View Full Version : Patrol Diary of Herbert Altmeier Part 10 (long)

11-06-2005, 01:08 AM
24 Oct 1944
I have scheduled my two weeks leave to begin tomorrow. I need some time away from the boat and the crew and everything else associated with the war.

8 Nov 1944
Yvette€s journal grew much fatter over my leave. It has the full travelogue.

Visited pen 1 - our berth this time. Lippisch informed me that BdU is giving us a new type of torpedo for combat testing: a Mark II version of the Wren. Although Lippisch normally embraces the latest technology, he is hesitant to do so this time. €œInsufficiently tested,€ was his verdict. I agreed, however, we still were bound to following BdUs order. What did the order say? Lippisch retrieved a document from his shirt pocket, unfolded it, and handed it to me. I read through it €" the operative phrases were to €œload aboard U-390€, €œtest under combat conditions€, and €œfill out the enclosed report upon return from mission.€

€œPut it in external stores,€ I said. €œIf we get a chance we€ll use it.€ Putting in external stores covered loading. How it held up in storage was a valid €œtest under combat conditions.€ Lippisch so liked this solution that he was moved to actually smile.

9 Nov 1944
Late morning, von der Leyen came to my office. I invited him to enter and have a seat. Slumping into a chair he blurted out, €œHer €¦ Sir, I have a problem.€ He had almost called me by my first name €" a breach of naval etiquette when addressing a superior office while on duty. His problem, he quickly revealed, was personal and involved Inger.

I was confronted with a dilemma. I had gotten to know von der Leyen when I was a Jr. Lieutenant and he an Ensign. While I was his XO I had been above him in the chain of command but, practically speaking, the command distance wasn€t that great. Now that I was his Captain, I felt a vast gulf had opened between us. Should I tell him that I couldn€t help him with his personal problems? Or, should I consider this to be a matter of a crewman€s morale and assume the role of father-confessor? I know how Willi would have handled things €" he€d have become a combination father-confessor and big-brother.

Reluctantly, I chose father-confessor. Von der Leyen delivered up a tale of love gone wrong. Inger had rejected him and he was beyond consolation. Her reason for leaving him was that €œshe couldn€t give her heart to a man who was so likely to be dead tomorrow.€ Throughout his story, of which I€ve presented only the essentials, von der Leyen spoke while staring at a point on the floor a meter in front of him.

No longer seeing Inger was a good outcome for his love affair. What I told von der Leyen was that trying to carry on a relationship with a prostitute was going to be fraught with problems in any case and this was for the best. At this his face reddened and, for the first time, he looked me in the eye, €œEx-. She was an ex-prostitute. And who told you, anyway?€

There was no point in hedging €" I could have learned this from only one person. €œSeehofer told me €" I assumed it was common knowledge.€
€œHorst? Horst told you? That filthy swine!€

Things were spiraling out of control. €œLet€s leave Seehofer out of this. You must try to get over Inger. Besides, if you give it time, she may change her mind.€ This last statement was probably a mistake.

€œWould you talk to her? She likes and respects you. You could change her mind!€ Von der Leyen€s expression implored me to intercede for him with Inger. I gave in. €œIf she€s willing to talk to me, tell her I€ll be at Ole€s Wine Bar at 1900.€ Von der Leyen thanked me profusely and dashed out, forgetting to salute.

I was half-way through my beer when Inger entered Ole€s. Seeing me, her face brightened. She walked over and sat next to me at the table. €œHerbert, I so glad see you.€ She reached over and placed her hand on mine, which were folded on the table in front of me. The effect was galvanic. I was immediately flustered and drew my hands away. €œInger, Franz tells me that you have quit seeing him because you are afraid he will be killed soon.€ She laughed coquettishly, €œNo, no €¦ I like Franz €" like very much. But he €" how you say,€ she said something in Norwegian then continued, €œhe callow boy. I tell him other so he not feel bad. I prefer real man.€ She flashed me a look that left me weak. I began to ostentatiously finger my wedding ring. €œCaptain away from his woman long time?€ At this, I began to get angry, which proved a good antidote to her charms.

€œI told Franz that there was no future being involved with a prostitute €" an opinion which you have amply validated tonight.€ She looked puzzled, I didn€t care. €œBeyond that, Inger, I suggest you look for other customers. I€m not buying what you€re selling.€ At that, I got up and left.

I walked back to base, trying to come to terms with my embarrassment and shame. That woman had gotten to me. I didn€t think such a thing was possible. Von der Leyen wasn€t the only €œcallow boy€. I€ve been with only two women in my life. The first was a prostitute at the brothel next door to The Neptune. I suppose that inexperience was what made me susceptible to Inger. In my favor: I€d heard the Siren€s Song and survived without needing to be tied to a mast. I began to construct my confession, €œBless me Father, for I have sinned. I had impure thoughts about a woman of ill-repute.€

Thinking back on my one night at the brothel drives home how small things can profoundly alter the trajectory of one€s life. The night I €œbecame a man€ was the same night I met Großman. He and I were sitting in the lobby waiting for a woman to become available. Seeing how nervous I was, he struck up a conversation. Later that night we rendezvoused at The Neptune. Großman and I started palling around after that. At some point, he began encouraging me to volunteer for U-boats, which I eventually did. So, I€m here in Bergen, Captain of a U-boat, because I happened to visit a brothel on one particular night.

10 Nov 1944
I called von der Leyen to my office and told him a slightly expurgated version of what had transpired with Inger €" well, maybe more than €œslightly€. While I spoke, he took one of his mechanical pencils out and began twirling it around his thumb.

What I did tell him was that Inger was returning to her old profession and, in so doing, was not a good candidate for a serious relationship. Von der Leyen didn€t respond €" he continued to twirl his pencil. €œFranz,€ sternly, €œI need you to have your mind fully engaged on the task at hand. I€ve done what I could to help you with Inger but now you€re going to have to put your feelings aside and get to work. There€s not a man here who hasn€t suffered some kind of personal loss €" family members killed, crewmates killed, wives and sweethearts killed. Start thinking about your responsibility to your crewmates. We all depend on you. I don€t want to hear any more from you about Inger. Let€s get through the next patrol, and the one after that, and the one after that. And when the war is over and you€ve got a chest full of medals, she€ll see what a mistake she made.€

That final little speech seemed to hit the right note. Von der Leyen€s mood was markedly improved when he left my office.

Carrying out torpedo attacks is much easier than this.

13 Nov 1944
I caught sight of Lehmann-Willenbrock today in the officers mess. He was sitting with several men so I decided I best not bother him.

16 Nov 1944
The Wren Mark II arrived today. It is indistinguishable from the Wren. The differences, according to Lippisch, were all internal. He told me that the Mark II was supposed to home on propeller noise and disregard other sounds.

18 Nov 1944
Final preparations completed €" we leave tomorrow.

19 Nov 1944
We departed Bergen at 0856. No Inger on the dock. Von der Leyen didn€t seem to care.

20 Nov 1944
Weather remains good - visibility is excellent, clouds scattered.

Lippisch has peerless knowledge of torpedoes but he has never conducted an actual attack. Since he is my XO €" on paper at least €" I will give him the first single that becomes available.

I€ve also decided that I will give some of the other officers an opportunity to execute an attack under my close supervision, when circumstances permit. I believe the Old Man was right: the more skills a man develops, the more valuable he is, both to himself and to his crewmates.

24 Nov 1944
We were running on the surface in grid square AE83 this morning when Schmidt relayed a contact report of an enemy merchant. Von der Leyen generated an intercept course and the hunt was on. I ordered the radar activated a half hour before projected time of contact.

Radar registered our quarry at 1143 €" three minutes early. Von der Leyen was in excellent form (I think the Inger problem is solved). Lippisch was standing next to me in the control room. Putting my hand on his shoulder, I leaned close and said, sotto voce, €œWould you like to take it?€ There was a pause and then he quietly responded, €œSure, I€ll do it.€ Ashore, this would be one of those moments when he€d punctuate his utterance by spitting €" I was glad he refrained from indulging this habit in the boat.

To my knowledge, Lippisch had never fired a torpedo in combat, so I was interested to see how he would handle things.

Lippisch was meticulous and by-the-book. His manner was rather like an instructor showing cadets how to prosecute an attack.

He dived the boat and maneuvered into firing position.

At 800 meters, he fired and scored a hit on his target, a Liberty Cargo. After the torpedo detonated, Lippisch raised the scope to survey his handiwork. Satisfied, he turned and wordlessly invited me to take a look. The ship was slowing and already beginning to list to starboard. €œNow that€s a beautiful sight,€ I said.

The ship remained afloat so, after reloading, Lippisch hit it with a finisher.

Since watching Lippisch earlier today, I€ve been pondering the different styles men exhibit in conducting torpedo attacks. Lippisch€s was deliberate €" almost didactic. Willi€s was competent €" doing what was necessary but no more. The Old Man€s style was to treat it as a game or a puzzle to be solved.

Of the three, I€m closest to the Old Man€s style though, in execution, I often dispense with parts of the drill I don€t seem to need. If firing a torpedo is likened to firing a bullet out of a pistol, then the Old Man lays out the solution and has the crew **** and aim the pistol for him. I tend to dispense with having the crew aim €" at least half of my shots are made gyro angle zero. I trust my eye and my brain more than the TDC. My style would never be taught in torpedo school.

28 Nov 1944
I was awakened a little before 0300 (0200 local) and told that a possible task force had been detected. It was approaching our position in grid square AL37 at medium speed.

When I arrived in the control room, von der Leyen was already at the chart table, translating the SO€s information into a course. By now it had been confirmed that we were tracking a task force.

Fassbinder was now up so I had him take the observation scope and do a quick check. There were no clouds and, with the Moon two days from full, visibility was excellent. As I knew from bitter experience, this cut both ways.

Ten minutes later, I popped the scope up for a quick check and saw what appeared to be a J Class Destroyer, range about 5000, speed 10 to 12 knots as a rough guess. It was leading the task group. The SO was reporting another escort approaching that would likely pass behind us €" it was undoubtedly running a routine search pattern. The center of the task force €" our yet to be ascertained target €" would be passing close by.

I waited a few minutes and popped the scope up again. Quickly lowering it I called out €œMark€ to start the clock and then gave the range and bearing of our target: a Bogue Class CVE. Two minutes later and I had a second data point for von der Leyen. As he calculated I ordered a port turn €" at minimum revs it would be slow. In short order, von der Leyen had the solution. Von der Leyen is nearly as good at mathematics as I. I€ve concluded that I can rely on him so this time I didn€t burden my brain with a lot of mental arithmetic.

The slow turn I had initiated brought us to the correct attack orientation so now the only thing that remained was feeding target data to the torpedoes and praying that we could make the shot without being spotted by the escorts. It would be at around 2200 meters, so I was going to fire a 1.0 degree spread from Tubes I, III, and IV €" two LuT€s and a T3 €" magnetic pistol 0.8 meters beneath the keel. I directed von der Leyen to feed the TDC data from the chart. This time I didn€t want any shots bouncing off the stern. I also ordered that the Wren in Tube II be set 0.5 meters below the keel of the J Class DD, gyro angle 0.

My plan was to pop up the scope, fire the spread at the Bogue and then snap fire the Wren at the lead DD. At that point, I€d turn 45 degrees behind the task force and dive. This should place our stern to the flank DD passing behind and give us enough time to dive deep and escape.

Just seconds before it was time to fire, I raised the scope, locked onto the target and fired. I switched to the Wren and quickly swiveled the scope toward the DD, shifted my aiming point about 10 degrees ahead of midships and then fired. All according to plan. €œDown scope, port 45 degrees, ahead standard.€ From the weapons station, Seehofer announced, €œRunning time, torpedo one: 142 seconds, Captain.€

As the seconds ticked by, the Bogue€s second starboard-side escort became a concern. It had remained in formation and was passing across our bow. I ordered a new course €" 60 €" and released a decoy.

I walked over to the weapons station and stood next to Seehofer. We counted down torpedo one together. At the appointed time: a dull boom, followed by two more in quick succession. €œAhead slow, level off at 150,€ I ordered. Now it was our enemy€s turn.

We heard secondary explosions. The SO reported bulkheads breaking on our target. We€d sunk our second CVE! Moments later a different sounding explosion: the Wren had found the DD.

The SO reported escorts converging at high speed. I adjusted the course to keep our stern pointed in their general direction.

The escorts commenced their attack €¦ on our decoy. There were intermittent explosions from their depth charge runs for the next 20 minutes.

After another half hour or so, the bodyguards collected themselves and retired to the west without their queen.

I turned the con over to Nakszynski, telling him to surface when he thought it was safe and transfer the torpedoes from the external boxes. Then I went to my cabin to return to my interrupted sleep.

I€m writing this at 1350. We are now in our tenth day of excellent weather. We snorkel every four hours only long enough to replenish our air and recharge batteries, then return to 50 meters to listen for targets. I€ve ordered von der Leyen to expand our search pattern. These hunting grounds seem to have played out.

Throughout the day the men were in good spirits €" so was I. At our hands, the enemy had suffered a stinging defeat. We could return home now and count our patrol a success. Of course, with 10 torpedoes and plenty of fuel remaining, return is not a consideration.

29 Nov 1944
I awoke from strange dreams about Yvette, her mother, and Admiral D¶nitz to find Lippisch bending over me, quietly saying, €œCaptain?€ The time was just before 0300 (0200 local). €œApproaching warship, Captain,€ he declared. Why does the enemy insist on waking me in the middle of the night?

By the time I reached the control room, two warships had been detected and the boat had been turned toward them. We had been submerged nearly two hours, cruising at 50 meters in grid square AL39.

Another warship materialized, then another. Finally, we were tracking six. A hunter-killer! Seeking vengeance, perhaps?

I sent Seehofer to take charge in the forward torpedo room and put Nakszynski at the weapons station. I wanted him to observe the attack €¦ if I got to make it.

Fassbinder reported that at his last observation, seas were calm and skies cloudless. A day before full Moon meant that visibility would be excellent.

I ordered all quiet, periscope depth. Von der Leyen reported that the hunter-killer was heading generally SE. It would be passing close. I ordered a course change to 45 to put us perpendicular to the hunter-killer€s path.

Unlike yesterday€s task force, this one was maintaining a compact formation €" four escorts formed a box around the presumed CVE with an escort in the front running occasional search patterns. If the hunter-killer maintained this formation, it would simplify the attack.

I made my first visual check with the scope at around 0315. I could just make out two destroyers €" the leader and the nearest corner of the €œbox€. I focused on the corner escort - since it was probably station keeping with its charge, I would use it to refine von der Leyen€s estimate. I made a couple of observations over two minutes. Von der Leyen came up with 10 knots, course 120. I altered our course accordingly and ordered minimum revs.

This maneuver having been completed I raised the scope again and saw the now familiar silhouette of a Bogue Class CVE. I passed the pertinent data to von der Leyen and told Nakszynski to have the two remaining LuTs in Tubes I and IV set for depth 9.0, speed 40, running distance to follow. Two minutes later I checked again and we fixed the course and speed: 9 knots, course 122. I made a final course adjustment and then waited for von der Leyen to state what I now had figured out: the running distance would be 3200 meters. Once I had his confirmation, I sent the final data to the torpedoes, via Nakszynski. The straight run would be 3400. I would fire a salvo, spread 1.0, gyro angle zero. Just like a torpedo exercise.

Just before the Bogue reached the firing point I raised the scope. I followed for a few moments and then fired. This time, the escape path was less complicated. I ordered standard and a 135 degree turn to port, dive to 150. Running time on torpedo one was 155 seconds. At a minute thirty I released the decoy and then waited to see if our attack had succeeded.

Two successive explosions told us the LuTs had found the target.

We went to ahead slow. There were secondary explosions and the SO reported the Bogue was going down. The escorts searched fruitlessly for an hour or so and then sailed off.

I turned the con over to Lippisch and retired to my cabin. I sat on my bunk, mulling over recent events. It was then that the full import of our accomplishments these past two days struck me. We had sunk two enemy CVE€s in two days! This more than compensated for the frustrations of the previous patrol. I crossed myself and thanked God for his bounteous gift. I immediately wondered how God would receive this votive gesture €" thanking him for allowing me to kill my fellow men.

I will take the matter up with Father Peter on my return.

I couldn€t sleep €" my mind was racing so I returned to duty. I relieved the command staff and told them all to get some rest. Fassbinder said he€d had plenty of sleep so he remained on duty with me. I surfaced the boat and Fassbinder stood watch. I finally relinquished the con and went to sleep after 0800.

After consulting with Lippisch and Nakszynski to discuss options, I€ve ordered that we chart a search pattern that will begin to take us in the direction of home.

30 Nov 1944
I went on the bridge to look at the full Moon tonight. The Moon has been good to us this voyage: twice I used her light to make kills. Newton taught us that, like the legendary apple, the Moon is falling to Earth. Unlike the falling apple, which reaches the ground, the Moon€s fall always takes it beyond the Earth€s horizon, so it falls forever. That€s what an orbit really is €" an eternal fall. Was the Moon€s light providential €" or something else? Lucifer, the fallen angel condemned to Hell for all eternity is also, paradoxically the bringer of light. Is my way forward lit by the Holy Spirit or by Lucifer?

Earlier today, I ordered that we cease the search patterns and make for home €" standard speed. Fuel is adequate for a day or two more but I want to maintain a good safety margin.

1 Dec 1944
We€ve been making good progress €" 12 uninterrupted days of excellent weather. Unbelievable!

Received a report that a merchant is about 2 hours away, headed west €" in our general direction. We€re going to go after it.

Shortly before reaching our ambush point, the radar warning sounded €" approaching aircraft. Lippisch looked at me with what appeared as faint disapproval when I ordered crash dive. The attackers wasted their bombs on the Atlantic.

It was around time to dive for the attack anyway and I€m still not fully satisfied with the FLAK crew€s readiness. My conclusion was, why take an unnecessary risk?

Within 15 minutes, the SO picked up our quarry, at long range bearing just off our starboard bow. I turned the boat over to Nakszynski, telling him to use the stern Wren. I wanted to empty the last external box.

He set up the attack and fired the Wren from 600 meters. It hit, putting the target €" another Liberty Cargo - dead in the water and listing to starboard.

It took two T3€s to finish her off.

I left the con to Nakszynski, who surfaced after a half hour and resumed our course for home.

2 Dec 1944
This begins journal Number Two of my patrol experiences. The old journal was nearly full and yesterday was the one year anniversary of its inception. I read the old journal over yesterday evening €" what a strange journey it chronicles. I could never have imagined that the 20-year-old FLAK gunner at the beginning would become a 21-year-old Captain less than a year later.

4 Dec 1944
We made the final run along Byfjord at good speed. The weather never turned bad the entire patrol! We sailed into the harbor and docked at 2030.

5 Dec 1944
Word of our mission was all around the base by mid-morning. In the afternoon, I got the expected request: the Flotilla Commander wanted to see me. I knew that Lehmann-Willenbrock (whom I shall hereinafter refer to as €œLW€) had taken over the Eleventh from Cohausz yesterday and I was greatly anticipating finally meeting him.

Arriving at his office, I found his door open. He was standing, gazing out the window behind his desk. I knocked twice on the frame. €œCome in,€ he said, without turning. I walked in, snapped to attention and saluted, €œLieutenant Herbert Altmeier reporting as ordered, Commandant.€ He turned, acknowledged my salute and rounded his desk to shake my hand. €œSo, you€re the young Captain I€ve been hearing so much about. Please be seated.€

Now seated behind his desk, LW wanted a verbal report on the patrol. I gave him a brief synopsis. He wanted more detail on how the enemy reacted to our decoys. He wanted to know if we had a chance to use the Wren Mark II €" seemed a bit disappointed to hear that we hadn€t.

€œLieutenant Altmeier, I regret to say that we€ve nearly run out of medals to award you. Do you think you can find room on your uniform for a Knight€s Cross?€
€œI believe so, Sir. Thank you.€
€œOne other matter €" a mutual friend instructed me to give this to you.€ LW reached across his desk to hand me a package wrapped in brown paper.

LW told me the awards ceremony would be at 1400 in the base auditorium on Friday and then dismissed me. Outside his office I stopped to examine the package. There was a note attached:

I trust this message finds you well and in good spirits. I€ve enclosed a book that was a favorite of mine as a boy and to which I€ve returned many times over the years. I hope you enjoy it as much as I.

I look forward to seeing you again in the not too distant future.

All the best,
H. von Stunde

I removed the wrapping paper to reveal an expensive, leather bound book on which was printed Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea in gold embossed lettering. The Old Man had sent me a French edition of Jules Verne€s novel about the enigmatic captain of an amazing submarine called the Nautilus. Though never having read any Verne I was familiar with the book. I opened the book to examine the frontispiece. Below the title was an artist€s rendering of the Nautilus €" it resembled a swordfish made of metal. At the bottom of the page was the name of the publisher and the date of publication €" June, 1939.

6 Dec 1944
I stayed up late last night to finish reading the book. What an astonishing imagination Verne had. For a book written in the early 1870€s he got much more right than wrong. He was right about using electricity for U-boat propulsion underwater though he never really explained how it was generated. Obviously, if he could have explained it, he would have built the Nautilus himself. The Nautilus€ speed was way in excess of anything possible today: 44 knots €" torpedo speed. Interestingly, one thing Verne failed to imagine was the torpedo. Strange since the first such weapons were becoming available when he wrote the book. My guess is that Verne underestimated the technology and figured the kinetic energy of a boat traveling 44 knots was much more destructive.

I appreciate the gift but I am puzzled why the Old Man chose this book in particular.

8 Dec 1944
Another awards ceremony. Afterwards, I caught up with Lippisch who was walking back to the pens. I asked him, since he was going to the boat, would he help me with something. €œSure,€ he answered.

At the boat, I handed him the Knight€s Cross. €œWould you put this in the crew quarters, next to the other medal?€
€œOf course, Captain.€ Lippisch disappeared with it into the boat.

They are truly great men.

11-06-2005, 01:12 AM
Here is the complete list of episodes to date:

<LI>Episode 1 (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/2141067563)
<LI>Episode 2 (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/9141086663)
<LI>Episode 3 (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/7411026763)
<LI>Episode 4 (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/6311026763)
<LI>Episode 5a (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/2041009763)
<LI>Episode 5b (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/9351068963)
<LI>Episode 6 (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/7461079073)
<LI>Episode 7a (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/3701021273)
<LI>Episode 7b (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/8601021273)
<LI>Episode 8 (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/6151017273)
<LI>Episode 9 (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/857101043/m/1391066373)

11-06-2005, 07:10 AM
Excellent as always!

Two escort carriers in one patrol is quite an achivement. Personally I've not even seen one at sea yet, but that's probably more to do with the year my patrols take place than for lack of trying.

Looking forward to more parts from Altmeier's diary.

11-06-2005, 10:01 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif Captian? Second CVE? What the hell have I missed??? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

11-06-2005, 11:48 PM
Originally posted by WilhelmSchulz:
http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif Captian? Second CVE? What the hell have I missed??? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

Actually it's 3 Bogues + 1 failed attack, plus 3 sitings too far away to attack.

In Episode 8, our hero got a Bogue as XO.

In Episode 9, the failed attack.

In Episode 10, 2 Bogues as Captain.

Chalk it up to blind luck.

11-06-2005, 11:52 PM
Originally posted by Amnio:
Excellent as always!

Two escort carriers in one patrol is quite an achivement. Personally I've not even seen one at sea yet, but that's probably more to do with the year my patrols take place than for lack of trying.

Looking forward to more parts from Altmeier's diary.

It sort of made up for the previous patrol when there were 3 too far away to attack and a fourth at 9000+ meters.

11-07-2005, 10:53 AM
ADDENDUM: In the section of the narrative dealing with Lippisch's attack on the Liberty Cargo, you'll notice a four-letter work has been starred out. Although you can probably figure it out from context, the word is "ccok" (transpose the two inner letters). Apparently the verb used to describe putting the hammer of a gun into firing position and another name for a male chicken didn't make it past the filter.

Stupid. I wonder what it does with foreign words? Here's an experiment: "scheiße".