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View Full Version : Open message to Oleg: Blackpool..... Ah the nostalgia!



Had_Beans
06-12-2004, 05:17 PM
Hearing that the National European Flightsim Show is going to be held in Blackpool with Oleg in attendance brings a nostalgic tear to the eye.

Ah Blackpool.... Kiss me quick hats, the Blackpool Tower, Pleasure Beach, The pier... tacky, tawdry, loud and racous... I loved it all as a kid.

Reminded me of the famous monologue (hope this translates for our American cousins):

The Lion and Albert

There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool
That's noted for fresh-air and fun
And Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom
Went there with young Albert their son

A grand little lad was young Albert
All dressed in his best quite a swell
With a stick with an horses head handle
The finest that Woolworths could sell

They didn't think much to the ocean
The waves were all 'spiddlin' and small
There were no wrecks, and nobody drownded
Fact nothing to laugh at at all

So seeking for further amusement
They paid and went into the zoo
Where they'd lions and tigers and camels
And old ale and sandwiches too

There were one great big lion called Wallace
His nose were all covered with scars
He lay in a somnolent posture
With the side of his face on the bars

Now Albert had heard about lions
How they were ferocious and wild
To see Wallace lying so peaceful
Well it didn't seem right to the child

So straight way the brave little fella
Not showing a morsel of fear
Took his stick with his horses head handle
And pushed it in Wallace's ear

You could see that the lion didn't like it
By giving a kind of a roll
He pulled Albert inside the cage with him
And swallowed the little lad whole

Then Pa who had seen the occurrence
And didn't know what to do next
Said, "Mother! Yon lion's ate Albert."
And Mother said, "Well I am vexed."

Then Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom
Quite rightly when all's said and done
Complained to the animal keeper
That the lion had eaten their son

The keeper were quite nice about it
He said, "What a nasty mishap."
"Are you sure that its your boy he's eaten?"
Pa said, "Am I sure, there's his cap."

The manager had to be sent for
He came and he said, "Whats to do!"
Pa said, "Yon lion's ate Albert!"
"And him in his Sunday clothes too."

Then Mother said, "Right's right young fella."
"I think its a shame and a sin."
"For a lion to go and eat Albert."
"And after we'd paid to come in."

The manager wanted no trouble
He took out his purse right away
Saying, "How much to settle the matter?"
And Pa said, "What do you usually pay?"

But Mother had turned a bit awkward
When she thought where her Albert had gone
She said, "No! Someone's got to be summonsed
So that was decided upon.

Then off they went to the Police Station
In front of the magistrate chap
They told him what happened to Albert
And proved it by showing his cap

The magistrate gave his opinion
"That no one was really to blame."
And he said, "That he hoped the Ramsbottoms."
"Would have further sons to their name."

At that Mother got proper blazing
"And thank you sir kindly." said she
"What waste all our lives raising children."
"To feed ruddy lions. Not me!"


Have a good time in Blackpool Oleg and don't go poking any lions.

Regards from Bean (now citizen of Australia)

Had_Beans
06-12-2004, 05:17 PM
Hearing that the National European Flightsim Show is going to be held in Blackpool with Oleg in attendance brings a nostalgic tear to the eye.

Ah Blackpool.... Kiss me quick hats, the Blackpool Tower, Pleasure Beach, The pier... tacky, tawdry, loud and racous... I loved it all as a kid.

Reminded me of the famous monologue (hope this translates for our American cousins):

The Lion and Albert

There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool
That's noted for fresh-air and fun
And Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom
Went there with young Albert their son

A grand little lad was young Albert
All dressed in his best quite a swell
With a stick with an horses head handle
The finest that Woolworths could sell

They didn't think much to the ocean
The waves were all 'spiddlin' and small
There were no wrecks, and nobody drownded
Fact nothing to laugh at at all

So seeking for further amusement
They paid and went into the zoo
Where they'd lions and tigers and camels
And old ale and sandwiches too

There were one great big lion called Wallace
His nose were all covered with scars
He lay in a somnolent posture
With the side of his face on the bars

Now Albert had heard about lions
How they were ferocious and wild
To see Wallace lying so peaceful
Well it didn't seem right to the child

So straight way the brave little fella
Not showing a morsel of fear
Took his stick with his horses head handle
And pushed it in Wallace's ear

You could see that the lion didn't like it
By giving a kind of a roll
He pulled Albert inside the cage with him
And swallowed the little lad whole

Then Pa who had seen the occurrence
And didn't know what to do next
Said, "Mother! Yon lion's ate Albert."
And Mother said, "Well I am vexed."

Then Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom
Quite rightly when all's said and done
Complained to the animal keeper
That the lion had eaten their son

The keeper were quite nice about it
He said, "What a nasty mishap."
"Are you sure that its your boy he's eaten?"
Pa said, "Am I sure, there's his cap."

The manager had to be sent for
He came and he said, "Whats to do!"
Pa said, "Yon lion's ate Albert!"
"And him in his Sunday clothes too."

Then Mother said, "Right's right young fella."
"I think its a shame and a sin."
"For a lion to go and eat Albert."
"And after we'd paid to come in."

The manager wanted no trouble
He took out his purse right away
Saying, "How much to settle the matter?"
And Pa said, "What do you usually pay?"

But Mother had turned a bit awkward
When she thought where her Albert had gone
She said, "No! Someone's got to be summonsed
So that was decided upon.

Then off they went to the Police Station
In front of the magistrate chap
They told him what happened to Albert
And proved it by showing his cap

The magistrate gave his opinion
"That no one was really to blame."
And he said, "That he hoped the Ramsbottoms."
"Would have further sons to their name."

At that Mother got proper blazing
"And thank you sir kindly." said she
"What waste all our lives raising children."
"To feed ruddy lions. Not me!"


Have a good time in Blackpool Oleg and don't go poking any lions.

Regards from Bean (now citizen of Australia)

Taylortony
06-12-2004, 06:03 PM
yep I remember it to from days of old, Blackpool station north with the cool steam train display case http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif and on the beach watching the Jobbies float ashore as you paddle.... Cringe http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif Donkey rides, Great big sugar dummies, urgh...kiss me quick hats, hot fish and chips lashed with salt and vinegar, ahh then my teens, streaking across the prominade and skinny dipping in the middle of blackpool lol, not a pretty site and we all only did it once...(promise), with another 6 mates, the beer keller and watching my vomit float out to sea in dawns early light...... ahhh sigh..........Oleg, you will get home and start raising funds for the new Berlin wall http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gifafter Blackpool

Had_Beans
06-12-2004, 06:07 PM
You actually swam in there??? *shudder*

Taylortony
06-12-2004, 06:54 PM
paddled till i saw the floaters then i beat a retreat to the beach

Had_Beans
06-12-2004, 07:03 PM
They call them "Bondi Cigars" in Sydney...

Here in sunny Queensland we don't get floating turds except when the politicians are in town.

Scragbat
06-12-2004, 07:28 PM
Nice grub at the 'Beach Comber' http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

Any of you been to Louis Tussauds there? It's amazing how they manage to get the waxworks to look absolutely nothing like the people they're supposed to be. Really, it's quite remarkable LOL

Oh, and how many of you as kids thought that every other electricity pylon on the motorway was Blackpool Tower on the way there? Haha

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[This message was edited by Scragbat on Sun June 13 2004 at 04:51 AM.]

JG52_Helgstrand
06-12-2004, 07:31 PM
Don't forget this...
http://img38.photobucket.com/albums/v117/Helgstrand/BlackpoolRock.jpg

Hptm.Helgstrand
JG52 Recruiting Officer
JG52 The Butcherbirds (http://www.geocities.com/jg52thebutcherbirds/)
http://img38.photobucket.com/albums/v117/Helgstrand/JG52_Sig_copy_02.jpg

horseback
06-12-2004, 07:48 PM
A note from one of your American cousins: I just imagined it being read by John Cleese-I'm still wiping tears of laughter from me eyes!

cheers

horseback

"Here's your new Mustangs, boys. You can learn to fly'em on the way to the target. Cheers!" -LTCOL Don Blakeslee, 4th FG CO, February 27th, 1944

Had_Beans
06-12-2004, 08:29 PM
Horseback

Try it with the accent of the fat bloke from "The Full Monty" and you will be somewhere near......

Had_Beans
06-12-2004, 08:31 PM
Where are you from Scragbat?

I remember the electricity pylon too well....

Scragbat
06-13-2004, 05:46 AM
From Birmingham m8, and can I say my accent is nothing like it is portrayed in 'The Grimleys' (http://www.phill.co.uk/comedy/grimleys/) LOL

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Extreme_One
06-13-2004, 05:50 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Scragbat:
From Birmingham m8, and can I say my accent is nothing like it is portrayed in http://www.phill.co.uk/comedy/grimleys/ LOL

http://www.appy55.dsl.pipex.com/FB/squigsig.gif
http://www.appy55.dsl.pipex.com<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I grew up in Birmingham - well Solihull - what area are you from?

S! Simon
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''
Download the USAAF & RAF campaign folders here (http://www.netwings.org/library/Forgotten_Battles/Missions/index-10.html).

Download "North and South" including the Japanese speech-pack here (http://www.netwings.org/library/Forgotten_Battles/Missions/index-12.html). *NEW*

http://server5.uploadit.org/files/simplysimon-Ex_1_sig.jpg

Monty_Thrud
06-13-2004, 05:56 AM
LOL!...Taylortony & Scragbat...yes i remember http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-happy.gif....although Blackpools sea and beach have been cleaned up now it certainly hasnt inland, i frequent a rock night club called The Tache and some of the sights you just wouldnt http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/blink.gifbelieve http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif.
Anyhow, heres a link to the event Blackpool Airport (http://www.fs2004nationalshow.com/index_showlocation.php) going to try and make it as i only live 5 miles from Blackpool

http://www.uploadit.org/bsamania/Huzzy_no_ordnance03.jpg
"#2 Attack that ship".."#1..with what?".."#2 your ordnance DAMMIT!".."#1 my ordnance is in Olegs office, same place yours is".."#2 we'd better learn German then"

Scragbat
06-13-2004, 05:57 AM
Bordesley, not far from the Blues ground.

I must say that I actually love Blackpool, I went there last year with my partner and have been regularly for many years. The touts are becoming a bit of a problem. In your face all the time. Hope Oleg doesn't run into them.

Unfortunately I won't get a chance to see Oleg this year though. Hope he's not too upset http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

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Extreme_One
06-13-2004, 06:01 AM
Bordesley. Nice area http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Do you own a pit-bull by any chance?

Only kidding mate http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

S! Simon
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''
Download the USAAF & RAF campaign folders here (http://www.netwings.org/library/Forgotten_Battles/Missions/index-10.html).

Download "North and South" including the Japanese speech-pack here (http://www.netwings.org/library/Forgotten_Battles/Missions/index-12.html). *NEW*

http://server5.uploadit.org/files/simplysimon-Ex_1_sig.jpg

Scragbat
06-13-2004, 06:07 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Extreme_One:
Bordesley. Nice area http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Do you own a pit-bull by any chance?

Only kidding mate http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

_S! Simon_<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Don't be ridiculous! I have a Rottweiler called 'Tyson' LMAO.
I'm actually in a nice part of Bordesley. You have to look really hard to find it haha http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif

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Scragbat's Forgotten Battles Virtual Movies (http://www.appy55.dsl.pipex.com)

Extreme_One
06-13-2004, 06:14 AM
I got stranded in Bordelsy one night after a lock-in at some pub (I can't remember which) and there were no taxis available for a couple of hours. I went to the nearest taxi-office pretending to be ill and needing the hospital so the taxi cotroller diverted one of his booked cabs to me and a mate instead. Of course half-way through the journey I had a miraculous recovery.

S! Simon
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''
Download the USAAF & RAF campaign folders here (http://www.netwings.org/library/Forgotten_Battles/Missions/index-10.html).

Download "North and South" including the Japanese speech-pack here (http://www.netwings.org/library/Forgotten_Battles/Missions/index-12.html). *NEW*

http://server5.uploadit.org/files/simplysimon-Ex_1_sig.jpg