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XyZspineZyX
03-27-2003, 11:57 PM
Hey everyone..i have to M.C. a wedding and i was wondering if anyone knows any good jokes appropriate for such an occasion...(nuttin dirty tho')--me mudder will be there and she'll kill me!
Wedding's not until Sept. but i want to get on the ball early

thx





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Message Edited on 09/08/0309:31PM by rennick

XyZspineZyX
03-27-2003, 11:57 PM
Hey everyone..i have to M.C. a wedding and i was wondering if anyone knows any good jokes appropriate for such an occasion...(nuttin dirty tho')--me mudder will be there and she'll kill me!
Wedding's not until Sept. but i want to get on the ball early

thx





http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/377397/answer3.jpg




http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/377397/why.gif


Message Edited on 09/08/0309:31PM by rennick

XyZspineZyX
03-28-2003, 12:03 AM
A French guy and an American are talking to each other. . . the French guy says, "In France, we have 100 ways to make love to a woman!"

The American says, "In America, we have only one. The man on top and the woman on bottom."

The French guy replies, "Mon Dieu! (My God) One Hundred AND One!"

We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility, It's easy to say "It's not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem."

Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.

XyZspineZyX
04-09-2003, 11:18 AM
Haha - you may then add this saying about the French:

Frenchmen get up in the middle of the night.
10% to go to the bathroom and 90% to go home.

http://home20.inet.tele.dk/famjourdan/GRsig.jpg


Message Edited on 04/09/0311:20AM by GreyHaired

XyZspineZyX
04-11-2003, 12:40 AM
If you want somethin clean go to www.jokes.com (http://www.jokes.com). The French have far too much time on their hands. They can make hundreds of kinds of cheese an wine, not to mention millions of kinds of bread.

http://www.barrettrifles.com/images/model82A1.jpg


bazooka, "when they absolutely positively gotta die," Bambo

Praise the lord and pass the ammunition

XyZspineZyX
04-11-2003, 12:43 AM
not to mention ticklers/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-surprised.gif





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http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/377397/why.gif


Message Edited on 09/08/0309:32PM by rennick

XyZspineZyX
04-16-2003, 12:06 PM
Make sure to finish off your speech/joke session with a toast.

Get all the men in the room to stand and raise their glasses. Have them repeat after you.

"Here's to our wives and lovers...may they never meet."

Finish with that. Always leave on a high note. /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
~H.L. Mencken~


http://www.msnusers.com/mypicture?user=4263~4AAAFAAAACS*2XO1HtIKAgOEyGbJSW nRuENwfXRiNPXS17BFzhfADL!w$$~4AAAGAAAAEnK7qQHvWGY1 DY!MoJXs0TcVZszyFfBQfJLc$

XyZspineZyX
04-17-2003, 12:08 AM
/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif ROFLMAO...that is good thanx...maybe i'll try to work that in somewhere/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif /i/smilies/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif





http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/377397/answer3.jpg




http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/377397/why.gif


Message Edited on 09/08/0309:33PM by rennick

XyZspineZyX
09-08-2003, 09:20 PM
wedding is this weekend........anyone been to a wedding this summer and heard a funny...clean joke? much appreciated...thanks





http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/377397/answer3.jpg




http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/377397/why.gif


Message Edited on 09/08/0309:34PM by rennick

XyZspineZyX
09-08-2003, 11:02 PM
i went to one just last month...the mc was drunk though so he hadnt a clue what he was talking about...,

<font face="engravers mt" size="0" color="550000">-Matt
<center>http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/159002/sega_dreamcast.jpeg
<font face="century gothic" size="0" color="001100">I want my dreamcast back</center>

XyZspineZyX
09-09-2003, 01:36 AM
ok...tip #1...don't be drunk./i/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif ....got it!





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http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/377397/why.gif

XyZspineZyX
09-09-2003, 01:44 AM
lol...i do remember that he had words scribbled on his hand and as a joke he wiped the sweat off his forehead and then said "darn i knew i should have used better ink"....somtin like that...it did get a few laughs though...

<font face="engravers mt" size="0" color="550000">-Matt
<center>http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-4/159002/DS.jpg</center>


Message Edited on 09/08/0308:48PM by Claudeboy88