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XyZspineZyX
10-16-2003, 04:36 AM
The rules - as seen in their proper perspective.

You always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.



1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.


1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.



1. If you won't dress like Charlie's Angels, don't expect us react like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.



1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.


1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.


1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, drinking, or cars and motorbikes.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the sofa tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.


Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education!!

XyZspineZyX
10-16-2003, 04:36 AM
The rules - as seen in their proper perspective.

You always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.



1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.


1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.



1. If you won't dress like Charlie's Angels, don't expect us react like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.



1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.


1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.


1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, drinking, or cars and motorbikes.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the sofa tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.


Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education!!

XyZspineZyX
10-16-2003, 05:22 AM
Thank you. I've printed a couple copies and taped them to mirrors so she can read and learn a little something about her man. What you said makes perfect sense to me. S!

XyZspineZyX
10-16-2003, 05:25 AM
I guess you're not married-and don't want to get laid.

rogo

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Message Edited on 10/15/0309:26PM by Rogodin

XyZspineZyX
10-16-2003, 05:39 AM
Exactly what does this have to do with IL2? Maybe you should post to the 'im-a-bitter-guy-who-cant-get-any' alias.

Dennis

XyZspineZyX
10-16-2003, 05:41 AM
Rogodin wrote:
- I guess you're not married-and don't want to get
- laid.
-
- rogo

What rogo said /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif



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XyZspineZyX
10-16-2003, 05:53 AM
-- What rogo said

I don't think it's quite fair to condemn the rules because of a single slip up. Anyway don't work in an office with a woman Boss cos if you leave the seat up you will be fired.

XyZspineZyX
10-16-2003, 06:39 AM
gpang788 , Not a truer set of words said. Especially with the ambiguity bit! My sentiments exactly! (And I`ve been married- they`re all the same). Can`t live with `em - can`t live without- blah! blah! blah!etc! /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

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(Spitfire & Escape Whiner Member).

XyZspineZyX
10-16-2003, 06:49 AM
I'm from Sweden and me and my woman have been together for 10 years and everything gpang788 said applies.

U guys above disagreeing are the ones who haven't manage to have a long relationship as these things only show after some time.

I've copied it and sent it to my fiancée cause it would be nice with some camping. /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-surprised.gif

____________________

Vengeanze

XyZspineZyX
10-16-2003, 08:13 AM
Why are they all #1? Are they all of equal importance?

I'd never join a club that would have ME as a member!!.

XyZspineZyX
10-16-2003, 08:50 AM
ELEM wrote:
- Why are they all #1? Are they all of equal
- importance?

Oh my god. That is sooo typical male to ask a question like that.
Maybe he's ashamed of that. Maybe he can't type other digits than 1's. But u just had to point it out to him, didn't you.
U insensitive brut!
/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

____________________

Vengeanze

XyZspineZyX
10-16-2003, 09:26 AM
v

Message Edited on 10/16/0301:50AM by tenmmike

Tully__
10-16-2003, 10:43 AM
Very funny but off topic. Try the unofficial off topic forum link at the top of the forum (nice bright yellow /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif ) for this sort of stuff.

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Tully