View Full Version : bahahah real pilots are just like the guys on here

05-26-2007, 06:25 PM

TO: Capt. Eric Best 3 SEP 93
FROM: The Wild Weasels
SUBJ: Gross Written Buffoonery

1. In case you hadn't noticed, the F-4 is the F-4 of the 1990s. Any comparison between that worthless piece of flying FOD that you buzz around in and the Mighty Phantom II is insulting to the many men who have fought and died In the F-4. The Phantom II was flying Defense Suppression and Air Superiority missions over Hanoi, dropping LGBs with PAVE KNIFE on the Paul Doumer Bridge, and flying CAS in the Iron Triangle (to mention just a few) long before your flying toy was a wet dream in the minds of the Texas Congressional Delegation.

The misplaced belief that the F-16 is a true multi-role fighter is no doubt a contributing factor to the common occurrence of Vipers spearing rocks, dirt, trees, other aircraft and large bodies of water with the pitot tube. The F-16 was designed to be a cheap, day VFR fighter and no amount of training or money will ever be able to overcome that imitation. If any aircraft today approaches the potential for comparison to the F-4, it is another two seat, two engine McDonnell Douglas product in the Air Force Service.

2. Any attempt to inflate your basement-level status by comparison to what is, quite simply the best jet fighter ever built and the Defender of the Free World for over 30 Years, is a pitiful attempt to boost your ego by comparing yourself to better men flying a better aircraft. The F-4 has flown more types of missions, in a superlative fashion, than the F-16 could ever consider. We would all love to see the day when an F-16 lifts off with 24 Mk 82s and four AAMs on a combat mission. And the F-4 became the world's best ever distributor of MIG parts with 1950s technology, AIM-7Es, AIM 9Bs and cannon, without having to wait for the introduction of the AMRAAM.

3. The simple fact of the matter is that the dismal combat performance of the F-16 in the Gulf War is directly responsible for the continuing service of both the F-4 and the A-10. The F-16s inability to deliver ordnance load accurately resulted in the need to re-attack targets, endangering men needlessly and wasting resources. It wasn't the F-16 that ran a SAM-killing 8 ship through the most intense air defenses ever encountered by the USAF over Baghdad on the first night of the war. The only reason "Magnum" is even in your vocabulary is because the dwindling numbers of Phantoms led to the conclusion that an F-16 on the wing is better than nothing at all, but only just.

The only people that have not caught on to the glaring inadequacy of the F-16 are the people who drive them. The only foreign customer stupid enough to purchase the F-16 since the war has been Taiwan, largely because, (1) they placed their order long before the war, and (2) they had no real option because they were not offered the F-18 and didn't already operate the Phantom II. Even your own manufacturer bailed out of the business as soon as they realized that they could no longer rely on general and gross stupidity to sell their flying failure.

4. To wrap this up, we greatly resent the misguided and faulty comparison of the F-4 Phantom II to the Fighting Falcon, the only fighter aircraft In history to be named after a second-rate college football team. Any resemblance between the McDonnell Douglas Phantom II Supersonic, All-Weather, Fighter-Bomber (Mostly Bomber), and the miserable, single-seat, single-engine, computer designed, fly-by-wire, composite airframe, software-driven, day VFR, ice-FOD sucking, weakdick bubble canopied, target missing, ground impacting, non-hook raising, auto trimming, piddlepack ejecting, G-LOCing piece of flying pork barrel politics is limited to the fact that both aircraft have an F- designation. Your aircraft should have a blue stripe painted around the nose and "FOR TRAINING USE ONLY" stenciled on the fuselage. And you can go to the club tonight knowing that you, your article, and this letter occupy a significant place in our Doofer Book.



05-26-2007, 07:14 PM
Where is Sensei?

05-26-2007, 07:38 PM

You know how we (gamers) all stop what we are doing in-game and watch the drop tanks fall off our planes...

From Keith "Rosey" Rosenkranz of the 388TFW:

~> http://www.lucky-devils.net/baghdad.html

I was roughly 60 miles in front of Maj. Tice when he was shot down. The strike package we flew in was the largest of the war - 78 aircraft. And the mission to knock out Saddam Hussein's nuclear research facility was arguable the most important mission of the war.

This particular flight to Baghdad happened to be my second combat mission. And it was a long one - over 7 hours.

I had just come off target and because of all of the flack around me, I pulled my nose up too quickly and got slow. As I was turning south, I plugged in the afterburner to help regain speed. Within seconds, my RAW indicator signaled to me that an SA-6 had locked on my jet and was heading in my direction.

As I continued to climb, I looked off my right shoulder toward the ground and saw the missile streaking towards me. Knowing I was slow, I hit the emergency jettison switch so I could get rid of my wing tanks. <span class="ev_code_yellow">As strange as this may sound</span>, I wanted to see what the tanks looked like when they came off the jet. I banked the jet back to the left and looked over my left shoulder. The tanks were tumbling in slow motion toward the ground. The vapor from the moisture in the air seemed to wrap around them. To this day, I can still see those tanks tumbling!!!

When I got that thrill out of my system, I decided I had better look back to see if the SA-6 was still guiding on me. Nice priotities, huh? As it turned out, the missile went behind my jet and began to fall back toward the ground.

I finally got my airspeed and altitude back and began to work out the rejoin with my flight lead. The steerpoint I was flying to was set for the southern border of Iraq. I remember seeing the DME hit 180 when Maj. Tice started screaming on the radios that he had taken a hit. At that point the radios fell silent as everyone listened for his next call.

Within minutes, an EF-111 eventually joined on Tico and started escorting him to the south. As time passed, Tico's F-16 started to lose oil pressure. We had a long ways to go and in my heart I knew he probably wasn't going to make it. His engine eventaully seized and his EPU fired, which allowed him to keep his hydraulics for ten minutes. This would give him the ability to still use his flight controls.

When Maj. Tice got to the point where he had to eject, he called out, "I'm giving it my best Bogart." He then said, "That's all I've got." I was taken back by his calmness. My friend Maj Scott "Foot" Goodfellow clicked his mike and replied bluntly, "Good luck!"

I had tears streaming down my face when Tico ejected. I can still hear his voice and I will never forget that mission.
Apparently, dropping tanks is not done in peacetime, nor for training. Perhaps pilots should be allowed to drop some tanks just once during their long career, to get it out of their system before they enter comabat.

Maybe this man flew F-106s or something long before, so we can't make fun here. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif F-106 pilots also generally never dropped tanks during PeaceTime (and probably could never see them drop even if they did). This culture of Save The Tanks is so psycho-culture imprinted, in other The Sims we have to "hack" some 3rd Party modded aircraft so they have actual, true, functionally droppable drop tanks (!) as the 3D models have perma-fixed drop tanks.

Watching drop tanks fall off your plane is neat to watch in The Sims, and I guess for the real things too.

05-26-2007, 07:42 PM
Originally posted by leitmotiv:
Where is Sensei?

his head probably exploded when he read that.

05-26-2007, 07:55 PM
there is a Viper driver sharing his opinion of the Hornet thru a MB that was linked here in the past - was very funny

the Phantom guy is living in the past tho . accuracy in vietnam was abysmal

05-26-2007, 08:19 PM
Originally posted by Aimail101:

LoL you couldn't get more wrong on that one.
My girlfriend is going to shop (some dresses and other girly stuff) with her friends there tomorrow http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif at some shopping center.....
For other countries I don't know....
Just.... if she can do it (shopping) you probably can do to http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

But in one I agree: it's pretty wild to go there shop with bunch of woman http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif....... they are just insane with that stuff they can do it all day long.

05-26-2007, 08:25 PM
sounds like things really are the same all over, Kuna

05-26-2007, 08:41 PM
LoL yes... some things are universal http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Women http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/inlove.gif