PDA

View Full Version : Funniest moment in a campaign game



TankerAce
11-13-2005, 11:58 PM
I'd like to hear some of your guy's. I split my sides laughing at what just happened to me. I'm playing as a 2Lt. in the USMC campaign, right now it is June 5, 1942 during Midway. I already had 7 kills, and in the current mission just downed 2 more Zekes. Had 3 More Zekes on my tail, shooting up my plane. So I floor the engine, get just over Midway (by now the Ailerons are shot out), and I bail. From my parachute I watch as my Wildcat spirals to earth... and lands right on a parked Wildcat. OOPS!!!! I wonder if the Japanese guy that shot me down got double kills? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Kuna15
11-14-2005, 12:08 AM
One of the funniest moments for me is when FW-190 shot off my right wing in vertical climb I press CTRL+E bailed and FW-190 rammed my pilot http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif.

polak5
11-14-2005, 12:19 AM
I dont play pacific fighter campaign much but like on the 5th mission i had to Shot down some bettys I shot down 2 then i was out of ammo.There was stil 2 flying soo i lined up behind one. Soo.. I was feeling gutsy to i ran under him and took out a third betty with my rudder, his wing fell off . Then I flew back for a carefull landing http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/icon_twisted.gif

stansdds
11-14-2005, 04:01 AM
I heard this Pacific Fighters conversation between the AI ATC and an AI pilot just last week.

AI pilot: "This is two requesting permission to land."

ATC: "Negative, go around."

AI pilot: "This is two, dammit I'm coming in whether you like it or not!"

Breeze147
11-14-2005, 08:27 AM
Flying a Sturmo campaign, I was too shot up to make it all the way home. I had flown a good mission, taking out the primary with only two of our original flight left. I even evaded a couple of BF-109's in my shot up condition. I crossed friendly lines and started looking for a good place to bail. I decided to get out over a town, because I always get a kick out of watching myself run through buildings after I land. I was congratulating myself on a good mission when I hit a tree and got killed. I never saw that before.

jds1978
11-14-2005, 08:32 AM
One of the funniest moments for me is when FW-190 shot off my right wing in vertical climb I press CTRL+E bailed and FW-190 rammed my pilot .

that happened to me, but in reverse. i ran into the bailing pilot http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

FPSOLKOR
11-14-2005, 08:38 AM
Originally posted by TankerAce:
I'd like to hear some of your guy's. I split my sides laughing at what just happened to me. I'm playing as a 2Lt. in the USMC campaign, right now it is June 5, 1942 during Midway. I already had 7 kills, and in the current mission just downed 2 more Zekes. Had 3 More Zekes on my tail, shooting up my plane. So I floor the engine, get just over Midway (by now the Ailerons are shot out), and I bail. From my parachute I watch as my Wildcat spirals to earth... and lands right on a parked Wildcat. OOPS!!!! I wonder if the Japanese guy that shot me down got double kills? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif I used to fly away from main fight and circle around enemy carrier waiting for landing sucker... It takes 7-9 F4Us falling on to the flight deck to kill a carrier...

Platypus_1.JaVA
11-14-2005, 08:48 AM
It was not so funny, but worth mentioning. I was flying a rather difficult mission from the excellent AVG campaign. I had played the mission several times before and I finally managed to get back to base. I was approaching the runway and just before I touched down, Il-2 had a Crash To Desktop. I dropped my jaw and for a moment I wanted to kick my PC case. I restarted Il-2 and played the mission all over again and got all right in the end.

If someone likes the early P-40, you should download the AVG campaign (When tigers could fly) from netwings. It is really good

SkyCobra
11-14-2005, 09:56 AM
I was playing a DCG campaign in a Bf-109E. It was sunrise and after flying out from base and starting to fly a patrol at about 8000 ft, I see some enemy planes quite far away from me and below me. So I think to myself, wonderful, something to shoot down. So I proceed towards them but I maintain a height of about 8000 ft. When i'm above them, I decide to boom and zoom a U-2VS. I start my dive and as I pick up speed I begin to lose the enemy aircraft against the forest below as it is also dark. At this point I am going much too fast to pull up and suddenly the U-2VS is right in front of me. Too late for me to do anything, my bf-109 shoots right through the U-2VS's port upper and lower wing. I lose both my wings, get a dead pilot and a plane that is more like a rocket, heading straight for the ground. And the worst thing is, the pesky U-2VS manages to survive the collision!!!! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif When I watched the track at the end, I was amazed at what had happened. Its just a shame I no longer have the track http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/cry.gif

Windchilly
11-14-2005, 11:47 AM
I was flying a FB Bf109 Campaign - I had managed to survive about 20 missions when I was bombing a bridge (why me?)

I drop the bomb - there's a flash - and my ship explodes! I knew I wasn't too low (I've been caught by my own exploding bombs before...) I ran the track about 8 times before I figured it out - a freak direct hit from a near by AA Gun.

Now that I type it out - that wasn't funny at all! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

horseback
11-14-2005, 02:46 PM
This was quite a while back-I was flying a mission from the old Barbarossa campaign, early in the war. I was still flying a 109F-4, in winter, getting ready to take off for a fighter sweep when our base is attacked by at least a dozen Sturmoviks.

Now, this was back before Pacific Fighters, and may have been before AEP, and the original Il-2 DM was borderline unreal, especially from a dead 6, and of course, the gunners were bulletproof. Cannon and MG fire had next to no effect, unless you hit the tail just right. Needless to say, my ai wingmen and I were not enjoying much in the way of results using that method.

I had, however, long been aware of the classic method of dealing with these armored beasts, which was to target the oil cooler under the nose. A few well placed MG rounds of whatever caliber were all that it took to get the engine smoking, and in RL, a minute or two would be all it took for the engine to burst into flames. In the IL-2 world in this period, though, the aircraft would labor on for five minutes or so before the engine would seize up and the aircraft would crash.

After the initial melee over the field, I carefully followed the Sturmovik formation, miraculously dodging most of the gunners' fire, and set at least 10 of the Sturmos to smoking by pot-shotting each of their oil coolers in turn, and moving up the formation to the next victim, until I literally ran out of targets, and headed back to base, somewhat shot up (not all the gunners had missed entirely), nursing a smoking and grinding engine for the ten minute or so flight back to base.

Instead of the expected string of on-screen announcements of enemy aircraft destroyed, I heard "This is Number 3. He's going down!" eleven freaking times!

I landed & exited the mission, to see one stinking kill credited to me (I de-winged one over the base), so I hit the Record Track button in order to see what the hell happened.

Good ol' Number 3 had trailed me (and let me act as a bullet sponge for the rear gunners) by a couple hundred meters while I worked my way through the formation and had put a burst into each aircraft that I had started smoking after I had moved on, thereby 'stealing' each of my expected victories.

Naturally, I hit the Refly button and shot Number 3 down first on that mission and every mission thereafter in that campaign.

cheers

horseback

Kuna15
11-14-2005, 03:05 PM
Originally posted by Windchilly:
I was flying a FB Bf109 Campaign - I had managed to survive about 20 missions when I was bombing a bridge (why me?)

I drop the bomb - there's a flash - and my ship explodes! I knew I wasn't too low (I've been caught by my own exploding bombs before...) I ran the track about 8 times before I figured it out - a freak direct hit from a near by AA Gun.

Now that I type it out - that wasn't funny at all! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

By far most annoying and at the same most funny kills are with bombs/ground cannons-tanks.

Some players intentionally fly low alt and set delay to 1,5-2sec. and when enemy fighter closes on about 400-450m they release bomb and they can easily destroy pursuing aircraft that way.

Best thing is you never knew what happened. Just insta black screen and us with the expression on our faces http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif.

DIRTY-MAC
11-14-2005, 03:47 PM
Originally posted by Kuna15:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Windchilly:
I was flying a FB Bf109 Campaign - I had managed to survive about 20 missions when I was bombing a bridge (why me?)

I drop the bomb - there's a flash - and my ship explodes! I knew I wasn't too low (I've been caught by my own exploding bombs before...) I ran the track about 8 times before I figured it out - a freak direct hit from a near by AA Gun.

Now that I type it out - that wasn't funny at all! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

By far most annoying and at the same most funny kills are with bombs/ground cannons-tanks.

Some players intentionally fly low alt and set delay to 1,5-2sec. and when enemy fighter closes on about 400-450m they release bomb and they can easily destroy pursuing aircraft that way.

Best thing is you never knew what happened. Just insta black screen and us with the expression on our faces http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

he he my favourite trick
there is alway someone who falls for it

polak5
11-14-2005, 04:19 PM
Originally posted by DIRTY-MAC:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Kuna15:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Windchilly:
I was flying a FB Bf109 Campaign - I had managed to survive about 20 missions when I was bombing a bridge (why me?)

I drop the bomb - there's a flash - and my ship explodes! I knew I wasn't too low (I've been caught by my own exploding bombs before...) I ran the track about 8 times before I figured it out - a freak direct hit from a near by AA Gun.

Now that I type it out - that wasn't funny at all! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

By far most annoying and at the same most funny kills are with bombs/ground cannons-tanks.

Some players intentionally fly low alt and set delay to 1,5-2sec. and when enemy fighter closes on about 400-450m they release bomb and they can easily destroy pursuing aircraft that way.

Best thing is you never knew what happened. Just insta black screen and us with the expression on our faces http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

he he my favourite trick
there is alway someone who falls for it </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

HAH i luv it when people fall for that old trick... nice to know im not the only one doing it http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

jds1978
11-14-2005, 05:46 PM
i was playing the DGC Iwo Jima campaign for the USMC.

my squadron of F4U's were tasked with providing CAP for SBD's whose job it was to hit the airfield on Iwo.

in these situation's, i'll usually arm my squadron with HVARs to help supress local AA thereby making life easier for the bombers.

once over the target, i noticed that the airstrip was loaded end to end with IJA AC.
thinking "WTF?" i let loose w/ an entire volley of HVARs at the front two IJA fighters fireballing both of them. several seconds later, the SBDs lit up the airfield w/ 500 lb bombs.

after the mission i replayed the track and found out that we totally creamed that airstrip and about 70% of the AC on it. the funny part was when the surviving IJA AC insisted on -um-"taking off" from said airfield...which meant having to (one at a time and very methodically) plow over the burning remains of their comrades. of course, this resulted in their total destruction as they piled on each other in a style not unlike those car chases in "The Blues Brothers"

3.JG51_BigBear
11-14-2005, 07:07 PM
Right after it was released I was playing D-Humphrey's VMF214 campaign. I'd only recently started flying the Corsair and was having fits in only the second mission trying to land aboard a carrier with two 500lbs bombs. I had to have gone around at least ten times and I was getting worried about my fuel situation because there was still more of the mission to go and I wasn't really sure how far I was going to have to fly. Anyway I finally hook the third wire. My palms are sweaty and I hate to admit it but I could tell my heart was beating a little faster. Anyway, I'm really excited about finally landing this thing and as I go to engage the chocks so I can run the engine up to takeoff my hand slips and I toggle my bomb release. Two five hundred pounders hit the deck and that was the end of me.

ronison
11-14-2005, 08:16 PM
I was flying a F4F campain and went up against a few Vals. Uppon lineing up behind and slightly below the lead one I pulled up and unloaded on him. My closer was a bit faster than I normaly do and so decided to break off my attack when the darn thing blew up. The explosion not only took him out but also turned my screen to black.

Not really knowing that I had killed him, the black screen happened faster than the explosion registered, I decided to take a peek outside the F4F which of course was no longer there. But to the side of the incredible explosion of my plane and the original Val was a bluming effect of the other two Val's falling one to each side in a nice firey death.

One exploding Val + F4F = 3 Val's and 1 F4F

If only I could have got credit for all three of them.

Slater_51st
11-14-2005, 09:37 PM
So, I was about 10-15 missions into a stock 109F4 campaign. I was tail end charlie of 8 109s, with 8 190s behind us.

So, all sudden air raid sirens go off! Yipes! I look up and there are 4 Yaks circling the field. Not wanting to die on the ground, I "cheat" and roar over to the taxiway to take off(narrowly avoiding the control tower as I grab some air). I close in on a lone Yak, and in full view of the ground crews cheering me on, I tear off a wing. I look down as he falls earthward. Sure enough, he slams into the ground right next to the #5 and 6 Fw-190s, blowing them up, and effectively cutting off the other 2 190s from taking off. So, while farting around waiting for more bad guys to show up, the airborn 190s absolutely whip past me and just about make me soil my pants. Within a few minutes I was in a scrap again, this time with 4 or more Hurricanes. Downed 2, and then got seperated, start heading back towards base, and notice the flak guys are after someone. I zoom down and notice a single, solitary, lost, helpless I-153. Smiling to myself at my good luck and soon to be 4 victory mission, I dive on the helpless bugger, get in nice and tight on his six and.....the world erupts into gunfire all around me. My plane is hit a few times, engine starts sounding funny.

Now, I assume I got wacked by friendly flak(has happened before). So I roll down and out of it. Look back to see 2 of those darned Focke Wulfs tearing up the I-153. Utterly put out that a great mission was practically spoiled by the 190s, I roll down and line up for a landing on the taxiway I took off from(runway was still fouled from the remains of the 190s). I ended up crunching my gear. Wasn't til I watched the track that I thought maybe, JUST maybe, the 190s were out for revenge for smashing up their buddies....

Another time, also durring an airaid, I fired up my engine, roared down the runway. At 200+ KPH and over half way down the runway, I realize, I don't have any elevator control! I'm totally in trouble! So, I died. I found out my joystick was messed up because I spilled coke on my Sidewinder Prescision Pro 2. Still works, just occasionally tweaks out.....

Sadly, I lost this campaign at 29 missions, 22 air victories, and like 9 ground victories because of a technical error *sigh*

Still, was pretty darned fun!

S! Slater

actionhank1786
11-15-2005, 01:39 AM
I love this thread.
I'm trying to think of my funniest moment.
I'd have to say it may be one time, i was flying a quick mission, me and my SBDs vs. the Japanese carrier, i'm diving on the ship, and i see a zero trying to take off, i drop bombs, and the bombs hit right on 3 zeros, but one still gets off the deck. Well naturally, i'm going quite fast, and i'm getting low, so i pull out of my dive, and low and behold a zero is right in front of me, struggling to get some airspeed and some altitude.
So i hit my gunsite view, and start firing, i get lucky and blow up a wing-tank, and shear off a wing. The zero plummits down all 10 feet to the ocean below, and is hit by his carrier trying to bail out.
Then on the way back to the home carrier, i tell the boys to line up on my wing. I start my carrier approach and get low and hear 1-3 "i'm bailing out!/I'm hit!/etc." And look back to see all 3 have followed me down in formation, and hit the waves below.
Poor suckers, but i guess they meant it when they said they'd follow me through hell and high water

Sturm_Williger
11-15-2005, 07:16 AM
Well, I was flying a 109 ( I think it was a G6 ) and I'm bored bored bored - loooong flight to target .... and nothing showed up. I'm stooging around at about 4000m when suddenly I see some enemy a/c coming towards me at about 2500m. As I drop down, I see it's 3 Yaks in echelon. I come down about 600m away and closing nicely - unusually for AI, they don't seem to magically know I'm there.

So I close to 200m and let #3 have it. Bits fly and I see the cockpit fly off, so I leave him be. #1 & #2 still appear unperturbed, so I slide into position behind #2 and open up. He gets the idea instantly and breaks left. Our speeds are pretty well matched by now, so I follow him, blazing away. Roughly half my shots miss due to his manoeuvre, passing underneath him ... and whaling on #1. Both go down.

3 kills in 1 pass http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

nakamura_kenji
11-15-2005, 07:39 AM
once dive bomb avenger torpedo bomber in D3A ^_^

jds1978
11-15-2005, 07:48 AM
once dive bomb avenger torpedo bomber in D3A ^_^
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

BaronUnderpants
11-15-2005, 09:20 AM
Funny thing that happend on a online DF server, flew F4F against jap ac and did well for a while until i got a pair of Zekes on my tail and had my elevators and ailerons shot away.
Had no choise but to bail, as soon as i did the Zekes broke of and flew for home.
As i was soaring down in my shute i wached my
plane sircle arround me diving slightly towards the ground....just to slowly start climbing
sec.before crasching, it kept doing this
well over a minute after i safely tuched ground in my shute. It gracefully ended the display by making a perfect crasch landing a couple of km from me http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

Wish it would fly this good without controles while im on board http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Vuco1
11-15-2005, 01:17 PM
Playing early Luftwaffe campaign I was in a Bf109 (F2 or F4 I don't remember correctly anymore) and chasing i16; I came relatively slow on his 6 and just as I was going to shoot he enters a steep dive. Before I even started to follow him a MG 151 round comes dead straight into my cockpit destroys my aiming site and heavily wounds my pilot, how? - wingman of mine approached the i16 frontally but the Russian successfully evaded his shot which ended in my pilot.
Friendly fire LOL!

Another one:

Playing the Hell Hawks campaign I came under attack from wilblewind, so to get rid his announce, I dropped my two 500 lbs bombs on him. Bombs were set on 3 second delay so they bounced twice and stopped just by his left and right sides. It was quite funny to him destroyed by two close simultaneous explosions.

These are not from PF campaigns, but still you might find them funny.

Worf101
11-15-2005, 02:13 PM
Naturally, I hit the Refly button and shot Number 3 down first on that mission and every mission thereafter in that campaign.

cheers

horseback

That is just too d**n funny for words. May all vulching A.I. burn in virtual hell.

99th Worf101

dbillo
11-15-2005, 02:36 PM
At a recent LAN party with my brother and brother-in-law, I'm on the runway in front of my brother. We're in taildraggers, natch. He is distracted, giving some advice to our brother-in-law on how to take off, and I'm waiting until we are all ready. My brother goes back to his seat, and pours on the cobs to take-off, then says "Dave, are you in front of me?" Instantly, I realize what is happening and firewall the throttle , but it's too late! BOOM! He plows into me and we both explode!

O.K. not in a campaign, and not that funny.

mortoma
11-16-2005, 06:01 PM
I was flying over some island as a Japanese
dive bomber pilot. I got jumped by a bunch of Wildcats just as I was about to start my dive
onto their airbase. But I had to evade the
fighters so I broke off my attack to start
jinking/manuevering out of their tracers.
I also decided just to drop my bomb because
I was taking hits and was getting desperate.
Well, just by sheer luck my totally unaimed
bomb took out four ( count 'em, four ) enemy
AAA guns!!! I have never done that well even when I aimed my bomb/s and tried to hit targets!!!!! It was a real hoot for sure, plus
I was able to make it back to the carrier!!

jds1978
11-17-2005, 04:32 PM
Funny thing that happend on a online DF server, flew F4F against jap ac and did well for a while until i got a pair of Zekes on my tail and had my elevators and ailerons shot away.
Had no choise but to bail, as soon as i did the Zekes broke of and flew for home.
As i was soaring down in my shute i wached my
plane sircle arround me diving slightly towards the ground....just to slowly start climbing
sec.before crasching, it kept doing this
well over a minute after i safely tuched ground in my shute. It gracefully ended the display by making a perfect crasch landing a couple of km from me

Wish it would fly this good without controles while im on board

once i sat and watched my burning P40 do perfect 360's for at least 5 minutes...surreal

Billy_DeLyon
11-17-2005, 09:16 PM
Originally posted by jds1978:
once i sat and watched my burning P40 do perfect 360's for at least 5 minutes...surreal

I had a similar experience in a La on the Crimea map, where after I bailed out of the plane with no elevators it cruised along 5-10 feet above the curving shoreline, then out to sea, then back along the beach again, and back out to sea, in slowly widening circles... until after five or six laps it perfectly kamikaze'd one of the AAA ships sitting off-shore!

Hannibal_817
11-19-2005, 06:34 AM
I was flying a quick mission maker. Flying P-38. took down a zero. Decided to land on HIS airfield. Came in for a perfect landing. Was drifting along the runway and decided park in a D-pen or whatever their called. When I got there I noticed that all the pens were full of parked Zeros. Not enough room to swivel round and go to the hangers. I decided to see if I could push the Zero out of the way. I was going the slowest possible speed. About 5kmp. Our noses touch and BOOM!!! bye-bye P-38. but the Zero is still unharmed!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

sorry not in a campaign

Opie-won
11-20-2005, 11:06 AM
Was flying a Beaufighter against several Betty's on AI and was just tearing them up. I make a pass on #3 and break off a little too close. I notice that I have the old "engine inoperable" on the screen. I look to the side expecting to see a smoking engine,and much to my surprise I see no engine at all. Torn it off completely. I was really shocked that the wing didn't break there and that I was able to maintain control and get it home to a mostly safe landing.

han freak solo
11-20-2005, 01:24 PM
Here's one.

http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/23110283/m...621074873#6621074873 (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/23110283/m/6271073743/r/6621074873#6621074873)

Rammjaeger
02-15-2006, 12:28 PM
Funny orders received in both FB and PF:

- the beginning of Il-2 campaign:

http://img366.imageshack.us/img366/6894/contradiction5qt.th.jpg (http://img366.imageshack.us/my.php?image=contradiction5qt.jpg)

- USAAF campaign, New Guiena, 1942. When attacking a Betty from below a single hit from tail gunner disables the engine. Betty gets ignited and eventually crashes, I glide back to friendly territory and decide to land near a village. Forgot to switch flaps to 'raised' from 'landing' in time so my nose hits the ground. This is the order I receive:

http://img366.imageshack.us/img366/8513/viccesparancs2wx.th.jpg (http://img366.imageshack.us/my.php?image=viccesparancs2wx.jpg)

Trying to carry it out would be interesting.

- VVS fighter campaign 1942, same aircraft type. Me-110 gunner disables the engine, I land on a village road and make the same mistake as the one mentioned above. I actually tumbled the aircraft as a result and remained unharmed:

http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/6770/bukfenc16jw.th.jpg (http://img62.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bukfenc16jw.jpg)
http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/5442/bukfenc21gj.th.jpg (http://img62.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bukfenc21gj.jpg)
http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/2573/bukfenc30pe.th.jpg (http://img62.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bukfenc30pe.jpg)

In a different mission in the same campaign I was shooting up the 3rd Finnish Blenheim in a row, decided to pass underneath the killed bomber. The crew was bailing out, one of the guys fell directly on the engine and the P-40 blew up.

Max.Power
02-15-2006, 01:19 PM
This isn't so much funny as it is stupid. I once played a german early-ish war campaign. I had many sorties and many kills under my belt, and I was steadily climbing the hierarchy. On my final mission, we were ordered to intercept a flight of Russian DC-3's beyond the maximum range of the Messerschmidt. We'd get there, see them, and before we were able to engage, we'd run out of fuel.

Damn ****.

That's just poor planning.

WWSensei
02-15-2006, 01:45 PM
Online mission, one of my squadmates takes some flak hits. A transcript follows. I am Blue 2.

"Blue 2, Blue 1"
"Go 1"
"2, took some minor flak can you look me over and tell me if I have any major damage?"
"Rgr 1, closing, checking..."

(insert crunching sound and loud bang as my wing clips his elevator, tears it off and my subsequent yank away also rips off his wing. Of course, I have no damage.)

"!@#$@!^^*" <-- incorhent cursing on TS. I assume it's Blue 1.
"Blue 1, Blue 2"
"Go 2" <--- in a very frustrated, angry voice.
"1, you appear to have a bent wing."
"Gee, thanks for that info 2....you bastige."

Gold_Monkey
02-15-2006, 03:31 PM
I was hosting an IP game for a little one on one with a squad mate. After about 15 min trying to find each other I spotted him coming around on my six, I did a right dive then pulled up into the sun hoping to lose him, then BOOM I was outside the plane looking at a big fireball and pieces flying all over the place. We started laughing like crazy and I asked WTF did you do? He tried to answer while we were still laughing our asses off. He had loaded rockets onto his Corsair and never told me. Try it some time in a dogfight. It's hard to hit another aircraft but he led me perfectly.

Treetop64
02-15-2006, 03:45 PM
Originally posted by stansdds:
I heard this Pacific Fighters conversation between the AI ATC and an AI pilot just last week.

AI pilot: "This is two requesting permission to land."

ATC: "Negative, go around."

AI pilot: "This is two, dammit I'm coming in whether you like it or not!"

LOL! I saw that happen for the first time last night!

Scharnhorst1943
02-15-2006, 10:54 PM
I only do offline campaigns, but I still get moments.

I was in the pacific, flying for the good ol' USN. It is a scramble mission. I take off in my F4F Wildcat and imediatly get into a sea level dogfight with zeros, vals and kates. The Japanese sunk one of my carriers. I take some damage, but stay in the fight. Because of the fragility of Zeros, I had a pretty high kill count. I think it was up to 8 or 10! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

So I run out of ammo, but I have a zeke on my tail which I cannot shake. I am making a desperate move for my carrier. I lower my gear, lower my flaps and hook, and by this time I have a second zero. I am in my landing run as the carrier AA opens up on the trailing zero. Blasts him out of the sky. I land on the ship, being hit by the second zero just as the ships AA shoots down the second zeke. I was awarded a medal and promoted in rank. Best mission I have ever flown.

I'll tell ya, landing with a zeke on your tail will make your butt pucker http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_redface.gif

pogobbler
02-16-2006, 12:34 AM
It wasn't a campaign game, but I had a rather painful yet amusing situation happen today. I'm just getting used to the game playing some offline missions. I was flying a Corsair against a flight of four Japanese planes (I don't recall what sort, right offhand) and decided what the hell, I'd take a shot head on before they passed to see if I could even the odds a bit. I let loose at the leader as he got into range and got a good hit on him, with some smoke and flame... as he passed, though, we were a bit too close and his wing sliced my right wing off right where the bend in it is. I was toast, of course, but at least he got his wing sheared off, too. Within the next split second, as I'm beginning to tumble out of control, one of the others in the pack slices my left wing off at the exact same place with his wing, again, taking his wing off in the process. I was just glad that I was recording it... it was great fun to watch over a few times. I did bail out and land safely, at least. Thank god for small favors.

SnailRunner
02-16-2006, 05:05 AM
not a funny story like funny wise, but a fun tactic that worked 4 missions in a storyline online campaign...

When FB jus came out we had to fight the TB3`s with E7B`s and F2`s, and we had major problems cause of black windshields all the time...one day i got fed up with it...and asked for a JU-87 instead of a fighter....when the TB3`s finaly cam i took of killed the gunners and parked my landing gear right into the cocpit...did this in the folowing 3 missions...then the allied side decided to complain about it, and i had to stop....

Have one more.....early in the above campaign i had the plesure flying the early hurricane...after one mission where i unloaded my entire ammo into a TB3...the host came on our coms and said that there was a Tb3 still flying but he would kill mission.....when he postet mission news with track pictures i could se the TB3 i have engaged flying of map with entire dead crew, plane was fine bu no one alive on it, it had done that for 1 hour after i shot at it and it was still flying when mission ended lol

zuiho
02-16-2006, 05:28 AM
It doesn' t happen in a campaign, but in a quick mission...
My computer was KO for 2 monts, so when it 'returned' 2 weeks ago, I reistalled PF and, to see if I had a lot of my old 'hot hand', I decided to fly my favourite mount, the A6M2, against a sitting duck as the DC-3.I start a frontal pass, squeeze my trigger... a perfect shot! His right engine and his cockpit disintegrated under my 20 mm but, in a very surreal fashion, the beheaded airplane continued to fly and turned toward his base! But it' s not the end: astonished, I turned towards him and I started to shot with my 7,7 from long distance to see if it' s also capable of evasive manouvers and, in the exact istant in wich my first bulletts arrived, the DC-3 remembered that he' s beheaded and spun out of controls in the sea.

So I have the best of my track! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Philipscdrw
02-16-2006, 06:01 AM
An Il-2 campaign - I was attacking a train. Fired at it with machine-guns, taking out the AA-wagon and the first vehicle behind it, pulled up and passed close over the top of the train. Then there's that 'Chonk' noise and the screen goes black, followed by my aircraft flying into the floor... I review the track - it turns out that oil trains will explode very powerfully...

djetz
02-16-2006, 06:29 AM
I've had a few of those experiences.

I shot up a 109 while I was in a Mig, and I was watching it from below, when the pilot bailed. He fell right at me and I heard that "clunk" sound and suddenly my Mig was a lot less stable.

Took a look from outside, and the impact with the falling pilot had ripped off my port stabiliser. It was actually not funny, it was creepy. Made me wonder how often that might have happened in real life. Still I managed to land OK.

Another time, I was doing my usual thing and shooting up into the belly of a Stuka, when it did the usual thing and released its bomb for a quick getaway. I dived to pick up speed, and flew right into the bomb. Watching the track in slow motion, the bomb hit me right in the cockpit and my plane disintegrated. The funny thing was, the Stuka had climbed enough so that it survived the explosion. I wonder if he got credited with an air-to-air kill?

Sturm_Williger
02-16-2006, 06:35 AM
I think I read of a B17 crewman without a chute falling onto ( and into ) another B17 http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

I'm not sure how true that is - might have been one of those "embellished" stories. Pretty hectic though.

elphifou
02-16-2006, 07:41 AM
I was playing the USMC Campaign in one of the Wake Island missions, flying an F4-F. At the end of the combat, my mates are returning home and since I had some spare ammo, I decide to scan the surroundings for any remaining Japanese fighter.
Straying away somewhat, I spot one in the far distance and so I set out to chase him, thinking "surely, he must be heading home out of ammo"...
At some point I realize I'm coming really fast on him, so I slow down but still too fast... slow down again and again, and still much too fast. I'm thinking WTH as I'm just about to get past him and almost uncontrollably fire to try to shoot him down and get over with this mission...

That's when, after using external view and slowly flying around for a short while, I realize the damn AI is up there, perfectly still and hanging in the air like stupid !!

U bet I was coming up too fast ! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif
some kinda bug, I guess...

If I'd known of this thread before, I would've saved the track. Too bad. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

LtSpit
02-16-2006, 11:02 AM
I was flying with Bf-109. Very funny!!! Enjoy http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZBXPWqiD90

Rammjaeger
02-16-2006, 03:32 PM
Theoretically isn't it possible to restabilize your plane and at least glide to a safe landing if both wings are clipped down to the same length?

slo_one23
02-16-2006, 04:37 PM
i blew up 4 c-47's when i set one all on fire and it blew up taking the rest of its flight(and part of my tail ) with it http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/agreepost.gif

Akronnick
02-16-2006, 08:39 PM
Last night I was in an 8v8 quick mission. I was flying P-51B and Jerry was in FW-190A-6.

After I pumped Jerry full of .50 holes, he breaks high and left an out of control, he spins back at me.

CRUNCH!!!

Red Two: One, Get out, Hit the silk!

Now, usually when that happens, the next thing I see is either the world spinning, Smoke and flames, or simply a black screen. Last night however, I found myself still flying! Aquick check to external view revealed that all I had lost was one side of my horizontal stabilazer.

I flew all the way to my airbase, but wasn't able to land without the gear collapsing. but you know what they say, any landing you can walk away from...

Wolkenbeisser
02-17-2006, 06:22 AM
I was flying a mission on a LAN with five friends. We had to hunt ships with our F-4U-1D's armed with rockets. On the way home my wingman Orville lost our formation and asked for the heading to the carrier. I told him to fly heading 20. He (not much used to compasses) turned around until he could see the number 20 on his compass (which means heading 200!) and flew in the opposite direction. After a while he recognized, that there is something wrong and he returned to the little islands, where the targets were. After telling me what he's doing, I decided to pick him up at the islands and left formation too.

After a while we found each other and headed towards the carrier. We already saw the carrier, as Orville ran out of fuel and had to ditch his plane. I began to sweat, because my fuel gauge showed 0 when I was in final. And I was in a bad situation - only little faster than stall speed and very low. If fuel goes empty now, I havo NO chance. Neither to bail, neither to land ('cause no speed-reserve). So I sent a short prayer to heaven (please, let me catch that wire!). My hook caught the wire and... before the tailwheel hit the deck the engine died!

The best is: I saved the whole *.ntrk! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

After that mission I had to stand up, leave the puter and look for a towel...

What a great sim!

Wolkenbeisser
02-17-2006, 08:16 AM
Originally posted by LtSpit:
I was flying with Bf-109. Very funny!!! Enjoy http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZBXPWqiD90

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif you would never be able to do such things intentionally...

FPSOLKOR
02-17-2006, 10:21 AM
No bullets fired, 9 kills! Droped a bomb on a lex, and just half a second befour impact 9 planes appeared on deck... That drove me into stupor for an hour. Trying to repeat, no luck so far...

Punkfriday
02-17-2006, 03:28 PM
I was flying B25s to blow up 3 bridges and got jumped by 109s just as we were on our first pass. we got 2 of the bridges, and i made a 2nd pass with my last bomb and missed! eek! so then the 109s by then have downed my wingmen, and i was trying to get a fix with my .50cals when my wing separated from the rest of the aircraft. i preceeded to bail out, and i watched from the silk as my falling plane smashed right into the last bridge and BOOM it went. oh, what a day!

Punkfriday
02-17-2006, 03:58 PM
another one.

i was in a p38 going head on with a flight of 190s. on the first pass we both fired at point blank and tried to break at the last minute. he was so close, he sheared my starboard engine clean off, while leaving the boom and wing intact. the darnedest thing i've ever seen in the game. being hindered, i watched him crash then i immediately turned back for my airfield. the rest of my plane was fine.
i wonder if i still have that track...

Rammjaeger
06-09-2006, 02:02 AM
Originally posted by Rammjaeger:
Theoretically isn't it possible to restabilize your plane and at least glide to a safe landing if both wings are clipped down to the same length?

I doubt it. The clipped wings won't generate sufficient lift for the aircraft even if they are of the same length. Even gliding is impossible.

SeaFireLIV
06-09-2006, 05:14 AM
Hmmm, not sure if funny, but made me chuckle.

Flying over Stalingrad only yesterday and I in my LA5 came across one solitary Ar50 Italian plane. I was on his six, then he looped and was on mine, then I ran and looped over onto his 6. Finally after 5 minutes of this I finally had him in front of me, but he kept twisting and turning. I couldn`t even fire. Suddenly, he broke up slightly and left - I saw a collision coming! I pulled up hard, there was a crunch from underneath my fuselage as I broke off to the left....

I looked right to see the AR 50 falling to earth right wing separate from the body. I checked my plane, expecting all kinds of problems, but nothing. LoL. Actually got a kill and survived without firing a shot! A very rare occurence.

Another one was where I shot up an He111, but failed to down it and I returned to base. Once parked I used external to view the He111 that was now landing. One engine was shot out, but his other engine was ok... apparently. He landed, but didn`t slow down, he just kept going, off the runway, out into the field and into a tree half a mile away! A runaway engine. That made me laff! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Asgeir_Strips
06-09-2006, 10:45 AM
During an online game, for some variety i chose to fly a B25 Bomber (with machineguns in its nose) after i bombed the enemy (japanese) airfield and strafed it i decided to head for home (over ocean, i think it was the coral sea/islands map) then suddenly 4 zeroes decided to bounce me, Firstly i let the sniper gunners dispose two of them, while doing barrel rolls and such in very low altitude (to prevent attack from below) then i changed to the tailgunner, flaming another zero. during the course of action i took quite a beating and the right engine was still smoking, but the mitchell was still hanging in there. Then the last zero pilot decided to attack me head on, not a good desicion, as he approached head on with guns blazing, he didn't realize that i was not empty of gun rounds, so i hosed 'im and he went past me flaming and crashed into the sea. when i overflew home plate i did 4 victory rolls and landed, and at the exact moment when i landed, the right engine seized.

a pretty fun online session for me at least
:lol:

Asgeir_Strips
06-09-2006, 10:48 AM
also after running out of ammo in my P40 in a USAAF new guinea campaign, (offline) i lowered my landing gear, and promptly placed my self on top of the trailing betty's wing, then i gave my joystick a little push, the gear touched its wing and it came off. i did that with two other betties (it was a scramble mission.

WWSensei
06-09-2006, 02:15 PM
DCG Ardennes 1944 campaign. P-38s. We get orders to attack a convoy. We get there and I make the first run taking out the AAA tank. I cricle around padlock the targets and order my 2nd and 3rd elements to attack. I *thought* they were loitering at the last waypoint.

Just as I dive in to make a strafe run I hear:

"This is 2, roger, attacking now, bombs away."
"This is 3, roger, attacking now, bombs away."
"This is 4, roger, attacking now, bombs away."

and I see shadows pass over me. The resulting explosions removed my right engine totally, made some big holes in the wings, got the left engine smoking and took off the right stabilizer and elevators were torn off.

Then my wingie says, "One, bail out bail out!"

Bastards.

lowfighter
06-09-2006, 02:18 PM
when my leader goes head on, shoots the other devil which explodes and bring my leader with him in hell. I'm fighting with the remaining enamy, I'm on his tail I come closer and closer, I pull the trigger, boom, we go together to hell...

nte70
06-09-2006, 07:06 PM
Originally posted by polak5:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by DIRTY-MAC:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Kuna15:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Windchilly:
I was flying a FB Bf109 Campaign - I had managed to survive about 20 missions when I was bombing a bridge (why me?)

I drop the bomb - there's a flash - and my ship explodes! I knew I wasn't too low (I've been caught by my own exploding bombs before...) I ran the track about 8 times before I figured it out - a freak direct hit from a near by AA Gun.

Now that I type it out - that wasn't funny at all! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

By far most annoying and at the same most funny kills are with bombs/ground cannons-tanks.

Some players intentionally fly low alt and set delay to 1,5-2sec. and when enemy fighter closes on about 400-450m they release bomb and they can easily destroy pursuing aircraft that way.

Best thing is you never knew what happened. Just insta black screen and us with the expression on our faces http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

he he my favourite trick
there is alway someone who falls for it </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

HAH i luv it when people fall for that old trick... nice to know im not the only one doing it http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
happened to me in a pf campain http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif
nobody told me kamkazis would drop their load to fight http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif