View Full Version : Sock Patrol 20 Part 1 (Refits for the Misfits)

04-11-2006, 12:48 PM
Let me begin by saying I hope that this does not confuse anyone. The Sock Patrols will branch off from the Noob Patrols after Patrol 19. The Noob Patrols will still continue and, other then the first 19 patrols will have nothing to do with the Sock Patrols. Is everybody thoroughly confused? Good lets roll.

~ A stinky sock fighting a dirty war with no regard for those around him in a new a brand new boat.

Taken from the personal War Diary (Kriegstagebuch) of Captain J. Smitlack.

10 June 1941 €" 3 August 1941 (Shore Leave and Refit)

The last three months have been a flurry of activity; upon returning from our 19th patrol board the U-1 Socko put in for a new boat. I protest but am told that U-1 is to be sent to the training school and nothing I can do will stop that. Socko explains to me that if we get a bigger boat we will have a better chance of destroying the armed C2 and getting back my deck chair. It does not happen often but I can€t argue with Socko. We are assigned U-109 a type IXB. Four bow tubes and two stern tubes. Quite a step up from the old boat and more spacious to boot, or is that Das Boot?

In order to man U-109 with enough sailors, petty officers and officers we hold a bake sale. Socko makes a couple batches of peanut butter double fudge chocolate chip cookies. He confides in my later that he switched the chocolate chips with chocolate flavored laxatives. And to think I was actually thought he was welding all the restroom doors closed for no reason. The sale works, although it got a bit smelly at the end, and we have a crew of 24 sailors, though we could have as many as 32 onboard. We have 19 Petty Officers and we add another Officer for a total of 5 on board, one of which is an evil sock.

Once the crew is in place we set to refitting the boat for sea. She had literally just been commissioned back in December of the previous year and now we were going to do an almost complete refit. U-109 gets a new conning tower to a IX/2. We are assigned our first deck gun a 10.5 CM SK C/32 105mm Deck gun. Socko stands drooling on the pier as it is being installed on the boat. Once it is in place he runs to it and rubs it with a diaper for several hours. I notice him later pulling off the gun shield and tossing in unceremoniously over the side. I ask him about it later and he says he feels sorry sometimes for the British crew and wants to make sure he gives them a fair shot. The chief later on overhears Socko in the bar tell the crew that he removed the gun shield so he could throw obscene hand gestures at his enemies and see the look on their faces as he sends them into the next life. We upgrade the engine to a faster more efficient model the Max and I have to talk Socko out of painting flames down either side of the boat and when he isn€t looking I have the crew remove the spoiler the angry little sock had installed on the aft deck. We are also issued 2 double- barreled flak guns. Socko spends the rest of the afternoon practicing firing one gun empty and then while the gun crew is reloading running to the second gun and firing it€s clip dry before running back to the first gun to do it all over again.

The next day Socko catches me trying to add an anti-sonar coating to the boat and calls me a coward saying that if I add it he will report me for trying to hide from the enemy and not take the fight to him. He then kicks me in the groin and walks off singing something along the lines of sometime you feel like a nut and sometimes you don€t. I am just about to report that the boat is ready for sea when I find out that Socko has put in a request for the 2nd flotilla. I would not have had a problem getting rid of the little disagreeable sock but he put in a transfer for the boat and the entire crew. The transfer was approved.

I tried to protest to the commander of the 1rst Flotilla but he had already packed my bags for me and wished me a good trip. I found out later that the Flotilla commander had a party after we had gone. I guess he was just too broken up over our leaving to express how he really felt in front of us. Such is the life of a U-boat man. Socko assures me that with a new boat and a little geographical relocation the C2 is as good as sunkWe transfer to Lorient and the 2nd Flotilla.

The waters around our new base are shallow for several nautical miles until we are almost out to sea. I point this out to Socko and he merely smiles and pats the flak gun. Let them try and bomb us here Nancy I€ll make them wish their fathers had never met their mothers he says with a psychotic glint in his single brass button eye. I say a prayer for our enemy that they do not test the mad little sock.

We pull up to the dock with little to no fan fair. None of our groupies made the trip down from Brest I guess. I report in to the flotilla commander who tells me that he has been expecting us and that our reputation proceeds us. He then breaks into tears and I am not able to get much else out of him. We have to prepare for our first patrol so we leave to get ready. They won€t let us paint the 2nd Flotilla emblem on our boat until after our first patrol so we are stuck with the 1rst Flotilla emblem. Sometime during the night an unfit came down and painted Yeet over the 1rst Flotilla emblem. I hope we live long enough to paint the 2nd flotilla emblem over it.

We load up the boat with all the food, fresh water, flak ammo, deck gun ammo and torpedoes she can carry; twenty-one in total. two G7e€s and two G7a€s in the front tubes, one of each in the stern tubes. Eight in reserve inside the boat almost twice the full load of the old U-1 and seven in external airtight containers on the deck.

On 3 August I do a last check of the boat. She is as ready as she will ever be. Tomorrow we sail and our patrol grid is BF25. Which seems close by and I mention this to Socko. He assures me that we will go out full but come back empty except for our huge tonnage score. I hope he is right and yet as always I am afraid of my cotton Co-Captain. Will this new boat be the blessing that he says it is or will it be our undoing? I guess we will find out.


I'm just going to play this by ear and see how this story thread goes. Let me know what you think. Keep hunting.

04-11-2006, 01:08 PM
Ok here is the first one that reports himself in as beeing confused http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/53.gif

So the Sock patrols will continue the storyline of the Noob Patrols while the continued Noob Patrol´s will now be a different storyline that has nothing to do with the original Noob Patrol´s anymore.

Did i get this right ? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

04-11-2006, 01:25 PM
I'll second that Celeon, but so far it's a darn good read.

The story is okay so far Psychfilm http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif Looking forward to more improvised story telling in the future!

04-11-2006, 01:31 PM
Yeet! The best gets better - the thought of Socko with a 105mm cannon is terrifying!!

It'll be a tough job for the prospective First Officers of the 2nd flotilla! A lifespan measured merely in paragraphs!!

Keep 'em coming Psychfilm http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/clap.gif

04-11-2006, 01:51 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/bigtears.gif Sorry for the confusion. I knew I had not explained myself well enough. Okay, first off you have to think of the Noob Patrols and the Sock Patrols as two different stories occuring in two different worlds. The only thing they have in common is the first 19 patrols.

So Noob Patrol went Noob Patrol 18, Noob Patrol 19, and up to this point Noob Patrol 20. The next story in the noob Patrol thread will be Noob Patrol 21 followed by Noob Patrol 22. In this they will keep U-1 and fight till the end of the war.

Okay now the Sock Patrols branch off from the Noob Patrols after Noob Patrol 19. So in the Sock Patrols you have Noob Patrol 18, Noob Patrol 19, Sock Patrol 20, Sock Patrol 21, Sock Patrol 22 etc. In the Sock Patrols the crew of the U-1 upgrade the boat after Noob Patrol 19. Does that help? I'll keep trying if it does not. The sock patrols will be posted Here (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums?a=tpc&s=400102&f=857101043&m=3081090733&r=4781050234#4781050234) Hope that helps. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/10.gif

04-11-2006, 02:38 PM
Ah now i understand http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

04-11-2006, 03:00 PM
no one wants sacko! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Yen Lo
04-11-2006, 04:04 PM
This sounds real good. I like it, please keep em coming.

04-11-2006, 04:17 PM
I get it and greatly, and I do mean GREATLY, enjoy the read!!! That sock on a deck gun at last...... and now he has two AA guns to use.

04-11-2006, 05:09 PM
My family thinks I am quite insane. I am continually reminding them to change their socks regularly and wash them in very hot water lest they develop a life of their own while stewing, dirty, in the laundry hamper. Oh and vacuum regularly under the beds.

Now there will be two storylines far more Worthy of Blackadder and Baldrick on bad acid?

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/11.gif

04-11-2006, 05:32 PM

Greetings from the parallel universe...