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daydark87
08-04-2009, 04:00 AM
It's a story about Ezio, all it's about is keeping the story rolling after the last contributor to the story, there are no limitations to how insane/wild/random the story can get, except the forum rules of course.

Anyways I'll start:

Ezio woke up from a good night of sleep, He looked out the window and...

Xanatos2007
08-04-2009, 04:16 AM
...realised there were already too many game threads on this forum. So the moderators...

Stormpen
08-04-2009, 05:00 AM
..were assaulted in their homes, so Devs....

AetosEagle
08-04-2009, 05:02 AM
...decided to move the moderators to their headquaters, but...

Stormpen
08-04-2009, 05:04 AM
...they were once again attacked by a drunken Da Vince who breathed on them....

Xanatos2007
08-04-2009, 05:21 AM
...alcohol fumes ignited by a candle. Everybody tried to put out the fire but Patrice...

Stormpen
08-04-2009, 05:52 AM
.... decides to get the fire extinguisher, but drops it on Jades foot, thereby....

bladencrowd
08-04-2009, 05:54 AM
...Causing Jade to to grab the nearest computer and chuck it and Patrice, resulting in...

MeAltairLol
08-04-2009, 05:55 AM
... alot of Assassin's Creed 2 data lost. Patrice then made a public announcement that the game is going to be delayed, to which the fans reacted by...

Charlie_Romeo
08-04-2009, 05:57 AM
trying to kill Jade, Jade reacted by ...

Stormpen
08-04-2009, 06:04 AM
.... throwing the extinguisher at them, thereby concussing.....

MeAltairLol
08-04-2009, 06:40 AM
... Patrice yet again...

thekyle0
08-04-2009, 07:27 AM
...As Patrice was rushed to the hospital...

adam_the_ant
08-04-2009, 07:46 AM
...they were caught in a flash flood...

daydark87
08-04-2009, 08:07 AM
...Of Altair look-a-likes, causing the ambulance to...

thekyle0
08-04-2009, 08:35 AM
...be dragged to Masyaf where they will stand trial for not letting Altair swim...

bladencrowd
08-04-2009, 08:40 AM
...but on the way a group of Templars ambush them with...

Danvish
08-04-2009, 09:24 AM
...Chains they borrowed from "The bull" and while Patrice and Jade tried to escape...

bladencrowd
08-04-2009, 09:29 AM
...Ezio and Desmond fight a horde of monkeys with...

UchihaKarasu
08-04-2009, 09:34 AM
...wings and were being ordered around by a strange green women in a pointy hat, who was saying something about a little dog named...

MeAltairLol
08-04-2009, 09:46 AM
... Richard, which struck Patrice as a very strange name for a dog, but Jade thought it was a very good name, so they...

Danvish
08-04-2009, 09:51 AM
Originally posted by MeAltairLol:
... Richard, which struck Patrice as a very strange name for a dog, but Jade thought it was a very good name, so they...

..Decided to adopt a lion, named William which was..

MeAltairLol
08-04-2009, 09:55 AM
... three-legged and lived underwater. Patrice decided to implement that in the upcoming AC by...

Danvish
08-04-2009, 10:00 AM
... adding a statue of a three-legged lion living underwater, and by giving Ezio...

bornforhaze
08-04-2009, 10:03 AM
...the power to summon the beast and make it do his bidding...

UchihaKarasu
08-04-2009, 10:06 AM
...of making him a grilled cheese sandwich whenever he wished, but the program backfired and the lion...

Danvish
08-04-2009, 10:17 AM
...Actuallya ate Patrice and therefor prevented a 3rd AC, but then Jade came and...

Altaezio
08-04-2009, 10:20 AM
.....Gave The Lion Tainted Cheerios which....

MeAltairLol
08-04-2009, 10:23 AM
... decided it was hammertime, therefore she put an easter egg in AC2 of Patrice in parachute pants, so...

thekyle0
08-04-2009, 10:24 AM
...Made the lion puke up Patrice who then puked up...

Altaezio
08-04-2009, 10:25 AM
....Altair's severed body parts which made Jade.....

thekyle0
08-04-2009, 10:28 AM
...Hungry. They all went to a restaurant called...

Altaezio
08-04-2009, 11:47 AM
....McCannibols, nd they ordered....

EmperorxZurg
08-04-2009, 11:53 AM
...nachos with human eyes which destroyed...

thekyle0
08-04-2009, 12:05 PM
My appetite, so I split the kidney I order with Patrice. He didn't finish it though...

bladencrowd
08-04-2009, 12:11 PM
...it was his favorite meal. Instead he threw it at...

EmperorxZurg
08-04-2009, 12:11 PM
...Ezio who proceded to start stabbing...

thekyle0
08-04-2009, 12:16 PM
...the crap out of the waiter because he served Ezio's revenge hot instead of cold. Now everyone goes to...

EmperorxZurg
08-04-2009, 12:25 PM
...the western times to battle the man with no name, but...

agentpoop
08-04-2009, 12:30 PM
There was a huge earthquake and chuck Norris came out of the ground............

revoltingbunny
08-04-2009, 12:31 PM
... Ends up fighting a named man wich...

bladencrowd
08-04-2009, 12:31 PM
...is shot in the head by Ezio, who then lost all his money in a game of...

UchihaKarasu
08-04-2009, 12:34 PM
Chess, so Ezio...

thekyle0
08-04-2009, 12:36 PM
... took the group away from the legendary battle and hid in...

EmperorxZurg
08-04-2009, 12:40 PM
...imagination land where terroists were trying to blow up the wall, so Ezio halped butters...

bladencrowd
08-04-2009, 12:57 PM
...while Lucy turned out to be Alex Mercer and began to attack...

AetosEagle
08-04-2009, 01:04 PM
...a massive, juicy, wet, delicious PILE OF HORSE TURD...

thekyle0
08-04-2009, 01:05 PM
...this story. thankfully it is constantly growing in imagination land so she/he will never finish killing it. Unless...

bladencrowd
08-04-2009, 01:12 PM
...Desmond is able to run 1 mile in 3 minutes while carrying 100 pounds of...

adam_the_ant
08-04-2009, 01:14 PM
...blood stained white feathers, however...

XIXDunedainXIX
08-04-2009, 01:22 PM
....he is not able to find a clean pair of clothes anywhere, so he...

bladencrowd
08-04-2009, 02:07 PM
...runs with a barrel around his body, while being chased by huge, angry...

thekyle0
08-04-2009, 02:59 PM
Vidic. Thankfully Desmond is wearing ear plugs so he won't be forced to obey Vidic's every command to "get in the Animus!" But unless he...

MeAltairLol
08-04-2009, 03:10 PM
... gets Ezio MSN addy, he will...

bladencrowd
08-04-2009, 03:30 PM
...be forced to eat 10 pounds of raw...

Andcus
08-04-2009, 05:20 PM
.....Raw Fanboy Mail, this pleased the standard overweight and childish AC fan, so they decided to.....

daydark87
08-04-2009, 10:56 PM
...breakdance furiously. All of this while the real Ezio was still standing in the morning, looking out the window at...

UchihaKarasu
08-04-2009, 11:17 PM
...myself (lol, i'm not egotistical at all http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif) debating whether or not he should assassinate or seduce http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif, ultimately he decided to...

EmperorxZurg
08-04-2009, 11:21 PM
...to put u out of ur misery and just shoot you, then...

Xanatos2007
08-04-2009, 11:42 PM
...a dinner plate flew out of nowhere and smacked him in the kneecap, causing him to miss and hit Patrice...

EmperorxZurg
08-04-2009, 11:43 PM
...but it was all a dream so patrice still made AC3, afterwards...

Xanatos2007
08-04-2009, 11:57 PM
...everybody got shocked to find out that it was in fact set during the Spanish Inquisition. So they gathered an army and...

EmperorxZurg
08-04-2009, 11:58 PM
...attacked Ubi holding them hostage saying they wanted the gaelic wars instead, however...

Xanatos2007
08-05-2009, 12:03 AM
...they were busy eating lunch, so they thought they'd come back another time. On the way out however...

revoltingbunny
08-05-2009, 12:24 AM
...Nothing happened and...

Danvish
08-05-2009, 01:29 AM
Originally posted by revoltingbunny:
...Nothing happened and...

They decided to expand AC to be 35 games, and they made the entire Ubi's personell to sit and start making it all, BUT then...

SpyderNynja
08-05-2009, 02:15 AM
...Ezio messed around with an artifact that transformed Patrice into a giant chicken so Jade...

Edengoth
08-05-2009, 02:21 AM
...explains to the press how to use the new Patrice Chicken interface in the game, but says that it can be frustrating because...

godsmack_darius
08-05-2009, 02:30 AM
...He keeps attacking you in the game but a good side to it is...

Danvish
08-05-2009, 02:35 AM
Originally posted by godsmack_darius:
...He keeps attacking you in the game but a good side to it is...

... You can eat chicken for dinner if you're really getting angry on it, problem is, it's a Canadian Chicken, so...

Xanatos2007
08-05-2009, 02:42 AM
...it tastes like blueberries. This can be easily solved by sprinkling it with...

godsmack_darius
08-05-2009, 02:50 AM
...Assassin sprinkly dust, which tastes like...

TastySandwich
08-05-2009, 04:07 AM
...The sweat of a thousand camels, fed only the finest quality...

SpyderNynja
08-05-2009, 04:45 AM
...of toilet paper, which makes them want to...

dakota94
08-05-2009, 05:21 AM
...jump around and watch vantage point (Assassin Movie) but were to...

bladencrowd
08-05-2009, 05:45 AM
...fat, thus causing the ultimate annihilation of the...

Xanatos2007
08-05-2009, 06:17 AM
...Canadians. After the Ubisoft development teams crawled out of their bunker...

Account_Deleted
08-05-2009, 06:38 AM
Originally posted by Xanatos2007:
...Canadians. After the Ubisoft development teams crawled out of their bunker...
To the view of a...

daydark87
08-05-2009, 07:27 AM
...genetically engineered Patrice Chicken, carrying a semiautomatic...

thekyle0
08-05-2009, 08:18 AM
...FN FAL and began firing at the fans. Thank fully, because he was a chicken he...

Altaezio
08-05-2009, 08:18 AM
........Jelly-Filled Doughnut, which he used to......

daydark87
08-05-2009, 09:33 AM
Originally posted by thekyle0:
...FN FAL and began firing at the fans. Thank fully, because he was a chicken he...

...turned into a...


Originally posted by Altaezio:
........Jelly-Filled Doughnut, which he used to......

...rewrite AC2 into a...

EmperorxZurg
08-05-2009, 09:36 AM
...a pure bloodfest of him being more gorey than prototype as...

thekyle0
08-05-2009, 11:07 AM
...the ESRB started to freak out and give AC another unfair rating. To get even, Ezio and Altair...

smoove03
08-05-2009, 11:25 AM
...did a special blending dance which morphed them into one person named...

RipYourSpineOut
08-05-2009, 12:28 PM
...Altzio who then proceeded to...

bladencrowd
08-05-2009, 01:42 PM
...use his improved eagle vision, which in fact was x-ray vision on...

daydark87
08-05-2009, 04:32 PM
...Jade Raymond...

godsmack_darius
08-05-2009, 05:31 PM
Adha then sees him doing this, therfore giving us the real reason why Adha left Altair

bladencrowd
08-05-2009, 05:52 PM
...Altair then goes on a mad killing streak across Acre using a...

revoltingbunny
08-05-2009, 06:01 PM
... Ray gun, and interferes with history causing...

SpyderNynja
08-05-2009, 06:35 PM
...the Vietnam war to never happen which means...

thekyle0
08-05-2009, 06:39 PM
...Communism prevails six years sooner in Vietnam, so America...

revoltingbunny
08-05-2009, 06:53 PM
... Would be a kingdom (HAHA!) Causing the world...

bladencrowd
08-05-2009, 07:16 PM
...to almost blow up but since Desmond ate 20 pounds of...

RipYourSpineOut
08-05-2009, 07:20 PM
2 week old nacho cheese that was first smeered ALL over...

SpyderNynja
08-05-2009, 08:19 PM
...Jade Raymond, because she had previously been...

daydark87
08-06-2009, 12:51 AM
...over smeared with...

agentpoop
08-06-2009, 01:02 AM
Sticky, gooey, white, stuff.Known as oreo filling( http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif) which had previously been....

Xanatos2007
08-06-2009, 02:28 AM
...the compiled data of AC2, causing her to mutate into an...

godsmack_darius
08-06-2009, 02:36 AM
...Revoltingbunny ( http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif) which then everyone on these forums start...

Xanatos2007
08-06-2009, 02:37 AM
...laughing. Distracted, the Ninja's in ghillie suits had the perfect opportunity to...

godsmack_darius
08-06-2009, 02:48 AM
.....Jump into the TV and save desmond from Abstergo, Meanwhile The Assassins eventually break into Abbstergo wondering what happened to Desmond.....


P.S. Go too Sleep..its 5 in the morning -_-

Stormpen
08-06-2009, 04:13 AM
... and oupon seeing Vidic, attempt to beat him to death, so Lucy attacks them with her clipboard, causing.....

Charlie_Romeo
08-06-2009, 06:30 AM
... her to lose all of her data she wrote down on her clipboard, whiched caued Vidic to ...

Backadd
08-06-2009, 06:51 AM
go to the local electronic store...

bladencrowd
08-06-2009, 06:57 AM
...and spend 1 billion dollars on...

RipYourSpineOut
08-06-2009, 07:04 AM
Sneaking tools(Rope, night vision googles etc), and sneaks into Ubisoft Montreal and...

thekyle0
08-06-2009, 07:08 AM
...rewrites the script to make himself the assassin. But before he succeeds...

Backadd
08-06-2009, 08:01 AM
...a drunk guard found...

UchihaKarasu
08-06-2009, 08:05 AM
...Ezio sleeping in a fish cart, who then...

bladencrowd
08-06-2009, 08:38 AM
...decided to switch all his weapons for fishes which led to him getting...

Backadd
08-06-2009, 02:32 PM
...a new house in...

godsmack_darius
08-06-2009, 04:11 PM
...Mars which then...

agentpoop
08-06-2009, 04:51 PM
was in dr manhattans neighborhood on mars which resulted in...

godsmack_darius
08-06-2009, 04:57 PM
Night Owl trying to kill Ezio, in an epic fight, the fiught starts off...

agentpoop
08-06-2009, 05:17 PM
with Ezio stabbing him in the stomach resulting in.......

EzioAuditoredf
08-06-2009, 06:34 PM
Ezio being slapped. He then wakes up from his (second, third?) daydream and falls out the window....

SpyderNynja
08-06-2009, 08:54 PM
...in Zack Snyder-esque slow motion, which allows him time to recover from the fall and...

Xanatos2007
08-06-2009, 09:11 PM
...make a gingerbread house out of brocolli and old men. Upon viewing it's design, Dr. Boksconovich...

SpyderNynja
08-06-2009, 10:14 PM
...tried to use ogre's blood on Ezio which made him grow...

agentpoop
08-06-2009, 10:18 PM
Huge resulting in....

EmperorxZurg
08-06-2009, 10:47 PM
... a plethora of hives the size of a mans face which made everyone...

Xanatos2007
08-06-2009, 11:03 PM
...giggle uncontrolably. So the Assassins set out to find the artefact that counters these effects so they can...

EmperorxZurg
08-06-2009, 11:15 PM
...but it was in that bowl that had voldemorts horcrux in it from the sixth book, so...

SpyderNynja
08-07-2009, 12:19 AM
Originally posted by Xanatos2007:
...giggle uncontrolably. So the Assassins set out to find the artefact that counters these effects so they can...

...save the world from death by laughter, but they approached the artifact...


Originally posted by d1sturbedme_468:
...but it was in that bowl that had voldemorts horcrux in it from the sixth book, so...

...Dumbledore drank from it and instead of killing him, it made him Ezio's size and they fought an epic battle over the skyline of...

Danvish
08-07-2009, 02:07 AM
...Panama City, but when Dumbledore was about to win and kill Ezio, suddenly Altair came..

Xanatos2007
08-07-2009, 02:20 AM
...to the conclusion that they were both insane, so he locked them both in seperate wardrobes for the remainder of...

SpyderNynja
08-07-2009, 03:56 AM
...the day, letting them out late the next night when they became friends and partied at...

Fristi61
08-07-2009, 05:11 AM
... the North Pole, where they pleaded with Santa to remove 'homicide' from the naughty list, but Santa...

thekyle0
08-07-2009, 07:21 AM
...decided to add begging to it instead. This made Ezio...

Xanatos2007
08-07-2009, 07:24 AM
...quite happy, since he was filthy rich. But, since Altair wasn't, he decided to hire a hitman to...

Fristi61
08-07-2009, 07:44 AM
...kill Santa, normally Altair would've done it himself but he didn't because...

thekyle0
08-07-2009, 08:17 AM
...then he would be on the naughty list. ...

Fristi61
08-07-2009, 09:13 AM
...And Altair doesn't want that because Santa has A Piece of Eden (yes, the flying deers are an illusion), what he doesn't know is...

EmperorxZurg
08-07-2009, 09:51 AM
...is that the easter bunny is already after Santa for being bigger than Easter, so...

averagejoe620
08-07-2009, 10:09 AM
...Big bird barged in and said "Stop, in the name of love". But love doesnt have a name, so...

EmperorxZurg
08-07-2009, 10:12 AM
...the Easter bunny used Big Bird as a meatshield and proceeded to destroy...

averagejoe620
08-07-2009, 10:15 AM
...The orb of confusion which allowed Santa to roundhouse kick big bird in the b*lls who then slapped the Easter Bunny...

SpyderNynja
08-07-2009, 11:03 AM
...causing him to go on a rampage through the streets of New York City (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcrg0B_yJAo)...

smoove03
08-07-2009, 11:07 AM
...so then altair decided to buy a easter bunny disguise and infiltrated the...

Fristi61
08-07-2009, 03:19 PM
...Headquarters of Santa inc., where he found out that Santa was in fact, a templar, and that Santa inc. was a part of Abstergo, but...

daydark87
08-07-2009, 03:21 PM
...Santas helpers were secret assassins...

Fristi61
08-07-2009, 03:28 PM
...and Lucy Stillman was one of them, so...

EzioAuditoredf
08-07-2009, 03:32 PM
Lucy proceeded to fight Santa with a halberd from AC2, who in turn pulled of his beard and revealed that he was actually Vidic

Fristi61
08-07-2009, 03:39 PM
...and then Lucy pulled off her beard to reveal that she was actually Maria...

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif

agentpoop
08-07-2009, 03:39 PM
resulting in vidic bribing ezio with toys but...

Xanatos2007
08-07-2009, 07:55 PM
...none were as cool as his new hidden blades that don't cut off fingers, which Altair was jealous of. Nevertheless, they both teamed up to...

(it'd be funny if this story ended up being the plot to ACIII)

SpyderNynja
08-08-2009, 12:42 AM
...fight space terrorists in space ships made of...

Xanatos2007
08-08-2009, 01:45 AM
...sinew and botox. Realising that they were outmanned and outgunned, they sought the help of Mikhail Kalashnikov who recruited Xanatos to...

Edengoth
08-08-2009, 01:50 AM
...eat every pie ever made by the Assassins' housebound spouses, while wearing extravagant hats that were pink, blue, yellow, and...

godsmack_darius
08-08-2009, 02:00 AM
...see through http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif which then made Vidic say...

Fristi61
08-08-2009, 04:07 AM
...that he was gonna go in super-vidic mode and kill the both of them if they did not...

Backadd
08-08-2009, 04:21 AM
....learn him to dance tango...

daydark87
08-08-2009, 06:15 AM
...And so began the creation of the game, dance dance revolution, Vidic, Ezio, and Altair were satisfied with there job so they...

Fristi61
08-08-2009, 06:28 AM
...lived their lives happily up until Santa used his piece of Eden to make them believe that...

Xanatos2007
08-08-2009, 06:36 AM
...Xanatos was a pinyata...

P459
08-08-2009, 06:44 AM
As Vidic, Ezio and Altair, beated Xanatos to death, they started to wonder...

Fristi61
08-08-2009, 08:28 AM
...why Desmond did not come to help them, this was because...

daydark87
08-08-2009, 08:32 AM
...That Desmonds is Xanatos *dramatic music*...

UchihaKarasu
08-08-2009, 10:23 AM
...The Uchiha came bursting in to save Xanatos/Desmond before he could completely beaten to death, and nursed him back to health, to which Ezio reacted by...

daydark87
08-08-2009, 10:26 AM
...telling Sakura, who then died of a broken heart...

SpyderNynja
08-08-2009, 10:27 AM
...singlehandedly destroying the Narutoverse(while Swift walks in the background like a ninja and no one notices http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif) Suddenly Lucy appears and tosses everyone in a giant, inflatable...

Xanatos2007
08-08-2009, 10:47 AM
...Godsmack Darius. As Al Mualim pondered the meanings of these strange new names, Xanatos dropped behind him silently and stabbed him with a...

UchihaKarasu
08-08-2009, 10:52 AM
...herring, and Ezio began to wonder what Al Mualim was doing here in the first place, only to realize...

(how the hell did Sakura get dragged into this story ????)

Xanatos2007
08-08-2009, 11:10 AM
...that his mother was there too, with cookies. As he approached her, suddenly an earthquake...

(who knows, the inventor of the AK-47 is somewhere here as well)

Fristi61
08-08-2009, 11:16 AM
...did NOT happen at this time (what a coincidence), instead, the herring suddenly turned into a giant shark and ate Al Mualim alive, this resulted in...

daydark87
08-08-2009, 11:33 AM
...the shark transformed herring, puking up Sam Fisher, who promptly took a shot at the head of...

UchihaKarasu
08-08-2009, 11:51 AM
Swiftslasher7, who matrixed out of the way of the bullet and it ended up hitting Michel Jackson...

daydark87
08-08-2009, 01:22 PM
...which concludes that there was in fact foul play, to MJs death. Sam fisher, not knowing whether to be happy he killed MJ or sad that he missed his target, decided to...

Fristi61
08-08-2009, 02:42 PM
...cook the Shark, serving it to Altair, Altair then...

SpyderNynja
08-08-2009, 07:53 PM
...scarfed it down in one bite, causing his...

EmperorxZurg
08-08-2009, 07:55 PM
...kidney to explode, blowing up the space time continuum, letting time travel be possible and decided to bring...

smoove03
08-08-2009, 08:48 PM
....multiple copies of himself from other timelines so he had an altair army of 1001 altairs in the present time.this resulted in...

Stormpen
08-08-2009, 09:02 PM
.... Malik getting a headache and eating dried frog pills, and Jade beating herself to death at the thought of animating 1001 Altairs, thus causing....

Xanatos2007
08-08-2009, 09:06 PM
...Xanatos to beat the world record for Awesome (again). Unfortunately, everyone else disagreed and decided to cut Xanatos from...

EzioAuditoredf
08-08-2009, 10:06 PM
the assassins creed forums :0, so he then proceeded to recucitate Jade Raymond, thus allowing...

Edengoth
08-08-2009, 10:22 PM
...her to put the finishing touches on AC2. But while she was out, she lost oxygen to her brain, causing her to forget a vital AC2 detail: the implementation of...

smoove03
08-08-2009, 10:26 PM
characters with opposing thumbs, causing the assassisn creed universe to degenerate into an ape-like society... which

EmperorxZurg
08-08-2009, 11:07 PM
turned into planet of the Apes and proceeded to start dancing to hip-hop songs uncontrollably so Ezio...

Xanatos2007
08-08-2009, 11:56 PM
...broke the stereo with his eyelids and called in Jesper Kyd to do the new music. As he was composing...

daydark87
08-09-2009, 03:03 AM
...Hitman 47 entered the room, looking for his target who was...

SWJS
08-09-2009, 03:38 AM
...Emeril Lagasse because...

Fristi61
08-09-2009, 04:31 AM
...Ezio had pait hitman a large amount of money to kill Emeril, Ezio did this because...

SWJS
08-09-2009, 04:37 AM
...Emeril cooks Italian recipes wrong and...

Fristi61
08-09-2009, 04:37 AM
...Ezio thinks that that's a disgrace, meanwhile, Desmond...

Xanatos2007
08-09-2009, 04:46 AM
...started dancing on the Animus. Vidic grew angry and flung his desk...

Altaezio
08-09-2009, 06:31 AM
..At His Cat, Which Made Lucy...

daydark87
08-09-2009, 07:40 AM
...scratch her thigh, which in turn made Ezio...

EmperorxZurg
08-09-2009, 09:50 AM
start acting like the serial killer from Scary movie whose mask always changes faces, when Vidic saw this on screen he...

Fristi61
08-09-2009, 09:53 AM
...ordered some popcorn, got in a chair, and watched...

daydark87
08-09-2009, 09:55 AM
...until the lame jokes made him facepalm himself so hard he...

EmperorxZurg
08-09-2009, 09:58 AM
had his palm go through his head killing him, then Patrice came in and revived him so he could...

Fristi61
08-09-2009, 10:04 AM
...facepalm himself again...

EmperorxZurg
08-09-2009, 10:06 AM
this time his palm went through Jack Sparrows head, but it was wen he was dreaming he was a zombie so it didn't kill him but did get Jack rly PO'd and started to attack Ezio so Jack could...

EzioAuditoredf
08-09-2009, 10:57 AM
kill and replace Ezio, for the ladies, of course. So Hitman curved his bullet through emeril's head and hit jack sparrow in the balls, thus making him...

Fristi61
08-09-2009, 11:08 AM
... ball-less, this allowed Ezio to gain the upperhand in the fight, proceeding to stab Jack in his...

EzioAuditoredf
08-09-2009, 11:40 AM
face, so he then yelled himself awake at the thought of killing his childhood idol, a pirate. Ezio then looked at his assassin's clock and realized he was late for...

thekyle0
08-09-2009, 12:08 PM
...an assassination, quickly he hurried to the carnival...

daydark87
08-09-2009, 12:28 PM
...but tripped on the way, faceplanting between the breasts of...

EzioAuditoredf
08-09-2009, 12:50 PM
15th century Jade Raymond, so Ezio was then attacked by Jade's enfuriated husband, who Ezio threw...

thekyle0
08-09-2009, 01:08 PM
...into the flying machine and launched it from the...

Fristi61
08-09-2009, 01:31 PM
...head of Altair, because he's awesome like that...

EzioAuditoredf
08-09-2009, 06:16 PM
and Jade Raymond's husband was then called flying demon and shot down, thus enabling Ezio and Altair to fight over newly-widowed Jade Raymond...

EmperorxZurg
08-09-2009, 06:19 PM
but they decided it wasn't worth it and went to go eat waffles at...

thekyle0
08-09-2009, 06:30 PM
...Kaxen's house, and that's how they were captured. ...

EmperorxZurg
08-09-2009, 06:32 PM
so the story is now looking at Ezio and Altair in the past before ANY of this happened when Altair was sleeping on a pillow the size of his fist inside...

EzioAuditoredf
08-09-2009, 07:46 PM
Ezio's apartment, and then Ezio wakes up for the billionth time

godsmack_darius
08-09-2009, 07:48 PM
With Leonardo Da Vinci looking dwon at him which thenleads too...

EmperorxZurg
08-09-2009, 11:52 PM
Ezio having to scare Leonardo away by showing him a pic of Mona Lisa that he didn't make while Ezio escapes to...

Xanatos2007
08-10-2009, 12:05 AM
...interrupt this story to annoy you and make things generally irritating:
http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/2291/gib.jpg
The SAS responded by...

daydark87
08-10-2009, 04:16 AM
...sending a team out to intercept Ezio, but Ezio allied himself with Altair, Mr. 47, Sam Fisher, and Chuck Norris, the ensuing battle...

Xanatos2007
08-10-2009, 05:05 AM
...resulted in all of them being consumed by Alex mercer who was disguised as the ground. Ezio woke up, pondering the meaning of these strange dreams when suddenly...

thekyle0
08-10-2009, 08:04 AM
...he realized his family had been killed so he went on a quest for...

Fristi61
08-10-2009, 08:53 AM
...French Fries, which he loved so much that...

SpyderNynja
08-10-2009, 10:22 AM
...a mass consumption of french fries turned him into Super Ezio aka David Belle enabling him to practice insane parkour which meant...

thekyle0
08-10-2009, 10:23 AM
...he took off his hidden blades to make room for hidden french fry carrying pouches. ...

EmperorxZurg
08-10-2009, 10:38 AM
and put the hidden blades on his boots as stilleto spikes just in case, when the marines found out they...

daydark87
08-10-2009, 02:10 PM
...called up Master Chief, who...

sm312
08-10-2009, 02:26 PM
...Who was Then attacked by Kratos and Ezio for no apparent reason then...

EmperorxZurg
08-10-2009, 02:51 PM
Ezio took them all out and now had to fight the prince of persia and Sora form Kingdom Hearts 2 in Final form with the Ultima weapon and chocobo so...

EzioAuditoredf
08-10-2009, 04:03 PM
he just said "screw that" and popped a french frie in his mouth, resulting in...

thekyle0
08-10-2009, 05:08 PM
...Ezio's need to return to Leonardo to buy more of his french fries. But when he got there...

EmperorxZurg
08-10-2009, 05:23 PM
they only had German fries so Ezio decided to destroy Germany since their fries sucked, so then Cloud came in and...

SpyderNynja
08-10-2009, 06:19 PM
...did nothing because he doesn't think he's strong enough so he goes to be emo in the corner as Ezio...

EzioAuditoredf
08-10-2009, 06:21 PM
is looting all the stolen french fries in berlin

EmperorxZurg
08-10-2009, 06:34 PM
right when the Russians came in{this was ww2} and took it, thinking, man this is weird comrade, flying people and people with blades inside their arms, who will the KGB invent next!? to which Ezio said...

EzioAuditoredf
08-10-2009, 08:46 PM
Huh?...

EmperorxZurg
08-10-2009, 08:50 PM
to which the KGB explained some nonsense about time parallel coupling and cloning universal thresholds, so Ezio just decided to shut em up and kill em all, then Altair cam in and said...

An_Idea
08-10-2009, 08:59 PM
duuuude, your cramping my style with all this killing. so Ezio....

EmperorxZurg
08-10-2009, 09:04 PM
said fine, let's kill TOGETHER! and they hiped hopped down the bunny trail looking for easter bunnies to kill, but then RoboSanta came and...

An_Idea
08-10-2009, 09:10 PM
was immediatly killed by frosty the snowassassin who stuck an icicle in robosantas neck. Ezio and Altair turned around in suprise only to find.....

EmperorxZurg
08-10-2009, 09:16 PM
a cute my little pony who turned into the My little APOCALYPTIC ponies!!! this one was War so Ezio decided to...

An_Idea
08-10-2009, 09:21 PM
chuck Altair in front of the bus so to speak and run for venice to get some better equipment to face the rider but altair was really pi$$ed about what ezio did to him so he decided to.....

EmperorxZurg
08-10-2009, 09:24 PM
get him cheese as a gift, but it had peanuts {he's allergic to them}, then...

An_Idea
08-10-2009, 09:34 PM
the rare nut allergy sub type gave Ezio malaria from eating the nutty cheese. he survived by jacking the protagonist of Far Cry's malaria meds. the Jackal/Altair (if you dont kno who the Jackal is) got really mad and decided to hunt Ezio down. but....

EmperorxZurg
08-10-2009, 09:38 PM
Ezio flew to the future and blended with the templars so when Alty came he had to fight the whole Abstergo and templars with their GUNS but Ezio had a change of heart and...

Xanatos2007
08-10-2009, 09:41 PM
...got Xemnas to do it. At first everyone thought he said 'Xanatos', so they decided to flee towards...

An_Idea
08-10-2009, 09:50 PM
the tower of babel. where they locked themselves up and started to enjoy life for once. except in Vatican City a certain person was......

UchihaKarasu
08-11-2009, 07:15 AM
...plotting to become an Assassin as well, that person was UchihaKarasu who...
(The Vatican is awesome http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif)

thekyle0
08-11-2009, 07:59 AM
...was also writing a fanfiction "children of none" and is killing me making me wait for the next chapter. Incidentally this is actually an assassination move she learned from...

giggleHyena
08-11-2009, 08:22 AM
that annoying beggar lady. In this special assasination move, UchihaKarasu kills her target by..

EzioAuditoredf
08-11-2009, 03:22 PM
starving them to death on fsnfiction, to which the peopel hiding in the tower gasped and started a huge avalanche of buildings that ended in Vatican City, cruchinhg Uchicha. As a result, Ezio and Altair started killing the approaching future Templars by usunig the new disarm feature on their guns, causing...

An_Idea
08-11-2009, 03:47 PM
ice cream to rain from the heavens and more and more people to use the username with "Ezio" in the title. altair got pi$$ed at all of these ezio usernames so he.........

thekyle0
08-11-2009, 03:57 PM
...made several accounts using his name. This made Ezio even more jealous than Altair was and he hijacked the next developer diary and gave it to us in order to create a fan craze of new accounts all with Ezio in their names. But to get the diary he had to...

RipYourSpineOut
08-11-2009, 05:11 PM
... Burst into The Chicago Fraternity and completely own everyone (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAd9hdteAeo), which resulted in...

Xanatos2007
08-11-2009, 11:52 PM
...him having to pay a lot of damages. So he shot the judge and ran to Jade for refuge, but...

daydark87
08-12-2009, 03:48 PM
...Lucy tackled him half-way there, asking him where he thinks he's going...

thekyle0
08-12-2009, 03:56 PM
...Yeah, that's why she tackled him. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/shady.gif

Then Ezio gets scared and runs to....

EzioAuditoredf
08-12-2009, 04:17 PM
the North Pole, but accidentally stumbles upon Jade's house, again, so...