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View Full Version : Things you always wanted to know about WWII (but were afraid to ask)



georgeo76
11-20-2004, 11:06 AM
In early '41 it was clear that the UK and USSR had Germany and Japan under control. The US was only allowed to participate because the European Allies knew they were the only ones who could document the war w/ quality Hollywood movies.

The La7 was a propaganda hoax. They were actually captured P11 frames covered w/ delta wood veneer for the purpose of air shows. The Germans went along w/ the sham so they could cry n00b!!! when they got shot down.

While German engineers during WWII were famous for their work, German Factory workers were notoriously inept. The DB engine was not and inverted V, it was simply installed upside down. Much of the early success of Operation Barbarossa was due to soviet confusion over 109s that preformed best when inverted.

The UK was on the verge of attacking Germany in early '38. It was only after Hitler blackmailed Chamberland w/ indisputable evidence that Shakespeare was actually a Frenchman did they back off.

The attack on Pearl Harbor was a big misunderstanding. It seems that the carrier aircraft were actually guided tourist groups. Unfortunately, the Japanese cameras of the time were of such poor quality, that they required a 250kg flash to capture an image. To this day, any Japanese tourist visiting the United States is required under penalty of death, to be equipped w/ the latest in camera technology.

georgeo76
11-20-2004, 11:06 AM
In early '41 it was clear that the UK and USSR had Germany and Japan under control. The US was only allowed to participate because the European Allies knew they were the only ones who could document the war w/ quality Hollywood movies.

The La7 was a propaganda hoax. They were actually captured P11 frames covered w/ delta wood veneer for the purpose of air shows. The Germans went along w/ the sham so they could cry n00b!!! when they got shot down.

While German engineers during WWII were famous for their work, German Factory workers were notoriously inept. The DB engine was not and inverted V, it was simply installed upside down. Much of the early success of Operation Barbarossa was due to soviet confusion over 109s that preformed best when inverted.

The UK was on the verge of attacking Germany in early '38. It was only after Hitler blackmailed Chamberland w/ indisputable evidence that Shakespeare was actually a Frenchman did they back off.

The attack on Pearl Harbor was a big misunderstanding. It seems that the carrier aircraft were actually guided tourist groups. Unfortunately, the Japanese cameras of the time were of such poor quality, that they required a 250kg flash to capture an image. To this day, any Japanese tourist visiting the United States is required under penalty of death, to be equipped w/ the latest in camera technology.

WOLFMondo
11-20-2004, 11:29 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by georgeo76:
The UK was on the verge of attacking Germany in early '38. It was only after Hitler blackmailed Chamberland w/ indisputable evidence that Shakespeare was actually a Frenchman did they back off. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

lmfao! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

crazyivan1970
11-20-2004, 11:38 AM
Man, Fiend.. you are on the ROLL LMAO

Kasdeya
11-20-2004, 11:44 AM
All this time, sheesh. LMAO.

Korolov
11-20-2004, 01:01 PM
Don't forget The P-51 Won The War.

SeaFireLIV
11-20-2004, 01:18 PM
I guess you`ll soon find the documentation on how everything was black and white and never actually became colour until after WWII...

Korolov
11-20-2004, 02:00 PM
Seafire, you should know this forum could nitpick something as small as that to death... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

NORAD_Zooly10
11-20-2004, 02:04 PM
I almost responded to Seafire's comment http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_redface.gif
not inverted but upside down lol.
man its nice to have people add an air of humour in the topics.
~S~
Zooly

reddevil49
11-20-2004, 02:09 PM
Ahhhh the truth at last can be told. roflmao

Daiichidoku
11-20-2004, 02:12 PM
Ive never heard such a load of cr@p in my entire lifetime!

Tripe! Poppycock!...How dare you insinuate that "quality" and "Hollywood" can go together in the same sentence

the rest is dead on...I have forwarded a copy to a history teacher friend who has always complained about missing much of this very info in his textbooks, great contribution!

Capt_Haddock
11-21-2004, 04:38 PM
US troops never intended to land in Normandy in D-Day. Their true objective was a popular holiday resort in Almer√¬*a, but the summer of '44 was so hot that the Gibraltar straights dried out and the only route left was the Brest-Bayonne-Ja√©n coach service. The Germans were very unlucky that summer.

http://www.haddock.f2s.com/sig/F19bannerh.jpg
http://www.haddock.f2s.com/sig/F19banner.jpg
"If they are not with us, they are against us", General Mola, head of the fascist uprising in Spain, 18 July 1936

Chuck_Older
11-21-2004, 05:21 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Capt_Haddock:
US troops never intended to land in Normandy in D-Day. Their true objective was a popular holiday resort in Almer√¬*a, but the summer of '44 was so hot that the Gibraltar straights dried out and the only route left was the Brest-Bayonne-Ja√©n coach service. The Germans were very unlucky that summer.

_ <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I thought the intended destination was Majorca? Or was that slated for the 1945 holiday?

WTE_Galway
11-21-2004, 05:54 PM
you will note in the British (not hollywood)movie "Battle of Britian" they have taken the trouble to rebuild the 109's with the engines the right way up rather than inverted as willie originally intended.

hobnail
11-21-2004, 06:21 PM
The British were actually very cold on the idea of the ‚‚ā¨ô44 landings in Normandy, they preferred to open up the second front in Ibeza.

Eisenhower pointed out that this would be a disaster, only matched in military annals by the ill-fated Spring Break offensive during the US-Mexican War of 1847.

BSS_CUDA
11-22-2004, 07:55 AM
read somewhere that the A-bomb dropped on Hiroshima really wasnt a bomb at all, it seems that the japanese had an attack of insects and it ruined thier food crops for the year. and the U.S. sent them some humanitarian aid in the way of Rosarita refried beans, seems the whole town had eaten them but one Noob didnt read the readme file and decided to go out for a smoke. well we all know what happened

TgD Thunderbolt56
11-22-2004, 08:02 AM
Rosarita refried beans! LMFAO Cuda. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

Udidtoo
11-22-2004, 08:24 AM
Little known fact but the whole mess started at a Heads of State seminar training after hours party when Hitler uttered the now infamous question.."Any of you guys ever tried Yeagermiester?"

Aero_Shodanjo
11-22-2004, 11:42 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BSS_CUDA:
read somewhere that the A-bomb dropped on Hiroshima really wasnt a bomb at all, it seems that the japanese had an attack of insects and it ruined thier food crops for the year. and the U.S. sent them some humanitarian aid in the way of Rosarita refried beans, seems the whole town had eaten them but one Noob didnt read the readme file and decided to go out for a smoke. well we all know what happened <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I dont think any Japanese will consider this funny...

Bsnakeman
11-22-2004, 12:02 PM
Just an add...
Shakespeare wasn‚¬īt English, nor French, he was portuguese, the famous unknown author Jaques Peres ( according to Manoel de Oliveira‚¬īs film "O Convento" ) who moved to England due his fellow countrypeople couldn‚¬īt understand his writings and after his arrival in the British Islands, he became a hit !

LStarosta
11-22-2004, 12:14 PM
Stalin was an ally in WWII !!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

carguy_
11-22-2004, 01:06 PM
German military in WWII was famous for creating big things which mostly must have had Hitler`s "yes" to go into production.Little did they know he was a f@g...