View Full Version : Maxims for flight simmers

05-06-2005, 09:10 AM
A little while ago (possibly more than a century, but who's counting http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif) a erudite chap named Oscar Wilde serialised some "Maxims for the Overeducated". They were, and still are, amusing, witty and timely.

In a blatant and unskilled knock-off I have done the same for flight simmers; some serious, some strange and some sensible. None however are witty, funny or timely. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

Feel free to add your own perals of wisdom as you see fit

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Always, always, always check your six. A blind spot exists only because you allow it too.

Trust your mirrors, dont rely on them though.

Never shoot over the shoulder of someone else. Kills are not worth alienating a potential wingman.

If your wingman is on the 6 of a bad guy gain altitude and circle, keep his a$$ covered and dont get greedy

A good wingman is worth a squadron of no hopers.

Your wingman will die if you don't look after him. He will look after you in turn. If he doesn't, you are dead.

Think! Use your head. Work out the advantages your plane has and stick to them. If your in a turner, TURN, if you in a BOOMER, boom, if you in a biplane, PRAY.

Air Combat Manuvering is not as interesting as you think, the simplest moves are often the most effective.

The slow loop will always get you killed.

When you have to do it, and you will have to, the slow loop should always have a non vertical compontent to it. Add rudder or a horizontal twist to it.

That said, the slow loop will always get you killed.

When in doubt, gain altitude.

Learn about energy management; zoom and boom DOES NOT mean go straight down then straight up again.

The shallow dive IS your friend.

Likewise the shallow climb.

Things that are not your friend; the ground, the ocean, aircraft carriers, trees, houses, bridges, P-47 and 190 pilots that don't turn with you.

The 'best' plane does not exist. There are pilots who can handle their machines and those that can't. Period.

Pilots who know their machine top to bottom have the 'best' plane.

Luck does not exist. All shots that hit you are deliberate, all evasive manouvers that cause you to miss are likewise.

All shots are aimed directly for your head.

Head on passes are for those that no longer enjoy life.

Make your first burst count, you may not get a second; to this end, when you have the advantage of suprise, never make a shot you are not certain won't hit.

Never think 'they can't hit me from here', they CAN.

Never think 'they can't get me up here', they CAN.

Never think 'they haven't seen me' they HAVE.

500 kph in a dogfight is good life insurance.

Speed is money in the bank, dont waste it!

All tracers point both ways.

A stall means you have done something wrong. Very, very wrong.

Flying bombers is more fun than you think. Gettting shot down in them is much less fun than you think.

The there is a proportional relationship between the amount of ordanance you are carrying and the likelyhood of your being shot down.

All vulchers are compensating for something. They may be the ones responsible for a lot of the peni$ themed spam you recieve in your inbox as well.

All tactics are valid if the servers allow.

Team killers are a form of life lower than single celled organisms. So are shoulder shooters, gun vulchers, printscreeners, warpers, emergency diconnectors and those idiots who do takeoffs across the field .

If you take the perfect amount of fuel for a dogfight, it will run out.

Excess fuel is always excessive though.

You ammo always runs out when you have a perfect shot.

The guy on your six has unlimited ammo.

Places NOT to be: behind a bomber, in front of enemy fighters, at sea level, near trees, near houses, near an enemy airfield, under a bridge.

So, if you are flying under a bridge, chasing a bomber back to his base, at the nearest city, with a pair of fighters on your six, you may be in a spot of trouble.

A good landing is one you can walk away from. An average landing is one you can run screaming from, especially if you hair is on fire.

A bad landing invloves some or all of the following elements; some damage, some smoke, some fire, no gear, no alierons, no rudder, no elevators, no wings, NO HOPE, NO CHANCE, NO LANDING

You are not as good a shot as you think. Unfortunately the guy behind you is.

Aggressiveness is the halmark of a good sim pilot.

Agressiveness coupled with bad judgment is the halmark of a lawn dart.

EDIT; because i don't spell none too good.

05-06-2005, 09:29 AM
this should be on the box fo revery flight sim, and displayed when launching any game, co-op, DF, offline, oinline, whaterver, lol

05-06-2005, 09:45 AM
Liked it. I'll scuttle away and see if I can think of any more.

05-06-2005, 09:47 AM
Good stuff! But....

A blind spot exists only because you allow it too.

How do you know a blind spot exists if you can't see it? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

05-06-2005, 09:49 AM
Obviously because you can't see it. Otherwise you wouldn't be blind!

05-06-2005, 10:10 AM
Ctrl-E is your friend.

05-06-2005, 10:21 AM
How about:

"Treat your engine with respect, it's the only thing keeping you cool."

"The twirly thing goes at the front." (Until the Dornier).

"The only Spitfire you should be turning with is the one you're sat in."

"Aim for their engines. No one ever made ace in a glider."

"In trouble? Get inside a cloud."

"Beer is fun, but too much beer and 'gwar...carn't bwuddy fwyyyy stwait...'"

"Never fly in a straight line for more than thirty seconds in a combat zone."

"A little bit of rudder trim makes them think you're going somewhere else. If they think that so will their bullets."

05-06-2005, 10:26 AM
Nice guys, keep them coming!

05-06-2005, 11:54 AM
'If he shoots you down its because he's cheating, if you shoot him down its because you're an ace'


05-06-2005, 01:58 PM
Ugh! I thought they were giving out free subscriptions to people who play flight sims!

05-06-2005, 04:40 PM
I thought they were giving out free machine guns.

05-07-2005, 12:31 AM
"If you're in a fair fight...you planned wrong" http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif