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View Full Version : This explains it.....



Bearcat99
09-16-2004, 08:34 PM
http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/88.gif (http://acompletewasteofspace.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=31980)

http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif (http://acompletewasteofspace.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=31995)

Theres more.. but I have to clean my monitor now cause I just spit my beer.... after reading this.....

1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.

5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer, please, and one for the road."

8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."

10. Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true! No bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at, either.

12. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

13. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed...is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

15. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

16. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said,
"No, the steaks are too high."

18. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

19. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.

20. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

<UL TYPE=SQUARE>http://www.jodavidsmeyer.com/combat/bookstore/tuskegeebondposter.jpg (http://www.tuskegeeairmen.org)[/list]<UL TYPE=SQUARE>vflyer@comcast.net [/list]<UL TYPE=SQUARE>99thPursuit Squadron IL2 Forgotten Battles (http://www.geocities.com/rt_bearcat)[/list]
Sturmovik Essentials (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums?a=tpc&s=400102&f=23110283&m=51910959)
IMMERSION BABY!!

[This message was edited by Bearcat99 on Thu September 16 2004 at 07:44 PM.]

Bearcat99
09-16-2004, 08:34 PM
http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/88.gif (http://acompletewasteofspace.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=31980)

http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif (http://acompletewasteofspace.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=31995)

Theres more.. but I have to clean my monitor now cause I just spit my beer.... after reading this.....

1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar and one was a salted.

5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer, please, and one for the road."

8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."

10. Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true! No bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at, either.

12. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

13. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed...is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

15. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

16. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said,
"No, the steaks are too high."

18. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

19. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.

20. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

<UL TYPE=SQUARE>http://www.jodavidsmeyer.com/combat/bookstore/tuskegeebondposter.jpg (http://www.tuskegeeairmen.org)[/list]<UL TYPE=SQUARE>vflyer@comcast.net [/list]<UL TYPE=SQUARE>99thPursuit Squadron IL2 Forgotten Battles (http://www.geocities.com/rt_bearcat)[/list]
Sturmovik Essentials (http://forums.ubi.com/eve/forums?a=tpc&s=400102&f=23110283&m=51910959)
IMMERSION BABY!!

[This message was edited by Bearcat99 on Thu September 16 2004 at 07:44 PM.]

Kasdeya
09-16-2004, 08:34 PM
LOL

http://img61.photobucket.com/albums/v186/Kasdeya/demonmoving.gif (http://www.361stvfg.com/)
CWoS Forums. More Cheese, Less Whine (http://acompletewasteofspace.com/forum/index.php)

adlabs6
09-16-2004, 09:17 PM
Heheh

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Maple_Tiger
09-16-2004, 09:19 PM
Thems was very funny.

Thanks Bearcat.



A P-47 flys into a bar.

Capt. 361stMapleTiger.
http://img52.photobucket.com/albums/v158/Maple_Tiger/FBAA2.gif
Proud member of the FBAA and Nutty Philosohpy Club.
-----------------------------
The more less you'r travelling, the further back in time you go.


I am hear,
but not quite there.
I am near,
Come if you dare.

S 8
09-16-2004, 10:33 PM
Started my morning with a few laugh.Can only get worse now http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-happy.gif

DD_NL
09-16-2004, 11:19 PM
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

http://home.tiscali.nl/ddonline/IL-2/Hurricane-Logo.jpg

WTE_Galway
09-16-2004, 11:32 PM
Then there was the dyslexic Priest who wondered if their was really a Dog and sold his soul to Santa

woofiedog
09-17-2004, 02:56 AM
http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-happy.gifhttp://www.bobandtom.com/gen3/8cover_img/pms.jpg

http://www.bobandtom.com/gen3/5cover_img/friendly_skies.jpg

http://www.bobandtom.com/frames/photo_of_the_day/***mi.jpg


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/woofiedog/WOOFIEDOG.jpg