View Full Version : Excuses for the BLIND guards.

12-31-2010, 11:47 PM
Don't you just feel stupid and not like a real assassin when you are far away from a guard in a restricted area and he is facing you and doesn't respond. Even though you are completely white and all guards are red.

Well here are some excuses for them.

-They aren't paid enough.
-They had a bad day and don't care anymore.
-It's their day before retirement.
-They hate Cesare.
-They have bad eyesight.
-They are daydreaming.
-They learned to sleep with their eyes open.

Feel free to tell more.

12-31-2010, 11:52 PM
all that made them blind

the water system is contaminated

they drank some bad moonshine

they are communications majors.

<span class="ev_code_RED">Please do not bypass the Language Filter.</span>

Xx El Kino xX
12-31-2010, 11:53 PM
-They're going to get laid that night

01-01-2011, 03:13 AM
- They know that if they see Ezio, and chase him, they'll probably die.
- "What, here? An assassin? Don't be ridiculous, Giuseppe... this is a public road! No, those bodies are from... accidents... involving crossbows."
- They're actually just cardboard cut-outs of guards due to cutbacks after SPOILER <span class="ev_code_WHITE">The Banker got killed</span> END SPOILER
- Ezio/Desmond wears zoomy contact lenses so everything appears closer than it really is. When it LOOKS like a guard is just 15 metres away (but not noticing you), he is, in fact, approximately 36,000 miles in front of you -- so of course he can't see you, silly banana!
- "What, there? An assassin? Don't be so silly, Luigi... this is a public road! Would an assassin really be dressed in really obvious assassin clothes? Don't be ridiculous. Now shut up and carry on guarding that empty alleyway."

01-01-2011, 03:27 AM
-Guards are too busing pretending to be squishing people with their hands (by playing with perception).

01-01-2011, 08:46 AM
Their all near sighted and the Pope thought that commissioning the creation of eye glasses and giving them to his guards wouldnt be cost effective and they wouldnt be as scary looking.

01-01-2011, 09:17 AM
they all have terrible balance and are desperately trying to remain static, so they tend not to notice your even there, and even if they do see you they don't want to risk moving.

01-01-2011, 09:59 AM
They have a hangover.
They are sleeping with their eyes closed but painted eyes on their lids.
They are high.

01-01-2011, 10:05 AM
Here's the real reasons. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

1. The guards stay clear because their life insuarance policies don't cover "Death by Assassin."

2. All of the recruits at the Papal Barracks and Academys are dropping out, because they know as soon as they graduate, they're Assassin Fodder. -

SO, to make up for this, Cessare is being forced to hire (at minimum base wage, naturally, and of course, no health plans, insurance or retirement funds) inexperiienced street thugs, who can't tell an Assassin from a wall tapestry.

3. They're too busy thinking about what they're gonna get their kids for their birthdays.

01-01-2011, 10:07 AM
They are actually blind but the pope couldn't be bothered to hire more

01-01-2011, 10:11 AM
They're not guards they're just two midgets made to look like guards.

They all died a long time ago but the pope couldn't be bothered replacing them.

01-01-2011, 01:21 PM
Leonardo decided some Guard shaped wax-figures could brighten up the place.

01-01-2011, 01:51 PM
The guards are actually all on your side (or so they think). You see, when they heard that Ezio Alditore was in Rome, they sent a messenger with a peace offering that they would let him work without them seriously going after him, but that if he got too close to them, did something in front of a patrol, or their supervisor was watching, they would attack, but leaving plenty of ways for him to escape so to avoid attracting attention from the Pope.

Well Ezio unfortunitely never got the letter. You see the messenger had terrible vision and was quite the coward so when he saw someone that he thought was Ezio he handed him the letter and took off fearing that Ezio would stab him before he read the letter. Unfortunitely he did not realize it was actually a white horse that he had handed the letter too who had taken the letter, chewed it up and spat it on the ground waiting for his rider to come out of the cortisan house, ironiclly the rider was Ezio.

The messenger made it back to his local tower and reported that he had made contact and that everything was cool, even adding that Ezio would need their help one day in over throwing the evil borlaga and that they would be seen as heros that liberated Rome.

Unfortunitely, as many of the guards soon discovered, Ezio never recieved the letter and the messenger they sent was never found, having accidently fallen down a well when he saw someone throw a hand full of money in, so the guards couldnt ask if he had indeed given Ezio the letter.

The remaining guards, thinking that the situation could be salvaged if they ambushed Ceasre at a meeting and present his head to Ezio at his hideout were about to strike when Ezio appeared infront of the guard leaders and Ceasre with the Apple.... And now you know, the rest of the story.

And that is why all the guards in Rome not only ignore you until you get really close but also are so easy to escape from.