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Snow_Wolf_
04-21-2004, 12:38 PM
These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow at all ?(UK)
A: We import plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroadtracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed >Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, >Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big >country to your North. Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in >Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. . . Oh, forget >it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in >Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, we don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can >sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than >the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night-clubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget it's name. It's a kind of big >horse with horns.(USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone >walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine >before you go out walking.

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying >in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.


My lord there are allot of dumb people in the world http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/351.gif

http://www.cc.jyu.fi/~jtsiekki/mono2.gif

Snow_Wolf_
04-21-2004, 12:38 PM
These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow at all ?(UK)
A: We import plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroadtracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed >Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, >Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big >country to your North. Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in >Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. . . Oh, forget >it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in >Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, we don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can >sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than >the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night-clubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget it's name. It's a kind of big >horse with horns.(USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone >walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine >before you go out walking.

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying >in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.


My lord there are allot of dumb people in the world http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/351.gif

http://www.cc.jyu.fi/~jtsiekki/mono2.gif

TgD Thunderbolt56
04-21-2004, 01:05 PM
*whew* Got a good laugh out of that one. Thx Wolf

p.s. That sig from "princess mononoke"? It looks familiar.



http://home.earthlink.net/~aclzkim1/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/il2sig2.jpg

H.Keller
04-21-2004, 01:12 PM
That's great. http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-very-happy.gif
Can't wait for the Hippo races this Saturday at the Skydome. I just have to remember not to leave the fire burning when I leave my igloo this time, last weekend it melted and fell over and crushed my sled and dog team. http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/16x16_smiley-wink.gif

http://data.photodump.com/Keller/signature4il2.jpg

Zatorski
04-21-2004, 01:13 PM
You forgot one:

Can I have my change in real money?

http://en.wikipedia.org/upload/2/24/Mosquito.inflight.250pix.jpg

VW-IceFire
04-21-2004, 01:20 PM
I like the last one about learning to speak the language. Thats great!

Ok everyone 'Z' is pronounced 'Zed'.

Ooooh boy. I love these things. I wonder if they are real and then I get asked such a question and I laugh, shake my head, and try and answer them as seriously as possible.

http://home.cogeco.ca/~cczerneda/sigs/tmv-sig1.jpg
RCAF 412 Falcon Squadron - "Swift to Avenge"

IL2Canuck
04-21-2004, 01:23 PM
...never mind all that...why isn't the Arrow in IL2? I sit here in MY igloo throwing cans of beer to my pet polar bear while watching hockey pondering all this. Later I'll take a drive on my snowmobile to EB to look for BoE add-on for IL2 FB... The northern edition...always winter...and..."Eh?" is added to all the voices of the pilots...for on-line play, if someone cheats or acts stupid...you both land on a designated ice patch, get out of your planes....and pull each others flight jackets over your heads and beat the crap out of each other!...

...OK....so I went too far.

CHEERS (heh, heh).

pudsterIV
04-21-2004, 01:52 PM
Crikey, imagine what they would ask about New Zealand!

LEXX_Luthor
04-21-2004, 01:56 PM
Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chr├ętien formally apologizes to United Nations...


---> http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.html?id=1088

http://www.revolutionsf.com/images/humor/lexx/apology.jpg



__________________
New Zealand's Cleopatra2525 Sunday mornings USA SciFi Channel (5-6 AM EST lol http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif )
http://www.xenite.org/exchange/standard/cleorenpictures.jpg (http://www.sf-fandom.com/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=19)

Maple_Tiger
04-21-2004, 02:13 PM
I can't beleave people are that freaken stupidhttp://ubbxforums.ubi.com/images/smiley/52.gif


Now that the snow is melting and my ice home has fallen over, what shall i do?

One good thing going for us is that it's worm enough now that milk doesn't freeze.

So who won the last hippo race last tuesday? Didn't most of the hippo's actualy freeze to death last winter?

Capt. 361stMapleTiger.
http://img52.photobucket.com/albums/v158/Maple_Tiger/FBAA.gif
Proud member of the FBAA and Nutty Philosohpy Club.

Maple_Tiger
04-21-2004, 02:14 PM
Actualy LEXX, Paul Martin is the prime minister.

Capt. 361stMapleTiger.
http://img52.photobucket.com/albums/v158/Maple_Tiger/FBAA.gif
Proud member of the FBAA and Nutty Philosohpy Club.

LEXX_Luthor
04-21-2004, 02:31 PM
That was an olde article. http://ubbxforums.ubi.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif