on his arm. When he focused his vision, he saw himself surrounded by black crows trying to eat him.

His first reaction was to slap them, but they came back . The Prince, tired of those repulsive birds, took a small stick from the ground to use it as a sword, since his wasn’t there, and he charged against them, killing them. Then, he saw the havoc of the battle from the previous night.

“My crew … All are lost! I will find the one who did this … and she will pay!”

Shahdee, who had already landed, decided to take a look at the beach to make sure that no one survived. She counted on that until she saw the Prince. Then, her hopes vanished.

“It can´t be … He´s alive!” She said, hiding behind a wall so that he couldn’t see her. She turned to a soldier who came with her and told him “Get the others, we have to kill that human!”

In the time the soldiers got ready to annihilate the unwelcome visitor, the Prince looked a group of decomposing bodies, hanging over the water. They were three men. They had all succumbed to death, and the crows had devoured their bodies. That was a signal for visitors: Leave before being detected, or end like them. The message was clear.

The Prince continued his path. After some minutes walking, he reached a huge door. It was closed, but it had a hole near the ground where he was able to go through. Then, he found two Raiders like the ones who had attacked his ship. Seeing their reactions, he understood that he wasn’t welcome. The stick wouldn’t be very useful, so he avoided them and he climbed a wall. They didn’t manage to get to his position. He kept walking and he found two more. He took one´s weapon and threw them to a small lake bellow.

He reached a huge door with iron bars. It was oxidized and broken. Some centuries had gone over it. He climbed it and arrived to something that a long time ago was the Fortress Entry. The problem was that the access stairs were … vanished.

A sound alarmed him. He wasn’t alone. He looked around him, trying to find his enemy.

“Come on … I know you´re out there.” He said. “Show yourself!”

He heard steps behind him. It was, with no doubt, the woman who had threw him from his ship, Shahdee. He continued as if he had not heard her.

“Where I come from, we face our opponents.”

Shahdee was just behind him, a few meters away from him. She was getting ready to attack.

“And if our enemy is unarmed, we offer them a sword!”

And when he finished that phrase, Shahdee tried to attack him by surprise. But the surprised one was her, who received a hard hit from the Prince, falling to the ground. That hit hurt her. She wouldn’t defeat him. The Timeline was right. Her only chance was to warn the Empress, even if it was dangerous. The Prince turned to face her, who still tried to get on her feet. Luckily for her, the soldiers showed up to help her.

“Kill him!”

One of the Raiders went to assist her and jumped over him. He was the leader of the group. He was the only one who had a good weapon, the Spider Sword, one of the Swords from the Order of the Island of Time. They were special swords. The Spider Sword, the most simple of them all, had a balanced composition. Since it didn’t have any other special attribute, it was destined to the leader of the different squads.

The Prince made that Raider fall to the ground with a kick, and he let the sword go. It was a great chance for the Prince, who caught it and finished him. He turned to Shahdee, who stared at him with hate and fear at the same time. She chose to run away. She wasn’t sure of who was more dangerous: the angry Empress of Time or the Prince of Persia in rage.

The Prince found himself surrounded by many enemies. However, they were so stupid that they didn’t attack at the same time. One by one, the Prince killed them. He followed Shahdee and when he reached the next area, he found an entry to the Fortress he could reach, and with it, a new enemy.

It was one of the Crow´s subordinates, one of his numerous partners. Physically, all the members of this squad were identical, but the Empress’ right hand had been endowed with an intelligence and ability which were beyond the imagination of his own creator. She had unconsciously endowed him with a great capacity of manipulation, reason why this soldier knew how to cheat his partners to go in his place to go to dangerous places.

The strategy of this squad was curious. When they felt in danger, they vanished transformed in many crows and they searched for a place away from their enemy and wait there until he arrived to attack him. Obviously, the Prince wasn’t going to fall in that trick and he killed him like his other opponents.

After reaching the upper level, the Prince was able to enter the Fortress. The inside showed that the Island had been centuries abandoned. The place was tenebrous. There were leaks in many holes in the roof. The curtains, still hanging, remained there with cracks, waving in the wind which came in through the cracks on the walls. It was a real pity, it was a good castle. The Prince was so fascinated looking around him that he didn’t notice that he had a group of enemies under him.

“Kill him!” One shouted, alerting the others.

Those enemies were not match for him. He killed them easily. He cut one´s head off, broke another one in two halves and the last one just became Sands.

“I have made this journey for THIS?!” And like if he was being observed my someone, he raised his arms and, confronting his enemies. “Send foes worth my sword! Come on!”
“The Empress was right. He´s too dangerous.” Shahdee said to herself after seeing all that. “I must go through the Portal and deactivate it before he reaches me. At least we´ll gain some time.”

How wrong she was! The traps in the hall that leaded to the Portal didn’t work, and the Prince went through it fast. When he arrived, Shahdee was still waiting the whirlwind to raise her to take her to the Past. The Prince, seeing that his victim escaped, he jumped over her with his sword. But when he was going to attack, she vanished.

“Madness!” He shouted at the time he realized that he was away from the ground in the whirlwind. “What king of magic is this?!”

He watched how everything around him started to change. The rocks in the floor went back to the roof, everything returned to its original color and the room was illuminated with candles. He had travelled back in Time! Shahdee, who was going out of the Portal, turned around and saw him there, trying to stand up.

“Oh no!” She thought. “I cannot let him follow me!”

Hoping to daze him and so avoid him to follow her steps, Shahdee kicked him in the face, making him nearly faint. She ran away. The Prince, instead of running behind her, stayed there watching the changes in the Portal.

“It seems I have discovered one of the Time travelling Portals the Old Man spoke of.” He said, looking around. Then, he looked to the exit. “Good, I have one of the pieces of the puzzle. Let´s see where does that ***** in black take me.”

Well, I hope you like it. I´m gonna add more things "made by Cristina" (XD) as the story goes on http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

11-09-2011, 09:13 AM
It´s been a month since I posted this chapter and no one has left any review http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif If no one reads my story I think I wont translate any more chapters http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif This is depressing http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

11-09-2011, 10:34 AM
as said, please, leave a message. You KNOW. I love your stories http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif<3.
Anyhow, I really love how you change the gameplay to a story element. I really have respect for that
Further. Alot less grammar mistakes (Y).
Looking forward to the next.

11-14-2011, 04:43 AM
I read it Cristi
Wow Kaileena's a psychopathic killer http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif omg
what's happening to her ?

11-15-2011, 07:48 AM
Originally posted by Grafferu:
I read it Cristi
Wow Kaileena's a psychopathic killer http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif omg
what's happening to her ?

She´s being corrupted by the bad things of life ... She just loves killing and making people suffer. She´s a bad girl XD

I have to translate another chap http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

11-16-2011, 01:12 AM
She didn't seem that bad in the game http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif she just wanted to live

11-16-2011, 11:26 AM
Originally posted by Grafferu:
She didn't seem that bad in the game http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif she just wanted to live

Yeah, but I changed things a bit for my story http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif hehe

11-16-2011, 11:57 PM
Oh I get it, so will the ending of the story be different then the one in the game ?

11-17-2011, 06:09 AM
Originally posted by Grafferu:
Oh I get it, so will the ending of the story be different then the one in the game ?

Of course! Lets see, it follows the story of WW, but with some different details that will take the story to a different one from the game http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

There are 45 chapters, so there´s time to change things XD And the sequel is already by the 24th chapter. (And I have planned another sequel, and some more with new main characters XD) I think after this, I wont write in a loooooooooong time. The spanish version of deception took me a whole year!

I´ll bring a new chapter this weekend http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

11-18-2011, 09:20 AM
Sorry for the double post but I have a new chapter! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Chapter 8: Cornered

Kaileena washed her bloody hands in a recipient with water. Meanwhile, she rethought everything she had done during her exile. If she died, she was sure that her soul would be destroyed. She was sentenced to oblivion. Even if she begged the Gods to forgive her, they wouldn’t listen to her. Why was she enforcing to avoid a sure dead? The Laws of the Timeline were clear: “What is written in the Timeline, cannot be changed.”

However, she had done what she wanted since her birth, regardless of what the other Gods thought about it. It was Ormazd who discovered her, when he started suspecting after all those catastrophes in the World of Mortals.

He discovered her in bed with an aggressive king she had seduced and convinced to attack another kingdom. When Ormazd showed up in the room, Kaileena had no escape. She had been discovered by the most powerful God of all. She tried to face him, but she only managed to lose her powers with every attack she used against him. She was exhausted, with no energies. She had fallen in his trap.

From that day, she was forced to live with that form, forgotten and disgusted by the other Gods. Ormazd didn’t understand why she had done that. He saw Kaileena born as a Goddess. He followed her first steps. She would have been a Goddess admired in the World of Mortals is she had not been driven by greed and lust for power.

Ormazd had a special love for Kaileena. She wasn’t like the other Gods. He had seen something in her. He knew that, someday, the destiny of the World would be in her hands. But he never wondered that such a beautiful flower would fade.

Pained, he had to watch Kaileena enforce her penalty on Earth, watching as her soul became darker and darker. But he still maintained hope for Kaileena to be forgiven in the last second, and so be able to go back home. If she didn’t, one of the greatest treasures of the World of Gods would disappear.

Kaileena looked around her, wishing to go back home. That place was no more than another of the consequences of her actions. Maybe, the Prince had been sent by the Gods to finish her life, as a punishment for not redeem.

Sighing, she turned to leave to her chambers. But then, Shahdee entered the room running, agitated, with many wounds made by a sword. She was surprised to see her like that. She wondered why she came running. Would she had managed to kill the Prince? She had to know it.

“Well?” She asked, while Shahdee gasped for air. “What happened? Speak!”
“I tried my best, Empress.” Kaileena felt a chill when she heard those words. “He was too strong a fighter.”
“He reached the Island?” She asked, fearing the answer.
“Worse. He followed me through a portal.” She explained. “He´s here, now, in our time.”

Kaileena couldn’t hold it back. In a panic, she let her anger emerge and drove her hand to Shahdee, slapping her right in the face and making her fall to the ground. She walked to her position and placed her foot over her chest, pressing to avoid her getting up.

“How dare you to stand before and admit failure?! You should have died to protect me!!”
“I´ll not give my life for this foolishness!” She shouted, holding Kaileena´s leg and pushing her away. She got up and tried to attack her. “If you want to try to change the Timeline, you can do it yourself!”

Kaileena managed to hold Shahdee´s wrists to avoid her swords. Even so, she was in trouble. Her subordinate had just betrayed her. The Crow was right. But she had to fight. Shahdee would kill her, she was tired of her behavior. All the contempt she had showed was given back to her with the shape of sharp blades.

“After everything I´ve done …” She said. “I endowed you with more strength than anyone. How dare you?!”
“Enough! Your contempt has reached a limit above the tolerable! I won´t be under the command of such a tyrant like you!!”
“You´ll pay for this!”
“You don’t deserve to live!” She threatened.
“Damn traitor!!”

They fought for some minutes. Kaileena was in clear disadvantage. She had no weapons to fight with. There was a sword not far away, but she knew that if she tried to reach it, Shahdee would kill her. Kaileena heard some steps. Whoever it was, he stopped when he saw them fighting. She had to ask for help or she would die.

“You! Help me!” She shouted.

When she looked at him, she saw the man who would be her murderer. The Prince was there. She was cornered. What if Shahdee told him that she was the Empress? It would be her death sentence! Thinking about that, Kaileena could feel his sword going through her body.

Shahdee took advantage of her distraction and threw her to the floor, approaching the edge. Kaileena had to hang on to something, the edge was very close. In the last second, her hands managed to find somewhere to hold, remaining suspended in the air. She tried to go up, but she couldn’t.

She heard the sound of Shahdee´s boots getting closer. She felt something pressing on her fingers. She was going to finish her mission, killing her. Kaileena, couldn’t see anything but the vacuum under her feet. So, she just listened.

“Leave her alone!” She heard the Prince say. “You and I have unfinished business.”

After that, she could only wait and pray for her arms didn’t fail her. The battle was hard. Shahdee managed to throw his opponent away and she tried to go back to Kaileena to kill her, but the Prince didn’t allow her to do it. In one of those attempts, he wounded Shahdee in her arm.

“Do you hear it?” He asked. “My sword is calling you!”

Shahdee tried to attack the Prince, but he took advantage of her move to jump over her. Then, the same way she had hit him, he drew his leg against her, making her fall to the floor. Before she could get up, Shahdee felt the cold metal of the Spider Sword going through her stomach.

Kaileena heard her dying cry, and seconds after, she saw blood falling from the edge of the platform. She had no doubt about it, it was Shahdee´s blood. He had killed her. With every second, she saw things darker and darker. She even thought of loosing from the edge and fall to the vacuum under her feet. But the sound of steps broke her thoughts.

She looked up and saw face to face her murderer, staring at her. Luckily for her, the Prince didn’t recognize her and helped her up. She felt his breath touching her skin, making her shudder. She had to get out of there. So, without saying a word, she started walking, hoping he wouldn’t recognize her.

“Wait!” He shouted, approaching her.

Kaileena stopped, not knowing what to say. Would he have discovered her? She could have run away, but the Prince would have followed her and she would have discovered herself. She breathed deeply and turned to face the man who would finish her life.

“What do you want from me?” That was the only thing she managed to say. She saw him coming closer to her and she shuddered even more.
“I seek an audience with the Empress.”

A huge relief ran through her body. He didn’t recognize her! That would give her more time and advantage. Now, she just had to get rid of him. Knowing that he thought that she was just a servant, the best thing she could do was to say that the Empress would not want to see him. Maybe, she would gain more time with that excuse, or even get rid of him forever.

“The Empress meets with no one. Who do you think you are?”
“I am the Prince of Persia.” He announced.
“I see … Today is a very important day, Prince. She cannot be disturbed.” She answered.
“I don’t think you understand how important this is!”
“Fool …” A voice said behind them. It was Shahdee. The Prince protected Kaileena, who hid behind him. “Don’t you know … You cannot change your Fate?” And after that, she exploded in a cloud of sand.
“`You cannot change your Fate´ … Was she speaking to me? How could she know my mission?”
“Mission?” Kaileena thought. “Pretty way to call your intentions of killing me.”

Their thoughts were broken by the sound of cracking rock. They looked at the roof and saw it falling over them. They ran to the stairs, but they were trembling. It was unsafe to step on them. Over their heads, the upper level started to fall. Kaileena couldn’t remain there. If she wanted to get away from him, she had to cross.

“Watch out!” He shouted, trying to hold her. Everything fell under a cloud of dust. When it dissipated, the Prince could see Kaileena at the other side of the stairs. “Stay there. I will find my way to you.”
“No, Prince! Leave this place and never return!” She insisted. “The Empress has no love for the world of men. She will kill you if she learns of your presence.”

After that threat, Kaileena left the room. She was trembling. If the Prince had known who she was, or if Shahdee had told him, she wouldn’t be walking to the Throne Room. Her legs failed her, she wasn’t able to take more than two steps without falling. She reached the Access Hall. She was walking up the stairs to the Hourglass chamber when, suddenly, a vision assaulted her mind. This time, the pain was more. She tripped and fell on her knees near the wall. Again, she saw herself dying at the Prince´s hands.

“Hey, what´s the Empress doing there?” Asked a Raider to his partner when they saw her.
“Something´s wrong with her!” They ran to Kaileena and tried to help her. “Empress, what happens?”
“Don’t touch her!” A voice ordered. It was the Crow. He walked closer and spoke to her. “Mistress, what happened?”
“Crow …” She said, weak by the vision. “You were right. Shahdee had … betrayed me.”
“Betrayed?” One of the Raiders asked, amazed.
“Shahdee would never do such thing.” The other one added.
“And what happened?” The Crow asked.
“She failed in her mission.” She explained. She was getting weaker. The Raiders had to hold her. “The Prince followed her through a Portal. I´ve seen his face … “She mourned, lowering her head.
“And what about Shahdee?”
“Dead. The Prince killed her when she was trying to kill me. Fortunately, he doesn’t know I am the Empress. I don’t know what to do.”
“Empress.” He said. “Let me take Shahdee´s place. I´ll protect you better than she did.”
“But you´d need more power.”
“I know. But maybe you should give me more power than what you gave her. It would be safer. As your servant, I beg you to endow me with the most power you can, Empress.”

Kaileena became silent. She didn’t know what to do. It was risky. The Crow wasn’t created to hold so much power. She didn’t know the consequences it could bring. But, what choices did she have?

“Alright. I´ll give you part of my powers …” A light started to shine on them, while the two Raiders stared each other, unable to believe what was happening right in front of them. After finishing, Kaileena felt herself weaker. “Crow … Prevent what the Timeline foretold. Don’t allow him to kill me”

Kaileena closed her eyes, exhausted. She was too weak to remain awaken. She was tired from the past days, but endowing the Crow with her powers was too much for her.

“Take her to her chambers and make sure she rests. Put guards in all the hall, doors and even inside of the room if it´s necessary.”

The Raiders obeyed and they both took the Empress to her room, weaker than never. If the Prince had found her in that moment, he could have killed her even without using his sword. Some servant girls stayed in the Empress´ chambers with her, while the soldiers watched the surroundings. The Crow had given clear orders. There was a human on the Island and the Empress´ wish was to see him dead.

Well, here it is http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif Who wants more?? I have many chapters!

11-18-2011, 11:45 AM
I'm starting reading! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

11-18-2011, 11:54 AM
Originally posted by LoryBlackWolf:
I'm starting reading! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Weeeeeee!!!! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

11-18-2011, 01:19 PM
I've read the first chapter http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif wow, Kayleena wasn't seem so violent... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif but I like this, I'll write a comment for every chapter.

11-18-2011, 01:33 PM
Originally posted by LoryBlackWolf:
I've read the first chapter http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif wow, Kayleena wasn't seem so violent... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif but I like this, I'll write a comment for every chapter.

Great!! But its Kaileena, not Kayleena XD

11-19-2011, 06:42 PM
I love those familiar moments,and how you make a story of it http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif.
what will come next...

11-20-2011, 01:15 AM
Originally posted by victorjr:
I love those familiar moments,and how you make a story of it http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif.
what will come next...

You´ll see it soon http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

11-21-2011, 03:09 AM
What's Ormazd doing here ? you're not making a crossover between the 2 sagas are you ? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif
Besides that you should do a drawing about Kaileena and the Crow dude getting ... together http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/winky.gif

11-21-2011, 04:46 AM
Originally posted by Grafferu:
What's Ormazd doing here ? you're not making a crossover between the 2 sagas are you ? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif
Besides that you should do a drawing about Kaileena and the Crow dude getting ... together http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/winky.gif

Well ... I´ve chosen Ormazd as the biggest God since its the one I know the most because of the other game. I´ve also added more Gods, but Ormazd is very related to Kai in this story. You´ll see heheh

Also, the Prince of that game will show up in the secquel as a bad guy who later comes back again as a good guy XD heheeh XD

Does that count to add the story to the LB group in DA??? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

The truth is that I would love to make drawings of many scenes, but my skills are not so good to do that (i would need a lot of pics from the game to see the faces) and i dont really have the time http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif I would love if someone asked me to do it, really. One of my forum members was going to do it, but she started high school so ... bye bye drawings. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif Some think that I would get angry if they draw my story. No! If they say where does the idea come from I dont have any proplem with that. What´s more, I would even help explaining how is the scene in my mind if its not clear in the story XD

Anybody wanna try it? http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/halo.gif

11-22-2011, 04:42 AM
So it IS a crossover between the 2 sagas http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif well ... let's see how it goes
The crow master should be fun to draw, he looks bada$$ but I'm not sure I have the time right now, maybe in the near future ...

11-22-2011, 07:47 AM
Originally posted by Grafferu:
So it IS a crossover between the 2 sagas http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif well ... let's see how it goes
The crow master should be fun to draw, he looks bada$$ but I'm not sure I have the time right now, maybe in the near future ...

Well if you count that as a crossover, a light crossover XD Well, the truth is that in another secquel, one of the next main characters will be phisically inspired in Elika XD

01-20-2012, 05:18 PM
Well, I´ve received some messages with the same thing "when are you going to update?" Sorry xD I was so inspired writing the end of the sequel that I couldnt get time to translate. But dont worry, I will do it more frequently from now on. Promise!

Ok, since it seems that Ubi has put a limit on posts too, I´ll have to put a link to my DA account to show you the chapters. And assuming this, sure the old ones have been cut by the half.

So, here´s the chapter http://kaileena750.deviantart.com/art/Chapter-9-280510919

Ubi, you´re making things more difficult instead of easier!

01-21-2012, 01:54 PM
The last chapter makes me want more! Just amazing, looking foroward to read the rest of the story. and I love the small changes u make in the story, and that they fit is really cool. Keep it up ^^

01-21-2012, 02:55 PM
I for Elika and the Prince! We do not need another! Give continuation of the story with the same characters! Ubisoft, will not spoil the game as a spoiled "Assassin's Creed: Revelations"!

eeerm ... what?

01-21-2012, 03:03 PM
eeerm ... what?

I think he/she is just going over the forums and shouting this.....also he/she posted this in the wrong thread XD

01-21-2012, 03:31 PM
I hope the mods do somethin soon ¬¬ I havent been writing to see a stupid post. I expected a review of my last chapter.

01-21-2012, 05:47 PM
Damn Kaileena's one mean bi*** http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/lachen/laughing-smiley-014.gif she wants to kill his whole family ? very ruthless .... and still she's afraid of the Dahaka ? how's that possible ?

01-21-2012, 05:56 PM
Damn Kaileena's one mean bi*** http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/lachen/laughing-smiley-014.gif she wants to kill his whole family ? very ruthless .... and still she's afraid of the Dahaka ? how's that possible ?

Because the Dahaka return to Kai all the things she did to him XD There´s nothin worse than an angry Dahaka! :P

PS: Thanks for reading ^^

01-22-2012, 03:56 PM
I wonder who would win in a battle between them :P

01-22-2012, 06:36 PM
hehehe, well, that battle happened before she was exiled, and she won.

New chapter!! http://kaileena750.deviantart.com/art/Chapter-10-280924609

You wont have any objections huh??? 2 chapters in 2 days!

01-23-2012, 04:24 PM
If she defeated the Dahaka before, why is she afraid of him now ? http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/fragend/confused-smiley-016.gif

Anyways great chapter again, Kaileena's death approaches http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/grinser/grinning-smiley-048.gif

01-24-2012, 01:51 PM
Visions of Death-> Bad thing
Prince from the visions of death on the Island-> Very bad thing from a bad thing on the island
Dahaka following the Prince from the visions of death on the Island -> Such a BAD BAD thing following the very bad thing from a bad thing on the Island.

Get it? :P If she didnt have enough problems, now she has another huge problem xD

01-25-2012, 07:21 PM
Hmmm I see ...

02-29-2012, 10:56 PM
New chapter ^^

In DeviantArt: http://kaileena750.deviantart.com/#/d4re7zi
In Fanfiction: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6395383/12/Prince_of_Persia_Deception

This chapter isnt very different from the game, but things will change soon, very soon :P