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huggy87
01-23-2008, 11:01 AM
Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

jadger
01-23-2008, 12:02 PM
#4 is wrong, it should be within earshot or eyesight of the woman you're going out with.

foxyboy1964
01-23-2008, 12:17 PM
Some psychologists think that the male channel flicking behaviour is a product of our hunting instinct. You know, we're "hunting" for something.

jadger
01-23-2008, 01:00 PM
Originally posted by foxyboy1964:
Some psychologists think that the male channel flicking behaviour is a product of our hunting instinct. You know, we're "hunting" for something.

just like shopping, we know what we want, go straight for it, get it, get out. Women "browse" and by that we mean cover every square inch of the store.

Crash_Moses
01-23-2008, 01:36 PM
Originally posted by jadger:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by foxyboy1964:
Some psychologists think that the male channel flicking behaviour is a product of our hunting instinct. You know, we're "hunting" for something.

just like shopping, we know what we want, go straight for it, get it, get out. Women "browse" and by that we mean cover every square inch of the store. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

aka...gathering.

Metatron_123
01-24-2008, 06:00 AM
Wow, I browse loads in shops. Must be in touch with my feminine side then... http://media.ubi.com/us/forum_images/gf-glomp.gif

LEBillfish
01-24-2008, 08:20 AM
9. PROMISE (pra-miss) v.
Female.....A "warning or threat" as in "I promise to do X" if the males promise is broken.
Male.....A "lie" as in "Oh sure baby, I promise I won't...." Also known as the worlds biggest lie.

jadger
01-24-2008, 10:29 AM
Originally posted by LEBillfish:
9. PROMISE (pra-miss) v.
Female.....A "warning or threat" as in "I promise to do X" if the males promise is broken.
Male.....A "lie" as in "Oh sure baby, I promise I won't...." Also known as the worlds biggest lie.

no no LEBillfish, I think this is where the miscommunication between the sexes happen. A man never promises to do anything, because he knows a woman's expectations are always unattainably high. The best a man can do is try. That's why when we are promising stuff we say "I promise I'll try not to check out that chick's arse" I think a lot of the time you girls have selective hearing.

fabianfred
01-24-2008, 06:42 PM
never make a promise...they're too easy to break

"I'll try..." is more honest

Messaschnitzel
01-24-2008, 11:41 PM
Originally posted by jadger:

just like shopping, we know what we want, go straight for it, get it, get out. Women "browse" and by that we mean cover every square inch of the store.

I have to admit that if I am in a gun store, or a place that sells metal working tools, I will cover every square inch of the place and will most likely walk out of there after having bought something.

A man can never have too many guns or tools. Luckily, my wife understands this concept.

jadger
01-25-2008, 12:05 AM
Originally posted by Messaschnitzel:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by jadger:

just like shopping, we know what we want, go straight for it, get it, get out. Women "browse" and by that we mean cover every square inch of the store.

I have to admit that if I am in a gun store, or a place that sells metal working tools, I will cover every square inch of the place and will most likely walk out of there after having bought something.

A man can never have too many guns or tools. Luckily, my wife understands this concept. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

well ya, because that's only selling what you need, and you have to check out all your selection, of course you gotta verify the rifle you're buying is the right one, it's different because I meant in a department store or mall that sells a variety of stuff

Although sometimes us guys do browse... like when we're shopping for a shotgun but wandered over to the archery section.

K_Freddie
01-25-2008, 01:11 AM
After being married for 20 years, there are still Com-moo-knee-Kay-shun (how did her name get there http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif ) problems.

There's a lot of ..

Her - "I thought you ...", " I assumed you..."
Me - "Did I say so.. ?", "Never assume anything"

Her - "You said that you will do...."
Me - "Yes in my time, not yours. If you're that impatient do it yourself".

Her - "Couldn't you see that I was hinting http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/winky.gif "
Me - "What am I,.. a mind reader.. If you want something, Talk dirty to me - it works better".

I've said these things a 1000x but it makes no difference. The 'happy' marriage syndrome http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Breeze147
01-25-2008, 07:00 AM
Originally posted by Messaschnitzel:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by jadger:

just like shopping, we know what we want, go straight for it, get it, get out. Women "browse" and by that we mean cover every square inch of the store.

I have to admit that if I am in a gun store, or a place that sells metal working tools, I will cover every square inch of the place and will most likely walk out of there after having bought something.

A man can never have too many guns or tools. Luckily, my wife understands this concept. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I have probably 50 screwdrivers. And the latest handy-dandy wrench that can get at a nut from a reverse 90 degree angle. We need these like we need air. These are as important to us as cosmetics to women.