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Bearcat99
05-10-2006, 06:06 AM
You know it is true.. kids do say the darndest things....

I have the after hours duty for my company this week where I am on call to do service calls. I fix printers. The other night I had a call out and I got home around 2230.... of course my 9 year old son and 15 year old daughter were up waiting for me (even though they were supposed to be in bed.. thier mother was out of town).
Of course my daughter was... what else.... ON THE PHONE.... at 2230... and AOL.. I dont get that one at all.... You are on the phone.... why be online with the same person... anyway...

My son as some of youy may know is my right hand man.. my pride and joy... my wingman... my little buddy... we fly togehter.. toss the ball.. hit the airshows, I cheer him on at his football games... the whole nine. So I come in the door and I see him coming up to me.. and I said, a little annoyed...."Why aren't you in bed?" and he goes... with his eyes wide with excitement and a humongous grin on his face..... "Dad!! Dad!!!! I have hair on my balls!!! Does that mean I'm in puberty now??!!!!!" Well let me tell ya it was a real strain to try to keep a straight face after that one..... so I go.."Really??!! Uhh... well.... I dunno son... let me see the hair.." So we go into his room and he pulls down his pants and shows me the hair.... the fine downey kid hair on his balls.... he says.. "It's kinda light... BUT IT'S HAIR!!!!" and I said... "Uhh well son.. I think this means you're getting close.... really really close...." and hs snaps up his NFL pajamas and yanks his tightly clenched fist down with a sharp jerk.... "YESSSSS!!!!"... I pay him on the back and congratulate him.... and tell him.."Now get your butt in the bed..... " I kiss him goodnight... then I go into my bedroom and close the door and fall to the floor..... what a riot.

Any of you other guys have some kid stories to tell?

Breeze147
05-10-2006, 06:30 AM
If I had a son, he would probably say "Yo, Pops, pass that thang". http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

Megile_
05-10-2006, 06:36 AM
Originally posted by Breeze147:
If I had a son, he would probably say "Yo, Pops, pass that thang". http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

LMAO

+1

carguy_
05-10-2006, 06:38 AM
LOL funny bit and a sweeet story too!

Next thing you know tommorow he will be trying to drive a car heehheh
Even though I have a rather long way to become a father I basicly was the one to raise my younger brother(16year old).Now as a matter of fact Im tryin to tell his little teenage mind that a car is not a toy heheh

I`m begginin to like the role of a father heheh.Piece of cake! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

Freelancer-1
05-10-2006, 06:40 AM
My son on a crowded subway during rush hour at six years old.

"Hey, dad" he yells out, " look, my pen!s is straight!". He reallly wanted to talk about this new found and, I'm sure, facinating thing.

He's standing up and pointing to it in his track pants while my face is getting redder and redder and the other people on the subway are trying not to be too obvious about their laughing.

Kids...

I love 'em but sometimes...

B16Enk
05-10-2006, 06:47 AM
My 10 yr old son had a very similar 'chat' with my wife two or three weeks ago http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

But it's the daughters that come out with nice heart melting stuff.

I came home from work last week, had a bite to eat then ventured out into the garden (yard) to tamp down the newly laid turf (the old wooden board trick with a sledge hammer). It was a warm spring evening and I soon got a sweat up, I was wearing my office clothes as I hadn't actually intended to do anything more than look - you know how it goes!
Anyway, as the sweat built up I took my shirt off and carried on bare chested, after handing my shirt to my 9 yr old daughter.

I had to smile when I heard her say to my 6 yr old daughter 'hey smell dad's shirt, it smells lovely..just like he does'. 6 yr old agreed http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif.

I guess in 3 or 4 years time all boys will be 'nasty smelly things' until the hormones start to do their work. Then I'll have to get the baseball bat down from the loft to impress on any would be suitors that they had better treat my blonde princesses well http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Worf101
05-10-2006, 06:50 AM
Yeah B.C. I've had the same conversation as you but Ian, my son is 12 going on 13. So the convresation about puberty with him is a leetle more urgent. He keeps asking me when his "Balls are gonna drop". I keep saying that "when they do, you'll know it". What scares me is they got little or no sense and NO memory now. What are they gonna be like when all those male hormones are clouding what little brains they had?

Nice story and much love.

Da Worfster

MadRuski
05-10-2006, 07:13 AM
well i dont have any kids yet, but have a little brother which is 9 years younger, hed be 17 now, well i guess i was always his role model and he would always ask me not my father about puberty and girls and one time about condoms LOL, i would always go buy some booze for him (to a certaint extent)if he went to a party at the age of 15, (just like brothers are ment to do that) and ofcourse give him a lecture about how to drink properly, suprisingly he listened to me, but hated my fathers lectures about the same topic... LOL dont get me started on my mothers lectures, , never cigs or drugs (dont do that sh*it and agianst it) so it actuly gives u a great feeling knowing that some one is looking up to u, espechilly when it is ur little bro.

ploughman
05-10-2006, 08:19 AM
That's a cute story there 99, does that make you the HairBear now? http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

U-731
05-10-2006, 08:42 AM
Last weekend I went to a punk concert (NOT for fun, I can tell you -_-*). It went on all night. The morning after there was a group of punks (mohwaks, leather, filth...you know)standing outside enjoying the sun and a beer, when a typical family (mom, dad and two kiddos) walked by. I heard the little girl say to her mom ; 'Look Mom, those people are dressed up as Englishmen!!' Hehe, It made my day, I can tell you ^_^

whiteladder
05-10-2006, 08:48 AM
I have 3 kids 6,5 and 18 months and to quite honest our house in the mornings can be pretty manic. getting to kids dressed, breakfasted, getting ready for work and then off to school/ day care etc...

A couple of weeks ago my wife and I decide to spend the day together, the 2 older kids were going to school and Scarlet the youngest to daycare. So I book a days holiday from work and we made our plans(some shopping, meal out nothing too exciting).

The 3 kids were sitting around the breakfast table and when Lucy noticed I wasn`t getting ready for work she said "Are we staying at home today as well?" I jokingly said "no me and your mum are spending some quality time together".

She turned to her younger brother said "That means they are staying home and having Sex!" which Jack answered with a shrug as if to say"oh well" They both just carried on having their breakfast.

I have to say it stopped me and the wife in our tracks!!!

horseback
05-10-2006, 08:54 AM
A few years ago, I was able to fix up my old triathlon racing bike and decided to start cycling again. I was coming down the stairs in my cycling shorts and a bright dayglo yellow sweatshirt the first afternoon, and my oldest son (age 5 at that time) glances up at me and says "Nice underwear, Dad."

cheers

horseback

Taylortony
05-10-2006, 04:30 PM
If I ever have kids I will sue Durex

Bearcat99
05-10-2006, 04:35 PM
If you ever have kids it will change your outlook on life.

VW-IceFire
05-10-2006, 04:36 PM
I go between home and university...I can't recall the last time I saw someone younger than 17 years old. Sounds like they are funny creatures these "kids" http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

And very verbose too...maybe I lived under a rock or something but I'd never have said any of those things. Never did...not a big deal really.

WarWolfe_1
05-10-2006, 04:41 PM
Few weeks ago me the wife and the kids went to a Local BBQ place. While we are ordering my 4 (almost 5) year old daughter tells the waitress "You have big boobs, but when I'm all grown up mine are going to be bigger than yours, just like my mommas".

I lost it right there, almost dropped my drink and knocked my son out of his chair.

Kids will say the funniest thing when you least want them to.

domenlovrec
05-10-2006, 04:47 PM
Hahaha. http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif I must say i'm ROFLMAO! What a funny stories! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif It's impressive to see other parnets-kids realitons. Since i'm 18 and i'm moving on my own in september (collige). And i'm realy excited about it! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif But i never ever asked anything related to sex (dad or mom) cause I would be sooo embaresed! Funny indeed! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Jester_159th
05-10-2006, 04:59 PM
Well it's not funny, and happened a long time (about 11 years now) ago.

My daughter (who just turned 13 last Friday) was 2 going on 3 at the time my mother died of cancer. Before me and my then wife got divorced we used to go the a steak house in Cape Town (South Africa) quite often since they did good food and catered for kids. The kids always got a helium filled baloon, party pack etc.

This first time we'd been after my mother died we get in the car and my daughter was (unusually) quiet, just staring at this baloon (that looked no different to any others I'd ever seen). We get out of the car at home and she stops in the driveway, turns to me and says,

"Daddy, did Granny like baloons?"

"Yes she did." I replied, not really thinking anything of it.

Next thing I know my daughter lets the baloon go and watches it float of over the rooftops. She refused point blank to move until the baloon was out of site and "on it's way to Granny."

So started a tradition that didn't stop till my (by then) ex-wife brought my daughter back to the UK three years later.

Now I should explain, my daughter was mad about baloons. They were almost her favorite toy. The fact she would so readilly send them off to "Granny in Heaven" always brought a tear to my eye.

To be honest it still does.

HelSqnProtos
05-10-2006, 05:23 PM
S~!

Wow and then we wonder why GD has gone to ****e.

Bearcat was that story really appropriate for a General Discussion thread in Flight Sim forum???

Just a thought http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

Stigler_9_JG52
05-10-2006, 05:50 PM
Too much detail.... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

SeaFireLIV
05-10-2006, 05:54 PM
Originally posted by Stigler_9_JG52:
Too much detail.... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

LoL. I`m slightly in agreement, but it`s all in the best possible taste, of course...

TC_Stele
05-10-2006, 06:25 PM
Ok, I don't have kids, so I can't really take part in this thread. Too many details, yes, and I'll let you dads talk this out. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif

Bearcat99
05-10-2006, 09:21 PM
Originally posted by HelSqnProtos:
S~!
Wow and then we wonder why GD has gone to ****e.
Bearcat was that story really appropriate for a General Discussion thread in Flight Sim forum???
Just a thought http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif


Originally posted by Stigler_9_JG52:
Too much detail.... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif
http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif


Why am I not surprised that out of all the people who would post a negative comment on this you two did...

Aviar
05-10-2006, 09:50 PM
Nevermind, Bearcat. If your story doesn't make people want to have babies, nothing will.

I'm a single guy so I love reading these touching tales.

Great thread.

Aviar

PlaneEater
05-10-2006, 09:59 PM
The first words mine learned were "Uh-oh".

It's gone downhill from there.

I've caught him

--finding trash, remembering the trashcan is under the sink behind the cabinet door, and putting the trash in it

--trying to ride our dog like a horse

--'flying' his airplane off the stairs, making the hollywood style 'diving plane' sound while it sails through the air, and then the appropriate 'crash' sound when it meets the floor

--putting a wineglass that got knocked over outside in the dishwasher inside

--pretending to be asleep so that when I close his bedroom door he can sneak out of bed

--sneaking out of his bed and into my workroom, then using the autodial on my phone to call his mom on her cellphone. MORE THAN ONCE. And he can't even talk properly yet! He knows "Hiii", "uh...", "uh-huh", "okayy", "yeah!", "mama", "go", "GOGOGOGOGO!!", and "byyye". The rest of the conversation (and there's a lot of it) is in his own little language. I'm sure he's saying something specific--just have no clue what.

For reference, he turns 2 tomorrow (5/11). Most of this has been spread over the past year.
Kid's too damn smart for his own good.

HelSqnProtos
05-10-2006, 10:22 PM
Originally posted by Bearcat99:

Why am I not surprised that out of all the people who would post a negative comment on this you two did...

You do realize that your sidestepping the whole propriety issue surrounding the discussion of your son's testicles on a public forum.

But that is no surprise to me knowing YOUR mod style.

Oh well we can scrap it out a MAAM. See you there.

Bearcat99
05-10-2006, 10:50 PM
Well I sure hope you are more pleasent in person than you are on these boards... but I have my doubts.

Actually it never occured to me that anyone would find the post offensive.... It wasnt like I was talking about my testicles... It's a kid thing.... I guess I should have known better than that after all these years on these boards...

BrewsterPilot
05-10-2006, 11:07 PM
I am a kid. . . http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

HelSqnProtos
05-10-2006, 11:15 PM
S~!

Well its not just this post about your son's testicles, I recall another one just about a week or so ago about "you and the wife and how you had 'baptized' every room in the house except for the place where you fly.

Do you really think that we want to know where you have sex with the missus???

If I posted that cr@p wouldn't YOU say something.

As for meeting me at MAAM don't worry, no one is going to be coming up to you -- your not that important. (shocking news to you I am sure)

That Moderator in your avatar doesn't mean squat to me. But if you have a problem you want to discuss face to face I am at your disposal during MAAM.

I am going up in a B17 on Sunday - lets both go and whoever throws the other one out the side gunner port wins http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

BrewsterPilot
05-10-2006, 11:19 PM
http://www.brown-college.org/albums/Brown-College-Art/catfight.sized.gif

-HH-Quazi
05-10-2006, 11:38 PM
I haven't smiled all day, until now. Thanks BC! Just brought back memories of when my son asked the same question. Then the memory of when he decided to shave the hair off and how he itched like crazy as they grew back. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif Boys! They are a trip to raise up! Thanks BC!

buglord
05-10-2006, 11:40 PM
Good & funny story BC , i have two daughters 5 & 3 & a couple of years when my oldest "April" was then about 3 years old and suddenly started snoring at night & was always sniffing her nose & moaning that her nose felt funny so i had a look couldnt see nothing so i took her to the docs , they thought she had bad sinuses , this went on for about 3 months & it was getting worse , went to the docs a few times ,told the same thing again & again so i thought sod this im taking her down the hospital , when they finally took a look at her the doc was proding & poking her nose ,got his torch up there, there was something right up there , when he was taking it out with a long surgical thingy my jaw hit the floor, she had a wine gum (soft sweet)stuck up her nose for over 3 months it looked like something out of an alien film when he was taking it out ,even the doc looked amazed afterwards , amazing how far your nostrals can stretch. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

GAU-8
05-10-2006, 11:41 PM
or he could be called
BIG PAPPA " HAIRY BEAR" cat


that story took balls to bring here....

and apparently it runs in "hairy bears" family http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Low_Flyer_MkVb
05-10-2006, 11:45 PM
Nice story Bearcat. Brought a much needed smile to my face. Love to you and yours.

Bearcat99
05-10-2006, 11:45 PM
Originally posted by HelSqnProtos:
S~!
Well its not just this post about your son's testicles, I recall another one just about a week or so ago about "you and the wife and how you had 'baptized' every room in the house except for the place where you fly.
Do you really think that we want to know where you have sex with the missus???
If I posted that cr@p wouldn't YOU say something.
As for meeting me at MAAM don't worry, no one is going to be coming up to you -- your not that important. (shocking news to you I am sure)
That Moderator in your avatar doesn't mean squat to me. But if you have a problem you want to discuss face to face I am at your disposal during MAAM.
I am going up in a B17 on Sunday - lets both go and whoever throws the other one out the side gunner port wins http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Whew.. well thats a relief... I thought I was really in trouble there for a second... http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

First off.. I dont have the cash for the ride for my son and I .. secondly if I did.. you aren't important enough for me to want to even attempt to toss out of a plane after paying a few hundred bucks for a short ride..... besides I gave all that stupid kiddy cr@p up n my wild and recklless youth....... thirdly... I let a lot of stuff roll by in here in case you havent noticed... so if it were you who posted just about anything I have posted.. especially over the past few months I would most likely shake my head and laugh at it or ignore it... like I try to do with most of your posts since they are usually so confrontational... and as far as a face to face discussion..... I really dont have anything to say to you.. especially if you are as chipper as you seem from most of your posts... that kind of joy I just dont need when Im trying to have a good time... and no it is NOT a shock to me that I really am not important enough for you to approach me at an airshow........and yes I do know that the "Moderator" in my avatar doesnt mean squat to you... in the bigger scheme of things it doesnt mean much period.. this is after all just a game forum... I dont know how seriously you think I take all this.. but it puts no food on my table or money in my pocket and gives me a lot of grief at times... so I only let it go but so far on my relevence meter.

JG5_UnKle
05-10-2006, 11:52 PM
Ignore the Nimrods BC http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/10.gif

Good post - keep the stories coming http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Xiolablu3
05-11-2006, 12:37 AM
Hehe Great story, thanks for posting.

Hope that Protos fool gets banned soon, I have experienced first hand just what a tit he is.

Safe to say I could post some very funny ranting pms from him here.. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

HotelBushranger
05-11-2006, 12:46 AM
Take no notice of him Hairy Bear, i't's people like him who make the world PC http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/10.gif

I must say even as a teen myself I LMAO at these stories. Shameful to think that I probably did the same thing to my own parents only a few years ago http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blush.gif

MadRuski
05-11-2006, 12:52 AM
Originally posted by Bearcat99:
W

Actually it never occured to me that anyone would find the post offensive....

i actuly didnt find it offensive or abnormal, lol as i read that part i just raised my head in surprise and thought nothing of it, comon HelSqnProtos, dont start any arguments in this thread, its nice thread, if u dont like it then dont visit it, dont ruin it for all of us by arguing like a ****** about something that an obveously loving father had said.

NHawk52
05-11-2006, 01:12 AM
Man, I'm loving these stories and having some greatly needed belly laughs - for two particular reasons. Firstly, because it shows me that the guys in here are acutally normal and don't take their games so seriously that they have no time for real life; and secondly because I am a single father of a 9yo boy, myself. I just got him back from "the ex" a year and half ago after a four years and we're still going thru the stages of his striving to impress me (boy, do I HOPE that can last for another 10 years! lol). No good stories as yet - things are still "more fucused and serious" while I try to catch up and he tries to find his inner sense of security. It's tough being a single dad of a preteen at 54yo, believe me!

civildog
05-11-2006, 01:13 AM
I don€t have any boys; I have 3 girls who are 12,10,and 6 €" a perfect range for amusing anecdotes. A few are:

The youngest inconsolably in tears when she was told that she could never be a horse when she grows up no matter how hard she tries to be one. Not even if she makes a wish with a €œwish flower€ (what she calls dandelions).

The middle one saying with grave seriousness to my division commander at the Sheriff€s office that she wanted to be a €œpolicegirl€ when she grows up so she can €œbeat up bad guys like my daddy does.€ Ahh, how the chest swells at times like that!

When my oldest was around 5 my wife brought her to the Sheriff€s office to pick me up after work one night. The new SO has a huge 3 story marble atrium in the entrance that picks up and magnifies the tiniest echo. That night I walked across the atrium to my family with a co-worker who was , rather em, large, and my daughter said in the clear voice peculiar to young children, €œLook how fat he is, Momma!€ I think the magnified echo went around the atrium 3 times!

HelSqnProtos
05-11-2006, 01:15 AM
S~!

And here comes the teenybopper brigade. Xiolablu you shouldn't use words like tit till you actually have held one in real life. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

HotelBushranger
05-11-2006, 01:17 AM
And I suppose you have years of experience too? By god, if you are a father (or mother http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif) then I really feel for your kid/s http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

HelSqnProtos
05-11-2006, 01:22 AM
Originally posted by HotelBushranger:
And I suppose you have years of experience too? By god, if you are a father (or mother http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif) then I really feel for your kid/s http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

.........said the pimply faced 13year old. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

civildog
05-11-2006, 01:22 AM
Originally posted by HelSqnProtos:
"S~!
Well its not just this post about your son's testicles, I recall another one just about a week or so ago about "you and the wife and how you had 'baptized' every room in the house except for the place where you fly.
Do you really think that we want to know where you have sex with the missus???"

You know HelSqnProtos, if it's ok with Bearcat I can post some pics of me and my wife having sex for you. I mean, if you are really into that sort of thing I don't see why we can't accomodate your needs. We are a pretty warm and giving group here.

Or we can talk about my testicles if you'd prefer, instead of his son's. While mine are fairly ordinary in shape, they are somewhat large and pretty hairy so they might not make for the best subject among polite company, but you sound like you might be interested.

MadRuski
05-11-2006, 01:30 AM
Originally posted by HelSqnProtos:
S~!
till you actually have held a tit in real life. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

urs dont count HelSqnProtos, and loosing ur virginity to ur left or right hand doesant count either.

HotelBushranger
05-11-2006, 01:31 AM
Originally posted by HelSqnProtos:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by HotelBushranger:
And I suppose you have years of experience too? By god, if you are a father (or mother http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif) then I really feel for your kid/s http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif

.........said the pimply faced 13year old. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

With a helluva lot of more respect that then the 26 yr old dickhead.

civildog
05-11-2006, 01:43 AM
Here's a happy girl and her pony to get us Dads back on track!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/civildog/Happy.jpg

HotelBushranger
05-11-2006, 01:58 AM
Her tooth's missing http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/blink.gif

BrewsterPilot
05-11-2006, 02:17 AM
http://www.landroverclub.net/Club/Technic/Maintenance/Coolant_reservoir1.jpg

http://air.irco.com/_imgLibrary/ultra_plus_coolant.jpg

http://sts.synflood.de/dump/fun/normal_ban_him.jpg

BrewsterPilot
05-11-2006, 02:19 AM
http://raw360.com/media/1/20040102-sp20030730%20-%20LOL.gif

Adam906
05-11-2006, 02:51 AM
I don't have kids myself (one of me is bad enough, without the stress of a miniture carbon copy!) but a little while I ago I was downtown with my other half and her 5 year old cousin who has pure speed running through his veins. This kid never stops, he's like the energizer bunny! My partner and I were supposed to be heading out to a swish party that night and Kell decided she needed some new shoes. (Pause while the audience groans in sympathy) Anyway, this kid just kept on about doing this or that when finally he ran off looking at something, when I tried to call him back he said, "just give me one more sec." Now I'm pretty patient but even I have my limits, so in a fit of annoyance I screamed out at him that he had had enough "Secs." today and that he should come this instant.

It was like watching a car wreck in slow motion. The missus went banannas, the kid wanted to know what he'd done that was so funny (with all the adrenalin that created, this sent him off an another wall climbing expedition) all the people around me either fall over themselves in fits of laughter or disgust, depending upon how anal and/or PC they are, while I stood there wondering if it really was my mouth those words had fallen out of.

Later that afternon, the missus once again talking to me, though in the low agitated clucking tones of the criminally insane, I'd reached boiling point. This kid had humiliated me, the missus was convinced I was a kangaroo short in the top paddock, and I'd seen about as many high-heeled shoes as I ever care to see in my lifetime when the kid tried it on again. This time, he turned on a tantrum when I tried to discipline him, so instead of taking the adult option, I had a tantrum at his tantrum. Well it shut this little bugger up, but it also showed him what security guards do to adults who seem unbalanced and about to blow a fuse in a major shopping department in the centre of Sydney....

Feathered_IV
05-11-2006, 03:18 AM
Nothing like a good community based post http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

Funny as hell too. I will look forward to the day Bearcat99_JR registers on this forum. I'll have to save this thread to favourites and give it a bump http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

"Mom!!! Dads talking about my balls on the internet!!!"

HotelBushranger
05-11-2006, 04:07 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif Adam, that's a beaut story!

Lucius_Esox
05-11-2006, 04:46 AM
Great story Bearcat,, made me smile anyway http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

I've got a 7yr old daughter (going on 45). One day we are waiting in a que to pay for some petrol. She aks for some sweets, I say no, she doesn't like it..

Next thing she asks in a loud voice "have you farted Dad" Argggg.. Said in a very convincing sweet innocent way. I can't help myself and start laughing thinking nice one kid,, way to go lol. Everyone looking sideways at me. I say no,, so she says "it must be the woman in front then" http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/35.gif

Hmm,, Wierd thing being her dad I admired her confidence and at the same time thought "you wait till we get outside madam"

http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Jester_159th
05-11-2006, 04:46 AM
Originally posted by HotelBushranger:
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif Adam, that's a beaut story!

http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/agreepost.gif

I haven't laughed so much for a long time.

WarWolfe_1
05-11-2006, 05:48 AM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

Bearcat99
05-11-2006, 06:20 AM
Originally posted by Xiolablu3:
Hehe Great story, thanks for posting.
Hope that Protos fool gets banned soon, I have experienced first hand just what a tit he is.
Safe to say I could post some very funny ranting pms from him here.. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/34.gif

While I appreciate the sentiment there is no need for the name calling.... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif and there is nothing to ban him about.

Adam906
05-11-2006, 06:44 AM
Oh boy.....quick someone tell a story about their kids before this all escalates!

PLEASE don't let's gett off topic here I'm enjoying reading all these stories too much!

HotelBushranger
05-11-2006, 06:47 AM
Or we could just kick Protos outta here http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/59.gif

Xiolablu3, that stuff is hilarious!!!

Xiolablu3
05-11-2006, 07:18 AM
Awww, someone deleted the stuff I posted.. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

PBNA-Boosher
05-11-2006, 07:21 AM
Well, thankfully I have no kids yet, (18) but let's hope I make it to that age.

When my sister was little, I think when she was 5, my dad took her into the city to work with him on "bring your daughter to work day" or something. They parked at the lot for the Hoboken train station, and on the train my dad started explaining the subway route to NYC. He explained,
"Very soon we'll be going under water, under the Hudson River."

My sister's eyes welled up with tears and she started wailing. My dad had no idea what was wrong, so he asked. My sister said, "I didn't bring my bathing-suit!"

96th_Nightshifter
05-11-2006, 07:45 AM
lmao - great thread.

Every morning my Son (he's "three and three quarters" by the way http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif ) wakes me up - usually by jumping on me and shouting "wake up, wake up, wake up..............." and so on until I in fact "wake up".

Last week though lol was particularly funny, I am semi-awake and feel him instead of jumping onto the bed, slowly creeping onto the bed (I let him think I was asleep, don't want to ruin it for him lol). All of a sudden I hear him breathing really loudly in a sort of scary way, I slowly open my eyes to find him standing over me with a toy lightsabre pointing at my throat and he says "Wake up or feel the power of the Dark side" the breathing was him trying to be like Darth Vader; Oh how I laughed http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Bearcat99
05-11-2006, 07:48 AM
Originally posted by Xiolablu3:
Awww, someone deleted the stuff I posted.. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Yeah well.... Im trying to be "fair and impartial.." so help me out will ya... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/halo.gif


Originally posted by 96th_Nightshifter:
lmao - great thread.

Every morning my Son (he's "three and three quarters" by the way http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif ) wakes me up - usually by jumping on me and shouting "wake up, wake up, wake up..............." and so on until I in fact "wake up".

Last week though lol was particularly funny, I am semi-awake and feel him instead of jumping onto the bed, slowly creeping onto the bed (I let him think I was asleep, don't want to ruin it for him lol). All of a sudden I hear him breathing really loudly in a sort of scary way, I slowly open my eyes to find him standing over me with a toy lightsabre pointing at my throat and he says "Wake up or feel the power of the Dark side" the breathing was him trying to be like Darth Vader; Oh how I laughed http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

LMAO.....

Xiolablu3
05-11-2006, 08:01 AM
Rgr, sorry about that.

HotelBushranger
05-11-2006, 08:06 AM
Last week though lol was particularly funny, I am semi-awake and feel him instead of jumping onto the bed, slowly creeping onto the bed (I let him think I was asleep, don't want to ruin it for him lol). All of a sudden I hear him breathing really loudly in a sort of scary way, I slowly open my eyes to find him standing over me with a toy lightsabre pointing at my throat and he says "Wake up or feel the power of the Dark side" the breathing was him trying to be like Darth Vader; Oh how I laughed

Lol!!! http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif Oh man you almost had me in tears http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/88.gif

willyvic
05-11-2006, 01:19 PM
Great read all. Thanks! Made my morning.

WV.

marc_hawkins
05-11-2006, 03:32 PM
Well, no sprogs of my own so far, but my friends are popping them out now and i have the pleasure of second hand classics such as a two year old saying 'cuckoo clock' repeatedly but with out the 'L' if you catch my drift.. http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/winky.gif

I'm beginning to like children.

TC_Stele
05-11-2006, 05:22 PM
Originally posted by Bearcat99:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by HelSqnProtos:
S~!
Wow and then we wonder why GD has gone to ****e.
Bearcat was that story really appropriate for a General Discussion thread in Flight Sim forum???
Just a thought http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif


Originally posted by Stigler_9_JG52:
Too much detail.... http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/51.gif
http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif


Why am I not surprised that out of all the people who would post a negative comment on this you two did... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sorry, I'm not trying to be negative, but I can't really relate like some of the other dads here can. I'm sure its great to see your son growing up, but I can't appreciate it like you, nor will I pretend to, since I'm not a dad.

Cheers.

rugame
05-11-2006, 06:18 PM
http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/10.gif The good thing about thoughts are that they can be kept to ones self......

Great stories here guys thanks for the reading over my coffee http://forums.ubi.com/images/smilies/25.gif

LeOs.K_Walstein
05-11-2006, 06:38 PM
I have one good one! My younger son was 3 years and one day I was lying down on sofa taking nap. He had taken poop and right after that he came to me and sat on my forehead. It was "nice" to wake up realizing that - of course - I had to take him back to bathroom to clean his but! http://forums.ubi.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Sh...t happens!,
Wallstein

LStarosta
05-11-2006, 07:46 PM
Dumkopf kids.